Why I Am Leaving Guyland

I USED TO BE BEEFY and guyhood was demoralizing. Ok, let me preface this by saying that 1 - I'm still smart, good looking, relatively wealthy, educated, employed, and in my early 30's. But now I'm completely disenfranchised with marriage. I was all of these things in my late 20's, except that I was a beefy upbeat fitness freak during the week, and gentleman playboy on the weekend. Guyland totally sucked. Why you ask? It sucked because I WAS looking for a nice girl and a lot of partygoer men are lonely and lost. Find the nice girl, especially after an Odyssey, is nearly impossible. Clytemnestra's outnumber Penelope e^100 x 1. The catch-22 is that most of the "nice" girls are already married, so us early 3o's or late 2o's ready to settle down men, look about and what do you think we see? NOTHING! The remaining Bachelorettes today have sooo much baggage (daddy complex, sub-100 IQ, or played more times than Community Golf Course). It's scary. The few that I find who are normal, literally throw themselves at decent men. But get this. Here's the scary part. The part that makes a lot of guys cringe. Most of the women I meet who are quality, who will pursue (even engage in "fun times", EVEN IF THEY ARE ALREADY MARRIED. A majority of men are not afraid of commitment. They are afraid of a BAD commitment. Today's 'empowered' woman is 1,000% more likely to cheat than our fathers wives. And there are PLENTY of men who do the same. Women have this greater need to marry than men. So they grab the first thing they can lasso. Then when they realize he's a POS, or him her, it's sayonara. I think this is a cycle, that if men and women, were both on the same schedule, things would be much smoother. If the nice girls would wait around for nice guys to be ready, we'd all be better off (and less crowded). MARRAGE is not BAD. But a BAD MARRAIGE is LIFE THREATENING. ~Not Worth The Risk~

I USED TO BE BEEFY and guyhood was demoralizing. Ok, let me preface this by saying that 1 - I'm still smart, good looking, relatively wealthy, educated, employed, and in my early 30's. But now I'm completely disenfranchised with marriage. I was all of these things in my late 20's, except that I was a beefy upbeat fitness freak during the week, and gentleman playboy on the weekend. Guyland totally sucked. Why you ask? It sucked because I WAS looking for a nice girl and a lot of partygoer men are lonely and lost. Find the nice girl, especially after an Odyssey, is nearly impossible. Clytemnestra's outnumber Penelope e^100 x 1. The catch-22 is that most of the "nice" girls are already married, so us early 3o's or late 2o's ready to settle down men, look about and what do you think we see? NOTHING! The remaining Bachelorettes today have sooo much baggage (daddy complex, sub-100 IQ, or played more times than Community Golf Course). It's scary. The few that I find who are normal, literally throw themselves at decent men. But get this. Here's the scary part. The part that makes a lot of guys cringe. Most of the women I meet who are quality, who will pursue (even engage in "fun times", EVEN IF THEY ARE ALREADY MARRIED. A majority of men are not afraid of commitment. They are afraid of a BAD commitment. Today's 'empowered' woman is 1,000% more likely to cheat than our fathers wives. And there are PLENTY of men who do the same. Women have this greater need to marry than men. So they grab the first thing they can lasso. Then when they realize he's a POS, or him her, it's sayonara. I think this is a cycle, that if men and women, were both on the same schedule, things would be much smoother. If the nice girls would wait around for nice guys to be ready, we'd all be better off (and less crowded). MARRAGE is not BAD. But a BAD MARRAIGE is LIFE THREATENING. ~Not Worth The Risk~

This article sounds like it was written by Tony's fiance or was at least orchestrated by the puppet master as he will soon find out when he ventures into an entangling contract that he can never get out of with his manhood entact. I am married, and marriage is no walk in the park. Can most guys really be tied to one woman for a duration of 50 or 60 years anyway? (Increasingly more as our life expectancy grows). Either society or religious beliefs tell us that this is a realistic and desireable goal, but I would be inclined to say it is neither.

"Judge ye not, lest ye be judged" or something like that. I'm a 45 year old life long bachelor, I don't and never have fit the stereotype of the single guy(financially and socially responsible, never excessive in my behavior, don???t even drink! womanize etc).
We have to admit to what this article is really painting; a stereotype. I've seen too many examples of younger men who get married in their 20s and display the same kind of smug arrogance the author does. They think they have the game and all the angles figured out, they think they've completed the quest and are on top of the world and need to justify it to the rest of his cohort. They're wrong and I think they know that as well but can???t admit it.

Looking at the current divorce statistics and all the anecdotal evidence from family courts and other sources, the author has a slimmer chance then he thinks in finding lasting happiness.
We should pull this article back up and finds out what has happened to his life in 5-7 years and see if he's so smug then, 90% of my male and female friends have at least one marriage under their belts and most are now working on their second or even third one.
He may laugh at the "loser" single party guys, like someone who thinks this is a competition in life and he's just won the grand prize. Unfortunately, what he???s just won is not the gold ring or even the brass one, he???s won a pair a prison handcuffs and a possible 20 year sentence at hard labor.

