Rethinking Fathers’ Rights

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  • Posted By: kenamaddox @ 08/11/2008 10:45:36 AM

    Thank You for this article. and to the last comment on the "Junk Science" of Parental alienation, I am the husband of an alienated wife and the co-founder of www.splitntwo.com. A PAS information and support org. and amoung the organizers of the dcfestival2008. We get contacted by mothers experiencing PA more than fathers. Parental Alienation, its not just for fathers anymore.

  • Posted By: Lenore101 @ 08/11/2008 8:33:08 AM

    As usually this article is all about parents rights and precious little about the rights of children. Counsellors could easily tell from interviewing children who the primary caregiver is and award custody. Set up a review board and check the children???s progress after a year. Please stop whining about child support, especially since men make on average more then women, you???d be contributing more if you where still married. The money to used to benefit your children. By high school must of my friends came from divorced families, we all made our own choices of who to live with (mothers and grandparents). Yes the courts make decisions, but at 16 we make our own. I've seen a junkie mother get custody and an abusive father get custody, in the its up to the end the kid to chose.

  • Posted By: dv_mom @ 08/10/2008 11:51:43 AM

    If a father is abusive as was obviously the case with this man and many others (abuse is much more prevelant than most people think), the father should NOT be allowed to see the child(ren). Plain and simple, period end of discussion. And for those who say moms fake abuse, well many times abuse is hard to prove because men are not stupid, they are not going to abuse the woman in front of witnesses. Domestic violence, like sexual abuse, is America's dirty little secret, which means it is hidden. How do you prove a hidden crime?

    • Posted By: Esencia08 @ 08/11/2008 6:30:35 AM

      Well said DV mom, I agree with your position 100%. At one point in the history of the United States the physical abuse of women was legally acceptable. A Husband was allowed to beat his wife with a rod or stick no bigger than his thumb. Violence against women was and still is very prevalent in our society despite the enactment of the Violence Against Women Act. Batterer's intervention programs are only marginally effective at treating violent men in families. The comment made below denying and simultaneously blaming women for male violence and then trying to decontextualize the problem as not being gender-based is so ludicrious it sounds like a cult-like mantra dispensed as propoganda for father right's groups.

    • Posted By: teriincali @ 08/10/2008 10:21:55 PM

      Half of all domestic violence is mutual. Both parents are equally guilty. In the other half, WOMEN are the perpetrators 70% of the time. This is not about gender. It's about due process in family court. 60-80% of allegations are false or unnecessary. Let these men prove their innocence (Don't arrest or give restraining orders without proof too.) And punish the lying women!

    • Posted By: kenyatteg @ 08/10/2008 12:05:43 PM

      Domestic Violence is as apart of Americas culture as any which is why it must be prevented, inwhich we do almost nothing in society to do so. A mom and dad who have problems getting along and raising a child have nothing to with one another. The child needs their mom and dad more then either parent needs revenge or self righteousness.

      Yes abuse is hard to prove but prepackaging every man as an abuser is as wrong as denying every woman the right to vote. We have rights in this nation and raising children is one of them. Hate has a place and its not in a nation requiring love.

      Not only have statistics proven most allegations are false but its these false allegations that get woman really being abused killed. We need to stop letting people play with the legal system shading the woman who are really at risk.

      Kenyatte

  • Posted By: joemaflage @ 08/10/2008 10:53:35 PM

    A change is coming as more parents are activley getting into elected political posittions including myself. You can not hide the real reasons for destroying our families when we make it a political issue as we run for many open seats.
    www.myspace.com/familyrights
    http://www.youtube.com/user/joemaflage
    It is time to repair the family unit the best we can and end the destrution caused thru a destructive system known as family court.

