Struggling School-Age Boys
A new study says parents are right to worry about their sons.
Every other week it seems a new study comes out that adds to our already-formidable arsenal of parental worries. But even by those escalating standards, the report issued last week by the federal government's National Center for Health Statistics contained a jaw-dropper: the parents of nearly one of every five boys in the United States were concerned enough about what they saw as their sons' emotional or behavioral problems that they consulted a doctor or a health-care professional. By comparison, about one out of 10 parents of girls reported these kinds of problems. (See the study here.)
The report confirms what many of us have been observing for some time now: that lots of school-age boys are struggling. And, parents are intensely worried about them.
What is ailing our sons? Some experts suggest we are witnessing an epidemic of ADHD and say boys need more medication. Others say that environmental pollutants found in plastics, among other things, may be eroding their attention spans and their ability to regulate their emotions.
Those experts may be right but I have another suggestion. Let's examine the way our child rearing and our schools have evolved in the last 10 years. Then ask ourselves this challenging question: could some of those changes we have embraced in our families, our communities and our schools be driving our sons crazy?
Instead of unstructured free play, parents now schedule their kids' time from dawn till dusk (and sometimes beyond.) By age 4, an ever-increasing number of children are enrolled in preschool. There, instead of learning to get along with other kids, hold a crayon and play Duck, Duck, Goose, children barely out of diapers are asked to fill out work sheets, learn computation or study Mandarin. The drumbeat for early academics gets even louder when they enter "real" school. Veteran teachers will tell you that first graders are now routinely expected to master a curriculum that, only 15 years ago, would have been considered appropriate for second, even third graders. The way we teach children has changed, too. In many communities, elementary schools have become test-prep factories—where standardized testing begins in kindergarten and "teaching to the test" is considered a virtue. At the same time, recess is being pushed aside in order to provide extra time for reading and math drills. So is history and opportunities for hands-on activities—like science labs and art. Active play is increasingly frowned on—some schools have even banned recess and tag. In the wake of school shootings like the tragedy at Virginia Tech, kids who stretch out a pointer finger, bend their thumb and shout "pow!" are regarded with suspicion and not a little fear.
Our expectations for our children have been ramped up but the psychological and physical development of our children has remained about the same. Some kids are thriving in the changing world. But many aren't. What parents and teachers see—and what this government study now shows—is that the ones who can't handle it are disproportionately boys.
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Member Comments
Posted By: Hope4Equality @ 11/17/2008 1:03:55 PM
Comment: I'm assuming by your user name that you are an attorney. The anti-competitive policies are indicative of a systematic strategy by women's groups against men and therefore boys. This is real and quantifiable. Society recognized that oppression of women resulted in girls having fewer options in life yet there is a total failure that the reciprocal is true. If you are an attorney and are objective then you must certainly understand the inherent discrimination that occurs in family and domestic violence courts. Concentrating on the educational system is displacement of responsibility from the true cause. Vilifying men DOES result in the deterioration of boys AND girls AND society. I would be very interested in hearing from someone with a legal background. I hope your son is doing well.
Posted By: Hope4Equality @ 11/17/2008 12:36:40 PM
Comment: I'm glad this is getting some attention. However the point is off mark. Boys can handle everything girls can handle. So what has changed? Public policies that continuously and systematically alienate men and therefore boys. It's hypocritical that women understood that oppressing them resulted in girls being affected and their outcomes in life altered but it is not recognized that the same holds true for boys. I hope we don't go down the road thinking that it is our educational system that is the problem. Surely that can be improved but poor academic outcomes are a result not a cause (one of many detrimental results of the attack against males). The CAUSE is the policies that virtually make it a disease to be a male. Until we reverse the social agendas of many women's groups that claim to be about equality but are actually about advantage then we will see a continuous and more rapid decline in both boys/men AND our society. Equality should truly be equality and not about advantage. Blaming this outcome on biological differences or the educational system is flat out displacing the responsibility from the real cause. Of course you can take this as just another guy using an issue to make a personal point.
Posted By: nikcal9 @ 11/09/2008 4:18:27 PM
Comment: I truly feel that the author of this article has made some very valid points. I work in a school myself and yes, there is a lot of truth here. Sadly, we have been forced to set aside actually educating our children and instead teaching only to a test. In today's times, we teach wide instead of teaching deep, and that benefits no one. I also agree that it is past time for us all to look at ourselves and honestly evaluate how our time, and more importantly how our children's time is spent in the home. I admit that I have not personally sat down and researched all the statistics regarding the differences in our boys versus our girls, but based on what I have observed over the years, I certainly am not prepared to just write this theory off as "babble". Nikki R. Callahan, What Do They See in Me, that I Don't See in Myself?, www.eloquentbooks.com/WhatDoTheySee.html