Discussing sex with your tweens and teens can help them make better choices. Here's how.
Comment: Anonymous, you started being promiscuous at 11 probably because your parents set a bad example to you.
Was your father present in your life? you don't mention it.
Divorced parents, parents who use drugs or single parents too busy looking for another love don';t pay much attention to their kids.
Comment: what can i say, yes i go behind my daughter and chk her myspace, and txts, there are sooo many of her friends that curse a blue streak (M-fer this and that and you are such a @#@!#$) Its just so crazy and with girls you gotta watch them..........
and as far as all this christianity thing , and the bible does or doesn't say this or that
(Not to get gross or graphic)
but think about this a man is made one way a woman another, and when they come together they can produce another living being, now when you have 2men or 1women, you can not produce another life, that just tells me that they way it was meant to be, one man one woman, and something great and wonderful will and can come of it.
Comment: You know...I was raised by a single, divorced, lesbian, bi-polar mother..... i'm perfectly fine. and i'm still a virgin.
Don't you dare say that single moms don't pay attention to their kids.
because thats CRAP.
Comment: You may be fine but that is anecdotal, which is not the basis for drawing conclusions on a broad scale. The worst of kids can come from the best of parents and the best of kids can come from the worst of parents. However, statistically bad kids result from bad parenting and good kids result from good parenting in far greater numbers. Rather you want to admit it or not, dysfunctional families DO tend to have a negative impact upon their children and to claim otherwise by pointing to single data point anecdotal evidence to the contrary is a form of denial.
For example, the nonsense that fathers are close to irrelevant in the home is yet another disastrous modern day truism brought to us by the Left in general and the feminist movement in particular that has reeked havoc and destruction upon society. Throw other pathologies into the mix such as homosexual relationships being considered ???normal??? and we are on a fast-track toward Gomorrah.
As a society, we are in BIG trouble??? and the Messiah-like worship and emotionalism being thrown at a Presidential candidate with virtually no real-world experience or skills other than an ability to give charismatic speeches that mesmerize the gullible is a prime example of just how far we have sunk in regards to using REASON in our choices. The feminization of society is taking its toll and it is beginning to show in much more dramatic ways than, say, even two or three decades ago.
Comment: Falcon, you are doing the right thing, at least you are normal.
You'll be rewarded when you find the right man to marry and how much he will respect you for it.
Those who say otherwise just feel guilty of not having waited and want you to feel bad for your right choice to wait.
Comment: I was giving blowjobs when I was 11, and I lost my virginity when I was 14. Do you really think that my mom had a clue? Wake up parents; I can't believe how ignorant some of you are. I am going to try my best to leave religion and politics out of this...so here goes. Before I lost my virginity, I was the only one out of all my friends that had not had sex. And, no, we were not a bad group of kids. You think your perfect little angel wouldn't do something like that? You're kids are obviously smarter than me and have better morals right? Check again; I have a 4.0 GPA at my uinversity, I volunteer, I am very sweet, etc. and I'm sure my mother would be shocked if she knew anything of my past sexual experiences.
My parents did not talk to me about sex; they were very open and I'm sure figured I would come to them if necessary. Some people seem to think that 14 year olds don't have a clue about birth control, and cannot physically or emotionally accept the consequences of sex. I knew exactly what I was doing at the time and to this day I do not regret it. I never had unprotected sex, even at that age. When I was 15, I had a condom break on me and my boyfriend and I did not notice until it was too late. So what did I do? I grabbed the paper I had saved from sex ed a year earlier with the local health clinic information (thank goodness for that)! We immediately drove to the clinic where they provided me with free PlanB or whatever it was called at the time. Then they helped me get birth control. After that I used both condoms and birth control. *GASP!* A 15 year old can have a brain!!!
(I am 21 now) I'm not scarred for life, I'm not a bad person, I'm not knocked up and I've never had an STD. I just happened to be a teenager for a while! I'd also like to mention that every time I have ever had sex, (yes even as a 14 year old), I have always done so in the context of a loving relationship. BTW teenagers do have the capacity to be just as much in love as any adult.
For everyone who thinks that monitoring your children 24/7 will surely prevent all of this...just wait til they get to college!!! College is the time that I stopped partying, stopped being promiscuous, and began acting responsible. It's also a time when all the responsible, sheltered kids who never drank or had sex during middle/high school ended up drunk at frat parties sleeping with every guy (or girl) there. When sheltered kids are suddenly given so much freedom all at once, they go hogwild. They do not know how to limit their drinking, or don't know that guys will take advantage of you b/c they haven't watched it happen to other girls at high school parties. Understand that if YOU shelter them now, THEY will pay later. And you probably won't know about it.
Comment:
Comment: Irresponsible parenting, for sure. They failed you big time and should have done a much better job on monitoring you and knowing who your friends were. That was clearly a bad crowd and there is no excuse for your parents to have been that out of touch or clueless, which is far too common these days.
You dodged a bullet, but statistically played with dangerous fire at a vulnerable time in your life where you were most ill-prepared to understand or manage a life tragedy had it bit you.
This kind of testimonial only goes to demonstrate just how important it is for parents to be vigilant. Especially these days.
It is long past the time where adults need to step up to the plate and do their job as responsible parents and not simply cave to this sad social zeitgeist. Unfortunately, many first need to grow up themselves.
Comment: Simply buy them a blow-up sex doll and be done with it! No diseases, no broken hearts, no pregnancies, no backtalk, no nagging, etc. Before long there will be sex robots and we won't have to worry about "The Talk". Think about it: you can program a robot to be the perfect man or perfect woman. I'm looking forward to it, though likely I will be in my eighties when it becomes a reality.
Comment: Are you out of your mind?!! Buy CONDOMS for your 11-14 year old children if you learn they are having sex and then have a "GOOD LAUGH" putting one on a cucumber together?!!! This is absolutely SHOCKING advice.
Let me tell you what a REAL parent SHOULD be doing if this kind of behavior is discovered??? that ???boyfriend/girlfriend??? should not even come CLOSE to your child after that and his/her parents and school immediately informed of that decision and why. And you do whatever is necessary to enforce that rule??? including monitoring all communications and activities; and even changing schools, if necessary.
