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7 REASONS PARIS SHOULD BE PRESIDENT

Ms. Hilton Goes to Washington

 

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Hillary Clinton, watch out: there might be a woman in the White House after all. Paris Hilton is now running for president of the United States of America. OK, not really. But after John McCain released an ad that compared Barack Obama to celebrities like Britney Spears and Ms. Hilton, Paris threw her hat into the ring, too. She put out her own political ad—it went viral so quickly that it's been watched by more than 5 million people. "I want America to know that I'm, like, totally ready to lead," the heiress says. That got us thinking: what would a Paris Hilton administration actually look like? Adam McKay, founder of the site FunnyOrDie.com, which put together the Paris video and is working on a followup, shared some of his ideas with NEWSWEEK's Ramin Setoodeh:

1. The White House would become the Pink House. "I think she'd do everything pink," McKay says. "It would be pink on the outside, pink carpets, pink furniture, pink jammies. The men on her staff would be cool with it—they'd be shirtless Chippendale types, with names like Leon."

2. 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue would become more Parisian in other ways. "Instead of a bowling alley in the basement of the White House, Paris would have a Pilates studio. And, oh, yeah, she'd have foam parties in the Oval Office for the White House staff and old girlfriends from boarding school."

3. Press conferences would be held red-carpet style. "She would answer all questions while walking and posing for a wall of photographers, and they'd be yelling out, 'Paris, look here! Paris, what about rumors of a trade embargo with North Korea!?' "

4. Of course, she'd answer other questions, too. "The first half of every conference would be about what she's wearing. Paris would realize that as president she would have to tone it down a little. She'd lean toward Prada."

5. Her vice president, Rihanna, would be ideal for handling difficult diplomatic situations. "What would happen is, Rihanna would step off the plane in fishnet stockings, music would blare, and whole countries would melt at the sight of her."

6. The president would handle many of her duties from Los Angeles. "It would be like Bush at the Crawford Ranch. She would be in L.A. more than she would in Washington, D.C."

7. And foreign diplomats would definitely want to party with Paris. "She would replace the cabins at Camp David with cabanas—and topless would be optional for all world leaders, which would be horrifying but very European."

© 2008

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Member Comments

  • Posted By: kadry15 @ 11/26/2008 2:00:41 PM

    Paris would do a better job then Bush. Hopefully she would legalize topfreedom for women like it is in NY & some other places . Before the 1930s topless men were also horrible in America & could get arrested in some places. America is conservative compared to Europe. Paris might even do better then Obama.

  • Posted By: StarRanger @ 09/26/2008 2:17:05 AM

    As I said before, judge a person by the team. McCain picks a former beauty queen whose foreign policy is she can see Russia from her back window. Wow!! Good start. At least Paris has traveled a good portion of Europe to make money. She might not have a political experience but at least business savvy to bring back the dollars the overseas bank are holding over our head. Unfortunately one business crusader is not enough, we need more or the foreign bank will own everything in short time. Where do you think Congress is going to get 700 billion when the treasury is empty? Foreign banks buying our bonds which has to be paid back with interest. At least, if Paris and team save anybody, it will be those that have money to pay it back. Wall Street bail out is nothing more than corporate welfare, yet we can not rebuild our nation or invest in education for the future. The proof of Paris success is counted in dollars produce; not lies, double talk and helping your buddies at public expense. Paris for me!

  • Posted By: shmoamerican @ 08/22/2008 5:50:51 PM

    The more I think about it; Paris Hilton would probably do a better job of running this country than the 2 idiots who are currently running. At least she would be willing to talk about the issues; unlike Obama and McCain who lie about everything and talk around the issues. Like all politicians McCain and Obama wouldn't know the truth if they stepped in it and it was all over the bottom of their shoes. PARIS FOR PREZ!!!

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