My son is 6 years old. At the beginning of the school year I was told he still read at a kindergarten level. I went on a wild search for what was wrong with my son. I found he had a severe phonemic delay ....which also may have been a coincident but he ahd lost his 40% percent of his hearing due to wax accumulation. This probably went on for a few years. Now I am busy sending him off to speech therapy and ...am very sure he is dyslexic. I don't want any label on him but guess what the school teacher says he may not pass grade one. So I am considering having him get his official LDA attached to him so he has a fair chance of making it through the system.
This Christmas I bought an electronic circuilt board meant for 8 years ...he can now configure his own circuit designs yet we toil through school exercises like ' what are ten activities we do in hot weather,....what are 10 foods we eat in the summer.......boring. You know what we really need is alternative learning system based on children's learning patterns. Too young too know where a child's interest lie. I don't think so...As the child at the beginning of this commentary said..why does he need to know about wriiting a business letter. We are still in the same old Little House on the Prairie one room classroom. We need to redesign our school system. It is scary because we don't know where a child's interest lie but for those that are not enjoying their experience in school it is hell . That is where we can start.
Struggling School-Age Boys
A new study says parents are right to worry about their sons.
Member Comments
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Posted By: nigluc @ 01/04/2009 9:41:58 AM
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Posted By: RandleSR39 @ 01/04/2009 12:34:56 AM
This doesn't really have to do anything with the article but... I am a boy and i'm doing good in 8th grade. (straight A's) but just recently i got a detention. Reason being: i forgot my reading book at home for this not School District approved '0' period. we read in here for 20 minutes only because our test scores dropped by 1 point from last year. now i have a 2 hour detention. even my parents think that is dumb. i forgot my boo k at home because i was READING it at HOME. so i was doing EXTRA READING. but no they just have to act dumb. They didnt even give me a chance to explain myself. Also i've noticed that a lot of kids in my so called HONORS classes tap and shake their legs and feet alot. So do i. this is both boys and GIRLS. I dont know whats wrong with these people. Here's another problem with my district:
In all classesHonors/Regular:
Science: they make us learn about the periodic table, chemical reactions of metal ions, astronomy, einsteins theory of relativity etc.
Math: they teach us quadratic function and higher level stuff. Honors: they teach Geometry( i have a regular class in math for having one point under on the last test wtf)
English: how to write a business letter( when am i going to write a business letter at age 13) persuasive essays, fictional narratives( with pre chosen plotsNO CREATIVITY HERE) and other idiotic stuff
History: the only easy stuff like american historical figures
PE : even this is hard: they make us run 2 miles in 8 minutes
Lunch: they give us 3 foods for about 5 dollars(where are we supposed to get this money
And no recess or breaks just lunch and thats only 40+ minutes
ONE WORD ON MY DISTRICT: IDIOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DISTRICT SUCKS ****!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THAT'S WHY THE CHINO VALLEY UNIFIED SCHOOL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -
Posted By: Hope4Equality @ 11/17/2008 12:36:40 PM
I'm glad this is getting some attention. However the point is off mark. Boys can handle everything girls can handle. So what has changed? Public policies that continuously and systematically alienate men and therefore boys. It's hypocritical that women understood that oppressing them resulted in girls being affected and their outcomes in life altered but it is not recognized that the same holds true for boys. I hope we don't go down the road thinking that it is our educational system that is the problem. Surely that can be improved but poor academic outcomes are a result not a cause (one of many detrimental results of the attack against males). The CAUSE is the policies that virtually make it a disease to be a male. Until we reverse the social agendas of many women's groups that claim to be about equality but are actually about advantage then we will see a continuous and more rapid decline in both boys/men AND our society. Equality should truly be equality and not about advantage. Blaming this outcome on biological differences or the educational system is flat out displacing the responsibility from the real cause. Of course you can take this as just another guy using an issue to make a personal point.
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Posted By: nikcal9 @ 11/09/2008 4:18:27 PM
I truly feel that the author of this article has made some very valid points. I work in a school myself and yes, there is a lot of truth here. Sadly, we have been forced to set aside actually educating our children and instead teaching only to a test. In today's times, we teach wide instead of teaching deep, and that benefits no one. I also agree that it is past time for us all to look at ourselves and honestly evaluate how our time, and more importantly how our children's time is spent in the home. I admit that I have not personally sat down and researched all the statistics regarding the differences in our boys versus our girls, but based on what I have observed over the years, I certainly am not prepared to just write this theory off as "babble". Nikki R. Callahan, What Do They See in Me, that I Don't See in Myself?, www.eloquentbooks.com/WhatDoTheySee.html
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Posted By: cadbury @ 11/06/2008 7:29:03 PM
People keep talking about brain differences between boys and girls, and boys being stifled by curricula that favor girls, and boys not being educated "in a way that respects their natural development" - whatever that means!. This "Boy Crisis" stuff is frankly getting tiresome. I have still not seen any convincing evidence that boys, except in extreme socioeconomic conditions, are at a disadvantage in school. If the perceived problem is no recess, parents should demand to reinstate that! If the problem is environmental (e.g., plastics), no policy change will make a difference. Personally, I'm skeptical about this.
