End the Mommy Wars

This is strictly a women's issue for how we accept ourselves. We aren't very fair to ourselves about parenting remaining convinced that the best care for our kids is mommy - not paid help or even daddy.

So recognize the source of the issue - other women. News has circulated about her water breaking in Texas and her deciding to take a 12 hour flight home to Alaska and drive from the airport to Wasilla. I'll bite that by the time you have your fifth kid you are a pretty good judge of how long it will take and how close you can cut it.

So yes, other women might be really turned off by her persona besides her political views.

Yes, the republicans did make a lot out of what happened with the Clintons in the 90's. Guess what? The democrats are the ones who are currently vilifying them now for that. The same emails I got about Bill in the 90's were sent to me by democrats this time around. In the 90's, the democrats said it was all a republican conspiracy. Now the democrats condemn the Clinton's for the behavior. They call it the 'Clinton baggage'. Both sides are so hypocritical it's hard to imagine any have been educated at all. Some of us actually follow what happens and remember. The young people who bashed Hillary in favor of Obama can't even remember that their bashing was republican 'speak' back then.

Thank you so much for saying this - and saying this so well. I have never described myself as either a republican or a democrat - or a feminist. BUT I am a 45 year old woman with 3 degrees and 2 kids. I have worked their entire lives, and I've been told before that women going to work and leaving children in daycare was the 'ruination' of this country. Those were very conservative men telling me this. Now I hear liberal women saying these things about Palin. I am disturbed, angry, confused -especially after Hillary's treatment in the primaries. I watched my single mother TRY to get jobs in the 70's and saw the sexism (and wrote a paper on the ERA in 6th grade because of it). Now the women who fought for these equal rights are slamming a woman who is exercising the rights. I think this year of politics has proven to me that sexism is much more acceptable than racism in this country. People don't even 'look over their shoulders' before making an incredibly sexist, cruel statement about women - whether it's Hillary or Sarah. This year, Palin gets my vote since Hillary had that opportunity taken from her. Thanks to the media.

The fact that Ms. Deveny makes such statements reflects the sad state of today's world where anyone, especially loud and obnoxious people, have a platform with which to spew their venom. Unfortunately, the above article and its conclusion show that woman are allowed to make reverse-sexist comments without shame or recourse simply because it is coming from a woman. I take serious objection to the above statements, as a male, and posit that Ms. Deveny has never seen the inside of a family that does not have stereotypical gender roles. As for me, in MY two-plus decades in the workforce, I have heard many a man criticize the childcare arrangements of another man's family. The fact that Ms. Deveny has not, shows what a sheltered life she has lead where she suggests working mothers take time off while the men are required to return to work. Ms. Deveny claims that working mothers face challenges that working fathers don't. What a sexist statement! In attempting to claim that the media is perpetrating a double-standard, Ms. Deveny has fallen prey to her own biases, suggesting that ALL working mothers are to be placed on a pedestal while working fathers remain aloof. That may be the case in her sad little world, but around here, men care very much for their families and make special arrangements when necessary. Her blanket statements that working mothers face greater challenges may have been the case in the 1950's and 1960's, but this is the 21st century where men, like myself, are just as involved in the rearing and care of my children as my wife. I would have loved to take six months off to care for my two daughters when they were born, Ms. Deveny, especially since my youngest has chromosomal issues as well. Unfortunately, my greater challenge was to be forced to go back to work, away from my newborns, because men get little to no maternity leave. Try being forced to go back to work when all you want to do is be home with your new baby and then talk to me about greater challenges.

To suggest that Gov. Palin's parenting decisions should not be under scrutiny is yet another attempt to wrongly claim that any questioning of a candidate's sensitive "family issues" should be kept off limits. This has not been the practice in the history of politics and it will certainly not stop simply because this particular candidate is a Republican woman with five kids. Personally, regardless of the sex of the candidate, I would question their decision to allow themselves to hold such a demanding public office while still producing young children, especially ones with special needs. I would question ANYONE who does not work the least amount of hours to be home with their families, especially ones with newborns and ESPECIALLY ones with special needs children.

Ms. Deveny, if you can't adjust your biases to allow that men can actually think this way, then you have no business in the publishing world.

Well, while i respect your passion about Sarah Palin on the far right, Obama has been rising in the polls substantially in some key battleground states since her introduction onto the national stage. This is because the battleground states arent won by appealing to the furthest wing of your party. Sorry Johnny Mac, but your base isnt big enough to carry you to 1600 Penn, it'll only carry you home.

elizac, what are you REALLY worried about? If she feels comfortable with raising a family while helping run the country, then give here a chance to prove she is capable of doing that. As for being involved, you can't possibly have a family and not be involved, so what makes you think she isn't? She can always hire help if she needs to, lots of working mothers do that. Even Caroline & John Kennedy Jr. had a Nanny, and Jackie wasn't even in politics, except as the wife of the president! Give the woman a chance!

Newsweek, you were right in there too at the start! Shame on you and a huge shame on "US" magazine for the the text on their cover of Sarah Palin. Talk about going beyond the pale. She has done more for Alaska, and the people of Alaska in less than two years as Governor of that state, than Obama has done in Washington during the time he has been there!

For those who don't believe the parenting arrangements for a father are put under the microscope, try being an active-duty single-parent military member (or one where both parents are military). For deployment planning (at least in the Air Force), you are required to have a plan for how and when your children, or incapable adult family members, will be taken care of; both short and long term. Plans must be in writing, and provided to the Mobility officer of the unit. Some take care of their family, others have to be forced into planning for contingencies which could take them away for potentially extended periods. I agree with the main element of your article that the problem is not that she is being looked at, it is How she is being looked at. Hope all will start focussing on her governmental positions, ethical questions, and the fact she has no federal experience; there is plenty there yet to be vetted by competent authority (the people, not McCain). I have long been comfortable with a female commander in chief. I have never been comfortable with self-serving politicians, no matter what their gender. Thanks.

Jacky, how is her expressing her personal beliefs a threat to you, how is that "forcing" them on you? When you express your personal beliefs, are you attempting to push them on everyone else? Theres a difference in expressing what YOU believe, and in telling others they should feel the same way. Sarah Palin only spoke of HER feelings, I never once heard her say that her feelings should be adopted by everyone else. Lets acknowlege that even public figutes have a right to have personal feelings which may not agree with ours; but that does not mean they can't still be a very good leader for everyone. Mature people respect each other's beliefs, even if they are not what we believe. As for her experience, she has much more experience in political dealings than Obama does.

This is not a double standard. Why is the wife more responsible for family? Because moms are a unique influence in a child's life and no one else, not dad or the nanny can substitute on the emotional level. Dad is very important in raising a child but the mother's nurturing and influence in the child's life is special by nature - especially in a very young child's life - as well as a teenaged girl's life. This mom influence requires a mom's time. Wasn't the campaign boasting that Palin is a Hockey Mom? Well I guess being available to her children for such things isn't important anymore. I'm a conservative Republican and I had a career - but I turned down assignments that would result in too much travel or to miss evenings with my kids while they were growing up. It didn't kill my career and my children had my time for homework and softball games. It doesn't feel to me that McCain had family values in mind with this selection - and he did have other qualified choices. In my opinion, a VP and possible president job for SP at this time in her young children's life is ill-timed for the best interests of the children. Once ALL the kids are older then no problem, shoot for the stars.