I am absolutely disgusted by the liberal claptrap that passes for wisdom these days. Is it any wonder kids are so out of control?
Comment: You are right. That is the worst advice ever. to me that the tells the child its ok to have sex. Its like telling a kid it ok ok to drag race their car as long as they wear a seat belt. Parents should not be making sex into a joking matter. Theres nothing funny about it. U are not suppose to be their best friend. BE A PARENT & DON"T ALLOW YOUR KID TO DO & GO WHERE EVER THEY WANT UNSUPERVISED. monitor who they are with & where they are at all times. Don't say u can't. THAT IS YOUR JOB AS A PARENT.
Comment: What is particularly infuriating about this kind of sick and twisted logic is that it is so dominant in our educational system, Main Stream Media (MSM), and society at large. And, even more troubling, people of this ilk invariably want parents out of our children???s live so they can spoon-feed this garbage to them. After all, they are the anointed, intellectual elite who clearly know what is best for the benighted.
What unmitigated arrogance.
I mean, really. How far does this lunacy go? Should we provide shooting instruction to gangbangers so they always hit their target rather than innocent bystanders because, after all, gangbangers ARE going to shoot people anyway? Should we provide booze to our kids as long as they do it at home because, after all, they are going to drink anyway?
I am so sick over the ubiquitousness of this kind of degenerate thinking, I am nearly speechless. At what point did society decide that it is no longer appropriate for adults to ACT like adults and, instead, turn authority over to the whims and immature proclivities of children and simply ???plead??? with them to do the ???right??? thing. And all the while sending mixed signals?
Gee??? maybe we should just give these out-of-control kids a ???timeout??? as well.
Comment: Comment Cont....
And now for the theory... I believe we would for the most part be far more peaceful. I think that the fallout from the masses of guilt-ridden, sexually frustrated people out there is the highly deviant (rape, molestation, etc...you know the ones I mean) behaviors and probably many of the lesser-deviant behaviors (prostitution, etc.). Those that are repressed will find the outlets they need. If negative emotions were never attached to sex (and kids don't have this until they are taught it) would many of these behaviors lessen or even disappear? Pornography would likely still be around in some shape or form, but without the negative stigma attached would it lessen the more tasteless and harmful material? Would parents, peers,and counselors be more readily available, if needed, especially since, once again, there is no worries about any negative stigma? Or without guilt, pressures, etc. would most people even need to seek help? I don't see how anyone can feel we are better off by limiting discussions, education, etc. when it comes to sex. Avoiding wide-open discussions concerning sex, weaving guilt and negative stereotypes into the psyches of the masses, and promoting conflicting ideas ("you should enjoy sex [well, not all people believe this either], but only when you're married") can only and will forever only create more problems with more unhappy, sexually frustrated people.
Comment: I am pleasantly surprised to see some open-minded, forward thinking posts here, but unfortunately, there is still far too many ignorant people out there. And yes, the latter are often heavily influenced by the flawed reasoning of others instead of taking the time and effort to logically recah their own conclusions. When it comes to sex, simple questions and seemingly logical, but very controversial theories, always come to mind. First, what is EXACTLY wrong with sex? In other words, what is inherently wrong with it? Why should it cause so many people so much guilt? It only harms those that are taught that it should harm them . And before the ignorant point to STD's as the harm...this is like saying many people are injured or die in traffic accidents each day, so we shouldn't drive...and so on. On the contrary, if large numbers of people are being injured or dying in traffic accidents, we have no hangups about investigating the true reasons behind the problems, alter are behavior, and make any other necessary changes. For some reason, when it comes to sex we often do the opposite. Most resist talking about or taking part in educating themselves on the benefits or possible problems of sex. Open discussions on sex, especially at an early age when most of us want it and need it, are often discouraged and any proven methods of preventing STD's and pregnancies are ignored. Unreasonable alternatives often then come into play, such as abstinence, which is definitely not for everyone and has not shown to be an effective program. Often these create more guilt for those who are simply following natural, human needs. Names, such as slut or whore, may undeservedly often follow and only serve to create more undesirable and unnecessary emotions. Imagine a world where there was no harmful sexual stereotypes because there was no guilt. In this world, we all not only freely and openly discuss are wants and needs, but shamelessly partake in them also. No, I am not saying reckless, 60's free love, but responsible, informed, guiltless sex. I know, hard to imagine. But, would we be worse off? Would our way of life deteriorate, or would we be free of the significant mental and physical baggage that weighs far too many of us down?
Comment: It's quite hilarious how A mere article written to help parents talk to their teens and tweens about sex has become a full on arguement. I don't get why religion is mixed into so much. Religion does more damage than it does help. I eman over 3/4s of the wars are do to religious dispuits. Christian people are supposed to love their neighbors, not judge because that's God's duty.
What did the bible seem to mention, Jesus Christ, God's son, died for our sins. He took the judgement for all of us. So why are we all judging eachother.
I never read in the bible stating anything in the bible about "no sex before marriage"...or "you may not love someone because they are of the same sex" ...
the bible was created so long ago, probably misinterpreted over the years.
So stop using the bible as something to go behind. And acknowledge that religion just kind of screws things up, when it's just supposed to combine people together who have similiar faith.
Your teenagers having sex is the last thing you should be worried about...it's bound to happen. If they think they are in love, it doubles the possibility, and is God against love. We were put on this earth as animals, we're the only animal [besides dolphins] who have sex for pleasure, isn't that a sign that we should all have sex more. And isn't funny that we get the body to reproduce around say?....tweenhood. Well oh my!
Are we going to do some genetic research someday that will stop the progress of youths hormones? No.
Just let nature takes its course. If your Kid was meant to have children, then so be it. It was "God"s divine plan...remember that folks? He has your fate, he knows what's going to happen, and if it's for your teenager to get pregnant...well then...what are you going to do? cry to God about something that HE made happen? That's like complainign to your parents as a kid because they bought you a barbie instead of a baby doll.
Let's worry about things that matter: Global warming, still occuring PMU farms, slaughtering of animals for fur and leather, racism, gay rights, getting a better president.