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Posted By: CAthinker @ 11/06/2008 12:04:34 AM
My son went to a play centered preschool program, which was part of a lab program at a national university. When our local elementary school assessed him for kindergarten readiness, they were concerned that he didn't have the appropriate skills to start kindergarten. After conferring with his preschool teachers, we elected to put him into school with his age group. Until 7th grade, his teachers called us in every year to talk about how he wasn't reading early enough, wasn't writing detailed enough, wasn't completing his math facts quickly enough. He is now 16, is taking honors and AP classes and reading 1000 pages a month. As a sophmore, scored withing the range that qualifies 11th graders for the National Merit Scholarship competition.
To be fair to educators, they invariably have a short term perspective -- one school year to cover everything the state, county, and district mandate. I had three brothers who were late bloomers and I remembered them every time I had a conversation with school. My brothers carried the feeling of "not measuring up" for a long time. I didn't want my son to feel the same way. -
Posted By: Terryfic @ 10/30/2008 1:15:21 PM
We are drugging our boys without knowing what the real issues are or looking at the whole picture. I know children who have parents who are not parenting and then when children act out, they take them to the doctor and complain that they are ADD.
My nephew was put on medication without proper diagnosis and he was like a zombie while on the medication and did not want to take it. It made his parent happy, but not him. After proper testing (brain scan) they discovered he did not have ADD but in the process developed another disorder from the drugs.
We cannot continue to drug our children and not consider what the outcomes might be. We cannot blame them for reacting to our lack of parenting and reacting to what we put them through. We cannot continue teaching to one style of learning. We cannot allow parents and lay people to diagnose our children and talk doctors into treating something because we are frustrated. We have to look at the whole picture. -
Posted By: makeawish @ 10/10/2008 3:40:56 PM
How does the 1 in 5 boys in trouble statistic compare to say, 30 or 40 years ago? I'd be willing to bet it is the overall environment that has changed and not the boys. We are squeezing everybody into a cubicle .
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Posted By: killham @ 09/30/2008 10:19:38 PM
I believe the pendulum will eventually swing (I hope soon, for the sake of my son and students) but, in the meantime, we parents have to understand our integral role as the major catalysts of change in this realm. Although I love my profession as a teacher, there is no doubt public education tends to be behind the curve in terms of molding educational practice in light of science and hard data. I know not a single teacher who supports NCLB (which is mostly to blame for this rigorous, academic environment) but until parents speak out against it, things will not change. We owe it to our boys and girls to be advocates for learning environments that mold to their natural needs! Even a simple letter to your child's principal, respectfully stating your concerns, would be a step in the right direction.
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Posted By: Busymomkids @ 09/27/2008 4:11:28 PM
As a teacher and a mother of four (3 boys & 1 girl) I think our society has lost touch with what is important. It is much easier to blame others. We as a society are great at the blame game...it is always the schools fault, another child's fault or the state's fault. Instead maybe we should take a minute and look at what has changed drastically over time. If we examine our own families we will find the greatest change may be within the walls of our own homes. TV, Electronics, computers have become our babysitters. Both parents have left the home, leaving children home alone or in the arms of another family to be brought up how they see fit. Remember It Takes a Village to Raise a Child. Well, maybe we should take the mayor out of the picture and start raising our own children again! Our families have replaced family time with time traveling in the car from practice or dance or some other activity. We have lost sight of what it is to relax and enjoy our time we have together. We are too busy to spend time fishing, playing games or just talking. Our children are being brought up in a society where they feel like the universe revolves around them. They feel they deserve to be entertained 24/7. Their lives revolve around electonics that entertain them and parents that serve them. Why on earth do we expect them to be able to sit in a chair for 6-7 hours, have manners and respect those around them....it must be the school fault! Or just maybe we shoudl realize WE ARE RESPONSIBLE for this next generation. Let's stop blaming others and plastic (as stated in this article) and start to look in the mirror and address what our children are lacking in their lives. Shut off the TV, computer & video games and enrich your children's lives with your time and presence. Investing in the lives of your family members is the most important job you have here on earth. No one will remember if you made a big sale, or took them to dinner. You children will remember how you chose to spend your time. Invest in our future by investing into the lives of those who look up to you and love you unconditionally.
There are children that have attention problems and hundreds of other serious problems at school. They sometimes require medications to help better their ability to function in a normal setting. With that said, it is hard to distinguish the children that have problems and children that just have been catered to for they all blend in together. If you sit in on a practice or a classroom you will find that a high percentage of children aren't able to focus, they don't have manners or respect others around them. This is not a problem that can be magically be solved by a prescription, but, I believe it can be solved by bringing back strong family morals and ethics back into the lives of our children. Make the best investment money CAN'T buy invest your time into your family! -
Posted By: heather@celebrationeducation.com @ 09/25/2008 5:06:18 PM
I totally agree with this article. That is why I totally threw out state standards and started my own school where we have no textbooks, tests, grades, or desks. Instead, the children explore, go on field trips, and work on their own projects. The results so far have been amazing! See http://www.celebrationeducation.com/
-Heather Martinson -
Posted By: TheBurg1440 @ 09/23/2008 9:19:10 PM
Continued:
What do you say to the parents who watch their happy, energetic children not be able to get dressed in the morning for school or even on the weekends because they don???t know where to begin? Whose children are not able to complete a simple worksheet because they don't know where to begin and even once they get started they don???t complete it because they loose focus. What do you say to the children who are starting to feel embarrassed and not liking school because they feel that they are stupid and not able to do the work? Children who are not able to communicate their thoughts without getting frustrated because their mind is racing and they can???t organize their thoughts the way they would like.
