Why I Am Leaving Guyland

We men have seen so many of our fathers and friends pour their lives into a marriage only to have a woman divorce them and take away everything they have helped to build - especially the children. After divorce most men end up working to give financial support to a family life they can no longer participate in. So its not surprising that many men decide its safer not to marry. Women complain that they can't find men like their fathers - that's because you women are not like your mothers.

I belive everything you wrote is true for many men, I would like to belive it is not so for some. I am a married woman in my mid 30's , I have been married for 19 years. My husband preferes to watch the football/baseball games with me instead of at the bar with his friends. I took me long time to learn the games and I have come to love football the most. What is my point you may ask. The point is that women need to embrace what makes a man, a man and love them for it. I have 2 sons and I love them exactly as the are testosterone filled,stinky socks and all. I would be really upset if a woman tried to change that. I think men don't want to grow up because their prospective wives want to change them. I don't blame the men for staying single. I know this may not apply to all men but it must to most.

Ok.. you got married at 27 good for you. But you had to write an aritcle to help you feel good about the choice? Allot of these men are boys that grew up watching mommy pop prozac just to get through the day or that daddy had a nice "vide" collection cause he was unsatisfied. Oh the white picket fence and 1.2 kids with a nice loyal dog.

Ok.. you got married at 27 good for you.. allot of these men are boys that grew up watching mommy pop prozac everyday to get through the day or daddy had a nice porn collection cause he was unsatisfied. Oh the white picket fence and 1.2 kids with a nice loyal dog.

I definitely fit the above description, spending a decade working, partying, and traveling before marrying, buying a house, and becoming a father. For me, it has to do with two things. One is knowing that I'll probably live into my 80s. Why not extend my 20s into my 30s? Why be in a rush for those other things when life is long and there is plenty of time? The second thing is the influence of married men. I definitely got the impression when I was younger that men who married young regret all the things they never got to do and fun they never had. So I didn't want that to happen to me. I traveled and partied and enjoyed life until I was good and ready to settle down. I think I'll be a happier husband and father in the long run because of it.

Why do I have the feeling that thirty or so years ago a similar article was produced about women who suddenly didn't want to get married and reproduce immediately, and were looking to have careers or lives of their own before choosing to be wives and mothers? Maybe this is men's reaction/backlash to women staving off their own "responsibilities"? Or maybe it's time to expand the definition of "the game of life" to being more than just a couple extra pink and blue sticks in the back of your plastic car.

Why do I have the feeling that thirty or so years ago a similar article was produced about women who suddenly didn't want to get married and reproduce immediately, and were looking to have careers or lives of their own before choosing to be wives and mothers? Maybe this is men's reaction/backlash to women staving off their own "responsibilities"? Or maybe it's time to expand the definition of "the game of life" to being more than just a couple extra pink and blue sticks in the back of your plastic car.

This article lacks the most important aspect: women's expectations. If one carat, a modest wedding, domestic honeymoon and one bedroom starter home were enough years ago, why not now? Do a study on how those purchases have changed over the years. What guy wants to get saddled with all that debt? White college educated males are already pressured at work hearing "You need to make more cold calls, more sales, more numbers" and being comparatively manipulated by our bosses without adding a wife who wants and wants adding pressure to earn. I got married because the bar scene was lonesome after years of carousing but I found a woman who was realistic also. Women in their 20s are too easily manipulated by DeBeers, The Knot, The Fabulous Life of.

I'm married, 25, with a daughter, about to start a career as an attorney. None of my close friends are married, and I don't want them to be. I don't wish I was still in college, or regret any of my decisions whatsoever, but I don't want to talk to them about their kids, their wives, or their views on domesticity. None of those things are interesting to other people. I want to talk to them about the things that we actually do discuss: Politics, literature, music, economic issues, and yes, how often they are getting laid. And with respect to the part of the article regarding 20-somethings not being able to start their careers, I went to a state school, and all my friends are working in either sales, finance, accounting, or some other similarly lucrative and career oriented position. They're happy--they don't want to rush into anything. This is a good thing. Divorce rates are high because people aren't ready for marriage when they get married. It's far better to wait for the right person than to rush in, have a kid, and then create a bad situation not only for yourself, but for your child. "Guyland" is by far the better alternative.