    • Posted By: Esencia08 @ 08/11/2008 1:20:52 AM

      If you are really concerned about the well-being of children then you would commit yourself to performing the following actions: 1) lobby congress to enact a comprehensive family leave bill which of course would benefit mostly women as it should, 2) Support the equal rights amendment (although I personally think its too late for that!), 3) Fight for equal pay for women (actually women should get paid more than men in the workplace since women need extra resources to care for children, disabled and the elderly), 4) Lobby for unpaid domestic workers (primarily women) to get social security credits toward their retirement. Hmm lets see, I can't think of anything else right now, but my point is that if you cannot work toward any of these noble causes on behalf of women that would enhance the quality of life for the children that women birth into society then you are merely promoting the interests of a group of self-serving men who are angry that they have to share power and privileges with women. Actually who said you were entitled to receive such privileges and power to begin with?

  • Posted By: joemaflage @ 08/10/2008 10:27:54 PM

    61% of all child abuse is committed by biological mothers
    25% of all child abuse is committed by natural fathers
    Statistical Source: Current DHHS report on nationwide Child Abuse


    79.6% of custodial mothers receive a support award
    29.9% of custodial fathers receive a support award

    46.9% of non-custodial mothers totally default on support
    26.9% of non-custodial fathers totally default on support

    20.0% of non-custodial mothers pay support at some level
    61.0% of non-custodial fathers pay support at some level

    66.2% of single custodial mothers work less than full-time
    10.2% of single custodial fathers work less than full-time

    7.0% of single custodial mothers work more than 44 hours weekly
    24.5% of single custodial fathers work more than 44 hours weekly

    46.2% of single custodial mothers receive public assistance
    20.8% of single custodial fathers receive public assistance
    Statistical Source: Technical Analysis Paper No. 42 - U.S. Dept. of Health & Human Services - Office of Income Security Policy


    90.2% of fathers with joint custody pay all the support due
    79.1% of fathers with visitation privileges pay all the support due
    44.5% of fathers with no visitation pay all the support due
    37.9% of fathers are denied any visitation
    66.0% of all support not paid by non-custodial fathers is due to inability to pay
    Statistical Source: 1988 Census "Child Support and Alimony: 1989 Series P-60, No. 173 p. 6-7. and U.S. General Accounting Office Report" GAO/HRD-92-39FS January, 1992
    www.myspace.com/familyrights

    http://www.youtube.com/user/joemaflage
    I am with you in the stats side of it Teri :) Get the facts if you want to persuade me becasue I have done the reaserch extensively . I havew aslo read much of Teris work and can tell you she is the real queen of equallity

  • Posted By: Esencia08 @ 08/10/2008 7:46:45 PM

    As a woman whose parents come from a matriarchal family and social system I am appalled to read a mainstream news article supporting fatherhood rights as some kind of sacred doctrine. The fact of the matter is that biological fatherhood does not give men right of owership over children. This is just a desperate backlash by a group of disgruntled men who believe that simply because women have given them the privilege of entering into marriage and sexual relations with them that they can continue to impose the western model of inherited patrilineal dominance over women and children after the marriage relationship has been dissolved. How many men neglect the basic needs of their so-called children by refusing to pay child support? Why are there millions of dollars owed in back child support across the United States? Why are there not enough programs to strengthen motherhood and to provide single mothers with the social and material support that they need to raise healthy offspring in the event of a divorce? The fact of the matter is that post-divorce many men do not want the responsibility of contributing to the well-being of children if they cannot be in CONTROL of the relationship and typically only seek custody to deprive the mother and child of the sacred and natural bond. Women are entitled to preserve the natural bond with their children and this is what contributes most to healthy psychological development in the child. Family courts need to recognize and honor this sacred mother right that has flourished across civilizations since time immemorial.

    • Posted By: teriincali @ 08/10/2008 10:16:18 PM

      research child support too. you've been hoodwinked again.

    • Posted By: teriincali @ 08/10/2008 10:14:20 PM

      you wrote: "This is just a desperate backlash by a group of disgruntled men who believe that simply because women have given them the privilege of entering into marriage and sexual relations with them that they can continue to impose the western model of inherited patrilineal dominance over women and children after the marriage relationship has been dissolved." Are you serious? privilege? who usually wants to get married? the women! you are just repeating the fake facts, myths and propaganda the feminists have used to flood the media. I suggest you read some new studies. the scientific ones, not the ones funded by feminists.