I???m sure that there are plenty of people who use ADHD as an excuse for poor parenting; but without understanding each individual situation, is generalizing and blanket judging really necessary? How can you criticize a parent when you have not walked a minute in their shoes? Are YOU truly qualified to tell a stranger that they are making a mistake by medicating their child?
Are you able to see this same child who is now excited about school because they consider the work fun and sometimes easy? Are you able to see this same child who now has lots of friends and is no longer withdrawn and embarrassed? Are you able to see this same child who is now capable of getting dressed and ready for school without having to be reminded 6 times about what they are supposed to be doing? Are you able to have conversations with this child about how they are feeling and things that are going on in the world around them? Are you able to sit at the kitchen table and do something as simple as put together a puzzle and talk? Do you see the pride and the feeling of accomplishment in their eyes because this was not possible before?
For some parents who decide to medicate their children it has nothing to do with simply "Letting Boys be Boys" but everything to do with giving your child the opportunity to blossom into the person they always were.
I would be nice to see an article that outlines family situations like mine as I am sure other families are in the same situation yet question their decisions based on comments from people who responded to this blog. I am sure they would like to hear from parents who decided to medicate their children and have no doubt in their minds that they made the best decision for their child. -
Posted By: TheBurg1440 @ 09/23/2008 9:17:37 PM
I went through comment after comment and it is just truly amazing and even angered me a bit seeing just how narrow minded people can be. I would be very interested to know just how many of the people who left comments actually have a son who was diagnosed as ADHD. Based on the comments, I really like how just about every parent is divorced and not spending time with their children. There were so many comments about the disbelief that ADHD exists and how Loving your children or Spending time with them, turning off the TV and allowing your child time to play is the simple cure for all. What do you say to parents who are not divorced, don't watch TV at all during the week, eat dinner at the family table, read to their children and their children read to them and who spend every minute they are not at work with their children.
What do you say to a parent who has a child who does not misbehave in school, does not disrupt his class and has plenty of recess and breaks during his day (Art, Music, Recess and PE are all still part of his day). What do you say to parents who monitor what their children eat and teach their children the value of a healthy diet? Parents who only allow their children Organic Milk, Water and a cup of 100% Juice with dinner. These are the same parents who monitor the ingredients in the foods they give their children; so is simply changing the diet going to work? What do you say to the parents who disciple their children and who hold their children accountable for their own actions. -
Posted By: jvaughn504 @ 09/20/2008 9:26:33 AM
There are many different factors that may contribute to a child's, girl or boy, need for more. Sure things have changed in our world. Things have always been changing in our world. We cannot point to one solid answer for every child. Each child and their experiences and their environment play a role in who our children become. We as parents need to take responsibility for our children. We as a community should understand that every child is different. It is when we are all thought of as the same and treated as such when we make a difference into a problem
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Posted By: Si18 @ 09/17/2008 2:24:02 PM
Sorry for the double post...
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Posted By: Si18 @ 09/17/2008 2:19:33 PM
Why is everyone blaming TV and video games? That's not the problem at all. I personally have played video games since I was born, literally (my first memory is playing Zelda on the Nintendo with my family). I grew up with TV and learned most of what I know about the world from it (Sesame Street anyone?). I've been online since I was 9. And I'm perfectly fine aside from mild depression, which stems more from my experiences with other people such as my father than it does from "watching too much TV". Its unfair to use technology as an scapegoat based solely on unfounded judgements, stereotypes, and fears. The problem doesn't lie in how much TV or games or internet your little ones are using, its how much personal interaction they get with people and that is YOUR fault, not the technology. You are the one putting them there and not supervising them or interacting with them. Yes, technology does have its side effects, but it can easily be mended by learning about your child and their individual needs. If you see they are becoming too ingrained with their video games, take them out to play. If you see them spending too much time in social networking sites and not enough time with their friends, set up some time where they can go with their friends. Its your responsibility to raise your child right, not the media and not the government's.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with games or TV or the internet in and of itself. It is a valid medium just like books or paintings. It requires plenty of brain power, creativity, and intelligence to play a game or watch TV; just because the pictures are provided for you and you aren't reading doesn't mean you don't have to actively comprehend and discern what is going on. There are no studies that says "blinking monitors mess with your brains" (TV has been operating like that since it first came out) and the studies that do mention the physiological effects of TV on the brain were inconclusive. Like anything in this world, its dangerous in high doses and its your responsibility as a parent to keep those doses at a level that's appropriate for your child. -
Posted By: Si18 @ 09/17/2008 2:19:02 PM
