Talking the Talk

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  • Posted By: heafuentez @ 08/09/2008 3:40:09 PM

    Glad to hear real articles on reality these days. So many parents are only talking about how sex can wait. I am a mother who also "wants only the best for my children" and I encourage my children to respect their body. However having a daughter in high school and one on her way, they have friends who are already parents at the age of 14, and 16. It's not the fact that they are going to do it anyway, you hope they don't and that they can wait, but if they have knowledge they are better prepared to make a responsible decision. Better to teach them the facts then for our kids to be clueless and learn only from curiosity!

  • Posted By: leorulz12 @ 08/09/2008 3:39:50 PM

    When talking to kids about sex, it should be a definate NO. Pregnancy and diseases are bad, but what is worse (Mostly because it happens all the time, especially with girls) is a sence of worthlessness after sex with no commitment. I work with youth and 100% of the girls I talked to said they with they never would have had any kind of sex with a boy. Once you are in the game, your in. It takes help to get out. Parents need to step it up.

  • Posted By: poohbear32nd @ 08/09/2008 3:39:03 PM

    We need to stop acting like these things to donot go on. it is better for me to educate my 12 adn 10 year ols sons before they go to someones house and get the wrong information. you can tell your child that you do not want them to have sex but they are going to do what they want when you are not around. I am raising two good young men but i have to stay in the real world and not in TV land think that one day they might be courious about sex. Teaching them the proper way is not a bad thing. some parents do not know what their children are doing when they are not around. And we wonder how they became pregnant. Sex can be a beautiful thing between to people who love each other. We want to teach them to wait until they are married but we have to also understand that they might. Teach them now on how to be safe instead of teaching them later on how to take Aids meds or feed a baby............

  • Posted By: kbates @ 08/09/2008 3:38:50 PM

    THIS WORLD IS JUST GETTING SICK! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST WAIT FOR SEX? WHY ARE WE TRYING TO TEACH CHILDREN THAT BY USING CONDOMS OR BIRTH CONTROL, YOU CAN HAVE SEX ANY TIME, ANY WHERE AND IT'S OKAY?? THAT'S WHY WE HAVE ABUSE AND AIDS NOWADAYS. BECAUSE THESE "TWEENS" AND TEENS ARE BECOMING CURIOUS, AND THEY NEED TO EXPLORE, AND AT TIMES WHEN THEY DON'T GET WHAT THEY WANT, THEY FIND AN INNOCENT PERSON AND SEXUALLY ABUSE THEM. THAT ISN'T TRUE ABOUT ALL CASES, BUT LOOK AT THE CHANGES THE WORLD HAS MADE. SEX IS FOR TWO PURPOSES: TO BRING PLEASURE TO THE PEOPLE THAT ARE COMMITTED TO EACH OTHER BY MATRIMONY (TO CONSUMATE THEIR MARRIAGE), AND TO BRING CHILDREN INTO THIS WORLD.
    I'M SO GLAD THAT I WAITED TO HAVE SEX UNTIL I WAS MARRIED, AND THAT WE BOTH SAVED EACH OTHER FOR THAT SPECIAL MOMENT. HECK NO WE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WE WERE DOING, BUT THAT'S WHAT MADE IT FUN... I WOULD FEEL ABSOLUTELY UNCOMFORTABLE IF MY HUSBAND HAD SEX BEFORE. HE'D PROBABLY SCRUTINIZE EVERY MOVE...AND THAT WOULDN'T MAKE SEX ANY BETTER.

  • Posted By: elorriene13 @ 08/09/2008 3:34:25 PM

    well i am 13 and am nowhere ready 2 have sex and ulike some of u parents mine don't want me 2 experiment with things before marrige. i believe that ur wedding nite is supposed 2 be wonderful and not just another nite with some guy i really don't want 2 be there going "oh well hes not as good as some of my other guys." that 2 me would be hurtful and wrong. and by the way my mother nor father ever had "the talk" that they are advertising here. and if my mother bought a box of condomes and put them on cucumbers i would never be able 2 look at a cucumber again.

  • Posted By: lostinthemix @ 08/09/2008 3:33:46 PM

    How about Tip # 10? WAIT UNTIL YOU ARE MARRIED TO HAVE SEX!!! Why is being passive the underlying theme in this whole article? YOU are still the parent, and YOU have to put your foot down. Agreed, you shoudl talk about sex with your kids, but don't offer to buy them condoms and contraceptives! That just says "Mom and Dad say it's okay, as long as I don't get pregnant". What a ridiculous idea we are teaching our kids! I never had sex till I was married, because I had a strong family background, and I knew my parents would be EXTREMELY disappointed in me if I was out gettin' busy with every girlfriend I had. What has happened to this society to think that the morals and values from "back in the day" should not still be practiced today? There is absolutely NO reason why a 14 or 15 year old child should be experimenting with sex, oral or otherwise. They should be encouraged to be kids and enjoy their time before they get launched into adulthood. Idealistic? Perhaps. But that's how I'm raising my kids. Shame on all of you who are allowing it or encouraging it. No wonder our society is so sex-driven and screwed up.

