But it's more than that; it's the Midwest. News and trends bubble up on the coasts of our continent. Luckily, the Midwest keeps us sane.

And fed. In the old days, the purpose of a state fair was to show off the agricultural accomplishments of local farmers. These days most fairgoers care only about inhaling the end product.

We Americans still lead the world in many fields: automotive cup-holder technology, for example. We also excel at the art of putting food on a stick encased in a rigid jacket of deep fried batter—the better to stroll along with while you look for other food on a stick. (The fair is famous not only for its size—it's second only to Texas—but for its political history. It was there, in 1901, that Teddy Roosevelt gave his famous "walk softly and carry a big stick" foreign-policy speech, and accidentally foreshadowed the fair's on-a-stick cuisine.)

Here in St. Paul, strollable items included: an entire spaghetti and meatball dinner; huge hunks of cured chocolate-covered bacon; walleye fish strips; falafel; sausages and hotdogs; assorted candy bars and snack-food cookies and cakes; and a "hot dish on a stick," consisting of an alternating series of Swedish meatballs and Tater Tots.

I saw one—and only one—fresh fruit stand. I had no interest in it.

Maybe this is the kind of menu that led to the fall of the Roman Empire, but I refuse to think so. I prefer to think of it as the way Minnesotans bulk up, like hibernating bears, for the winter.