Why is everyone blaming TV and video games? That's not the problem at all. I personally have played video games since I was born, literally (my first memory is playing Zelda on the Nintendo with my family). I grew up with TV and learned most of what I know about the world from it (Sesame Street anyone?). I've been online since I was 9. And I'm perfectly fine aside from mild depression, which stems more from my experiences with other people such as my father than it does from "watching too much TV". Its unfair to use technology as an scapegoat based solely on unfounded judgements, stereotypes, and fears. The problem doesn't lie in how much TV or games or internet your little ones are using, its how much personal interaction they get with people and that is YOUR fault, not the technology. You are the one putting them there and not supervising them or interacting with them. Yes, technology does have its side effects, but it can easily be mended by learning about your child and their individual needs. If you see they are becoming too ingrained with their video games, take them out to play. If you see them spending too much time in social networking sites and not enough time with their friends, set up some time where they can go with their friends. Its your responsibility to raise your child right, not the media and not the government's.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with games or TV or the internet in and of itself. It is a valid medium just like books or paintings. It requires plenty of brain power, creativity, and intelligence to play a game or watch TV; just because the pictures are provided for you and you aren't reading doesn't mean you don't have to actively comprehend and discern what is going on. There are no studies that says "blinking monitors mess with your brains" (TV has been operating like that since it first came out) and the studies that do mention the physiological effects of TV on the brain were inconclusive. Like anything in this world, its dangerous in high doses and its your responsibility as a parent to keep those doses at a level that's appropriate for your child. -
Posted By: dr.dswanson @ 09/17/2008 11:27:57 AM
This is a neat article, it touches on some key facts that have transpired over the last 30 years. 30 years ago there was no such thing as ADD or ADHD. There were very few psychosocial abnormal behaviors with the exception of those children from broken or battered homes. Parents would parent their children, there was school time, work time, and play time, all of which required some activity. However, only one may have required children to sit for periods of time and that of course was school work. Not true today... Also 30 years ago parents would say STAY OUT OF TROUBLE and that revolved around the three areas of a child life, school, work, or play. If they didn't stay out of trouble at school everyone knew the principal had a paddle. And then when you got home your punishment would continue by the hand of there parents. Do you see why there was no ADD or ADHD. An outburst of unacceptable behavior was dealt with not always with the threat of pain but firmly and quickly. Today there's no reform we've taken that power away from the teachers and administration and then when they do their job a parent will say, my child would never do anything like that. No one supports each other and it's difficult. Children are expected to sit still all day long, no recess, no active play time at home, and no daily chores. So you can see why when a child gets to school and all his/her friends are around, to them it must be active social time. For sure, hard for them to concentrate thus giving them inappropriate diagnosis of ADD or ADHD. The answer to today's problem is simple, parent your child in such a way that when they are unable to stay out of trouble, they know immediately that they did wrong and are given an appropriate punishment. Secondly give your child unstructured free time, out of the house, away from the computers and video games. Let them be creative it strengthen their developing brains. And always give a child this bit of advice, STAY OUT OF TROUBLE, because if you are consistent with the first part of this solution your child will do their best to avoid such a guaranteed punishment.
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Posted By: annieengy @ 09/16/2008 5:02:55 PM
As a teacher for 23 years I have seen the gambit of problems with boys. I don't have a pat answer and because I'm a teacher no one is asking me anyway! To fix the problems in our schools we need to ask the teachers, but no one will. Despite the Oprah teacher accalades and politicians thanking their third grade teachers for changing thier lives, a teacher is still only two steps ahead of garbage men on the work totem pole. Until the addministration and school boards realize that boys are fundementally different from girls (Hey wasn't men are from Mars, woman are from venus a big hit not to long ago?) there will be little change. It has been years since some big muckity-muck said that boys age slower than girls, but we still insist that they start school together. Also, the whole daycare bill thing comes into play...$$$ it cost big bucks to send kids to daycare, the faster they enter school, Preschool, the sess parents shell out. But we can not blaim them for this, no one better have blamed me. It is a hard question and no easy answers but someone better start asking the people who spent the most time with these children...Kinder teachers.......We have a few ideas.
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Posted By: lynwang @ 09/16/2008 2:48:23 AM
i am chinese and live in asia till i was 28 years old. Graduating from college in Asia and then completing my graduate studies in the US, I observed that Asian kids may have the advantage we appear to have in school because parents pay a lot closer attention to kids and watch their activities, eating, playing, watching tv much closer than some american parents have time to do. as a full-time working parent of 2 boys born in the us, i see the difference between how i was raised versus how i am raising my boys (also how my husband who is american raises them too). americans work too hard and have too little help (so much of life here is Do it yourself), there is so little time left for child rearing. And we wonder what's going wrong?
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Posted By: K-Bot @ 09/15/2008 12:21:13 PM
Meanwhile, the Japanese, the Chinese, the Pakistanis, Russians, Germans, et al are licking their chops hoping our boys (and girls) will continue to flail while they keep their noses to the grindstone. Eventually they'll swoop in and take their places at American universities and American workplaces while we sit back and wonder what happened.
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Posted By: Bertie Russell @ 09/12/2008 6:04:33 PM
"I certainly don???t see the necessity of hyper-accelerated elementary school programs. I seriously question their value, too, if they don???t let kids be kids. (Sometimes, I think that elementary school should be lightly academic, but then for middle school kids should just go out into the woods for three years...)"