Stop being selfish about what you want your kids to do, let them make their own minds, and inform them but don't preach.
sheesh....i have more to say but i'm just going to cool off.
Comment: If you look back at my original posts, I didn't bring up religion, but limited my comments to the practical ramifications of young teens having sex. But when people started slamming Christianity, I felt compelled to defend it. I'm so tired of people who are insisting on non-judgmentalism are so inccredibly judgmental of Christians--then they call US hypocrites! Unbelieable.
You have a pretty warped sense of Christianity, and you never saw any warnings about premarital sex or homosexual behavior, you obviously haven't read the Bible, Yes, some really evil people have used the guise of Christianity to start wars in the past, but the Bible says we'll be judged by the fruit we produce. That kind of hypocrisy will be rewarded accordingly. And no, not my job to individually judge whether any person qualifies for heaven, that is God's exclusive right. But the Bible does talk extensively about how we are to behave. It explicity instructs us to teach our children and admonish each other. It consistently spells out what is foolish and evil and harmful behavior and tells us to be wise. So if I stand up and say what I believe, it's because I'm sick of seeing God's word and people slandered.
You do not see the value of Christianity, yet you have no idea of how this religion changed the course of humanity. It was the civilizing force for much of the world. The compulsion to spread God's word led to the development of the printing press, changing th cdourse of humanity irrevocably. The desire to read and spread God's word led to the masses of people learning to read. Christianity has brought meaning and strength to countless millions of people and changed more lives positivly than we could possibly calculate. Christians that suffer in every way imaginable have been a living testimony to hope to the others that witness their grace and reliance on God.
It was devout Christians who founded our schools and universities, staffed the underground railroad, hid Jews during the Holocaust, and fought to abolish slavery, at tremendous personal cost and sacrifice. You obviously have no sense of history. Christians and Christian churches supply a huge percentage of relief for the various disasters around the world. You must be utterly clueless not to grasp this fact.
Until you have a grasp on basic human history, you really have no standing to comment on things you do not understand. You only appear incredibly uneducated.
Comment: i wasn't simply refering to YOUR comments. Their was a lot of religious folks on here. not just you.
Comment: A final comment before I go and leave this place to everyone:
I've noticed a few people, usually Christians, almost always have to bring up homosexuals and the Bible's alleged stance against it in any discussion of sex. Allow me to give you some insight into historical accuracy.
You're original written texts of the Bible don't say ANYTHING about homosexuality. The "man with man" thing in Leviticus? That was talking to the priests about their practice of ritual sex in ceremony and using two men to perform it like a neighboring kingdom did. It was basically saying, keep that out of your sacred rituals! Soddom? Even your own current Bible says in Ezekial 16:49-50 Behold, this was the iniquity of your sister Sodom: pride, overabundance of food, prosperous ease, and idleness were hers and her daughters' : neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and needy. And they were haughty and committed abominable offenses before Me; therefore I removed them when I saw it.
Now where does that mention homosexuality? Sounds to me like it was destroyed because of a lack of hospitality, kindness, and humility. That "commited abominable offenses" could easily mean simply being prideful you know, God sees Pride as an abomination. And that's all I'll say on that subject, anyone who truly thinks the Bible mentions or condemns homosexuality is not very educated. David and Jonathon were most likely lovers in their youth, and there are passages about them that are strongly sexually suggestive, and no one cared. Guess God didn't either since David later became King and was the bloodline for Iesu, (properly Joshua in english, NOT Jesus, pronounced approximately as E-ay-shu, or even Yeshua in the Greek of the time).
Comment: If you want to try to show your intelligence by origin of name, actually Jesus was the Greek translation of Joshua (and is how it appeared in the original text since it was written in Greek). Yeshua is the Hebrew form. Not that it really matters. They all mean "He will save his people from their sins" (Matthew 1:21), or simply the Lord saves, which is the important thing: meaning, not form.
Comment: Part 2--Ran out of room.
The thing that makes the Bible and believable and relevant today, is that it describes the human condition perfectly. Even the "heroes" of the Bible were very flawed, sinful people, yet God was able to use them. It's the same today. He works through us despite ourselves.
I was raised Catholic and have attended a Presbyterian college, a Presbyterian church, a Congreational church, a Baptist Church, a Bible church, and a non-denominatinal church, as well as visiting Lutheran, Methodist, and other churches (moved a lot, was in a ministry group in college). I have yet to encounter the fire and brimstone appreach you describe. Johathan Edwards is not alive and preaching today. Most churches spend their time sharing God's love and encouraging their members to practice it and honor God in their own lives. If you attended a few churches instread of just critiquing them and selectively studying liberal versons of theology, you might know that.
And, yes, I do believe that it is much more Hollywood and pornography making sex such a nasty thing in our society. The images they give us are titilating and degrading. That's what i find damaging to our youth, not religion. And if we give up and let them live up to those images, (which is what the point of the original discussion was), they are harmed, society is harmed, and, most importantly, their children are harmed. And no, I don't want my children taught in public school that all value systems are equal (preposterous notion) and that premarital, recreational sex is inevitable. If they taught a decent value system with it, I would have no problem with the education. I got a pretty decent version myself, back in the late 70s. That's not now it's generally done now, however. Just one reason I put my money where my mouth is and send my kids to Christian school. I will be sure, however, that they possess all the relevant facts, including birth control.
While you obviously think yourself extemely sophisticated and educated, you're certainly not the only sharp knife in the theological drawer. And, even if you were, see my last post. If we're relying on our own intellectual capacity to make it through, we're in for a huge downfall
Comment: I'll reply to both of your last posts.
Um, no one was really bringing up homosexuality, except for one mom who was distressed to find that her daughter is a lesbian, way early in the discussion. Looks like you're just bringing this up to gind your own personal axe and show off your "amazing" knowledge.
You say, "You're original written texts of the Bible don't say ANYTHING about homosexuality.." Diday, miss Romans 1:24-32? It's pretty clear. Some people hyperfocus on this one particular sin, and miss the whole point of Romans, which is that we all willingly sin against God in a myriad of ways, and therefore we all deserve condemnation, but are offered His grace instread. Still, if you're going to bring it up, there it is.
