The 'Other' Talk

Five reasons you should discuss the perils of drinking with your college-bound daughter (and how to start the conversation).

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  • Posted By: formerflautist @ 08/08/2008 2:10:56 PM

    How about having "The Other Talk" with your sons? How about you teach your sons to recognize that drunk woman is not in need of sex but in need of a friend to make sure she's okay? How about teaching your sons about respect? Women have been bombarded with messages about how what THEY need to do to prevent sexual assault. How about telling men what they need to do to prevent sexual assault? Bad article, Newsweek and shame on you for posting it.

    • Posted By: sanewoman1 @ 12/12/2008 5:30:03 PM

      The article is not bad simply because it chose to focus on women. One article can't cover everyone nor is it supposed to. Also, do you really thiink men need an article to know how to prevent sexual assault? You said that sons need to learn respect? How about teaching women about self-respect and reminding them that they will neither gain respect nor have the right to demand respect from anyone when they are drunk and acting like fools.

    • Posted By: sanewoman1 @ 12/12/2008 5:29:33 PM

      The article is not bad simply because it chose to focus on women. One article can't cover everyone nor is it supposed to. Also, do you really thiink men need an article to know how to prevent sexual assault? You said that sons need to learn respect? How about teaching women about self-respect and reminding them that they will neither gain respect nor have the right to demand respect from anyone when they are drunk and acting like fools.

  • Posted By: SFreader @ 08/08/2008 3:27:50 PM

    I agree with all the commenters I have never ONCE heard of anyone discussing what boys need to do you prevent date rape. Are we truly to believe that they are incapable of NOT committing sex crimes?? If they are why don't we put more restrictions on their movements around campus. I mean really.

    • Posted By: locust456 @ 08/11/2008 4:23:34 PM

      Campuses are the problem. In Europe there are no dorms, students commute from home to the college and there are none of these problems.
      Dorms are a big problem here in the USA and colleges know of it but continue because they have ulterior motives, like beer companies sponsoring frat parties, sale of STD meds and sale of condoms, it's a commercial venue that the liberal colleges foster to earn a revenue while at the same time getting kids drunk and sick. (source: Dr. Dobson)

  • Posted By: skinnyminny2 @ 08/10/2008 10:19:00 AM

    It's probably better to set a healthy example throughout a young adult's life than have one 'talk'. Sure, talking is important but it won't matter unless healthy choices have been practiced for a long time already.

  • Posted By: techresmgt @ 08/09/2008 11:49:28 AM

    Yep, let's focus on women, their daughters another 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Why are 'mothers' not more involved in their SONS lives? All we ever hear about, ad naseum, is women and her daughter. This sexist and gender biased display is not only tiresome, it is now ineffective. Don't believe me? Watch TV commercials carefully. Nine out of ten will feature many more women than men and many more daughters than sons. The 'wussification of men' in America continues.

  • Posted By: biggreener @ 08/08/2008 5:51:42 PM

    This is a horribly researched and written article, not to mention sexist by its very nature. You mistake coincidence for causality ??? i.e.binge drinking behavior itself does not lead to being date raped. Thanks to the prudishness of American society, there is little awareness out there about what constitutes consensual sex. When a girl is binge drinking, by definition the sex will not be consensual in many states. While I applaud discussions between daughters and parents concerning drinking in a healthy and balance way (it does exist! see: Europe), I think there is more of an onus on parents to talk about safe drinking, safe sex and respecting women, especially given popular culture's proclivities to undermine all three.

  • Posted By: Erica84 @ 08/08/2008 5:47:33 PM

    @President Supporter: I think you're missing the point. The point is parents should be keeping on their sons to respect women since day one. Not "if you suspect your son's a rapist, you should say something". If parents were as vigilant about making their sons aware of this as their daughters, that too will help curb these problems.
    It should be brought up to both boys and girls what could happen with both rape and alcohol. It's not a one-gendered problem.
    Trying to rationalize otherwise is a cop out.

  • Posted By: formerflautist @ 08/08/2008 4:26:15 PM

    "Most rapists were abused by a parent or someone in a position of trust." Please cite your source for this comment. Male on female rape prevention should be about raising your sons to respect women and being aware of THEIR behavior. Not all rapists are drunk and violent. And not all rapes occur when alcohol is involved. It can't be all about changing a situation, it has to be about changing attitudes.

  • Posted By: PresidentSupporter @ 08/08/2008 4:03:35 PM

    Most rapists were abused by a parent or someone in a position of trust. That's part of the reason they turn into monsters. What makes you all think those people are capable of talking the future rapists out of their behavior?

    I'm not discounting the idea many of your posts state that something needs to be done about preventing rapists from their monstrosities, but seriously, how many rapists do you think let their families know of their behavior? Maybe we need to teach our sons to be on the lookout for potentially violent drunk males at parties and do everything they can to diffuse them before they attack someone.

    No matter what we do, there will always be rapists out there. It's good to keep letting daughters, mothers, and every woman know what they can do to keep it from happening to them.

  • Posted By: corwin27 @ 08/08/2008 3:12:07 PM

    aieeee, maybe one of the male commenters can write the article about the problem with male drinkers. Thanks for the article. I appreciate its focus.

  • Posted By: SFreader @ 08/08/2008 2:48:37 PM

    I agree with all the commenters I have never ONCE heard of anyone discussing what boys need to do you prevent date rape. Are we truly to believe that they are incapable of NOT committing sex crimes?? If they are why don't we put more restrictions on their movements around campus. I mean really.

  • Posted By: kelsmith @ 08/08/2008 2:47:05 PM

    Congratulations, Newsweek. You've done a superb job highlighting the dangers inherent in DWF (Drinking While Female).

    There are indeed important differences in the ways in which men's and women's bodies synthesize alcohol, and these differences may well make young women get drunk faster or have other health consequences. But you've failed, as other commenters have indignantly noted, to address the importance of having conversations about responsible drinking and decision-making with sons. By suggesting that having "the 'other' talk" may protect our daughters, you've only underscored how much the onus is still on girls, sadly, to avoid becoming victims. I find this approach irresponsible and disappointing.

  • Posted By: KittenFluff @ 08/08/2008 2:38:28 PM

    Re: #2: Seriously, can we stop holding women responsible for rape prevention? Yes, personal responsibility and risk awareness are important, but ONLY MEN CAN STOP male-on-female RAPE. Only when we stop ghettoizing sexual assault as a women's issue will it end. Sexual assault prevention is a conversation that needs to occur with our SONS, not our daughters.

  • Posted By: disenchantedgrl @ 08/08/2008 2:02:58 PM

    Newsweek come up with an article for sons. When I went to college which was coed I saw problems with both genders when it came to drinking.

  • Posted By: disenchantedgrl @ 08/08/2008 2:01:50 PM

    Newsweek come up with an article for sons. When I went to college which was coed I saw problems with both genders when it came to drinking.

  • Posted By: sash @ 08/07/2008 7:17:19 PM

    i was a resident advisor at a well-known school (at least for it's drinking) and i have a couple of things to add:
    1. if you take hormonal birth control (the pill) you WILL get drunker faster than you did before for the aforementioned resasons
    2. antiacids such as tums or pepcid will do the same thing.

    Remember that alcohol is a drug that you will mix with anything else you take (whether from a doctor or otherwise) so becareful.

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