Talking the Talk

I see we have another racial and ignorant person in our midst once again. The fact that this may be true is besides the point, why is it that certain people feel that they must degrade black people or people of ethnicity at any available point under frequent circumstance. I am not black myself but the comment Computethis has posted does not pertain at all to the above article. Another thing though, chimpout.com sounds to me as if it looks like a racial website which targets black people specifically; so if you would like truely factual information, and not some KKK inspired blasphemy, then try the national health website or the WHO website.
Now back to the main point, although children should not engage in sexual intercourse they must be aware of the social and psychological ramifications of having intercourse at an early age. While I do agree it is difficult to speak with a child, who thinks they are ready and know what intercourse entails, they are not. Having said this you must respect the prepubescent and pubescent ego and understand that the majority of their eagerness to have sex comes from hormones but also from a lack of inexperience and the natural human instinct to adapt and learn from new, undiscovered and untested experiences. With this in mind you must let your child talk as well, have them tell you what they feel and what they think they know and you will find this a much more efficient and through this you will facilitate the difficulty and burden placed on yourself.

It is disgusting to hear comments like "care about your daughter? keep her away from black boys" (the one below)...it is for this reason that racism is alive and well today. I'm not gonna argue about African-Americans and whether they bring more AIDs into the US, but I thought that that comment merited a response. If you cared about your kids you would not say things like "care about your daughter? keep her away from black boys" you are only teaching them enmity and breeding hatred in an already corrupt world.

Well, let's see. I've taught sexuality as a 9 week course to 8th graders for 22 years. What have I found that can enilighten and enliven the discussion. (I am a person whose parents never had the talk nor did the schools have any adequate information.) Young people want to know, but generally, they want to be spoken to respectfully, sentively, delicately. They don't want baggage from the failed 'sexual revolution' which has given us rampant disease (yes, it is an empidemic of STDs among teens), death (from your choice of sources related to the negative consequences of sexual activity), divorce (study the data regarding bonding and too early, too frequent sexual contact) and the demise of masculinity ( and I'm a feminist). They want to be able to be someone special to someone special. I usaully catch them at the time in their lives when they are most vulnerable to pressure to give in. 8th grade girls are vulnerable to giving up their virginity out of desperation for a relationship or because b/c of their close peer group or b/c of a case of father-hunger (seeking daddy's attention from another source if not found in a close, warm, affectionate and appropriate relationship with a father-figure). 8th grade boys are most vulnerable to the nasty influences of pornography which sets them up to believe that a sexual relationship is for immediate personal gratification. What is required in 'sex eduation' has to go way beyond the plumbing and physical processes to explore the intense emotional power that is supposed to go along with sexual intimacy. In just teaching plumbing most 'programs' that try to help parents fall flat on their faces b/c they lack both the content and the means to treat the subject and the child w/ the respect and dignity that is required. Relationship is the most importnat aspect of teaching sexuality to young people - not a single day, not a single teacher, not a single talk. A whole conversation about all of the related topics - when do I want to get married? what is the purpose of dating in the early teens? how would it feel to get an incurable STD? how would it feel to have flash-backs to all your sexual partners on the night of your honeymoon? what if the person who I want to get married to tells me s/he didn't wait and I did? etc. etc. These are the types of questions that make for very powerful discussions. In my program, the parents not only sign every single information sheet and assignment, they do parts of 50% of the assignments with their children. AND, anything a parent objects to, I will throw out (for their child) no questions asked. And I'm not telling anyone my religion or my political party. . .and I bet ya can't guess! :)

I think you guys also are putting too many people in one group. I know I can control myself. I think parents know for the most part know who their kids are. Maybe not though, I'm very open with my parents. Some kids can control themselves, some even better than certain adults. I don't agree completely with what bdmom said but the one part where she said "We're not going to be perfectly successful, and our kids need to know they're loved no matter what...", I think thats the right idea.

I don't think this article is implying that all 11 year old children are having sex or that parents shouldn't give their children moral guidance. But the fact of the matter is, whether you give your children moral guidance or not, they will make their own decisions and sometimes they will decide to have sex. As horrifying as it is to picture your young son or daughter having oral sex or even intercourse, it absolutely will happen at some time or another. It is up to you as a parent to not only share with them and guide them in your own beliefs but to accept the fact that they may not always follow your wishes. In this case it is so important that your child be informed about SAFE sex practices. Whether your child decides to have sex at age 11 or at age 22, issues such as pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases will always be prevelant. This article is not condoning sex amongst young adults at all, but it is addressing the fact that whether parents talk to their children or not, they will still have sex and they will be more likely to be unsafe.

who is this person saying caramel colored kids bet he have and dont know it,

Maybe scare tactics can work too for some? How about warning young people how STDs such as HPV (apparently very common, even among teens) can be spread even through oral sex, which could later lead to throat/oral cancer? Check out pages 2 and 3 of this 4-page article from Reader's Digest August 2008: http://www.rd.com/living-healthy/oral-cancer-caused-by-hpv/article86868.html. Scary stuff! Has anyone read this article about HPV and condom use, a study published in the New England Journal of Medicine, covered here: http://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=2102991 ; also, one critcism of the article at: http://www.lifesitenews.com/ldn/2006/jun/06063009.html

What, you expect people to just turn off their religion for you? Nobody expects homosexuals to apologize for their lifestyle, but religious people are expected to just forget about the largest single factor in determining their virtues when discussing such important issues? That is a tactic for the bastardization of their opinions, and it's evil - and you don't have to agree that it's evil because it's anti-religious, but because it's anti-American. Yea, welcome the New America, where the First Amendment has become biased. Christians believe that God has given us a guideline of chastity for our own happiness and well-being, and that world is compromising with its lower expectations. That's a perfectly legitimate viewpoint, especially in the light of comments about how it's not so easy anymore to be chaste and wait until marriage. We're all in agreement there; it's REALLY DIFFICULT be chaste and virtuous in the world today. But it will always be worth it. Always.