  • Posted By: joemaflage @ 08/10/2008 9:39:23 PM

    I agree we need the media to take the time to do articles on great fathers out there. We currently have a group of fathers riding bikes 758 miles from Lansing MI to DC for the family preservation rally august 15th and 16. They left Lansing this past thursday. www.cycling4children.com
    www.dcfestival2008.com
    www.epbt.org this link can track thier ride
    MY myspace page has alot of info and other links to find out more on the real issues that push parents to the breaking point. As the public becomes more aware of the incentives behind the destruction of our families for the states to profit I think you will see few parents commiting suicide over this injustice and actually going after the root cause.
    www.myspace.com/familyrights
    http://www.youtube.com/user/joemaflage
    Get all the info and get informed and if you want more I would be glad to send it to anyone who wants the facts. joemaflage@yahoo.com

    • Posted By: Esencia08 @ 08/10/2008 10:05:47 PM

      Joe, in order to preserve families we must revitalize marriage. Marriage as a social institution was invented by women and made sacred (hieros gamos) during the agricultural revolution in Europe as well as other parts of the globe. Therefore, marriage or better said "MATRIMONY" which means "mother-marriage" does not give men the right to control women and children. Marriage only became dominated by males during the patriarchal era in which men sought to control women's reproductive activities as they slowly eroded the ancient matriarchal system some 3,000-5,000 years go in core geographical regions like Western Europe and the Middle East. The problem that families are faced with today in a techonoligally advanced society where women are advancing at a rapid pace and male superiority is in decline is how men will adapt to shifting roles in society in the face of increasing economic insecurity. Father's rights groups are better off learning how to cooperate with women rather than continuing the warmongering mentality against them. Remember women have the advantage in nature in terms of sexual selection. Women do not have to marry in order to bear children and raise healthy families.

  • Posted By: joemaflage @ 08/10/2008 9:06:15 PM

    It is not about fathers rights. The system is also starting to rip mothers from children as well. We are in a system that profits from federal incentives to rip pur families apart. This is the largest violation of civil rights our country has ever been part of. The destruction of our families and selling of our children will continue as long as we keep the gender an issue for the government to profit off from. Ripping a fit, willing, and able parent away from thier child is a violation of natural and constitutional rights. We can not keep splitting the family tree in half and expect our way of life to flourish. Child support is more then making one parent and ATM it is the time you spend with your child that is true child support not how much money you make or pay. Tucking your children in at night, going to the park, Taking them hunting. that is real child support. I will aslo psot you the real stats of why we need to end single parent households and the cost they have on our children and society. The family courts should not be an adversarial situation especially without clear and convincing evidence. The courts, lawyers, and states profit in the adversary of ripping our families apart. Title IV-D of the social security act needs to be abolished.
    www.myspace.com/familyrights

    http://www.youtube.com/user/joemaflage

    • Posted By: Esencia08 @ 08/10/2008 9:45:17 PM

      Joe there is nothing wrong with single parent families. There is no one standard for a family system ok? Actually the best family system that exists is the extended family system because through a network of kinship its members can get its developmental needs met more adequately than in a "nuclear" family. The best thing that government can do to support families is support women as mothers and as breadwinners. Men also need to do this because it is in their best interests since little boys need maternal nurturance in order to grow up psychologically healthy. How many misogynistic males did not get enough breast milk as babies and were prematurely torn away from identification with the mother only to have serious relational problems with women as adults? Think about it.

