An Apostle of Alaska

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  • Posted By: Omaar @ 09/08/2008 11:23:18 AM

    http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/09/03/eveningnews/main4413606.shtml

    Cindy McCain Lies when she says that Sarah Palin was Thoroughly Vetted ...

    Thats Borderline Bull-Spit !!

    Keep in mind that it will Not be Mrs. Mccain that will have the Power to Overturn Roe Vs. Wade...Crazy A!! McCain will have that Dubius Dis-Honor.

    Couric goes on record as saying to Cindy McCain, "Your husband believes Roe V. Wade should be Overturned"

    Couric: Some, even Republicans, seemed surprised that Sen. McCain picked a running mate who opposes abortion even in the cases of rape and incest, and believes creationism should be taught in schools. And I'm just curious, do you agree with that?

    McCain: What I agree with is the fact that she is a social conservative. She is a reform-minded woman. She is someone that will ??? shake Washington up, which is exactly what we want to do. We differ on many issues; we differ across the board with people. We don't have to agree on every issue.

    Couric: Where do you stand on abortion?

    McCain: I'm pro-life. I'm on the record as being pro-life, like my husband.

    Couric: So do you oppose it even in cases of rape and incest?

    McCain: No.

    Couric: So that's where you two differ in terms of your position on that.

    McCain: Uh-huh

    Couric: And do you believe Roe V. Wade should be overturned?

    McCain: No. no.

    Couric: No. Why not? Your husband does.

    McCain: No. I don't think he does.

    Couric: He believes it should be overturned. That's what he told me, and that it should go to the states.

    McCain: Well, in that respect. Yes, yeah, I do. I understand what you're saying now. It's a states issue.

    Couric: So, you believe it should be overturned or shouldn't be overturned.

    McCain: I believe it's a states issue. That I do believe.

    Couric: How do you feel about creationism? Do you think it should be taught in schools?

    McCain: I think both sides should be taught in schools. I think the more children have a frame of reference and an opportunity to read and know and make better decisions and judgments when they are adults. So, I think you know I don't have any problem with education of any kind.

  • Posted By: Omaar @ 09/08/2008 11:22:55 AM

    http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/09/03/eveningnews/main4413606.shtml

    Cindy McCain Lies when she says that Sarah Palin was Thoroughly Vetted ...

    Thats Borderline Bull-Spit !!

    Keep in mind that it will Not be Mrs. Mccain that will have the Power to Overturn Roe Vs. Wade...Crazy A!! McCain will have that Dubius Dis-Honor.

    Couric goes on record as saying to Cindy McCain, "Your husband believes Roe V. Wade should be Overturned"

    Couric: Some, even Republicans, seemed surprised that Sen. McCain picked a running mate who opposes abortion even in the cases of rape and incest, and believes creationism should be taught in schools. And I'm just curious, do you agree with that?

    McCain: What I agree with is the fact that she is a social conservative. She is a reform-minded woman. She is someone that will ??? shake Washington up, which is exactly what we want to do. We differ on many issues; we differ across the board with people. We don't have to agree on every issue.

    Couric: Where do you stand on abortion?

    McCain: I'm pro-life. I'm on the record as being pro-life, like my husband.

    Couric: So do you oppose it even in cases of rape and incest?

    McCain: No.

    Couric: So that's where you two differ in terms of your position on that.

    McCain: Uh-huh

    Couric: And do you believe Roe V. Wade should be overturned?

    McCain: No. no.

    Couric: No. Why not? Your husband does.

    McCain: No. I don't think he does.

    Couric: He believes it should be overturned. That's what he told me, and that it should go to the states.

    McCain: Well, in that respect. Yes, yeah, I do. I understand what you're saying now. It's a states issue.

    Couric: So, you believe it should be overturned or shouldn't be overturned.

    McCain: I believe it's a states issue. That I do believe.

    Couric: How do you feel about creationism? Do you think it should be taught in schools?

    McCain: I think both sides should be taught in schools. I think the more children have a frame of reference and an opportunity to read and know and make better decisions and judgments when they are adults. So, I think you know I don't have any problem with education of any kind.