What kind of sick racists are you? God created us ALL in His image. Why on earth are so threatened by people who are different? If you happened to be born in Africa, tyou'd be a minority, and he residents would probably consider YOU ugly. As it is, you are completely HIDEOUS inside. How can you look in a mirror??? God oves ALL his children.

I think many mixed race people are gorgeous1

Exactly birdman77! Excellent advice. It is the same reason that homosexual whites will not join with downlow blacks. AIDS in the black community is RAMPANT, along with all other types of sexually transmitted diseases. It's best to just stay away from them completely.

We need to stop assuming kids cannot control themselves and thell them that they can, and that we expect them too. Then back it up with adult supervision. My kids will not be spending time at homes without parents.

Although I consider myself a conservative Christian, I've been talking with my 11 and 12 year old kids about sex for quite a while, in age appropriate ways. Having one "talk" just isn't sufficient. Sex is a complicated subject. We talk about self-respect, respect for others, how sex is a wonderful gift given for pleasure during the right circumstances. My daughter understands that it can have terrible consequences when misused, from STDs to unplanned pregnancy to emotional pain, My son understands that women are not objects for his gratification, and that one "oops" can result in 18 years of financial obligaton for a child that he will probably have little influence in raising, or worse, sucked down a drain before he or she has a chance at life.

Let's all stop pretending that kids this age are able to make rational decisions--they're not. The area of the brain that controls judgment doesn't even finish developing until young adulthood.l That's why God gave them PARENTS. That's wjy we're legally responsible for them. We're not going to be perfectly successful, and our kids need to know they're loved no matter what, but we need to set a high standard for them to live up to. Many more will than the general public thinks!

care about your daughter? keep her away from black boys. chimpoutdotcom

There is some good discussion here, but way too much name calling. I think most reasonable people would agree that kids, especially under say, age 16, are in no way prepared for the physical, emotional, social, and spiritual consequences of sexual behavior. They are far too immature to handle the pain of rejection after such an intimate act, much less the social consequences of the other party blabbing the details all over school... (Think back, adults--are you even close to the same person now that you were as a young, or even an older teen???) They are in no way reliable enough to use contraception well or consistently. (And even if they do--all forms of contraception fail, and condoms break!j)

They should not be unsupervised--period. (Most teenage pregnancies occur between 3-6 pm while parents are still at work.) I keep reading people saying it is naive to think kids can control themselves, but just a generation or so most (not all, of course) kids did. Parents supervised and had high expectations. There were extreme social consequences for kids who violated the restrictions (although arguably too extreme). To me, it seems infinitely more naive to think that a young teen can handle such adult situations without emotional, and often physical damage.

Many people seem to think that education will prevent these problems, but that is patently untrue. Education does not prepare an emotional young person for the pain that often accopanies "recreational" sex. My most sophisticated and educated best friend got pregnant twice and had two abortions during high school and college, once using a diaphragm, and once while on the pill. She also got chlamydia, then in medical school she got herpes. And this was a young woman who was careful! Even in her late teens and early 20's, she suffered tremendously from her "choices." She was pretty messed up, had two failed engagements, married, and divorced, last I heard (we lost touch for other reasons). On the other hand, my college roommate who was a virgin when she married and married a virgin still has the best sex life of anyone I know (married 18 years now).

completely agree with thedcf . People use religeon as a shield. Reality is, these things are here whether they like it or not.

Maybe we can start by telling our kids to stay within their own race, or at least when it comes to miscegenation with blacks.

http://thecoupmagazine.blogspot.com/2008/03/std-infection-rates-high-among-black.html

I think many people here are being very close-minded. Me, I'm 16 too (and seeing how religion is a front here, I'm atheist). Maybe I haven't seen all of the stuff you adults have but I know one thing for sure, different things work for different people. I think people who are religious are great, they seem happier than most other non religious people. People really shouldn't try to destroy peoples faiths in my opinion because for many its what gives them hope. I mean why destroy others hope just because one has none? Seems...well kind of cruel.
And for all the religious people here, you should not try to impose your religious beliefs on others. Let them find their own path or whatever right? You aren't saving anyone by making them angry.
But on the subject of sex I don't understand why many religions have problems with masturbation. I would think they would encourage it as an alternative instead of sex in general. In my opinion, children should know that there are possible consequences to sex. If you are not religious you present them with all of the facts and statistics and show them how if something comes up, be protected. Religious people really should do the same, and also realize how I-waited-til-marriage is a more difficult title to obtain in today's society. And I guess you could use the classic enternal-banishment-to-hell card, although I think its a little ridiculous you need to scare someone not to do something. But like I mentioned earlier different things work for different people.