  • Posted By: joemaflage @ 08/10/2008 9:12:35 PM

    "Every few years, some father who believes he's been wronged by the family court system grabs headlines and draws attention to the flawed ways in which we split up families. " This happens far more then every few years. Here is a link to check out to show some of the ones we have found. http://www.laryholland.com/serendipity/archives/454-Family-Court-is-a-Deadly-Business-Updated-6-30-2008.html

    www.myspace.com/familyrights
    http://www.youtube.com/user/joemaflage

  • Posted By: MandM'smom @ 08/10/2008 8:48:35 PM

    Finally a fair article written on the bias of America's so called "family" court. I was absolutely thrilled to read this, my husband being one of these "alternating-weekend-carpool dad's". The system can be so pro-mother that even in a case where a mother admits to having her 6 and 8 year old sons take half naked photographs of herself to display on her myspace, the mother can retain full custody and dad gets 26 visits a year. Oh yeah, and don't forget about maybe a few 5 day visits (not allowed to be consecutive) in the summer. Now could you imagine if a dad was having his young children (be it boys or girls) take provocative photos of himself? First he would be facing criminal charges and labeled a pedophile. But I guess for a mom to do this it's considered creative photography?

    The bottom line is children need both parents in their lives as much as possible if the parents are fit.

  • Posted By: Les Jobst @ 08/10/2008 8:28:59 PM

    When a father is driven by a system to take desperate measures to protect his rights and his children - the authorities take off the gloves and call ???Game ON???! The system stops at nothing to further minimize and extract the father from the lives of his children. On the flip side, if a Mother like Holly Collins did and she now boasts about her success of jamming up the father of her children for fourteen years (http://www.citypages.com/2008-07-30/news/battered-woman-becomes-american-refugee\-in-amsterdam/). Or the convicted killer Mary Winkler (http://news.aol.com/article/slain-ministers-wife-gets-custody-of/116933) who slaughtered her husband by shooting him in the back and took the children across states lines. She has her children back within 2 years and 5 months after doing that crime! They took essentially the same action as the Father???s did in this story - the authorities will only put their ???Game Face??? on and call their effort good enough! How pathetic is that?

    A Mother commit???s an international criminal act involving her children and she openly taunts society by celebrating annually her ???Gotcha Day??? to show off what she has been able to get away with for over fourteen years. What does the media do - it raises her up as if she is a Hero! A Father commit???s a criminal act involving his children - what does the media do? The media jumps in to demonize the man and depict him as a threat in an effort to elevate the on going manhunt to bring him in like a dog! Something is wrong with this picture!

    The real fact that should be dealt with here is that ???Sole Physical Custody??? is child abuse!! The Liberal???s have been able to elevate this attitude and abuse on our children for one reason only - they personally ???PROFIT??? from it!!!!!! This should be the focus of the media and the authorities not the aftermath of what the ???Divorce Industry??? leaves society to deal with.

    Les Jobst
    Andover, MN
    "Anyone who sees a father's positive role in a child's life as a threat, certainly has a agenda and children are not on it! Children deserve having equal access to both parents!"
    http://www.myspace.com/daddywhathashappenedtous

  • Posted By: rpostma2 @ 08/10/2008 7:05:41 PM

    Thank you Ms. Lithwick for the story...you are courageous to tell the true story, dispensing with the stereotypes. My son was taken from me and given to my ex-wife, who is currently in her seventh mental hospital (not to mention the bankruptcy, suicide attempts, domestic violence, et al.). How to explain these injustices? How to explain the disregard for a child's natural rights? Follow the money...custody is most often taken away from the parent who earns the most money, which guarantees the maximum amount of federal money flowing into the counties which process the most divorce/custody cases.
    R. Postma, loving dad
    rpostma2@charter.net

  • Posted By: pclemsc @ 08/10/2008 5:53:04 PM

    Ms. Lithwick missed one very important point. The federal gov't pays each state and it's courts MILLIONS for collecting child support from fathers. All the hype about domestic violence and unfitness to parent are red herrings which only serve as an excuse to separate the father from his children, in order to separate him from his money. All else, including the "best interests" of the children is ignored.
    Paul M. Clements
    DADD-SC

  • Posted By: teriincali @ 08/10/2008 5:43:45 PM

    more...

    VAWA allowed Shannon Phillips to illegally abduct Madison from California to Illinois. Her father Donald Tenn is devastated. He was her stay-at-home parent. "We were always together. I even watched Barney with her," he said, "My favorite thing was having her sit on my lap while I read books to her. It's so hard to be in this house without her."