  • Posted By: Sinibaldi @ 09/08/2008 11:22:28 AM

    J'invoque l'éternité.

    J'invoque l'éternité:
    tendres rayons
    d'un amour perpétuel
    décrivent tout de
    suite une boîte
    de pastels, comme
    le son de la
    neige que revient
    tendrement où le
    chant disparaît....

    Francesco Sinibaldi

  • Posted By: Omaar @ 09/08/2008 11:16:55 AM

    John Mccain: On Abortion

    If you are a Pro-Lifer, you are one 100%............. NO EXCEPTIONS AT ALL !!!

    Note: No Time Limits, plus McCain's Wife Cindy, Believes the same thingl. Katie Couric spoke with Cindy Mccain and got her own Words, agreeing with John Mccain, in her own words to the following....
    -------------------

    1. Rape: No Time Limits

    2. Incest: No Time Limits

    3. Threatens The Mothers Life: No Time Limits !!

    -----------------------

    Threats on the Life of the Mother is Hog wash...The Easy Way Out !!!

    Had'nt McCain heard the term (Ceasarian Section) whereby the Mother & Child could in Fact Live...Hmmmm
    ---------------------------------
    Cindy owns a Property that has an Abortion Clinic, that Performs ABORTIONS !!!

    ----------------------------

    Your Saint of a President, George W. Bush Jr. is a Pro-Choice President..

    For Nearly 7 1/2 Years, You So Called Pro Lifers had No Quarm about what happened to Fetuses or Bush Jr. also being a Pro-Choice President, The Republican Party has passed Bush Jr. off as a "Pro-Lifer, when he's Never been a Pro-Lifer !!!

    Surprise, Surprise !!!

    You Hypocritical Low Lifes !!

  • Posted By: brSF @ 09/08/2008 11:11:28 AM

    Yesterday's (Sept. 7) Washington Post ran a front page article by Karl Vick and James Grimaldi on the "blur" between Sarah Palin's family and government life. It reported on Todd Palin's very active involvement in the Governor's administration. He apparently attends and confers with the Cabinet, is cc'd on the Governor's e-mails, is involved in policy decisions. It would seem that his involvement--and positions--need attention.

  • Posted By: Omaar @ 09/08/2008 8:45:14 AM

    http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/09/03/eveningnews/main4413606.shtml

    Cindy McCain Lies when she says that Sarah Palin was Thoroughly Vetted ...

    Thats Borderline Bull-Spit !!

    Keep in mind that it will Not be Mrs. Mccain that will have the Power to Overturn Roe Vs. Wade...Crazy A!! McCain will have that Dubius Dis-Honor.

    Couric goes on record as saying to Cindy McCain, "Your husband believes Roe V. Wade should be Overturned"

    Couric: Some, even Republicans, seemed surprised that Sen. McCain picked a running mate who opposes abortion even in the cases of rape and incest, and believes creationism should be taught in schools. And I'm just curious, do you agree with that?

    McCain: What I agree with is the fact that she is a social conservative. She is a reform-minded woman. She is someone that will ??? shake Washington up, which is exactly what we want to do. We differ on many issues; we differ across the board with people. We don't have to agree on every issue.

    Couric: Where do you stand on abortion?

    McCain: I'm pro-life. I'm on the record as being pro-life, like my husband.

    Couric: So do you oppose it even in cases of rape and incest?

    McCain: No.

    Couric: So that's where you two differ in terms of your position on that.

    McCain: Uh-huh

    Couric: And do you believe Roe V. Wade should be overturned?

    McCain: No. no.

    Couric: No. Why not? Your husband does.

    McCain: No. I don't think he does.

    Couric: He believes it should be overturned. That's what he told me, and that it should go to the states.

    McCain: Well, in that respect. Yes, yeah, I do. I understand what you're saying now. It's a states issue.

    Couric: So, you believe it should be overturned or shouldn't be overturned.

    McCain: I believe it's a states issue. That I do believe.