  • Posted By: elorriene13 @ 08/09/2008 3:28:55 PM

    i think that the teen will eventually have 2 decide for themselves wat they are going 2 do, the parents can only hope that all the cucumber talks worked. and by the way i am not ready 2 have sex and don't 2 and my mother nor father ever had a talk with me like the one advertised here.

  • Posted By: VERY_BEAUTIFUL @ 08/09/2008 3:17:53 PM

    PARENTS, BROWSE THIS WEBSITE AND THEN TALK TO YOUR CHILDREN AND IF YOU'D LIKE YOU CAN ALLOW THEM TO BROWSE THIS WEBSITE, TOO.....
    http://pureloveclub.com/chastity/index.php?id=7

  • Posted By: jlc5580 @ 08/09/2008 3:07:00 PM

    Shame on you, Newsweek! An entire article on tweens and sex and not one single time is the word "abstinence" mentioned! Maybe if we teach our children that sex can wait, teach them to have more respect for themselves, maybe then we would see a decline in the number of tweens experimenting with sex. And don't give me that "They're going to do it anyway..." line. If, as parents, we teach our children before Jamie Lynn Spears gets to, then they just might follow our advice. As a parent of two boys you will never, ever find me teaching them to put a condom on a cucumber! You will, however, find me talking to my kids. And if they make the decision to have sex at a young age, you will find me reiterating to my children how much I think they should wait. Now I'm all riled up....

  • Posted By: Nygirl4ever @ 08/09/2008 3:02:52 PM

    First of all! What the hell is a tween? Call them what they are. KIDS! Not teens, Let us stop making these kids older than what they are. I do not see 8 and 9 year olds as teens or tweens, they are children not near being teens. Kids should learn about sex in an age appropriate manner but lets not rush the growing process by giving them labels that they dont need.

  • Posted By: axelcarmen @ 08/01/2008 4:29:39 PM

    A cucumber?

    • Posted By: nikonguy88 @ 08/08/2008 2:40:07 AM

      yes cause teaching your son he'll be THAT big is realistic -_- *sarcastic tone*

  • Posted By: nayab @ 08/05/2008 7:31:35 AM

    Out patient therapy is the good option for the troubled teens for their better <a href=http://www.strugglingteen.net> psychological well being </a>. Other options are group counseling and family counseling.

    http://www.strugglingteen.net

  • Posted By: nayab @ 08/05/2008 7:31:12 AM

    Out patient therapy is the good option for the troubled teens for their better <a href=http://www.strugglingteen.net> psychological well being </a>. Other options are group counseling and family counseling.

    http://www.strugglingteen.net

  • Posted By: paulte @ 07/31/2008 12:38:22 PM

    In today's society, parents don't bring their kids up very well. How do you find out your kid is having sex already when you sit down to talk to the kid on the subject? Gimme a break! Shouldn't parents know where their kids are, who their friends are etc, where they "hang out"? Kids don't have intercourse or oral sex in a vacuum. Parents need to monitor their kids closely.

    There should just be no girlfriends or boyfriends before the age of 16. There shouldn't be any overnight parties. There shouldn't be any kids on the internet, etc. Parents need to closely monitor their kid's friends and parents for that matter. If the kid's friend's mother has a live-in boyfriend then the kid never goes to that house, etc.
    Kids have a natural innocence. The reason so many lose their innocence so early is that most of the adults in this society are so sleazy.

    When we were kids we had to be back in the house when the streetlights went on then we could stay in the yard to catch lightning bugs in jars. It was a much better world. Sometimes I think this is the era of the Reprobate (those foreseen to damnation) when most people will go to hell. When the Virgin Mary appeared at Fatima, she said that souls drop into hell like rotten fruit from a tree for the sins of the flesh. Take heed you silly liberals!

    • Posted By: piinalu @ 08/01/2008 1:23:12 PM

      Spoken like someone without kids.

      In the real world, there's good and bad, and kids need to know how to deal with it. Parents should know where there kids are but becoming a "helicopter parent" that never lets a kid out his or her sight, is no way to prepare a child for adulthood or how to make good decisions.

      Parenting is the most important and hardest job in the world. Open, intelligent, non-judgmental exchanges can go a long way to making the situation better Blanket condemnations based on stereotypes from a bygone eras doesn't..

    • Posted By: kcpotts @ 07/31/2008 2:12:16 PM

      Yeah because nobody did anything wrong in 1950. Get a grip, stop blaming the liberals for every little thing. What are you doing to make the world any better? My guess, nothing.