Response: While I mostly agree with you, I do think that there should be the option of "hyper-accelerated elementary school programs". While most kids might want to play at that age and not focus as much on academics (which, as you said, is perfectly fine), there are still some who thrive on academic rigor. I know that when I was in elementary school, I was bored out of my mind with the standard classes, and would have loved an accelerated program. I finally have been able to skip two grades and get into the high school A.P. classes, and I don't know what I would do without the extra level of material. You shouldn't just assume that all kids just want to "be kids"...although a lot has been said on this forum about stereotyping genders and being sexist, there has been little criticism of the equally rampant ageism. Without any pressure at all from my parents or my school, I enjoyed advanced schoolwork. Such programs should still be an option for those who want it, without being forced down the throats of those who don't. -
Posted By: Susiejose @ 09/12/2008 3:33:31 PM
To Johnsonshoe:
Thank you for pointing this out, i am no expert! Thank you also sir for bringing MY POINT validity. I accept that men are designed to perform with strengh. I believe that boys will be boys i also believe that girls will do girl things! My point exactly is that boys CAN do girl things it is just that they are under too much pressure to be masculine, or their dads and other boys will make fun of them. This is the problem! By the way your balls do not measure your masculenity they are a fascinating house for your little juniors to thrive and be happy! -
Posted By: Redgreen @ 09/12/2008 9:27:47 AM
Thank you America for having some sense! I am a teacher and the No Child Left Behind Act is a mess. They are expecting 100 % from children which is ridiculous because people have different abilities. you would't expect all students who take music to play concert piano.
I have three teenagers all different personalities who hate their high school. It's too big. Unless you are a football player you are a big zero. Many times they have commented they wish they were back in elementary school where people were nice and learning was fun.It's no wonder public school teachers put their children in private schools. P.S. America quite denying that boys are not different than girls. -
Posted By: Squib @ 09/12/2008 7:55:05 AM
I'm almost 30 years old and I still recall the rapid decline of my education years. I remember Kidergarden and 1st grade being fun, exciting, playful. I remember sitting in class and getting glue all over my hands as I made who knows what. I actually still somehow have the "thing" I made in kidergarden. Just a bunch of wood scraps that were glued together to make something. Wood scraps! But those would be considered a hazard in today's schools. I remember recess clearly. Going outside, chasing the girls (but don't catch one, they have cooties!), playing tag, dodgeball, 4square, jumping rope. Swings, slides and monkeybars. Last time I drove by my elementary school, I don't recall seeing most of what I used to play on still being there.
Second grade I had my first government standardized test. The next one was in fourth grade. Then 6th grade saw the decent into test hell. Every year from that point forward there was a test that had to be passed in order to move to the next grade. By my Junior year, I was taking at least two of these tests PER YEAR. One in the fall (to see if the student is taking to the curriculum) and one in the spring (to see if the teacher is teaching material... i.e. The Test). My senior year I ended having to finish in summer school because I was skipping class so much that I failed my english class. And yet... I passed all the others even though I was skipping 2-3 days a week. I can't think of anyone old enough to be my parent that could've passed doing that because the material was being taught, not tests. And standardized tests are easy. They have tricks to them that will all but guaruntee you pass them.
To this day I miss my earliest school years. For no other reason than they were fun. The direction things have turned is embarassing as a nation. Taking recess away? Even the Japanese have mandatory activities OUTSIDE and they go to school six days a week in a lot of areas.
When I have a child of my own, the first time I get a call from a teacher telling me my son has been acting like a boy, I'll laugh, tell her I'm happy he did, and take him out for pizza that night. Don't punish our children because you're taking away what makes them who they are. -
Posted By: qualls7912 @ 09/12/2008 7:54:31 AM
I am a 21 year veteran teacher of primary age children. There is indeed a disturbing trend in limiting unstructured "play" in our schools. Unfortuntely the hands of teachers and administrators are tied because of the guidelines set by our state boards of education.
We are also teaching to the test. We hate it but the alternative is failure, at least according to the No Child legislation. Schools are 'under the gun' to perform well on state assessments that are incredibly unrealistic. This not only stresses the staff of the school but the children as well. When we have children who have trouble sleeping, have stomach-aches and teachers in the emergency room because of high blood pressure at test time then something is wrong.
Schools are not opposed to high standards or accountability. We just need to have a more balanced and realistic approach. Children are not walking talking test scores. Let's bring childhood back to America, -
Posted By: Squib @ 09/12/2008 7:48:11 AM
I'm almost 30 years old and I still recall the rapid decline of my education years. I remember Kidergarden and 1st grade being fun, exciting, playful. I remember sitting in class and getting glue all over my hands as I made who knows what. I actually still somehow have the "thing" I made in kidergarden. Just a bunch of wood scraps that were glued together to make something. Wood scraps! But those would be considered a hazard in today's schools. I remember recess clearly. Going outside, chasing the girls (but don't catch one, they have cooties!), playing tag, dodgeball, 4square, jumping rope. Swings, slides and monkeybars. Last time I drove by my elementary school, I don't recall seeing most of what I used to play on still being there.
Second grade I had my first government standardized test. The next one was in fourth grade. Then 6th grade saw the decent into test hell. Every year from that point forward there was a test that had to be passed in order to move to the next grade. By my Junior year, I was taking at least two of these tests PER YEAR. One in the fall (to see if the student is taking to the curriculum) and one in the spring (to see if the teacher is teaching material... i.e. The Test). My senior year I ended having to finish in summer school because I was skipping class so much that I failed my english class. And yet... I passed all the others even though I was skipping 2-3 days a week. I can't think of anyone old enough to be my parent that could've passed doing that because the material was being taught, not tests. And standardized tests are easy. They have tricks to them that will all but guaruntee you pass them.
To this day I miss my earliest school years. For no other reason than they were fun. The direction things have turned is embarassing as a nation. Taking recess away? Even the Japanese have mandatory activities OUTSIDE and they go to school six days a week in a lot of areas.