    Couric: How do you feel about creationism? Do you think it should be taught in schools?

    McCain: I think both sides should be taught in schools. I think the more children have a frame of reference and an opportunity to read and know and make better decisions and judgments when they are adults. So, I think you know I don't have any problem with education of any kind.

    • Posted By: HolyRoller @ 09/08/2008 9:20:24 AM

      Hey Goober....so the McCains are Pro-Life and beleive the bible to be the truth...SO WHAT....but...if you really want to talk about the spouses....MicHELLe is a wealth of punch lines.

      I for one...want to see her C.O.L.B. I'm not for sure, she was born female. Big-Boned just doesnt cut it. Bet the children are refugees from Kenya.

      NOBAMA!!!

      • Posted By: Omaar @ 09/08/2008 11:11:26 AM

        Man can you Spout out Low Leveled Nothings, that only you would Believe.

        Allah, Jehovah, Elohim, Yahweh, Yahshua, Abba & Jehovah Jirah, Mean in different Tongues...The Supreme being(s), Father God Or Creator.

        In any Language or Religion, God Loves All Human beings, If God hated The Arabs So Much, why are their Nations So Prosperous ..Hmmmm

        Because God Loves Them, as mch as he Loves other Nations of Peoples.

        The Torah, The Bible & The Quran are All Mixed up and the reason for So Much CONFUSION and therefore........... ALL 3 BOOKS ARE VOIDED

        God DOES NOT FAVOR ONE RACE OVER THE OTHER...MAN DOES THAT ALL BY THEMSELVES AND JUSTIFIES THEIR BLOOD LUST, MURDER AND GREED IN THE NAME OF GOD, VIA THEIR LUST FOR OTHER NATION'S, NATURAL RESOURCES.
        ------------------------

        YOU ARE NOT HOLY...YOU ARE A RACIST, NO DIFFERENT THAN THE KKK, THE NAZI PARTY, THE ARYAN NATION, THE MALITIA OR THE OLD "CITIZENS COUCIL" ALL YOUR WICKED ACTS IN THE NAME OF JESUS, RING HOLLOW, BECAUSE YOURHATEFUL-HATEFILLED ACTIONS IN THE NAME OR IN THE GUISE OF JESUS, IS A DECPETION, YOU ARE A WHITE HATEFILLED RACIST, LIKE YOUR PAST KKK MEMBERS, WHO HUNG, BURNED, BLEW UP BLACK AMERICAN CHURCHES, CASTRATED, BURNED DOWN HOMES OF BLACK AMERICANS, ALL IN THE NAME OF "JESUS"

        JESUS, WILL HAVE NO PARTS OF SUCH AN ABOMINATION AS YOU, SO STOP LYING OR USING JESUS'S NAME AND DEAL WITH YOUR HATE OF OBAMA AND OTHER PEOPLES RELIGIONS , RACES AND RID YOURSEF OF THE HATE, BEFORE YOU SAY, YOU'RE A "CHRISTIAN" BECAUSE YOU CLESARLY ARE OT A REAL "CHRISTIAN"

  • Posted By: ojibwa @ 09/08/2008 10:50:15 AM

    A real fundamentalist, isn't she?
    Let us all remember that Hitler was also voted in democratically.

    • Posted By: Rametyn @ 09/08/2008 11:07:53 AM

      Uhhhh, so was Mussolini. A man who his country adored, whom they all loved for his proposed ideas. Like Obama, the press was not allowed to say anything bad about him either, and all he recieved was praise for the persona that he "promised" to his people--even promising to protect the JEWS. This right before he joined Hitler in his campaign to wipe them out.

      Be careful of the comparisons that you make, because you can go into history and make allusions to many kinds of dictators--just to make a point. However, Obama resembles Mussolini much more than Mccain does Hitler.

      Again, this is tired.

      As a last resort, the Dems always shrink their attempts down in trying to paint Republican values as some facist regime mentality.

      Like everyone is stupid, and they are going to believe that in any way.