      • Posted By: Dave in NM @ 07/31/2008 2:17:58 PM

        Oh, come now - paulte is making the world "better" by insulting everyone who's different and claiming the world was a better place when people's lives were destroyed by judgmental responses to bad decisions. You don't think one-size-fits-all prepackaged hypocritical pseudo-"morality" is "better?" You must be one of those "silly liberals" yourself.

        • Posted By: paulte @ 07/31/2008 2:48:35 PM

          Oh, give me a break! People's lives destroyed by judgemental decisions! People are dying from AIDS today because of sexual promiscuity. Is it better to have a few hangups or be dead? People have called me plenty of names but never a liberal. You are a typical liberal hoping your own kids screw around before they marry. You are also a liberal because you don't think straight!

          • Posted By: Dave in NM @ 07/31/2008 2:54:05 PM

            Why am I unsurprised that you have not been called a liberal? Believe me - my comment was directed at kcpotts. And it's always the conservatives making the false distinctions like "it's a choice between abstinence and AIDS." No - people are dying from AIDS because they were inadequately educated, prepared and informed. Probably as a result of conservative policies based on the idea that if they have sex before marriage, they deserve death. There may be compassionate conservatives, but I have yet to meet one.

            • Posted By: InsertOpinionHere @ 07/31/2008 5:05:08 PM

              As you wisely point out, simply because you haven't met one doesn't mean they don't exist. Case in point: I am a evangelical Christian who considers herself conservative, but I fully support birth control education in schools. Just because I think that saving sexual activity for marriage is right doesn't mean that I think most teenagers will somehow magically agree with that point of view. Condoms in classrooms is a much better solution than teenagers with toddlers.

              • Posted By: Dave in NM @ 07/31/2008 5:30:07 PM

                Wow - and here I thought all you folks thought along strict party lines. Thank you for "outing" yourself as an actual compassionate conservative! "Ask and ye shall receive," I guess. Folks like you give me hope for this world - I applaud your rational and principled opinion.

                • Posted By: I'm in IL @ 07/31/2008 8:43:52 PM

                  I agree with Dave in NM. InsertOpinionHere's children are all the better for having him/her for a parent!

        • Posted By: jim8899 @ 07/31/2008 2:57:15 PM

          kcpotts and Dave,

          Can't you take a joke? Paulte is obviously being sarcastic.

          • Posted By: Dave in NM @ 07/31/2008 3:00:02 PM

            Ohhhh - of course - the blatant irrationality, entrenching in a position that is morally offensive and factually baseless - you're right, of course. Can't believe I fell for such an artless and obvious troll.

  • Posted By: FarrahAshline @ 08/01/2008 11:37:39 AM

    Another great option is to use an Eastern aopproach towards "Spiritual Sexuality' through the ancient Sanskrit texts regarding Love, sex and the Body. Many Eastern approaches towards love works through treating your body as a sacred temple, becoming conscious of energy and how it affects you emotionally, physically AND spiritually and how to use that energy in partnership. Tantra is a wonderful practice to teach children about Love. Namaste!

    Farrah Ashline

  • Posted By: TheSpouse @ 07/31/2008 2:24:10 PM

    NICE!! As an Abstinence Educator for teens and parents---I agree, talking early and often is key! Visit www.askmewhyiwait.com for more information!!

  • Posted By: Dave in NM @ 07/31/2008 2:14:07 PM

    Sex is a normal part of growing up, and my wife and I would be very sad if our kids didn't have any experiences beyond "making out" before marriage in adulthood. Therefore, we intend to approach the subject factually - describe consequences, cover mechanics, prepare them for the moral outrage of self-righteous hordes like paulte, who presume to dictate what's best for everyone based on what their church tells them to think. But we'll also cover things like the enormity of emotional involvement that comes with sexual behavior, the social ostracism that can accompany being perceived as "loose," and the peer pressure that can lead to sex that's unwanted or for which the kid may not be emotionally ready. On some levels, these discussions have already begun - our kids are 4 and 7, but they know that boys and girls see each other differently when they get older, and that those relationships can be problematic. Bottom line: contrary to the assumptions of those most judgmental among us, we "silly liberals" don't just say "do whatever you want as long as it feels good" - we supervise, educate, lead and inform, and encourage openness, decency and good choices. When my kids start having sex I want them to be good and ready, and I want them to know they can tell me about it without fear of retribution. You can't watch them every minute unless you lock them in a dungeon. Isn't it better to give them the tools they need to police their own behavior based on principles you all agree on?

  • Posted By: nanoreid @ 07/31/2008 1:54:56 PM

    I just had the Talk with my son the other day. He's going to 6th grade next year and I think he fully understand the consequences of sex. He doesn't feel like raising a kid right now.

  • Posted By: dannyhashovav @ 07/31/2008 1:50:32 PM

    I wish my parents talked to me about it when I was that age. Instead, I found out all about sex on streets from older guys, should I say, in not very pleasant or educational way.
    By talk to your child early, you can help them understand it better and maybe avert serious problems down the road. www.spiffybaby.com

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