The 'Other' Talk

In the next few weeks, parents of college freshmen will be helping their kids pack up all those seemingly indispensable items for dorm life. Sending a child off for what is probably his or her first extended period of independence is scary, and many parents try to cram in last-minute bits of advice. Here's one more: talk about drinking. This is a critical conversation whether you have a son or a daughter, but it's especially important for young women to understand the ways in which they risk both short-term and lifelong health problems if they abuse alcohol during these years.

First, a reality check. Laws against underage drinking don't stop kids who really want to drink. Colleges around the country have made efforts to crack down at on-campus functions, but it isn't easy when fake IDs are just a scanner away. So don't count on fear of the law to do your work for you.

Of course, this isn't a problem that begins when your daughter leaves home. About 39 percent of ninth-grade girls have had a drink in the last month, according to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism. But even if your daughter has abstained until this point, and even if you've talked to her before about drinking, she will be facing extra pressures as she tries to make friends and get on top of classes in her new home. If there is a family history of alcoholism, she's at even greater risk.

Many parents find it hard to bring up the subject of drinking without sounding like they're giving a lecture. Experts suggest looking for opportune moments. You could be watching a TV program together that includes drinking scenes, or your daughter might tell you about a party she went to. Ask open-ended questions that will encourage her to open up about what she is thinking or feeling, not just questions with a "yes" or "no" answer. Some talking points to consider:

1. Not One of the Boys
A little girl growing up today can reasonably aspire to just about any profession, but there is one way in which she will never be equal to a boy, and that is the way her body processes alcohol. For example, if two people, of opposite genders, but equal weight,  drink the same amount and type of alcohol, the woman will get drunker and stay that way longer.  Alcohol is processed through the digestive tract and is diluted by the water in our bodies. Because women have proportionately less water in their bodies than men, the alcohol they drink is less dilute for them. Women's bodies also produce less alcohol dehydrogenase (ADH)--the molecule responsible for breaking alcohol down so that the body can eliminate it.

Researchers estimate that a young woman who matches her male classmate drink for drink is actually experiencing twice the impact of the alcohol and its toxic byproducts. It is for this reason that federal guidelines define moderate drinking as no more than one drink a day for adult women and no more than two drinks a day for adult men. The official definition of a standard drink is one 12-ounce bottle of beer or wine cooler, one five-ounce glass of wine or 1.5 ounces of 80-proof distilled spirits.