      That is why you are now losing in the polls--ridiculous statements over substantial argment will not win you the election.

      Watch and see.

  • Posted By: brSF @ 09/08/2008 11:07:00 AM

    The Washington Post wrote

  • Posted By: lisaooo @ 09/08/2008 9:59:17 AM

    Are we going to do this every 4 years, I mean, have an election where the parties pit half of Americans against the other half. We have a split in this country and instead of trying to heal that split and fix all the MANY problems we have that we can agree upon, politicians (and I think a central example is Palin's speech at the convention) want to open that sore and throw vinegar into it for political gain. At least Obama talked about finding the common ground and making progress there. This country is falling apart, not because it is not following one narrow religion's viewpoints as to values and social mores, but because we'd rather fight than fix. Can we not give peace a chance - home and abroad? This is getting ridiculous. The only people benefitting are politicians. No Americans, far right, middle, or far left. We're all the suckers, commonly.

    • Posted By: blackcourt @ 09/08/2008 10:37:10 AM

      If you can convince the Muslim terrorist organizations to give peace a chance it might work. But until then I'm going to back the guys who are out there fighting the good fight instead of pretending that we can sit idle while our buildings are dropped on our heads.

      • Posted By: maxwellinformed @ 09/08/2008 10:49:50 AM

        You mean like GW. Did he ever figure out what happened to that goat?

  • Posted By: Karajna @ 09/08/2008 10:48:39 AM

    As unnecessary as it normally should be, here in Kenya we are engaged in the American elections more aggressively than we did with our own last year - for obvious reasons. There is no illusion, however that we have no stake in the whole process. I think Sarah Palin is a greater threat to Democrats than Barack Obama is to Republicans. Inexperienced and shallow as she reportedly is on core issues during this election, she brings in youth, grace and simplicity on one hand, and rough edges that might get admirable to voters her age and below. I am personally considering 'defecting' to her side; let her make a good show during debates and I am game!

  • Posted By: NewsWkDickG @ 09/08/2008 8:45:03 AM

    The McCain-Palin ticket offers a perplexing image. John McCain really just wants to retire as having been president and shows signs that he is close to being there, even finishing a first term could be a challenge. That presents the prospect of Sarah Palin as president and that is really scary and not just because of her significant lack of applicable experience. As she describes herself, she is ???a pit bull with lipstick???, an aggressive, feisty and arrogant personality that demonstrates little knack or taste for diplomacy. She is extreme in everything. She bans books from the library, bans sex education in the high school, has the reputation for demanding everything be her way and then even the Republican powers are afraid to have her be a known quantity as they keep her from the media. She is being constantly coached by Senator Lieberman, by Bush???s speech writers and by image people hoping to make her presentable and only appears at controlled appearances where she can???t be questioned. They may be satisfied that she would be a good puppet for them but what about for us? For eight years we heard Bush???s speeches, often impressive, and yet we only have to look around to see what that has really cost us; now they are writing her speeches and expect us to be moved by them. Do we really want what that brings, being more of the same or even worse? It would seem that to vote for McCain-Palin one would have to be a certifiable masochistic lunatic. A little strong on the criticism? Really, I wonder.

    • Posted By: blackcourt @ 09/08/2008 9:39:53 AM

      What books did she ban? There is rumor that she considered some of them to be offensive... but thats alot different than banning books. Your attempted portrayal of the future Vice President of this country is off the mark revealing your bias on the issue. If you can't discuss the issues honestly, please don't discuss them. Spreading lies and using half truths is not the way to make an argument.

      • Posted By: jridsd @ 09/08/2008 10:47:32 AM

        Quote from a citizen in Wasilla - "While Sarah was Mayor of Wasilla she tried to fire our highly respected City Librarian because the Librarian refused to consider removing from the library some books that Sarah wanted removed. City residents rallied to the defense of the City Librarian and against Palin???s attempt at out-and-out censorship, so Palin backed down and withdrew her termination letter. People who fought her attempt to oust the Librarian are on her enemies list to this day."

