Talking the Talk

honestly, if teens want to have sex, they will. i'm 15 years old and i have not had sex yet but that is because i know that i'm not ready. my parents never talked to me about sex and i am very happy about that. if i want to know about sex then i'll go ask one of my friends. ts weird for your parents to talk to you about it but its not weird for your friends to talk about it because everyone knows that sex is all most normal teenagers think about, especially guys. if i want to have sex then i'll be able to find someone easily. we know you're supposed to be in love but thats the thing with teenagers, they always think they're in love. if my parents had had the talk with me i'd probably go out and have sex just because my parents said not to. i know thats wrong but its the truth. and if my parents showed me how to use a condom?? no, i'd rather learn it from my health teacher. imagine if you were walking, you saw a couple making out and one of your parents said "are you sexually active??" i'd be mortified! and look for the nearest exit and run. i dont want to tell my parents about that. parents, the best thing you can do for your child is not to talk to them about sex but its to teach them how to be responsible and not give in to peer pressure, we are people too and we make our own decisions and if we want to have sex, we will, it doesnt matter if you tell us we should wait or not, if we feel we are ready we will have sex.

My daughter got pregnant at 14 years old. She is from a loving, christian, 2 parent household, and had discussed sex in depth with both parents. I had talked to her IN DEPTH about asking me prior to having sex about birth control and condoms. When we talked after finding out she was pregnant she told me that she was too emberressed to ask me or let me know that they had decided to have sex. In addition to everything mentioned in this article I would also add to let your kids know where to get condoms if they need. (Free from the local health department) I get very tired of articles trying to portray teen parents/sexually active teens as having come from bad home enviroments. And parents need to realise that ALL kids can be sexually active, regardless of income, household status, or religion.

This is to teen_heartbreak:
If you go ask you friends, or better yet your peers about sex, they won't be able to give you a correct answer anyways. You guys are like 15 and no matter how much you consider yourself grown up, the bottom-line is that you don't even have the experience in the society or the real world. That is why adults (not all, but the right ones) can give you very useful insights about these things. They have a clear picture on how it's like, some might have made a mistake during their teenage years and some might seen too much and know what their talking about. That is why I completely disagree with what you said about going to ask for you friend for suggestions. A majority of teenagers end up having sex and either end up having an abortion or simply messing up their bright future is because they listened to their so-called friends or peers who knows nothing about life... yet. I can understand how you might find it weird if your parents come up to you and talk about sex. But at least it's better getting an advice based on experience perspective then from a ignorant perspective. This world is not going to be easy if you go walk around being such a half-ass. Especially for girls, if you make a wrong choice during your teenage years, the consequences are always there. It's just the matter how long does it show up. By that time, you can never turn turn the clock around of all those years you wasted because you listened to your so-called friends back then.

Facinating how this intellectual wants us to help our children by placing a condom on a cucumber yet doesn't go into the Pro and con discussion referenced in item #5. As a parent of a 18year Old college sophmore daughter and 17 year old high school Senior boy, who are both virgins, I thought I would tell all that my childrens decisions were not influenced by practicing birth control on vegetables and fruit.
Discussions with them center around the choices we make and the ramifications of those choices.
Defined: The sex act is an adult act... Are you my adolecent child prepared for the following:
1. Becoming pregnant or becoming a father
2. Prepared to contact or transmit a disease that has the propensity to be fatal
3. Prepared to accept the emotional resposibility of the sex act
If you can answer any of these questions with a yes... You are ready!
My children and I have had numerous discussions regarding sex plus a number of other topics. They are well adjusted, successful in school, and still virgins... Both the boy and girl! Hope i have been of some help.

also, people dont have values anymore. it doesnt matter to ppl how many times or how many other partners they have had. I think that that is slutty. i am 17 years old and i know beter than that. that is disgusting. they have no values, and they aren't worth anything after that. and it is a shame.

im a 16 yr old girl and parents who think that their kids arent sexually "aware" at age 11 are BLIND!
and yes, your 14 year old likes going to her boyfriends house to have sex, not to just "chill"
and as for the sons...they are more pressuring than ever! where are the parents?!
these tips are really good...dont be an idiot, TALK to your kid....use humor and be serious when youre making a point

This article leaves out half of the children in question, whom parents might be concerned about....the boys!!! "You know you don't want you ninth grader getting pregnant." What about your other ninth grader who might get someone pregnant? "How do you feel about your daughter going steady or dating several boys casually?" Um, last time I checked, the other way around happens too! "It may not be obvious to your teenage daughter that she can suggest going to the movies or a restaurant instead of lounging with her boyfriend on a sofa without adult supervision." Haha...because we know it's only boys that want to have sex and only girls who would want to get themselves out of an intimate situation.

I was shocked that they actually mentioned boys in the eighth point.

We needs to move past these out of date assumptions about sexuality. Girls get turned on too, and may even instigate. Boys may want to wait but feel pressured by their peers and even their families that they should be having sex.

Also, parents should address the issue of consent and sexual assault/rape with their children. Let them know that it is never okay to touch a person who says they don't want to, even if you think they are just "playing hard to get." And let them know that they should never put up with physical or verbal sexual attention that is unwelcome.

I'm from the UK - which has the highest rates of child + teenage pregnancy in Europe. The sex education is probably similar to America, very basic, brief and focuses on the biology of the act of sex more than actual relationships and finishes at the age of 12, leaving kids thinking about sex at 14-18, with little or no further adult guidance. In the Netherlands, they talk about sex and relationships from the age of four until kids leave school, including respect for all sorts of lifestyle choice such as abstinence and homosexuality, the kids practice putting condoms on dildos, discuss contraception and even go on class trips to sex shops and discuss sex with a frankness that staggers a lot of British people and would probably shock most mainstream Americans.

But they also have the lowest rate of child + teenage pregnancy in Europe.

I'm going to teach Biology soon and I will be taking kids for Sex Education classes. I think I would prefer to be as honest and open as possible in the Dutch way than tell kids how to have sex and say nothing about the context that they are having it in. You can't argue with the statistics.

Yeah! There's nothing better than sensational "journalism" to give you parenting advice. Newsweek knows how to "parent".

I REALLY disagree with the part about the mother showing his kid how to put a condom on a cucumber. Its a makeshift penis. Imagine (guy or girl) back at 12 or so and thinking of your mom putting a condom on a representation of a PENIS. Something your dad used repeatedly please her and make her moan and act like a pornstar basically. Not how a kid wants to picture there mom. That could cause need for therapy. Don't even get me started on if a dad demonstrated that O_o

I think that if they can afford it, and they are not going to be feeding off the government and put their kids in slummy schools and homes than fine. Too many minorities feel that they HAVE to have babies. I guess it makes them feel more like a 'woman' even if they cannot afford to bring children up in the world properly. Idiots.