When I have a child of my own, the first time I get a call from a teacher telling me my son has been acting like a boy, I'll laugh, tell her I'm happy he did, and take him out for pizza that night. Don't punish our children because you're taking away what makes them who they are. -
Posted By: lizbet @ 09/12/2008 6:29:56 AM
'Boys will be boys' has been interpreted by the current leaders and shapers of the young as 'boys willl be bullies' . This lets leaders and those in charge of policies add the modern sylogism 'so let's medicate 'em all' It would be better to go with separate sex schooling before the hysterical last resort of medicating the boys out of their natural inclinations. Like that 'I am woman' crowd used by Soltate1, below. Excellently put. In my opinion this regard of male children is feminism gone diabolical.
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Posted By: Nuriddeen @ 09/12/2008 3:20:09 AM
Kids especially boys need to be able to have time to play. And when a boy "acts up" maybe he should be given some time to run around instead of time in the corner. Boys are no more wild they they use to be, society is just less accepting of their behavior. Give these kids a break and take them to the park! Kids are supposed to have tons of energy.
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Posted By: Soltate1 @ 09/12/2008 2:06:44 AM
Our young boys are having sociological problems because they don't have enough recess time? Or because the elementary school curriculum is too demanding? ADHD? You forgot another possibility: Perhaps they were deprived of Cherrios at a young age, We need to get a government grant and a team of researchers on that.
If our public school system was actually teaching our young people, we wouldn't have slipped from near the top in the world, to out of the top ten, globally. Unless, by "demanding education," you mean "gender-sensitivity" classes, or the kindergarten condom class.
How about just letting boys be male, and quit demanding they put on crash helments, knee-pads, safety belts, eye-safety goggles and a backing up, alert beeper on their training-wheel bicycles? The minute a boy DOES show a little "maleness", we want to drug them up, and make them more passive.
How about letting them live in a world where the sexes are actually different. Maybe he doesn't need to grow up in a world with government-mandated, baby changing tables in his public restroom. Genetically, he is a boy, a male, soon to be a man, regardless of how many times he's pressed not to act like one. Perhaps his male role in the world has been so far removed by the "I AM WOMAN" crowd, he's embarrassed and confused where he's supposed to fit in.
Just drug him up, show him how to put that condom on a banana, and don't forget to remind him that women are his competition, not someone he needs to protect and defend. Perhaps if we just gave them dolls to play with instead of tractors, they'd finally get it. -
Posted By: Soltate1 @ 09/12/2008 1:50:00 AM
Our young boys are having sociological problems because they don't have enough recess time? Or because the elementary school curriculum is too demanding? ADHD? You forgot another possibility: Perhaps they were deprived of Cherrios at a young age, We need to get a government grant and a team of researchers on that.
If our public school system was actually teaching our young people, we wouldn't have slipped from near the top in the world, to out of the top ten, globally. Unless, by "demanding education," you mean "gender-sensitivity" classes, or the kindergarten condom class.
How about just letting boys be male, and quit demanding they put on crash helments, knee-pads, safety belts, eye-safety goggles and a backing up, alert beeper on their training-wheel bicycles? The minute a boy DOES show a little "maleness", we want to drug them up, and make them more passive.
How about letting them live in a world where the sexes are actually different. Maybe he doesn't need to grow up in a world with government-mandated, baby changing tables in his public restroom. Genetically, he is a boy, a male, soon to be a man, regardless of how many times he's pressed not to act like one. Perhaps his male role in the world has been so far removed by the "I AM WOMAN" crowd, he's embarrassed and confused where he's supposed to fit in.
Just drug him up, show him how to put that condom on a banana, and don't forget to remind him that women are his competition, not someone he needs to protect and defend. Perhaps if we just gave them dolls to play with instead of tractors, they'd finally get it. -
Posted By: waynesworld @ 09/12/2008 1:22:12 AM
It could be that politically correct ideals are finally taking its toll. Boys are not allowed to play like, well boys!
They are suppose to play with kids that they do not want to play with.
Just a father of four with my 10 year old son left in school. -
Posted By: Archstormangel @ 09/12/2008 1:09:30 AM
I'm a freshman in highschool. I lost my recess in the third grade completely, and in the second, I went out maybe, a grand total of two times. I'm a girl, but I feel that terrible urge to do something all the time in class. They're loading me up - besides the fact that I have all Honors Gifted classes and 1 AP class and I'm coming to regret that decision to take all those classes. I'm overwhelmed, and find myself working till past midnight. I'd be doing homework now, only I can't find the online textbook my Algebra II teacher told me to use. TT.TT The point is, yes, both girls and boys need recess and are losing it drastically. :/ And some people are saying 'oh, what's wrong with, that? so what? finally girls get favored', but that's reverse sxism. :/
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Posted By: lizburke4 @ 09/12/2008 12:54:20 AM
All kids need the freedom to play and release a little energy. They shouldnt be expected to sit in a classroom all day. They function better when they have that time to relax and exercise.
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Posted By: lizburke4 @ 09/12/2008 12:52:01 AM
we are the ones who are making them incapable of sitting through a class, or maybe even the ones who are beating
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Posted By: lizburke4 @ 09/12/2008 12:51:48 AM
I think this goes for girls too. The whole idea that boys are by nature more rambunctious is b.s. The reason boys are having trouble in structured environments more than girls are is simply because from the time they are born, girls are taught to "play nice." They arent allowed to fight and wander and do a lot of the things that little boys do - just because we think they can't handle it.