To all the single guys reading this article, take it from an old ???salt??? don???t cave into societal pressures to get married, do so because you think it???s the right thing to do for you and not because it???s acceptable or that you???ll feel accepted (or even because your girlfriend has issued an ultimatum), those are exactly the wrong reasons to marry. There is no right or wrong time for such a large step in your life, this author thinks he knows what???s best and even pulls out so called studies to support his arguments. But look at the current marriage and divorce stats, look at current family law and listen to the experiences of already married men. Then decide for yourself what you wish to do, don???t succumb to the shaming tactics of women and men who want to see a storybook happy ending(misery loves company), 70% of divorces are initiated by women.

My guess is that this fellow won???t be quite so smug in a few years, once he???s been inside for a while. While you???re at it Google the terms ???Marriage Strike??? and ???MGTOW??? and learn about the true reasons why there are more single men then ever before. Not the so called reasons given out here.

Typical married guy who wants to justify his decision to the world......who the hell cares about your life?! You make a comment about how guys are happier and wealthier when married....complete BS! Where's your stupid statistic about over 65% of married couples get divorced!!?? The other 30% are cheating on eachother and the 4% are miserable because they can't get out of the hell they created. So that leaves you with the last 1% to walk off into the sunset.....good odds jerk! Have fun getting divorced and giving up half of what you worked for your entire life!! Happy and wealthy still? Don't get me wrong....if I met the right girl i'd marry her in a second.....but i'm not going to settle for anything just so society stops pressuring me into their misery. Congrats on your marriage and I hope it works out......just remember one thing NO ONE CARES!! Beat it NERD!!

Typical married guy who wants to justify his decision to the world......who the hell cares about your life?! You make a comment about how guys are happier and wealthier when married....complete BS! Where's your stupid statistic about over 65% of married couples get divorced!!?? The other 30% are cheating on eachother and the 4% are miserable because they can't get out of the hell they created. So that leaves you with the last 1% to walk off into the sunset.....good odds jerk! Have fun getting divorced and giving up half of what you worked for your entire life!! Happy and wealthy still? Don't get me wrong....if I met the right girl i'd marry her in a second.....but i'm not going to settle for anything just so society stops pressuring me into their misery. Congrats on your marriage and I hope it works out......just remember one thing NO ONE CARES!! Beat it NERD!!

Actually I can sympathize with these guys. While they should definitely get a job and move out of their parents' basement, dating and work are often an unhappy ordeal. Many women regard men who earn less than $50k a year--a common fate for us mathematically challenged word people--as navel lint. Work is one long sodomyfest. John Mellencamp was right: life goes on long after the thrill of living is gone. The world may not end at 21, but joy and pleasure largely do.

To quote Camille Paglia (I believe it is from "Sexual Personae"): "Teenage boys, goaded by their surging hormones run in packs like the primal horde. They have only a brief season of exhilarating liberty between control by their mothers and control by their wives. " In other words, you probably should be too smug about stepping early into your prison, however cozy it appears from the outside.

What about the 20-something women that perpetuate this pitiful lifestyle by gawking over these cocky, binge drinking losers? Guys are part of the problem, but i believe this is a larger cultural problem that involves the erosion of values and the extension of teenage immaturity in both men and women.

I think that the men who are asked wither they are happier married are not telling the truth. Minus 1 or 2 of them, my married friends are constantly complaining about not being able to make their own decisions, being tied down by social events that they don't enjoy, and the never ending barrage of complaining that some women do. I'm 29 and not married, however I'm not some drunken bachelor, or are any of my single friends, I have a house, no furniture with duct tape as the author asserts all us bachelors have, and just want determine my life. My biggest issue with being married is that as a man in our society, you lose total control of your life to someone who doesn't necessarily have your best interests in mind. I have been in many relationships and in almost every case they have impeded on my goal of self improvement because if I get better, that makes me more desirable, and more likely to leave said relationship. And with all the power women have in relationships, many women do everything to prevent this. Add 50% divorce, the sexism of family court, and the possibility of never seeing your kids or money make me leery of marriage.

I think this is sort of bullshit... Most people are strong enough to resist peer pressure to drink, party, spend money etc. etc. Especially the older a person gets. I think this story was written by a very jealous male. At least that is what it sounds like. Why sit here and condemn everyone else for living the life they want? What makes this author god, or even better than the people he wrote about, that he can sit here and judge and critique their lifestyle? This is why I try to stay away from nearly all of the major news publications. They are horrible and usually cater to the conformists in the American society...

Not all of us men who are single and unmarried are unhappy and binge drinking. What many see as "avoiding responsibility" is really the aversion to live a "traditional life" one that is expected of men: meet someone, get married, get a mortgage, raise children, work until retirement. Is this supposed to make us happy? How is this different from the gender expectations of a man in the 1950's? It isn't.

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I think for the most part this article hits the nail right on the head. Unfortunately, it seems that a somewhat more accepting culture has caused something of a backlash in masculinity. Many of my friends are overly concerned about looking like a "***" or about what I think of their masculinity. Its like rather than accepting and being grateful for the fact that our society is more accepting of different kinds of masculinity, they want to lash out and be as militantly "masculine" and chauvinist as they can.

My only problem with this article was this comment: "As a result, many men feel redundant." when referring to men being out-earned by women. This is ridiculous. On one hand you are saying that men should grow up and live meaningful lives but on the other hand you are saying that we should be offended that women are getting paid more than us sometimes? That just seems contradictory to me...maybe I don't fully understand the point the author is trying to make. I think its a great state of affairs that women are moving forward in the workplace, and maybe these little growing pains that we men are going through are just part of that process. But come on, let's do what the author suggests and stop being big babies about everything.