  • Posted By: Rametyn @ 09/08/2008 10:43:33 AM

    Well, all the over blown hype over Obama has finally come and gone for Democrats. Warned over and over again about how this was going to end up after all of the "empty promises" were finally revealed to be just that, they have mindlessly followed him through every change on position he had given--even now, saying that he would recind the tax cuts if there was a recession. Hmmm, sounds like he is now agreeing that the Bush tax cuts help with economic stimulation.
    People are finally seeing right through his say anything to win strategy.
    Mccain leads in every poll, and Obama's numbers have dissapated to almost nothing in every single demographic there is.
    There went your sure thing.
    I hope they keep up the "slander, distort, and spin" tactics that Dems have always used--because it is working wonders for our campaign.
    Always the hypcrites--not even smart enough to realize that they are when they attack Mccain, they are attacking the man that John Kerry invited to be VP on the Democratic ticket--which meant he thought Mccain was more qualified for the Dem VP than any other DEMOCRATIC candidate you had in all of politics.
    To now try and say he is not qualified, just because he is running against the Dem ticket really makes any argument you have look really, really stupid.
    People are not ignorant, and believe what you will, the numbers don't lie.
    Slander politics is a Democratic thing--in the same manner that you don't see Republicans interupting YOUR national convention, or getting arrested for being ridiculously destructive outside the conventon--because Republicans just have more class than that.
    No Republican, not one, acted with such indignity during the DNC--and it just goes to show what side the true nutbags reside on. And you people argue that you possess civil discourse--lol.
    You can say those people don't reflect all Dems--but truth is--no Repub is so vile as your party affiliates--none.
    And now Mccain is pulling ahead anyway--despite all these ridiculous efforts to undermine him.
    That kind of angry Democaratic politics went out in the nineties, and just doesn't work anymore.
    LOL
    And you call yourelves the party of change.
    LOL

  • Posted By: lisaooo @ 09/08/2008 9:40:21 AM

    LoriW: It doesn't sound like you are on the fence at all. Vote McCain then. Pro-life and pro-capital punishment? No, it's not a good enough rationale that criminals committed a crime. That places Palin, or anyone else making that distinction, in the shoes of God deciding that criminals deserve death. It's inconsistent with being pro-life. It is. In any event, it boils down to whether Americans want to buy the same brand of shoes that keep putting out a bad product. If so, go Republican. I, for one, see not much positive there. After Bush and after the convention. What I see positive is this: war hero. He got captured and he survived. Not particularly relevant to the presidency in my book. But we're here talking about Palin and, one thing is clear, I'd not like to see her President or VP about 100 times over in comparison to McCain.

    • Posted By: HolyRoller @ 09/08/2008 9:53:13 AM

      You are a great example of liberal lunacy....you support murder of the totally innocent...yet...protest the execution of, lower than animal criminals. Great logic. Guess that's how ya'll can sympathize with terrorists.

      NOBAMA!!!

      • Posted By: lisaooo @ 09/08/2008 10:03:23 AM

        LOL, when did I say my position on anything? You're....interesting. Go back to church.

        • Posted By: HolyRoller @ 09/08/2008 10:25:06 AM

          Are you telling me I'm wrong, in your opinion, of your position on abortion/death penalty??? Say it...truthfully... and I will apoligize...but that is standard...by the book...liberal agenda....My guess is...your lol was a nervous giggle.

          NOBAMA!!!

    • Posted By: lisaooo @ 09/08/2008 9:55:23 AM

      But, Lori, thanks for the thoughtful response. The reality is that Republicans, in the Bush era (and that era is now), don't know how to play nice. McCain may *want* to reach across party lines, but the behind-the-scenes party people are really pulling his strings. This is why McCain is a shadow of any former maverick self he was. (Was it ever maverick or was it political expediency?) He got beat down in 2000 and then *learned* how to be to get the Republican nomination. He prostituted himself out in the worst way. This is not to say Obama is ANYWHERE near perfect. My vote was for Biden, then Hillary. But none of our choices are perfect, far from it, so we have to go with platforms and party I believe, for the most part. Otherwise we will drive ourselves and others crazy, lining up the pros and cons list of each candidate differently depending upon the wind that weak and our biases. It's even. Now what? I just want better for this country than the crap we have seen so far. McCain is pretty close to McSame. He showed it this election/campaign cycle if you were paying attention in the primary. Politics is all B.S. Palin is not a breath of fresh air but politically conniving and ambitious as the next person.