    Donald and Shannon got along. They never had any instances of domestic violence. Shannon wanted Donald to move to Illinois with her. When he asked her to return to California so they could decide together, she refused.

    Donald knew the law was on his side. Move-aways are illegal in California. When he told Shannon that he was going to have Madison returned, she immediately filed false allegations against him.

    As time goes by, her allegations are getting worse. Donald has become an active leader in Families4Justice and Fathers4Justice. "I want Madison to know I did everything I could to get her back," he said.

    Shannon has enjoyed free legal aid, and free airfare, all thanks to VAWA. Donald has no free legal aid. He was able to get visitation in Illinois, and spent some precious time with Madison, once. Shannon illegally refused any other visits, and has been supported for it.

    "The roller coaster of emotions is hard," he said, "I can understand why some fathers give up trying to get custody, or even seeing their children. It's like nothing I've ever experienced." But Donald won't give up.

    Making sure Madison never forgets their closeness, Donald sends her packages in the mail. "Every time I'm shopping I see things she'd like, and I buy them. Little snacks, books, stickers...she loves stickers," he explains, "I send about 3 packages a week."

    The Violence Against Women Act is unconstitutional and full of misandry. The organizations that profit from it openly discriminate against men. They even have a network of feminist attorneys ready to fight any lawsuit brought by men to gain services.

    And now we have The National Domestic Violence Volunteer Attorney Network Act -- H.R. 6088 and S. 1515 -- recently introduced in Congress. This bill would authorize $55 million for volunteer lawyers to help victims of domestic violence.
    Let's be very clear. This would be for women. And many would use it to take children away from good fathers.

  • Posted By: teriincali @ 08/10/2008 5:39:23 PM

    Dahlia,

    THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!!!!! As far as I can remember, this is the best and most accurate article I've ever read about fathers rights in mainstream media. Please read this:

    The Truth About Equal Custody And VAWA

    By Teri Stoddard



    I've recently been misrepresented on Mothers United Against Domestic Violence. "Teri Stoddard, a woman who very strongly advocates mandatory joint custody." I have never advocated for mandatory joint custody.

    Every proposed equal custody or shared parenting bill I've read has had a section on neglectful, abusive and uninterested parents. No one in the family rights movement wants kids with abusers, of either gender. And we would never force a child on an uninterested parent.

    I am for equal parental rights, with equal physical and legal custody. I want this for all parents who desire it, and have not been found guilty of child abuse or neglect. This does not mean it's mandatory. This does not mean the kids have to spend equal time with each parent. Parents can write a parenting plan (which I offer free on Shared Parenting Works.)

    These plans should be flexible, and should change as the years go on. The only time parents would have to split the time exactly 50/50 would be if they can't agree on a plan. Most parents realize they need to take into account their work schedules, the child's school schedule, how close they live to each other, etc. Without the "winner take all" attitude of fighting for sole custody, parents are more willing to cooperate.

    I understand these women have been wronged, as have their children. But I stand by my belief that we should not have laws that hurt 95% of the population, just to help 5%. We can still help these women without taking rights away from all fathers.

    And that is exactly what we've done with the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA.) Mothers without abusive exes are now using false allegations to win sole custody of children. Recent studies show that 60 to 80% of all domestic violence allegations are unnecessary or false. The California Bar Association has even publicly stated they're concerned about this.

    VAWA allowed Sheila Fuith to illegally abduct Emily Hindle from the UK to the US. VAWA-funded attorneys and shelters helped this abusive and neglectful mother to hide her child for years while continuing to file false charges against Emily's dad Karl.

    Sheila recently admitted making up every single allegation. Was she punished? Does Karl have Emily back? No. In this case the U.S. State Department is included in the corruption and abuse of Emily's right to her father. If it weren't for the more than $400,000 Karl has spent investigating this, no one would have known. He still waits for justice, and his little girl.

