Another Kind of Addict

The term "sex addict" has been used as a punch line on television so often that it's hard to believe that it can actually be a serious addiction, like alcoholism. So when "X Files" star, David Duchovny, announced last week that he was entering rehab for treatment of a sexual addiction, it almost seemed like a fictional plotline for the Showtime series "Californication," on which Duchovny plays a sex-obsessed single dad. But for those affected, the ramifications of a sexual addiction are all too real, often leaving marriages, careers and bank accounts in ruins. For celebrities who are contending with sexual problems, there's often the added humiliation of having their difficulties made public. This summer, the tabloids were filled with lurid stories of out-of-control spending on Internet porn by Peter Cook, husband of model Christie Brinkley. And of course, in Hollywood, tales of actors risking their reputations by picking up street prostitutes are too numerous to mention.

What exactly constitutes a sexual addiction? It's generally described as obsessive sexually related behavior that dominates the addict's life. The compulsive behavior can range from obsessive use of pornography or promiscuity, to use of prostitutes or even sexual violence. Still, the notion that people can be clinically addicted to sex is controversial. Sex addiction, is not recognized by the American Psychological Association as a diagnosable disorder; and when news breaks of yet another philandering celebrity or politician, the public is likely to assume the person is suffering from an extreme case of caddishness rather than a bona fide illness. To learn more about how sexual addictions are treated and diagnosed, NEWSWEEK's Susanna Schrobsdorff spoke to Jill W. Bley, a clinical psychologist and sex therapist in Cincinnati. Excerpts:

NEWSWEEK: The term "sex addiction" isn't universally accepted among psychologists, is it?
Jill Bley: It's been controversial in our field. There's one group of people who have researched this who say that label can only be applied when there's a substance involved. They wouldn't talk about a gambling addiction; they would talk about compulsive gambling behavior. Those of us who do the clinical work, we don't care what you call it. We look at the behavior. I may tell someone they have an obsessive-compulsive sexual need. The only time the label makes a difference is if you go to court or justify something with an insurance company—then you call it obsessive-compulsive behavior.

Some people see the sex-addict label as just an excuse for a guy who cheats. What's the difference between someone who needs psychological help and someone who is just a jerk?
Some are jerks. But there's a huge difference between someone who's cheating and an addict. A person who has a sexual addiction is engaging in obsessive-compulsive sexual behavior, which causes severe stress to the addicted individual and their families, and over which they do not have control.  

The statistics say that more men get help for sex addiction than women. Is there a difference between male and female sex addicts?
Male and female sex addicts are pretty much the same. Women tend to get into love addictions more, though men sometimes do too. [A love addiction] may look like a sex addiction, but what they're really in it for is the high of being adored, getting attention. Women may feel they are only valued for their bodies, so they use their bodies to attract attention or love.   

Are there men who say urges are normal male biology and that they can't help pursuing sex all the time?
Sometimes it is the thrill of the chase, which is normal, but not if the pursuit becomes compulsive. This one person I work with, he had about 40 women that he was involved with. He had four cell phones. He'd give different women the numbers so he could figure out which woman was calling and keep them separate. He would tell me all the time, "I can't help it. Women are hitting on me wherever I go; I get on the plane and the flight attendant starts coming on to me." This man even said that my secretary was hitting on him when he came in for a therapy appointment, and I can say definitely that she wasn't.