What Old Age Taught Me
Now in my golden years, I've learned that you can't know how to live until you know how to give.
"Grow old along with me!/The best is yet to be,/ The last of life, for which the first was made." The poet Robert Browning wrote that when he was young. I am old and better qualified to vouch for the truth of those words. Old age, if you're lucky enough to reach it, is a unique experience in life. You have to find the key to dealing with old age.
One way is to not hesitate to laugh at yourself. I am almost 92 years old. When I tell people that I'm "living on the house's money," they laugh, and then I add, "I don't buy green bananas, they take too long to ripen." Humor helps longevity.
Years ago I was at the bedside of my dying mother, an illiterate Russian peasant. Terrified, I held her hand. She opened her eyes and looked at me. The last thing she said to me was "Don't be afraid, son, it happens to everyone." As I got older, I became comforted by those words. Death happens to everyone. But I always thought death happens to everyone else.
As you get older you lose so many friends, you feel lonely, you get depressed. Depression is the greatest obstacle of old age. In my case, a deep depression set in when I had a stroke 12 years ago and my speech was affected. The thought that I would never make another movie echoed in my brain. I was constantly beset with passivity. I just wanted to lie in bed and do nothing. Fortunately, my wife believes in tough love. When I lay there feeling sorry for myself, Anne would say, "Get your ass out of bed and work on your speech therapy." That helped.
Depression is caused by thinking too much about yourself. Try to think of others, try to help them. You will be amazed how that lessens your depression. That satisfaction is priceless.
The ticking of a clock makes you aware of and appreciate the time you have with your children and grandchildren. You wonder how they will deal with the problems they face after you are gone. You want to do what you can to make it easier for them and for younger generations.
My wife and I just finished our campaign to build 400 safe playgrounds for the children of Los Angeles. This was sorely needed to replace the decrepit and dangerous play apparatuses that existed. We attended every inauguration—400 of them. It was gratifying to see the happy, smiling faces of our growing citizens.
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Member Comments
Posted By: Helgerquest @ 08/12/2008 11:14:26 PM
Comment: Though I congratulate you on struggling through a healing journey after suffering from a stroke, I need to tell you that depression, in the truest, most clinical sense of the meaning, is not caused by thinking too much about one's self. As a person diagnosed with Major Depression, I know that depression is more than feeling blue about one's self and life. Depression is caused by an imbalance in the chemistry in the brain. Some can function enough to still work and lead a pretty normal life, and are easily controled by medication, others are disabled, even on medication. There is nothing more I would like to do than to contribute to my community and world, have a good job or career and be able to contribute to my American dream family, but with Major depression and PTSD, I just cannot maintain that level of "normalcy", and that is what I think about. I cannot donate money to any big progjects or a whole lot of good causes because a $670 disability check doesn't even pay for a month's rent anymore. I wish I could do what you can and have done in your life. Maybe it wouldn't cure me but I think it would do a whole lot of good for my self esteem and confidence level. Keep giving. You will be alive beyond your life for giving to others, and helping them live their lives a bit easier at the same time.
Posted By: ZakAlly @ 08/08/2008 11:20:33 AM
Comment: Mr. Douglas, we salute you. You are more a hero than you make yourself out to be. Like Spartacus, you have got back onto your feet after life's setback, dusted off your clothes and continue to forge ahead, despite your advanced age. We are truly proud to have had our screens embellished with heroes such as yourself. In an age when celebrities are no more than icons of flashy existence, you continue to give of yourself and enrich the lives of others. We truly salute you and wish you and Anne a long and enjoyable voyage ahead. Zaakir Ally (Erasmia, South Africa)
Posted By: ZakAlly @ 08/08/2008 11:14:36 AM
Comment: Mr. Douglas, we salute you. You are more of a hero than you believe yourself to be. Like Spartacus, you have got back onto your feet, after life's setback, dusted off your clothes and continue to forge ahead, despite your advanced age. In an age when most celebrities think only of themselves, you think of others. May you continue to enjoy the rest of your life and may you have a long and enjoyable one. Zak Ally (Erasmia, South Africa)