MY TURN

It’s Not About the Flatware

After two marriages each, my new wife and I are learning what it means to combine households.

By Ed Goldman | NEWSWEEK

Published Jul 26, 2008

From the magazine issue dated Aug 4, 2008

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Discuss

Posted By: lisa wittich @ 10/03/2008 12:38:22 PM

Comment: I loved your candid article. I started reading it at the doctors and looked it up online to finish it. I have been married 21 years and every day is a struggle. Your examples of "jealousy" are right on. Jealousy doesn't have to involve other relationships. It can, as you pointed out, involve what one may have missed out on - and sees in his or her partner; or, may be currently missing out on. Enjoy your life together.
Posted By: Ed Goldman @ 09/25/2008 6:48:39 PM

Comment: While I appreciate Dr. Alan Singer's comments, I'd like to point out that my second marriage lasted almost 29 years, until the death of my wife. I believe that says something about my belief in "the enduring and vital institution we know as marriage." --Ed Goldman
Posted By: DrAlanSinger @ 09/07/2008 11:42:20 AM

Comment: Ed Goldman's "My Turn" described the world he plunged into, one in which people "fall in and out of love sequentially". Social scientists also refer to the trend as, serial monogamy. His description of he and his wife's first, second, and third marriages is very thorough. But in my 30 years as a family therapist, I get bad dreams from reading scary quotes like, "Our first marriages were relatively brief misjudgments".... yikes!
Thankfully, most couples that I have assisted over the years, care deeply about the enduring and vital institution we know as marriage.

Dr. Alan Singer
www.FamilyThinking.com
Posted By: law_flake @ 07/28/2008 10:18:07 PM

Comment: After knowing Candy for years and between the two of us discusing relationships - I could finally sence and feel the love she has for Ed. I wish them the best - they certaintly have earned! BAF
Posted By: scifiblues @ 07/28/2008 12:15:54 AM

Comment: I wish the Goldmans good luck and best wishes in their new marriage. However, I think as the new wife I personally would want to start fresh in a home that was my very own from the start. Mr. Goldman, by all means, keep the things that you collected in your long and happy marriage, always remember your deceased wife. But, cut your new wife a break already. If you choose to continue living in your current house with your new wife, at least buy an new bed!