There are studies that indicate boys spatial intelligence being better simply because they are allowed to wander further from their mothers.
So what am I saying through all of this? The problem isn't that we're trapping boys inside schools and causing them to go crazy. Kids need the freedom to explore - boys and girls alike. Buying boys toy guns and allowing them to fight "because they're boys," and this whole "boys will be boys" mentality in general is what is damaging our sons.
Think about how many men you know who have intimacy issues, or anger issues, or who have no idea how to hold a baby. This isn't biological, people. This is learned behavior and we are teaching it. You'll see the same thing from girls who allowed to wander and fight and misbehave a little more than other girls.
This article fails to examine the social conditioning behind these behaviors. -
Posted By: Tena d @ 09/12/2008 12:01:48 AM
Boys need space to be boys. They do not need to be fixed the just need to run, play and explore.Over fixing boys is giving them the belief they are broken, they aren't they are just not girls. Yeah we need boys to be boys so they can grow up to be awesome men. Let's just llet them grow as boys,t as they mature they can be fully all they were ment to be.
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Posted By: johnsonshoe @ 09/11/2008 11:29:25 PM
Sarahasm wrote, "Does that mean he needs more mental health services? Or do we need to dedicate more time and money to evaluate academic achievement? I think the answer is no. We need to change the way we teach boys. We need more active lesson plans. We need to attract more well-rounded, experienced, and (may I even suggest?) male teachers. Our boys (and girls) need more time outside in nature. More science!!!! The reading, writing and critical thinking will follow"
That's not new, thats old school. And your wrong about only one thing, it WOULD show up positively in test scores.
And Diane727 a kid who can't keep his hands to himself in Kindergarden is NORMAL. You are falling into the school's trap. Medication won't make him feel normal, it will make the school's job easier and your child will be "under control" When your child tells you "he's a bad kid" He's not coming up with that himself. Would anyone like a place that constantly corrects you and sends you to the principal's office?
Before medication, I would talk to your own pediatrician, not a school nurse or physican.. If you're strong enough to not let others tell you what is normal, it may be in his best interest to start school a year later when he develops more. Starting Kindergarden one year later, isn't going to hurt the boy and could be very helpful. As long as you don't lament over it. -
Posted By: Razmo @ 09/11/2008 11:15:55 PM
I work in an Elementary School. This article is completly true. Due to the "No Child Left Behind" act, the demand on the teachers is unbelievable.Which comes from the School District, which comes from the State, and so on and so on. You see where I am headed. It is true that all we teach is to test! I find it incredibly frustrating and sad, especially for the children. But, our hands are tied. The threat is, if your school district does not reach said scores from testing, ect. You will then lose State funding; because, obviously you are not teaching the children and they are not getting good scores. So in turn your School District gets a bad or failing report card! Look out if the scores are not brought up, bye, bye money. This means loss of jobs, your school's name goes in a paper and on the internet for everyone to see just how bad or good your school has done. You don't want everyone and anyone seeing that you are not up to par. So the answer is...TEACH THE CHILDREN TO TEST!! Shove as much information into their little heads as you possibly can in a 7 hour day, 4 to 5 days a week. So there isn't time for Art or Play or getting to learn how to play or grow with other kids. That is a fact. No matter how wrong or right or sad, that's just how it is. There isn't enough time a day for alot of the nurturing that you and I may have gotten when we were kids, not that they don't care or aren't kind, it's just different; because, I remember how it was when I was in school. The District is monotoring and breathing down the teachers necks to GET THERE SCORES HIGHER! The stress on teachers today is truely unbelievable. They have only so much time to get all the information out there to the kids because, guess what...were testing again. Didn't do so good first go round, well, you have x amount of time until the next testing time. Three times to test to get everyone to get a passing score. No time for anything else. Our kids don't have the chance to be kids anymore and do alot of the fun things that you and I did as children in
school. It is enough to send an adult over the edge, let alone a 4 year old, and on up! The No Child Left Behind Act, well, the intent was well meaning but, honestly it is just something that is to much pressure for those involed that have to try to make it happen, not just come up with the act itself, but now achieve what the act is. It's no surprise that our children need medication, just as it is no surpise as a whole most of our society needs medication. It is good to have high expectations but, they have to be realist as well. I wish I had the answers but, unfortunatly there is none in sight. Each year the scores for the children to pass these test keep going up!! More pressure on teachers, more stress on children, less free time to be a kid. -
Posted By: hey_you @ 09/11/2008 11:06:29 PM
boys naturally have a tendancy towards rough and unstructured play. This is historically how we / they learn leadership skills. taking that away from them with such a structured schedule can only be detrimental towards their social developement. (something schools notoriously neglect to consider) It's all well and good to be acedemically sound. However a leader has strong social skills and leans on those with the smarts beneath him.. Today's scholastic structure does not do anything to help young boys excel in this arena.