As for your comments regarding the Bible: If you can translate it and make it say anything you want it to, as you insist, how do you explain the fact that even with all the different translations over the space of thousands of years, the differences between them all are miniscule? There are almost no large theological issues in dispute as a result of difference in translation (now interpretation, that's a different story...).
As for all the issues about multiple wives, slavery, nudity, etc., this is a fallen (sinful, imperfect) world because of man's original sin. We are born into the cultures we're born into. Those things were the norm at the time. No one said the Bible represented utopia--that comes in heaven, where we can escape the bondage of our human natures.
Having multiple wives in ancient days actually was a way that a culture made sure that "extra" women and widows were protected and cared for. There were very likely many less men than women due to wars, hunting accidents, etc. No one was commenting on incidental nudity within a family. Having sex with your children in the room was a norm, since the ancients didn't have McMansions, duh. I'm sure they probably waited until the kiddos were asleep and tried to keep it quiet, or rendevoused in some private outdoor place when able (just like we do today).
Even the Old Testament had admonitions on how to bring up children, and murdering them was not considered the ideal. Again, fallen, sinful world. Ditto slavery. The Bible talks about how to treat each other well and with respect, even in these less than perfect circumstances. It was the cultural norm of the time around the world, not just in Jewish or Roman or Greek society.
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Comment: Ok, first let me say I'll try to tone down the condescending attitude if you will.
Now, the reason I didn't mention Romans 1:24-32 is because it slipped my mind to do so. This is mainly because I think Paul was historically one of the most misogynistic, sexist, hate-filled men who ever perverted the good ideas of the LOVE message of the New Testament. Paul was one of the first to try to take that message and twist it for his own glory and control. How he ever made it into canonical scripture would be beyond me, if I didn't know that he was a Roman and that the Romans are the ones who selected the books for canonization.
Anyway, to answer the question about that mention of homosexuality, I should have said the bible doesn't condemn it. Most translations agree that this passage pretty much says that God is going to punish this group of heterosexual people by causing them to lust after their own sex and other things. Now, why that would be God's form of punishment for them I don't know. Perhaps they were nasty towards gays. Or perhaps given the time period and context the original translations are punishing people by turning them to pederasty or men forcing themselves on boys and women forcing themselves on girls. This would definitely be known in the Greek and Roman cultures of the time.
As to translations, they differ in extremes. It's not miniscule at all! I'm not talking about the "church approved" five or six translations. There are literally thousands of translations out there and some are extremely radically what we would call "liberal" while some are extremely what we might call "conservative". Some change whole passages to say something completely different than any other translation. It happens, and it's ok that it does. It just means that the Bible, whether divinely inspired or not, was written by men and can be twisted and shaped by men to their own purpose. The only "word of God" in the Bible is actually the old Law passed to Moses, and the red words in the NT if you believe Jesus was God incarnate. Otherwise it's all religious stories passed down by men.
Comment: You really need to read the Bible passages in context and not just pick out verses and actually study the Bible
Comment: Wow, you really don't know me. I've studied it all in context, multiple times, professionally and as a hobby. Even way back in High School I took theology, religious courses, and studied religion as pertains to culture. Yet you accuse me of the very thing I've found that most Christians do, pick and choose what they like. See, everyone picks and chooses in religion. It's man's nature. Thomas Jefferson tore out pages he didn't like and created the "Jefferson Bible". I would be willing to bet that you interpret some scriptures in ways others don't. I, however, and the many theologians and experts I've studied under, spent years pouring over context both cultural and written. Found and studied adjacent writings of the time to compare, and came up with conclusions based on sound research methods that incorporated all contexts and made the findings as objective as possible. Something I'd bet you aren't, objective I mean. It's your interpretation and subjective view or the highway isn't it?
Comment: Hey bdmom, I've read the NT. In fact I've read the entire Christian Bible around 30 times using approximately 15 different English translations. I prefer "The Amplified Bible". The absolute worst, and most offensive and contradictory version has to be The King James version, ordered by the tyrant and repressed homosexual King James of Scotland/England. He just threw out anything he didn't agree with, beheaded anyone who translated anything "wrong" (he didn't approve of), and really was off the deep end. See, I've studied Christian theology professionally and as a hobby. My main problem with any version of the Christian Bible is this: Christians profess it is incorruptible and even the translations must be near to perfect or God wouldn't allow them. Bull. Total bull. I could write my own translation of the Bible right now, using the ancient Hebrew, Aramaic, and Greek texts if I could obtain them, and make them say anything I chose. In fact, I could just take a current version of the Bible, reword it into what I believe it should say, and have it published.
This is all off the point I was making though, and basically in answer to your immediate assumption that I had never read the New Testament or the Torah, Talmud, Old Testament, whatever. The thing I am trying to point out is that so-called "Christian morality" is detrimental to humanity in many ways. True "christian morality" would allow a man to have many wives, own slaves, kill his children at will for backtalk, etc. Even in the NT slaves were common, and there are rules on how to treat your slaves, and your women and children. Maybe if these rules were actually still followed, since during that time period sex wasn't hidden from children, nor was nudity, nor was any of that taught to be bad, then we'd be better off. However, even if you claim to be open about sex and nudity, I know that most Christian churches STILL preach against it. Most Christians STILL use the "Fire and Brimstone" version of God. And the taboos against human sexuality, along with the demand by so called Christians that schools not be allowed to teach anything of the sort to their children, makes for a very bad mix.
It's not Hollywood that's corrupting, it's only doing what we allow it to do. In other countries incidental nudity, sex, and such are seen and discussed on television from the time children are born, and those countries almost overwhelmingly have much lower sex related problems than we do. Make something natural and open, it's not a big deal. Forbid something and make it taboo, watch people flock to it. Simple human nature.
Comment: We arent under the law in the Old testament anymore. You really need to study the Bible
Comment: Wow, did you read anything I said? I've read and studied the New Testament. And if you aren't "under the law anymore" I'd like to know how you justify many of your beliefs. Especially since Jesus said that He didn't come to do away with the Law, but to fulfill it.