  • Posted By: lisaooo @ 09/08/2008 10:06:22 AM

    HolyRoller: Very Christian of you to call Andrea Mitchell ugly. Forget to vote, please.

    • Posted By: HolyRoller @ 09/08/2008 10:18:02 AM

      She IS ugly. Inside AND out. She needs to be fired...for impersonating a real journalist.

      NOBAMA!!!

  • Posted By: Omaar @ 09/08/2008 10:17:39 AM

    When the GOP held its Alaska caucus on Feb. 5, Palin didn't bother to endorse a candidate, despite personal appeals from Huckabee and Mitt Romney, her fellow social conservatives. She had never met or spoken to John McCain.

    But she indignantly dismissed his opposition to drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge as the politically correct???yet wrong???position of "Eastern politicians." Palin finally got the chance to meet McCain at a gathering of Republican governors in Washington, D.C., in mid-February. Weeks later, even after the other Republican contenders had dropped out of the race, Palin still had not endorsed McCain.

    Preparing to go onstage March 3 in Los Angeles, at NEWSWEEK's Women's Leadership Forum, Palin was eager to quiz another governor, Janet Napolitano of Arizona, on her impressions of her state's senior senator. Palin said she still had "a lot of questions" to get answered about her party's presumptive nominee before she could back him.



  • Posted By: RO in Reno @ 09/08/2008 9:57:23 AM

    That Palin would mock Obama as a community organizer speaks volumes.

    Community organizers are motivated by commpassion and concern for the community, and as the community goes so goes the country, making it a better place and benifiting a broader spectrum of people.

    That Palin has no compassion for the community or the country for that matter is obvious and she has the record to prove it.
    Her agenda is drilling and more drilling, and over turning Roe v Wade long the Republican mantra.

    • Posted By: HolyRoller @ 09/08/2008 10:16:27 AM

      All the obamamohammeds are upset, that their "messiah" is being mocked...for being a community organizer. Well, if the shoe fits...

      Nobody is mocking community organizers in church basements and community centers across the country working to improve their neighbors' lives. What deserves ridicule is the notion that Hussein's brief stint as a South Side rabble-rouser for tax-subsidized, partisan nonprofits qualifies as executive experience you can believe in.

      What deserves derision is "community organizing" that relies on a community of homeless people and ex-cons to organize for the purpose of registering dead people to vote, shaking down corporations and using the race card as a bludgeon.

      And Jesus was not a community organizer. He is the Messiah......Hussein Obama IS NOT.

      NOBAMA!!!

  • Posted By: SEA Observer @ 09/08/2008 10:15:12 AM

    Hey guys, there are rumors that Obama is dropping Biden and taken up Hillary as VP. What do you think of it???

  • Posted By: jane f @ 09/08/2008 9:54:46 AM

    Here are a FEW of Senator Obama's accomplishments in the State an U.S. Senate:

    Obama helped pass the 2007 Ethics Reform Law, which curbed the influence of lobbyists and was described as the ???Most Sweeping Since Watergate.???

    Obama and Lugar passed Law Boosting U.S. Efforts To Keep WMDs And Other Dangerous Weapons Out Of The Hands Of Terrorists. In 2006, Obama and Lugar introduced The Cooperative Proliferation Detention Act.

    Obama passed the Illinois State Gift Ban Act ???Heralded As the Most Sweeping Good-Government Legislation in Decades.???

    Obama and Coburn Passed A Bill Creating A ???Google-like??? Database For The Public To Search Details About Federal Funding Awards.

