Why I Am Leaving Guyland

Well now,
It's nice to read the male-bashing in some of these replies. Ladies (& some not), if you think it's cute & funny, even just a little. That's a problem. Many men & women grow old, & die alone because of the accepted sub-culture of male-bashing. Still funny? If yes, tell the cabbage club I said "Hi."
The one point I can't believe the author missed. Is the sky high divorce rate nowadays. I've seen cited divorce rates of up to 75%. In Vegas, they call that a "Sucker's bet." That high failure rate, coupled w/ridiculously abusive laws, explains why so many men are no longer marrying. I'm middle-aged, reasonably successful & attractive. Growing up, I wanted nothing more than a family. In this day & age, that's simply not going to happen (or last). The author cites tidbits from biased "Experts" (ie: being married is always better for the male?). The statistics most-definitely do not agree w/that.
Tony's getting married? Good Luck, buddy. You're gonna need it....

Well now,
It's certainly nice to read all of the male-bashing in some replies, here. Ladies (& some not), when you think it's cute&funny to joke like this, even just a little. That's a problem. Many men & women will grow old & die alone because of it. Still funny? If yes, tell the cabbage club I said "Hi."
Many men now choose not to marry. I've seen divorce rates as high as 75%. In Vegas, that's called a "Sucker's bet." That's the one point I can't believe the author of this article missed. I'm a reasonably successful, attractive, middle-aged male. I wanted a family more than anything growing up. I also grew up through two divorces... A 75% failure rate, coupled w/the grossly unfair family court laws today? It's not going to happen.
The author cites data that are skewed (ie: marriage is always better for the male?). I wish you luck there, Tony. You're gonna need it.

I'm 60 and have been married twice. First at 20 and again at 39 (to a man 12 years younger.) While a divorce is no picnic, we managed to split up relatively unscathed, and I did not expect (since I earned more,) to have my ex pay "alimony.' (it's called maintenance in my state and is not awarded indefinitely.) I love being married, but the key is to pick a person of good character. My current husband says "I married you because you had all 3 legs of the stool--the mind, the body and the soul." It's not difficult to find a mate, I meet men all the time through work or my spouse who ask to see us again--"and ask your wife to come!" Women need to learn how to connect with a man, not as a future "paycheck" or "father," but as a unique human being with his talents and faults. Men need to look for women with the same mindset. No one is "perfect" or "the one." There are many possible mates that will allow you to live happily. I would warn, however, women to get a good education, develop a good career and expect to work until retirement. It is a waste of educational resources to send women through college and professional schools, to have them sit home with kids. And I have not seen a single couple who's marriage has been made better by having kids. That's a whole other ball game. Women: men don't invest as much emotionally and mentally into the childrearing jub as you do, and the marriage partnership suffers as a result. That and the lack of sufficient money are the two biggest marriage wreckers that I've seen.

I am 25 years old, and am tentatively leaving "Guyland." Despite living at home due to financial constraints, I am embracing the responsibility of juggling a full-time job, newfound sobriety, and a one-month-old son. Although stressful, I find that responsibility is paradoxically freeing. As I leave behind the hedonistic debauchery of youth, I gain the wisdom and courage to navigate situations that terrified me in the past. Do not underestimate the importance of responsibility in a meaningful existence - indeed, responsibility is the hinge upon which true, lasting self-esteem swings.

This is a great article. I got married when I was 22 to a 20-year-old woman and have never regretted it. We have been married for 11 years and it just keeps getting better. I know that our experience is not typical and that what has worked for us may not work for others but part of our success is attributed to the fact that by marrying young we ended up growing up together. We are now 33 and 31 and know each other so well that just the thought of being "out there" brings shivers to our spines. I have been in a loving relationship for over 10 years while other guys have been partying. There will always be a part of me that envies the so-called "freedom" that singles my age have but when it comes down to it I would not trade what I have for it. I have 2 great kids who quite frankly are more fun than any pack of 28 year olds in a bar. Some may think that I missed out on "having fun" in the prime of my youth but I see it completely different. I was able to fully enjoy my kids while I still had time and energy to give them. Furthermore, since we had them so young, my wife and I we will have the chance (hopefully) to see them grow and have their own families. Once they leave our home my wife and I will still have time to enjoy each other???s company as well as our grandchildren. I'm willing to bet that once your life starts winding down you will remember the time spent with loved ones more than the time spent in "Guyland".

I want to know what the source was for the wage-gap data that you cited... It's interesting to me that if women have come so far and are now earning more that men, it hasn't been better publicized. News to me!

I've always wondered what would happen if women refused to have sex outside of marriage. Wonder how many men would be ready to settle down at 25?!

As a newcomer to the United States and an expectant mother, I was shocked by the parenting style and education that has been prevalent in the United States for the last 20-30 years: pills instead of discipline; constant supervision and pampering; no responsibilities for the children; disdain for good grades and interest in science and arts by schoolchildren; shielding kids from any criticism; sex at early age; drugs; videogames instead of reading books and playing outside, etc. I wondered how the kids raised this way would turn out as adults. Now I see. Thanks God my American husband is in his late 30s.

If you are modeling you life after Glenn Quagmire or Carrie Bradshaw...YIKES!

What Tony doesn't mention is some of the facts around rates of divorce with people in their mid and late 20's getting married compared to people who wait until their early to mid 30's. I have many friends like the ones described in this article, and the fact is they either can't handle that lifestyle anymore as they get to 30 or they just start feeling the need to settle down more. I think that most of the guys above, the technology consultant, the Emory Grad, will actually be married by the time they are 35. So what if they want to stick to the fun, single lifestyle in the prime of their life. It's better than most men who settle someone who might not be the woman of their dreams just to get married and settle down early.

Thanks for this article. I'm about as far to the other side of the spectrum as you get: out of the house by 19, virgin until marriage, married at 22, a father at 24, and home owner at 25. I've found that joy is deepened by responsibility. The thought of a life where my happiness would be tied to alcohol, multiple sex partners and freedom from commitments is pretty depressing compared to the incredible happiness and satifaction I've found in loving and serving my wife and son.

What man in his right mind wants to sign his life away willingy to the grind of marriage, stress filled job regardless of how much money it pays, only to come home to hear about how bad his wife has it. The times have changed in the last 30+ years It's just not the same as it was back then.

Who really wants to grow up in a world like this anyways! The morals and values of 30yrs ago are not the standards of this day in age it's just not. It's wrong of society mainly the older generations to place their expectations of how we the younger generation of men should be, act, or participate in society as far as jobs, marriage , family, religion, income..ect. As far as women taking over the work place of higher paying jobs by all means I say let them have it.

No reference to the divorce rate?

This article assumes that the goal for all men is security and stability and it's those two things that lead to "happiness". No thanks, I'm a 29 year old account exec at a tech company with a masters degree, my own house and my own car. I tried the "live with girlfriend/dog" route and it's boring. Go ahead and get married, more women for me.

Face it, you're getting married b/c you can't get laid otherwise.