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It would be wonderful if folks could forgive without someone else saying sorry. Lack of forgiveness and holdingonto grudges hurt us as much as they hurt others. We create much of our own pain in this way. An interesting read for those struggling with this and wanting peace in their lives is: Loving What Is by Byron Katie.
Wow. This is absolutely beautiful. My family is not a silent one, but we do hold grudges. I still have not yet forgiven my father for his abuse of my mother, and he still has not apologized. This affects every aspect of our father-daughter relationship. If he would just apologize, which seems to be an insurmountable task for him, I would forgive him for ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING and build a real relationship with him.
Comment from DKN to:
Dear Mrs Janice W.,
The opening paragraph of your article gave reader a feeling that your parents are the ones who started the cold war in your family:
" ... series of family difficulties culminating in an angry phone conversation with my mother in 1988..."
After reading the whole story, as a serious reader, I keep asking myself that your mother had terminate disease, you should say " I am Sorry " to your Mom in the first place, in 12 years ago !!!
Your father was not in any part of the angry phone conversation between his wife and his daughter, but he did say " I am sorry" .
You should be happy because you are no longer an orphan and because you had a wonderful and generous father.
Unfortunately at the present time your parents could not have any feeling of being kissed on their headstone !
The lesson that I have learned from your story:
- Life is short, if you really LOVE and CARE for someones, LET'S DO IT NOW before it's too late !
Thank you for sharing your experiences in life.
DKN
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