And re-read what I said again, there WERE SLAVES STILL AROUND IN CHRIST'S TIME AND LONG AFTER. CHRISTIANS HAD THEM AND JUSTIFIED THEIR RIGHT THROUGH THE BIBLE. Even in the American South the Bible was often quoted in support of slavery. So don't try to act all pious and educated when you don't even read what is said.
Comment: eneuhauser, I notice you haven't responded to any of my comments to you, but just continue to be rude and insulting to John 3:16. I want to leave you and your friend Whalebone with one thought, from 1Corinthians 1:18- 30. You see, God understood your type, and human nature never changes. You think you're smarter than the rest of us "rubes." Well, so did Paul, who wrote these words and persecuted Christians because their philosophy offended him, before Jesus Christ appeared to him and changed his life forever. I pray that he will touch your hearts similarly.
"For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing but to us who are being saved it is the power of God,. For it is written, 'I will destroy the wisdom of the wise; the intelligence of the intelligent I will frustrate.'
Where is the wise man? Where is the scholar? Where is philosopher of this age? For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not know him, god was pleased through the foolishness of what was preached to save those who believe. Jews deman d miracles and signs and greeks look for wisdom, but we preach Christ crucified: a stumblilng block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles, but to those whom God has called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. For the foolishness of God is is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength.... But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; god chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things--and the things that are not--to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. it is because of Him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us the wisdom from God--that is, the righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written:'Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.'"
May the Lord bless you.
Comment: Whalebone, he is real trust me. I run into zealots like this all the time. In fact the most fun I've ever had was inviting a mormon missionary and a Jehovah's witness over at the same time. Great conversation, and interesting debate....
Comment: In the same token JOHN: Lev:19.5 -- Basically says if you eat a meal in Gods honor (say xmas dinner) then you have to eat it in its entirety within two days, on the third day you're an abomination if you eat it and the food needs to be burned. This would truly suck if I were a literalist and excepted the bible as the written world because I love leftovers thoroughly.
Comment: We are no longer under Old Testament law because Jesus died on the cross. So that doesnt apply today
Comment: Hey John 3:16, you may be the dumbest person I think I've ever encountered. Anywhere! Put down the bible and pick up a newspaper. Remove head from anus and read!
Comment: Lets put this to rest.
Genesis 9:16: "And god blessed noah and his sons, and said to them...Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth.." and once again at the end of the passage "be fruitful and multiply, bring forth abundantly on the earth and multiply in it"
It says NOTHING about..."You must be 18 years of age, have had primary education, be in love with your spouse, get married in my church with lots of people around, your parents must bless the wedding, THEN you can have kids" hahaha No such luck John, Gods word right there!
Comment: I have enjoyed reading your input for may hours now, however, you can only have the last word if your motivation is is directed toward the well beings of teens and tweens, and getting them to understand the
serious bond that occurrs when people engaged in sexual intimacy. There are guidelines laid out in society and those guidelines are laid out for a reason. You as an individual do not get to decide what those are, but they are a necessary part of a complex scociety. Attempting to guide and direct young people to a path that will allow them to explore their sexuality in a monogamous relationship, is a healthy way to live, love, and pursue pleasure. I have many children and we are open and honest regarding questions about sex. Some of my children, were adopted, there mother never had limits set on her regarding her sexuality. The result of that was the loss of a family, of a parent and eventually the loss of a life. Even the Bible with all of it's so called hypocrsy, has the wisdom to have us looking to it for knowledge
and to keep us debating for hours. Nobody says that you have to follow all of the guidelines, that you see before you in the Bible, but you can use it as a tool to guide and direct.
And now if you have any questions I graduated from the school of Hard Knocks, and with this
subject, I can help you understand sir.
t
Comment: You need to get your Bible references right. Genesis 9: 16 is The rainbow shall be in the cloud, and I will look on it to remember ???t???the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is on the earth.???
The New King James Version. 1982 (Ge 9:16). Nashville: Thomas Nelson.
Comment: It doesnt say anything against that either and really I couldnt care less how much education people have, how old they are, or if they love each other when they get married. There was a whole bunch of arranged marriages and people got married when they were a lot younger, but as long as they think they are doing what God wants and they are married when they have intercourse
Comment: John, are you for real?
Comment: I really dont want to argue. I gave you references to your questions and gave you answers. The Bible has answered your questions and I have shown you respect so there is no reason for you to act like Im extremely stupid.
Comment: Last JOhn: Since I enjoy debating with you. Where in the bible does it talk specifically about sex? Does it talk about oral sex? Anal sex? Are these things taboo? Is only missionary position worthy of god? You folks may laugh but I'm asking a serious question here. How many times are married couples allowed to have sex every week John? Since you claim the bible is such great learning material, does it talk about a womans cycle, and the reasoning behind it? Does it talk about men and prostate cancer; because according to most physicians these days, you need to masturbate at LEAST once a month to use it, thus reducing chances of prostate cancer.
John if you need help with these things....I'm a JHU grad I can help you understand sir.
Comment: By the way, the only mention of masturbation in the Bible has been misinterpreted as a prohibition against it. The man God rebuked was masturbating, INSTEAD of having sex with his wife, whom God wanted him to impregnate.
Comment: Why are you so antagonistic toward Christianity? You seem very angry. If someone claiming to be a Christian hurt you in the past, keep in mind that we still sin, and that even Jesus warned that many people would claim to do things in His name, but at judgment time, He will tell them, "Away from me, I never knew you."
At any rate, If you read the the Old Testament book "Song of Songs," it is an entire book about the sexual relationship between a man and his wife. It speaks about the beauty of the act, and is pretty racy, for the Bible.
The Bible isn't the kama sutra. It's not the instruction manual on sex. It doesn't dictate how often we can have sex within marriage, it just asks us to keep it within the confines of marriage. God doesn't explain why he created the menstrual cycle, or fire ants, or gravity. He's God. He does say, in His word, "The foolishness of God is wiser than the wisdom of man." In other words, He knows more than we can comprehend in our present form. We're supposed to put our fatth in Him. He's in control of the universe, created everything we see, hear and feel, and He loves us enough to send His son to die for us. That's enough for us, unless we want to be pigheaded and insist we know more than God or align ourselves against Him.
