Is it the Jonas Brothers?
Ten-year-old Malia Obama, the elder daughter of Sen. Barack Obama, after being told there was a "surprise" awaiting her onstage at the Democratic National Convention. It turned out to be her father, appearing via satellite.
[We] pushed the bodies into the canal and left.
Sgt. Michael P. Leahy Jr., in a sworn statement detailing how he and two other U.S. soldiers executed four blindfolded Iraqi detainees and hid the bodies
Can we drill your brains?
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, chiding John McCain supporters who interrupted her speech at a Denver press event with chants of "Drill here! Drill now!"
We are sure that it will work wonders.
India's Secretary of Welfare Vijay Prakash, urging citizens to eat rats, which are high in protein, as a way to ease the global hunger crisis
On your way out, don't let the door bang you on the ass.
Chicago Sun-Times movie critic Roger Ebert, in an open letter to sportswriter Jay Mariotti, who quit the paper in a huff to become a TV reporter and told an interviewer that "newspapers are dead"
America, we are better than these last eight years. We are a better country than this.
Sen. Barack Obama, in his speech accepting his party's nomination at the Democratic National Convention in Denver
Holy cow!
Retired teacher Chuck Heath, father of Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, upon learning—fresh off a caribou hunting trip—that Sen. John McCain had chosen Palin to be his running mate
This is one of the largest project management challenges the U.S. government has had since we put somebody on the moon.
Hank Krakowski, chief operations officer for the Federal Aviation Administration's air-traffic system, on the need to upgrade aging computer technology after a massive failure caused 650 flight delays across the East Coast and the Midwest
I want to give a shout-out to all my Saudi Arabian brothers and sisters … if y'all could please send me some oil for my jet, I would truly appreciate it.
Famously profligate rap mogul Sean (Diddy) Combs, announcing that even he has been forced to ground his private jet because of higher gas prices