School dress codes are aimed at girls, not boys. That's because girls are very sexual at the junior high and high school levels. They post videos of themselves on YouTube and make private porn movies for their boyfriends. So it should not come as any surprise that girls use words on their clothing to draw attention to certain body parts that they are proud of and want guys to notice. Let them be sexual, because they are.
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One Lexington, Ky., private school's rules are so complicated that any kid who can master them should automatically win an academic scholarship to the college of her choice. Here's just one small, cryptic section:
On Fridays we will keep with the current traditions for special dress. That would be dress-up for Lower and Middle School students. The rules about "solid color" do not apply in any division on Fridays. Special dress day will be a Friday only occurrence. Fridays that precede school vacations of at least a week will not be dress-up days, nor will Fridays that are half days. The three exceptions are the day of our holiday concert, Grandparents' Day, and the day of the Candle Lighting Ceremony. These will be dress-up days. Preschool is exempt from the Candle Lighting Ceremony dress-up day. They do not attend.
But the mother of all school dress codes just debuted in Gonzales, Texas, 60 miles southeast of Austin. Students who are inappropriately dressed in that district have a choice of going to detention or donning a school-supplied, genuine inmate-made, prison-style denim jumpsuit and going back to class.
The introduction of the jumpsuits caused such a kerfuffle at a recent school board meeting that the police had to be called in to calm a small pack of irate parents. Gonzales Independent School District Superintendent Vic Salazar says objecting parents were in the minority and that the first few days of school have gone off with only minor infractions.
As to bum-lettering, Salazar says that there won't any of that at his schools this year—because so much text on shirts has become provocative, the district instituted a ban this year on letters or pictures of any kind anywhere on clothing worn by kids in grades five through 12 (abstract lines and circles are OK).
"Last year, I saw a junior [girl] whose T shirt said THESE TOOLS ARE FOR BEDTIME," he says. "I don't think these girls realize what effect they're having when they wear these things. We're just trying to protect them." (The district also mandates that boys may not wear earrings or grow their hair below their earlobes.)
But teenagers are nothing if not innovative. Already the talk around Gonzales is that the kids might start wearing the denim jumpsuits just for fun. And if that happens, you know it won't be long before questionable phrases start appearing on the backsides of those, too.
© 2008
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