It's true that some religious individuals have perverted God's view of sex, especially in the past. When people go beyond what the Bible teachces and start imposing their own personal views as gospel, that's not Christianity--it's sin. Your beef isn't with the religion, it's with the people who twisted religion to fit their own adgendas.
I challenge you to ractually read the Bible, especially the New Testament. It's not all puppies and rainbows, but an honest rendering of the struggle of human beings and a loving God. Peace to you and yours.
Comment: Im not debating sir. I just dont want you to say stuff about the Bible that isnt true. It will take me a couple minutes but I will give you answers, maybe not to all because I am far from a scholar but I will try
Comment: First sex between married people isn't bad, Song of Solomon is entirely about the sexual relationship between a husband and a wife. ???Lev. 18:22 (Bible reference) for homosexuality, anal sex. Menstruation ???Lev. 15:19. I will not get into how much a couple is suppose to have sex, it is a part of a healthy relationship though and is up to them
Comment: I believe that when 2 people have strong feelings for one another and are in love and they decide to be intimate with one another, the strong feelings enhance the love-making and it makes it more special and enjoyable. I do, however believe that one should also test drive a car before buying it, so I don't necessarily think it is a good idea to wait until one is married to have sex. A physical connection is just as important as an emotional and intellectual connection and if that is missing, then it really does affect the relationship between both parties. I wouldn't encourage anyone to have one-night-stands or have 'casual' sex since it can make a person very jaded and make them appreciate and value the act less and less. I believe everyone is entitled to their own opinion and they can do what they want with their bodies, but I just believe that having sex with someone you really care about really makes the act more special and more enjoyable and I really believe that it's important to test drive a car before buying it!! Speaking from my own personal experience, that is VERY, VERY important!!! ;o)
Comment: is it true?
Comment: It's wrong according to who John? You?
Ah, gods word, such a broad word it is too. Gee wiz John, I'm still flipping through the bible looking for something on global warming and addictions to oil and the internal combustion engine.
John, you really need to read the old testament my friend, a very vengeful god is portrayed, then he's all puppy dogs and icecream in the new testement.
BTW what denotes two people as being married? Because as previously stated I didn't read anything in the bible that talked about ceremonies for wedlock.. "So and so took so and so as a wife" etc., the meaning behind this is they had sex and concieved, not that they stood at an alter and a priest blessed their union. The christian faith hadn't been clearly established yet, and if it was god that looked down and with burning bush and booming voice said "I hereby acknowledge your union" then no one on this planet would be married right now because I haven't seen anything in the recently wed column of the newspaper stating that god blessed a union of someone.
Comment: I really dont believe global warming is occuring and even if it is, its not that big of a problem. God has it under control and He wont let us destroy the earth, we arent even close to being that powerful. If you really actually did your research you would find out there is actually ceremonies, they had great big feasts for about a week . John 2:1-11
Comment: My Mom talked to me about sex at the age of 10 and told me dirty jokes growing up, and I waited til I turned 22. And it was with someone I had known for years.
Also I read about about a girl who said she was not taught anything about it and used to think her menstruel cycles were god's punishment for having bad thoughts so she would hide it from anyone. Then at the age of 19 she was homeless with a baby in her arms. Another example is a girl who's parents lied and pretty much made her feel worthless and told all her throughout her young life that she would be okay as long as she had a man to take care of her. Then at 16 she had a miscarriage with a 26 year old who was engaged to somebody else.
So I agree with this post. My brother wants to remain abstenent and he's 15 and we are very open about this subject.
Comment: Do you remember how the conversation with your mother went and what she said? I will be at the same cross-roads soon and I want to make sure I say the right thing. Thanks.
Comment: The unfortunate part about the bible is that it was written in a day and age where the world was completely different, societal woe's were completely different and the ideology of people's were less than educated. Every other text known to man, that's in some way related to forging a future for ourselves is updated regularly to include items that we previously thought were right or wrong and now we've found out otherwise. The bible hasn't been updated in thousands of years, oh sure king james version etc., yet here's the real irony, it wasn't written by god, it was physicially written and interpreted by man....therefore inherently flawed from the start. Too bad the bible doesn't elaborate on melting our polar ice caps and depleting our ozone layer, and being good little monkies that drive electric cars. If you wanna talk about natural sin, that's the biggest of them all. We're basically killing ourselves and doing it with a smile on our faces...
So if you wanna be a good little religious robot, please do something worth while, use your computer for helping other instead of spreading religious doctrine. join http://folding.stanford.edu/ put your processor to use and help Stanfords med team fold, and possible cure some diseases.
Comment: No robot here. It's no easy task trying to read the Bible and try to understand how God's word applies to an individual life. There's a lot more than a bunch of, "Thou shalt nots." It's about trying to love one's neighbor (and sometimes just one's family!). Your comments show that you are not very famiiar with individual Christians trying to live in a way worthy of God. We are not the hateful stereotype portrayed on television. We're not perfect, and don't claim to be. Our faith is in God, not ourselves. Christ is the only man to live a sinless life, and He came to die to pay for our sins--a sacrice made out of love for us, who didn't deserve it. Even those who hate Him and ridicule him.
Comment: If you read the Bible you would see that even though it was written so long ago it still pertains to stuff we deal with everyday. It never being changed is exactly what makes it so reliable and the Word of God
Comment: Im not here to argue or take the side of mormons. It is wrong to have premarital sex though.
Comment: SinNM, FYI, your assumptions about how most Christian parents teach are way off. I, and the moms I know that discuss this, do not teach my kids that sex is dirty or nasty, but beautiful and special. Too special to be treated as cheap recreation. I will also tell them that masturbation is a perfectly fine way to explore their bodies and release sexual tension.
As for "God's laws," Christians regard the New Testament as God's inspired word. Paul compares the relationship between a man and his wife to His relationship with the Church. It is meant to be pure and holy, not adulterated (no pun intended) by a similar relationship with multiple other paties, or gods.
If you read the New Testament, you would understand that Jesus Christ fulfilled the Old Testament law. It was impossible for humans to keep perfectly--Christ sacrificed Himself in order to fulfill its obligations for us. If you understood God and His love for us, you would understand that the purpose of HIs laws is to protect those whom He loves. Those laws protected individuals and society from many ills, quite literally in some cases, like pork. See, maybe God knew that humans weren't developed enough to know that trichinosis coold hurt them. but He knew, and gave the rule (just my flawed human guess, of course).