I dunno dude, Guyland sounds like a pretty cool place to be doesnt it?
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They are less likely to read a newspaper, attend church, vote for president or believe that people are basically trustworthy, helpful and fair." Probably because they get their news from the internet, don't want to waste their time with a religion, don't have much faith in the politicians and have been taught at their corporate jobs that fairness only works for those in charge." As for getting married later, it might have something to do that many of us guys are the product of a divorce, and just want to wait and get married when we find the right person and are good and ready for it.

"They are less likely to read a newspaper, attend church, vote for president or believe that people are basically trustworthy, helpful and fair." Probably because they get their news from the internet, don't want to waste their time with a religion, don't have much faith in the politicians and have been taught at their corporate jobs that fairness only works for those in charge. As for getting married later, it might have something to do that many of us guys are the product of a divorce, and just want to wait and get married when we find the right person and are good and ready for it.

"They are less likely to read a newspaper, attend church, vote for president or believe that people are basically trustworthy, helpful and fair."

1) We don't read the newspaper because we have access to this thing called the internet that provides significantly more coverage and depth to world events than an editorialized newspaper ever did.
2) Some of us don't attend church because it's far from being a sign of maturity. If anything it's counterproductive to a mature worldview.
3) At least some of us don't rush out to vote because we're not represented by any party, and worse years and years of jokes about third parties have become self-fulfilling. Most 20 somethings I know agree with platforms outside of the two parties (which represent practically one platform), but everyone is indoctrinated to believe those are the only options.
4) And so some of us agree with Hobbes - people are inherently self-serving. There are plenty of examples of altruism from people, but I find those often are channeled to specific times and causes, not necessarily a general state of being for people.

"They are less likely to read a newspaper, attend church, vote for president or believe that people are basically trustworthy, helpful and fair."

1) We don't read the newspaper because we have access to this thing called the internet that provides significantly more coverage and depth to world events than an editorialized newspaper ever did.
2) Some of us don't attend church because it's far from being a sign of maturity. If anything it's counterproductive to a mature worldview.
3) At least some of us don't rush out to vote because we're not represented by any party, and worse years and years of jokes about third parties have become self-fulfilling. Most 20 somethings I know agree with platforms outside of the two parties (which represent practically one platform), but everyone is indoctrinated to believe those are the only options.
4) And so some of us agree with Hobbes - people are inherently self-serving. There are plenty of examples of altruism from people, but I find those often are channeled to specific times and causes, not necessarily a general state of being for people.

"They are less likely to read a newspaper, attend church, vote for president or believe that people are basically trustworthy, helpful and fair."

1) We don't read the newspaper because we have access to this thing called the internet that provides significantly more coverage and depth to world events than an editorialized newspaper ever did.
2) Some of us don't attend church because it's far from being a sign of maturity. If anything it's counterproductive to a mature worldview.
3) At least some of us don't rush out to vote because we're not represented by any party, and worse years and years of jokes about third parties have become self-fulfilling. Most 20 somethings I know agree with platforms outside of the two parties (which represent practically one platform), but everyone is indoctrinated to believe those are the only options.
4) And so some of us agree with Hobbes - people are inherently self-serving. There are plenty of examples of altruism from people, but I find those often are channeled to specific times and causes, not necessarily a general state of being for people.

Must be a coasts thing. I'm a 20-something and have two kids. I'm married, hold down a good job and own a house. I'm voting Obama in November. Most of my similar aged friends and family are in the same boat. Most of us are atheists, so its not a Jesus thing.

Guess its just goes to show that America is a diverse nation in all things.

Please don't lump church attendence with maturity. I didn't need that crap when I was 10 and my family certainly doesn't need it now. We have enough to do already without wasting Sunday morning being lied to.

I'm a 33 y.o. married (7 years) guy with kids and if it wasn't for the kids, I'd want guyland back in a instant most days. Women are milk when you're dating, butter when you're engaged, and cheese when you get married. It's a total nagfest 24/7, with constant comparisons to friends, family and neighbors who are doing better, driving nicer cars, and taking vacations.

I didn't draw a bad number in the lotto - my married guy friends admit the same issues with their wives. Maybe in 20 years I'll be glad I'm not the old creepy bachelor hanging out the bar hitting on the girls, but right now I just work a lot of overtime so I'm not home to hear the complaining.