Rethinking Fathers’ Rights

What do I do when my ex wife refuse our son to speak to me over the phone throughout the week . I only have visitation on Thursday & Friday so I have to go without speaking to him about his day for 5 consecutive days

Holly Collins' claims about her high-profile custody case are disputed by her own mother, grandmother, sister, brother, former in-laws, her ex-husband and his wife, numerous doctors, Guardians ad Litem, social workers, mental health professionals and all seven judges who have heard this case. Journalist Glenn Sacks has examined the other side of this case and found there are many problems with Holly Collins' version of events. Sacks' analysis of the court record can be found at http://glennsacks.com/blog/?p=3265

After 10 years plus, I have thought to myself, enough is enough. I have lost 2 children to an obsessive, pathological lying step grandmotther who not only stole my kids from me but her own step daughter so that she may have kids of her own. I have all court documents to prove it I am planning on a one man march to Austin, Texas' capital from south florida with nothing but a camcorder and pen and paper to document itself. If anyone, I mean anyone would like to assist me in my 1700 mile walk, please contaxt me at 772-260-9901 my name is Brian and my kids need me. Thanks

The best thing to do is seems to represent yourself. You can't do much worst than what the lawyers give you and it will save money. How? Go to a library and read what to do. Ask the reference desk person where to find stuff. Go to the courthouse and check out a file of a recent divorce and review and copy the pleadings. It is all public record. All lawyers do anyway is cut and paste pleadings (petitions, answers, ect.). Law libraries have manuals you can read.

I???m the father of amazing little girls that I share with my ex. When my ex and I were still married she was having an affair. Within a month of have our 2nd daughter she was back to her old ways. She would leave for work before the kids woke up and get home after they went to bed. I was a single father long before we separated. Then one day she moved out and left me and my two kid???s a 2 years old and a 7 month old. From before my youngest was born I was the one caring for the kids. I got them ready, I did the bed time stories, I dropped off and picked up from the day care, it was me and me alone. I was even the one that potty trained them and got them off binkies. And yet the court system gave HER custody because the kids were so young. We are now going on year 4 of a custody battle. She doesn???t want the kids; she just doesn???t want to lose.

There should be no default in family law. The child(ren) should not default to the mother or the father; it should be evaluated on a case-by-case basis where only proven facts are relevant. If the child is old enough to articulate preference, that should at least be taken into consideration.

???Why the desperation?

Because Vice President Sarah Palin would mean Americans could actually end up electing a woman president without tapping a manipulative, soulless, stay-married-just-to-stay-in-power socialist.

How dare the Republicans threaten to do that? Only the "progressive" party is supposed to be allowed to put the first articulate woman in line for the White House! Why, it's just like when the Republicans dared to put a conservative black man on the Supreme Court. It's so wrong!???----Vin Suprynowicz (Las Vegas Journal Review)

Here are just a few more of the outrageous statements that Richard Gardner, the so-called father of PAS junk-science theory, has written in his own books published by his own vanity press:

"Pertinent to my theory here is that pedophilia also serves procreative purposes. Obviously, it does not serve such purposes on the immediate level in that children cannot become pregnant nor can they make others pregnant."

When a child has been sexually abused and feels guilt about it, Gardner suggests, the child may be helped to appreciate that "sexual encounters between an adult and a child are not universally considered to be reprehensible acts. The child might be told about other societies in which such behavior was and is considered normal." If sexual urges continue after the abuse ends, Gardner suggests such children be encouraged to masturbate.

As for the alienating mother, Gardner suggests that vibrators can be useful and "one must try to overcome any inhibition she may have with regard to their use."
. . . . An apparent benefit of the mother's use of a vibrator is that "her diminished guilt over masturbation will make it easier for her to encourage the practice in her daughter, if this is warranted." With this imagined solution, Gardner believes, the mother's "increased sexuality may lessen the need for her husband to return to their daughter for sexual gratification."

All of the above quotes are from Gardner's self-published True and False Accusations of Child Sex Abuse: A Guide for Legal and Mental Health Professionals, Creative Therapeutics, 1992, as reprinted in Ralph Underwager's self-published journal "Issues in Child Abuse Accusations", Spring 1993, pp. 115-118, under the title "A Theory About the Variety of Human Sexual Behavior" and Richard A. Gardner, M.D. , The Parental Alienation Syndrome (1992).