    Obama Passed Law Ensuring That Wounded Veterans Recovering In Military Hospitals Do Not Have To Pay For Their Meals Or Phone Calls To Family Members.

    Obama Proposals Providing Improvements In Health Care For Recovering Soldiers Were Passed Into Law, Including Requirements For Post-Deployment Mental Health Screenings And National Study On The Needs Of Iraq War Veterans.

    Obama Worked With Republicans To Pass Legislation, Which Became Law, Improving And Increasing Services For Homeless Veterans.

    Obama Passed Bipartisan Legislation That Expanded Health Care Coverage To 154,000 Residents, Including 70,000 Children.

    Obama Passed A Bill Creating $100 Million Earned Income Tax Credit As A Member Of The Minority Party In The Illinois Senate.

    Obama Passed Near-Unanimous Death Penalty Overhaul Package.

    • Posted By: HolyRoller @ 09/08/2008 10:13:10 AM

      VERY COMMON KNOWLEDGE...the vast majority of bills in Illinois Senate, with his name....were concocted by Emil Jones. His self-proclaimed "Godfather". The only things he ever fought for, were....help for good buddy Rezko and to maintain the practice of infanticide. Rest of the time, he voted either PRESENT or OOPs.

      NOBAMA!!!

  • Posted By: SEA Observer @ 09/08/2008 10:04:09 AM

    MSNBC execs boot Keith Olbermann, Chris Matthews from political night duties after network finishes dead last in ratings during two weeks of political conventions.

    I wonder if they see this coming???

  • Posted By: bammer @ 09/08/2008 7:57:07 AM

    ***Associated Press reports that MSNBC's news anchorman Keith Olbermann, Newsweek's best lapdog, has been reassigned by NBC, at the direction of the parent company General Electric.
    Keith has been offered his pick of new duties at NBC, so he could fulfill his $4
    million contract with NBC, but he will be released from the MSNBC news
    organization.



    As an NBC executive stated, "This is the elegent solution that NBC has been
    seeking. This will allow Keith to continue to grow as an individual, help with
    anger management issues, and help Keith become more centered on the world around
    him instead of on past, present, or future politicians or the destructive
    obsessions with other news anchors."



    An NBC Staffer, though un-substantatiated, said "In order to reverse ratings
    problems vis-a-via other cable news outlets, we feel that Keith will be better
    able to drive new audience segments among the more mature American audiences
    that would love to see Keith featured in some of our newest nightly reality
    shows or daily soaps, the fastest growing audience in the post-cable environment
    for the NBC family of shows."



    Keith will be offered several plum assignments within NBC:



    * America's Toughest Jobs - Alaska North Shore Edition - which features
    wildcatting on an ANWR drilling rig, field dressing caribou and moose, Snow
    machining mechanic, Ice road trucking, and King Crab fishing as the Greenist
    Greenhorn on earth.



    * The Biggest Losers- Arctic Circle Edition - As the new game show host of this
    show, hosted in both Alaska and Siberia, Keith will offer his "patented",
    mean-spirited, drill sergeant-like encouragement to literally drop the whale
    blabber fat off of both Alaskan eskimos and the well fed campers of the new
    Russian gulags, featuring Georgian refugees.



    * LipStick Jungle - He will be trying out for Wolf-the pool boy, Chris-limo
    driver, Eugene- the body waxer, or Rachel, the bis-sexual exotic massage artist.



    * Days of our Lives- Will Audition for the only appropriate spot available for
    Keith's unique talents ---- the mad familty partriarch Steve Holmes, who has
    just come out of a 20 year coma from some unknown STD's.



    * The Office - Keith could be Steve Carell's new suppressed J. Atler-Ego, in
    which Keith appears to Carell's character at night, similar to the mother in
    "Sisters", to tell him, to his surprise, that each of his staff members are the
    Worst Persons in the World.


    • Posted By: HolyRoller @ 09/08/2008 9:57:39 AM

      Too fuuunny. Now, if they would do something about Andrea Mitchell. At least don't show her face. She is ONE UGLY WOMAN.

      NOBAMA!!!

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