And we humans spread a lot of disease and misery and hurting children when we treat sex like it's purely recreation. God knows that there are deep feelings involved in this kind of intimacy. When we simply rut, we don't feel good about ourselves. Sex is intended to create a deep bond. I would say that in modern times (I can't speak for the "bad old days,"--when some people used religion as a weapon) it's Hollywood and pornographers who are making sex dirty and nasty. That's not how it's portrayed in any of the many churches I've attended!
Comment: John 3:16: Great John you've figured it out for us...kids shouldn't have sex until they're married. So lets be like certain faiths (ahem mormons) and have KIDS getting married as soon as they're out of highschool so they can rush into sex and the glorification of marrage, only to, realize it's not all its cracked up to be, and it's a lot of work and comprimize, then be completely unsatisfied and mal-adjusted parents and raise bitter little children. Typcial baby'makers great, just what the world needs!
Comment: That response was totally hilarious, hAA HAA HAAA, And a little bit true, but Don't be so critical of the BIBLE it is not all rubbish, especially the Book of John. I have to laugh again about the 2 closing sentences in your comment. HAAA ! HAA !Lighten up a bit, it's just folks speaking their mind.
Comment: Kids should not have sex until they are married
Comment: John, you say kids shouldn't have sex until their married, fair enough, but, if you were 15 and told you didn't have more than 2 or 3 years to live and you didn't have the money to get married and your dream was to become a parent would you follow your dream or your beliefs???
Comment: If I was fifteen and had three years to live, there's no way I would have a kid. Why would you want to have a baby only to die when they are 2 years old? It doesn't make sense. Only having 3 years to live doesn't warrant turning your back on what you believe. I don't even know if I have a whole day left to live! Think about it! We really don't know. In that case, we should really know and follow what we believe and make sure it's right because we might walk off this planet any day and then we will have to face eternity.
Comment: they shouldn't.
they do.
what are you going to do about it?
tell them they shouldn't have done it?
Comment: falcon3: What's wrong with being a single mother? I agree it's not the most ideal situation, but you say it like these people are without morals or a personal constitution. I assure you that people who are single parents aren't dumb or less than moral people just because they have children and don't have a spouse around.
Comment: As a single mom...I CAN TELL YOU WHAT IS WRONG... You need a balance and support from a man to show your son how to treat a woman with respect(because he will not learn it from the main stream media) AND show your daughter that they deserve love and respect from their parents. You may have someone in your life to step in and model this, but God plans really is the best way. I am not judging, I just know from experience. mom03
Comment: What's wrong with being a single mother is that children need two parents, if at all possible. Dads are not disposable--they are extemely important to the development of both boys and girls. Boys learn how to be men by watching their dads. Girls learn how to relate to men by interacting with their dads. Kids learn about rleationships and marriage by watching their parents. Too many women assume that dads don't matter, or that they can be replaced with other men friends or boyfriends.
Children in single parent families are at tremendous risk for a wide range of problems, from depression, to suicide, to drug use, to prison, not getting an education or a good job, etc. Girls who live with a man who is not theif biological father is 70, yes SEVENTY, times more likely to be sexually abused than a girl raised in a traditional family.
Of course, many single parents are making the best of their situation and trying valiantly to fulfill the role of both parents. They have an awsome responsiblity. But it is certainly not a great situation for children, and that so many women today are so cavalier that they don't even realize the potential harm for their children,is tragic. To purposely create such a situation by intentionally going out one's way to have a child out of wedlock is criminal.
Comment: Again, one more little rant. I see so very much on here about "God's laws" and how we should live. What are these laws? Are you Amish, Orthodox Jew, Christian, Buddhist, Muslim, Hindu, or what?
If I guess correctly I'll bet over 90% will say "Christian", and yet that means follower of Christ and Christ didn't write a whole bunch of laws on sex. In fact, he didn't write anything. men wrote those stories decades after his death. The earliest being I believe Mark, which was still over 80 years after the Crucifixion.
So, we must be following the "old testament" law's huh? Or at least those you've picked and chosen for your specific needs, cause you don't actually leave the house and live apart from your husband or kick your daughter out when one of you is menstruating right? That would be silly. Oh, and of course you probably eat pork. Hmmm, might even have sex with your husband during your menstrual cycle. Oh dear, that's a big no no.
PLEASE! ALL ANIMALS ON THIS PLANET REPRODUCE IN SOME WAY! Most by having sex. Humans have sex. We are mammals. Why is it such a HUGE DEAL to simply teach your child from early on that there is nothing dirty or nasty about sex or the human body. Why not simply teach them that masturbation is a totally natural and pleasurable past time and can even help them out until they are mature enough to understand and handle sexual contact with another person.
But no, most Christians preach against the vile evils of masturbation, the evils of lust, the evils of the naked human body, and so on and so forth. Making everything natural, unnatural, just so they can feel pious and superior. Then little "Johnny" goes and get's his classmate preggers and picks up an std in the process! KUDOS Brother and Sister Christian! Your youngster is a parent at 14! Yay you! Your methods work!
Comment: that is sooo true. masturbation is the purest safest form of sex.
I've never heard of getting yourself pregnant or giving yourself an STD.
masturbation actually has been proven medically, that it's healthy for people to masturbate, even when in a sexual relationship with someone else.
what's bad about knowing what makes you feel good?
it's a stress reliever, and not wrong at all.
Comment: it's funny how touchy the subject sex is to mothers in the US. how contraversial it is.
wow.
Religious folks, watch this guy...
he makes a good point:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeSSwKffj9o
Comment: lol i remember that. great stand up moment.... Funny how he puts religion in perspective
Comment: sadly he died.
he makes great points.
Comment: reminds me how fewer people (proportionally) smoke weed in Denmark? than the US and its legal there. No thrill no big deal. It is just nudity. It really isnt that big of a deal. (sorry for the double post i replied to the wrong post)
Comment: agreeing with SinNM....you make a good point.