    VAWA allowed Shannon Phillips to illegally abduct Madison from California to Illinois. Her father Donald Tenn is devastated. He was her stay-at-home parent. "We were always together. I even watched Barney with her,&qu

  • Posted By: planetaryg @ 08/10/2008 3:05:40 PM

    Kudos to Newsweek. On this it seems the media is finally beginning to reach reality. Yes there are many stories to be told. My own father got the same treatment in his divorce 42 years ago. I have been separated from both my daughters. The first was taken from me after I had her for 5 and 1/2 years. The zealots within Justice for Children (JFC) who repudiate Parental Alienation Syndrome and who are sexist (May2, 2007 Houston Chronicle or the www.justiceforchildren.org site) returned my daughter to the poisoned environment of the household of her mother. Today now 21 years of age she still cannot find the courage to reconnect with me, her father. And this problem is not unique to men. There are women I know who have been dealt the deaht card by similar processes. Why have we not heard these stories for so very mong? Answer: The money has just been too good. Just go to the American Bar Association (ABA( web site and see how yet even today its perpetrates against men and fathers with myth about domestic violence. I suggest going to www.mediaradar.org for more information about the Bar. May I suggest the reader avail Amy J L Baker's " Adult Children of Parental Alienation" and Dr. Stephen Baskerville's "Taken into Custody".

  • Posted By: planetaryg @ 08/10/2008 2:33:35 PM

    Kudos to Newsweek! Seems the media is starting to catch up to reality. My dad got the treatment when my parents divorced 42 years ago. I got worse treatment. I have lost both my daughters to a system that does not recognize systematic parental alienation. Zealouts in the form of Justice for Children (JFC) , Houston, Texas (May 2, 2007 Houston Chronicle Business sectionor go to www.justiceforchildren.org) destroyed my oldest daughter, because they repudiate the credibility of parental alienation syndrome and they are sexist. My daughter today after I had her for 5 1/2 years is now 21 and yet cannot talk to me because of the poisoned environment JFC returned her to. Yes, there are a lot of stories for many years waiting to be told about men and thier children. There are even a few similar stories where a mother has gotten the same treatment. Debra Root or Vanessa Stuckey and thier children in Texas, are among the victims. Not a great stretch of the imagination that the lawyering business and the media influence it buys has just been too good. Just check the ABA's web site and see the myth against men about domestic violence even today being perpetrated! I encourage the reader to check into this . Read Amy J L Baker's "Adult Children of Parental Alienation", Dr. Stpehen Baskerville's "Taken Into Custody" and go to www.mediaradar.org to see how myth continues perpetration.

  • Posted By: davidrusher@swbell.net @ 08/10/2008 12:36:59 PM

    The "man-pushed-until-he-snaps" image is not an attractive narrative to FR advocates. It is what happens in a day when fathers have fewer rights to be a part of society than the average black person did in 1940. The legitimate FR movement abhorrs violence, and also knows why some guys snap. America would do well to finally grant fathers the same right to be in the family as we have granted to women in the workplace.

  • Posted By: davidrusher@swbell.net @ 08/10/2008 12:34:47 PM

    The "man-pushed-until-he-snaps" image is not an attractive narrative to FR advocates. It is what happens in a day when fathers have fewer rights to be a part of society than the average black person did in 1940. The legitimate FR movement abhorrs violence, and also knows why some guys snap. America would do well to finally grant fathers the same right to be in the family as we have granted to women in the workplace. -- David R. Usher

  • Posted By: kenyatteg @ 08/10/2008 11:58:57 AM

    With 50/50 and close custody decisions and choices working all over the country it is completely unacceptable for a child to lose a parent replacing with a weekend babysitter. Divorce is a choice of 2 adults that no child should lose a parent over. Whether walking to see a parent one bedroom over or 1 town over that burden is the parents to pay, not parent.

    Great article just need to add in the solution now great kids are coming from 50/50 homes and FL passed the 1st 50/50 statewide law debunking the spin kids prefer to lose a parent to having 2 rooms, 2 tv's, 2 playstations and double the love.

    Kenyatte Hay
    Vice President
    Family and Childrens Equality

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