There are so many mothers losing custody to their abusers that there is a national conference on it every year:

http://www.batteredmotherscustodyconference.org/

Many, many thousands are loosing custody to their batterers. Now how can that be good for the children, especially when the children witness the abuse??

I'll second that, MaMaBear1968.

Irresponsible reporting.

The facts are at our fingertips. It's pure opinion and propagates negative stereotypes of women while defending violent men. We ALL should be appalled.

IRRESPONSIBLE REPORTING

Under the list of things your batterer will say to you if you leave him or try to, #2 is "I'll tell the judge you're a bad mother; you'll lose custody of the kids." I used to think that was a threat.....5 months later I learned otherwise, and I'm not alone. There are literally thousands of mothers losing custody to their ex-abusers. NOT the "good" fathers who share EQUALLY parenting costs or cares. It's the dad's that want the mother out of their child's life to "pay her back" for leaving him. It's the abusive drunk ones who drink and drive with their kids, threaten their kids they will take away toys or pets. OH....and the #1 on the list of things your batterer will say to you is "If I can't have you, NO ONE WILL". Thankfully, I believed that one.

http://thoughtsongod.wordpress.com/2008/08/23/misuse-of-order-of-protection-mom-the-terminator/
Fathers have everything stacked against them. No evidence is needed to obtain an order of protection. No filing fees, no attorney, nothing other than the claim that ???I???m afraid.??? The father???s presence at the hearing is not required. A judgment can be issued against you with no opportunity to face your accuser. Your house can be taken away, your car, and your children can all be swept away in an instant. http://thoughtsongod.wordpress.com/2008/08/23/misuse-of-order-of-protection-mom-the-terminator/

http://thoughtsongod.wordpress.com/2008/08/23/misuse-of-order-of-protection-mom-the-terminator/
Fathers have much stacked against them. No evidence is needed to obtain an order of protection. No filing fees, no attorney, nothing other than the claim that ???I???m afraid.??? The father???s presence at the hearing is not required. A judgment can be issued against you with no opportunity to face your accuser. Your house can be taken away, your car, and your children can all be swept away in an instant. http://thoughtsongod.wordpress.com/2008/08/23/misuse-of-order-of-protection-mom-the-terminator/http://thoughtsongod.wordpress.com/2008/08/23/misuse-of-order-of-protection-mom-the-terminator/

What's wrong with family court is that batterers often gain custody of children. That's not a stereotype, that's the truth. The ABA says 25--50% of custody battles involve domestic violence. The American Judges Foundation says batterers are successful about 70% of the time. Moreover, when women allege abuse they are seen as vindictive liars (this article also propagates that myth). In fact Bala & Schuman (2000) found that men were more likely to falsely accuse.

While I have no doubt men also experience discrimination and bias, gender task forces often point to women being disadvantaged. Both genders have some legitimate gripes, but we must honestly work for the best interest of the children --and need truth to do so. Concerned men would be just as alarmed at batterers getting custody ---we must work together to ensure this doesn't happen.

I was glad to read this artical, and believe it or not, I read it in my lawyers office while waiting to discuss complications in my fight for custody of my three year old son. My wife of four years a 22 year old college student has decided that she didnt get to live life yet...and filed for divorce. although I was surprised by this, my focus was shifted to how to minimize the effects on our son. Immediatly she started to sell things including furniture out of our house to convince me to sign her divorce papers that I said I would not sign (as is) when this didnt work, she quit letting me see our son or talk to him on the phone. My lawyer was making some serious progress in getting me to be the temporay custodian of our son until the divorce decided custody. When her lawyer told her that this prospect was a possiblity she instantly filed a false emergancy protective order on me, taking away my right to see or talk to my son for a minimum of 14 days. in doing so she has also greatly decreased my chances of getting a status of primary resident cusotian of my son.
For the first time in my life I feel that the laws do not defend me, in the stead, I am guilty until proven guilty and the only proof she needs is that she "felt" threatened. no clearification or elaboration...I'm guilty of domestic abuse...abuse to a woman I have supported thru school, loved and cherished, a woman I have never raised an angry hand to...and the son I love more than anything in the world is left to be used as a weapon by the people who's wages we all pay. my frustration can in no way find its way to this comment, and I hope that their are enough good fathers, out there that will come together to change the laws to protect both the women that are truly being abused and the good loveing fathers from the women who use the system as a weapon a weapon that does not belong to them.

Thank you for listening to my rant...