Comment: Yes, we all know kids can sneak sex when they're determined. The key is to have a great relationship between kids and parents. If kids think their parents are just out to rule over and control them, they will rebel, of course. They may anyway, just because of personality, circumstance, human nature, etc. All I can do is tell them why the boundaries exist, and that our rules are designed to make their lives better and more fulfilling (just as God's laws are not designed to restrict, but to ensure a good quality life). They know they are precious and wonderful, and that their lives will be better if they put sex in its proper place in life.
Comment: Most of you zealots are still practicing religious ceremonial rituals that were created by men who thought the world was flat, and the earth was the center of the universe....doesn't that strike you as odd? Don't you question your religious doctrine, or are you devoid of all free-will?
Comment: OH COME ON! The reason for all this isn't some lost "morality" in the USA. There has been widespread teen and even tween sex, sexual abuse, incest, std's, pregnancies, etc. since this nation began! Humans are GOING to have sex! The only difference between now and 60 years ago is that people are a lot more open, women have a LOT more power, and being the "man of the house" doesn't mean you can stick it to your daughter or son or wife whenever you want because they are just your property anymore. NOW it's more likely to be found out, talked about, hashed out, cried about in the street and on television, and a jury of your male peers aren't going to smile knowingly and let you off scott free.
Morality my aunt fannie. The UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, is a fully industrialized high tech country with a HIGHER RATE OF STD's and TEEN PREGNANCY, and ABUSE, and RAPE than most western high tech countries. The big difference between those other western democracies and US? THEY ARE OPEN ABOUT SEX! And I mean they don't make the human body taboo, they don't try to regulate sex through "the power of God", they don't push abstinence only faith based sex ed (which has FAILED MISERABLY), and they don't think there is anything wrong with a kid seeing a woman's breasts at the beach. Here, we have skimpy clothing that is a lot more provacative than anything topless or fully nude over there in Europe. We censor movies and slap them with a NC-17 if they show a penis, but they can show a man decapating a woman or slowly cutting off someone's fingers with a chainsaw and that's cool! That's only pg-13 or R. After all, mindless senseless violence is ok as long as no penis or vagina gets shown! Those are naughty bits! Nasty nasty, sinful sinful!
Wow, no wonder Americans are so very screwed up in the head. IT"S JUST SEX! IT"S JUST NUDITY! QUIT MAKING SUCH A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT! Let it be seen, let the human body be understood, remove the mystery and you remove the thrill and taboo. GET OVER YOUR CHURCH LADY HYPOCRITICAL SELVES!
Comment: WOW...finally someone that's intelligent....praise the lord, I've got faith again.
Comment: P.S.- To everybody who thinks that STDs and HIV/AIDS are somehow "Black" diseases...let's all keep in mind that HIV/AIDS started in the white gay male community. But my point is that HIV/AIDS knows no race, no disease does. Any disease can strike anyone regardless whether they are orange, green or purple.
Comment: reminds me how fewer people (proportionally) smoke weed in Denmark? than the US and its legal there. No thrill no big deal. It is just nudity. It really isnt that big of a deal.
Comment: you forgot white..heh
Comment: Personally, I think the biggest reason teens begin to have sex too early and without any type of protection is because their parents are not involved and the kids have no activities that interest them. Being involved in extracurricular activities raises teens self-worth and self-esteem which then leads to them not needing to resort to sexual activities to feel good about themselves. I played two sports in high school as well as being involved with two other non-sports activities at school. I never really had the sex talk with my parents but I also knew I didn't need to have sex to feel good about myself. Its all in how children are raised.
Comment: You are totaly right. I played 2 sports in high school & college. I got alot of recognition & attention from guys for it that was not sexual. i remained a virgin & i still am. Like i said in another post, most of the other girls seemd desperate for attention form guys & would do anything to get it. My parents never talked to me about sex ever. But i learned what i needed to know at school. I never even thought about sex much in high school or college. I was too busy with sports & classes. I think i know about sex that many of my former classmates b/c many of them have had kids in high school or after graduation but none of them are married.
Comment: For all of you Zealots....there's a good movie to watch called ALTERED STATES. It's about the scientific research done back in the 60's and 70's regarding deprevation chambers. Basically you sit in a floating chamber with no light or sound, only your mind to keep you company. Basically it's like being in the womb again. Great spiritual movie where I guy reverts into an ape with pagan thoughts and ideas...shows you what self deprevation does to people...gee wiz isn't that what you're preaching, self deprevation? I also recall the catholics whipping themselves on the backs as they walked through plagued towns during the middle ages, and wearing braces with spikes on them around their legs for self mutilation in some religious zen type fashion. Hahahah...religion is funny that way, yet some of you still believe in its ancestery like it was much better "way back when".
Comment: Is it sci-fi or documentary? 'cuz it sounds like its worth watching
Comment: I know what your saying Ashley... Happens in the stalls from time to time. Its impossible for parents to be there all the time.
Comment: exactly. not just stalls. but i've known people to do stuff under the bleachers, behind the curtains in the gym, on the STAGE in the performing arts room, in classroom, on the stairs, behind things, on the football field.
sex is EVERYWHERE, believe me, i have a lot of teenage friends who go to school.
and im one myself. who of course doesnt engage in those gross sexual PDA moments.
Comment: on a halfpipe...in a dugout....Yeah that was kind of awkward. I'm not taking shortcuts through the baseball field ever again.
Comment: ahaha, that reminds me of the sex corner. There was a couple basically getting it on in this corner between stores. and me and my friend hund out in a different corner, but decdied to name ours the sex corner... [even though none of us ever did anything in that corner except eat chocolate with bread and stupid sean breaking a glass bottle then we couldnt sit there for like 4 months...yeahhh]
Comment: Falcon3: Wow you're a jaded youngster, so now you've learned to hate sex, that it's not enjoyable and that it's the bane of your existance. I feel sorry for anyone who ever tries to marry you...that's going to be a completely unfulfilling relationship, spent in seperate beds, probably in seperate rooms etc. How horrible, not wanting to have sex with someone you love....that's not love.
Comment: Who said i hate sex? how can u hate something u never did. i never had sex b/c i never had the oppertunity b/c of my parents. now i'm at a point where i have no experience which makes me really in