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Posted By: sarahsam @ 09/11/2008 11:01:12 PM
I have an eight year old boy who is a wonderful kid. He's also what I like to call a "big space" kid. He can pop a wheelie on his mountain bike and hop a curb better than most teenagers and men, for that matter. He is also extremely adept with tools and construction projects. He managed to remove a dryer door with a screw driver at age three. He just installed the four-bike rack into our hitch. My son has also been called an "up" kid. His first big art project was a 3-D painting of a ladder going up into the sky. A friend suggested that he's just one of those kids that likes to view the world from above. He happens to love climbing. At a very early age I would find him sitting on an arbor over our fence waving at the neighbors. I was mortified, both for his safety and for what the neighbors would think. But, I think he needs to be up, above, being physical, and evaluating the world below. He???s also very social. He loves to interact with the other kids. Maybe even, challenge them a little on the soccer field. I admit he needs constant attention. Unlike his sister, he doesn???t enjoy just hanging out, reading a book, beading, or making believe. He even has a tendency to bug her and make her quiet, alone time, less quite and less alone. Instead of joining her in a mentally challenging activity, he would prefer collecting and freezing bees or jumping on the trampoline with his sister. So to no surprise, he doesn???t overachieve at reading. Sure, he can read. His handwriting is improving. And guess what? He is quick at math. And unsurprisingly, recess is his favorite part of school. In addition to being a social, big space, up kid, I like to think of him as a new age guy. This summer he began baking cookies, grilling hot dogs, and his favorite, mowing the lawn. Knowing all of this, do you wonder why school has been a bit challenging? I???m convinced my boy belongs on a farm with his academic education coming later in life. He???s meant to be outside, experiencing nature, navigating social situations and uncontrolled risks. Is he going to go college? Hell yeah! Is he going to succeed? Hell yeah! Will he do it in the same way his sister does? Will he reach academic milestones in the predetermined time or order? Likely the answer is no. Does that mean he needs more mental health services? Or do we need to dedicate more time and money to evaluate academic achievement? I think the answer is no. We need to change the way we teach boys. We need more active lesson plans. We need to attract more well-rounded, experienced, and (may I even suggest?) male teachers. Our boys (and girls) need more time outside in nature. More science!!!! The reading, writing and critical thinking will follow. The test scores, however, might not. But who cares? I believe it is our job to raise confident boys; boys that are caring and environmental stewards; boys that understand consequences; and boys that experience success, everyday, in the classroom!
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Posted By: nrm0812 @ 09/11/2008 10:59:38 PM
Ah...but so many people who have never sat inside an over-crowded classroom or in a faculty meeting or at a district initiative meeting or after school with a struggling student feel free to comment on what is only their own perception of the teachers in our American schools. Teaching is the scapegoat profession, and, though the educational system is flawed and could use reform, it is only one weak link in an ever-weakening chain. Many parents blame the teachers before they reflect upon the potential flaws of their own parenting. Admittedly, the system is failing in its current implementation; however, too many good teachers are bearing the brunt of parental attacks, and the burn-out rate for quality teachers is increasing. Society as a whole needs to recognize teachers as professionals (Katie Couric grouped teachers into the "blue collar" category while she broadcasted at the Democratic Convention--a blatant disregard for the education and commitment of the only people in society who work exclusively for the betterment of our children) and fight WITH them for educational reform. Parents and teachers are supposed to collaborate for the good of the child--many people in our society need a reminder of that fact. Perhaps if some parents (usually the ones who complain the most) asked as much from themselves as they ask of our teachers real collaboration would be possible. Until the home/school divide is breeched, we shouldn't expect our current situation to improve.
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Posted By: ammarina @ 09/11/2008 10:51:12 PM
By the way working parents can turn off the TV and read together as a family if Mom and Dad are on the same page with the priority of the childrens deveolpment in the right direction.
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Posted By: ammarina @ 09/11/2008 10:48:13 PM
Just this past week there was a great series on Focus on the Family with Dr,James Dobson on this very subject. It can be heard on the web at their site and I would also recommend Wild At Heart by John Eldredge for every parent and adolescent in America. Boys are little men that God has given gifts and and characters to for very special leadership roles in family structure.In the ways we as a society are off track here the many evils of our society can be readily explained. It all starts at home and in the family settings. So we need to take a moment and check the original plan and start again. Check out the web or the book and see if it doesn't make real sense to you.
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Posted By: ammarina @ 09/11/2008 10:38:37 PM
You can start by reading to your kids some of the greatest stuff ever written instead of family T.V. time. The book Wild At Heart by John Eldredge and a recent series at Focus on the family on the web with Dr.James Dobson help adult and adolescent males see which direction to head for the young mens
development into the strong leaders of spiritual homes in America. Blessings -
Posted By: johnsonshoe @ 09/11/2008 10:27:04 PM
All very valid points. However if this were the key issue, boys and girls would be affected equally/
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Posted By: Sallygirl @ 09/11/2008 10:19:11 PM
Comment: What the author of this article states is all true but he never gets to the real point. The reason why kids are not out on the streets playing, over scheduled with activities, and overmedicated all falls back on one thing. Working parents. I am all for equality but 2 full time working parents can not raise a family. They need nannies, daycare, teachers and after school activities to do it for them. Seeing your kids for 2 hours a night isn't cutting it. They need to have a stable home environment. The reason why there are not any kids playing outside after school is because they are locked up in after school daycare and structured activities while mommy and daddy work all day. I guess mommies now want to feel empowered. Feminism makes them think they have to work and show off their money with materialistic items instead of stay at home to prove their "worth." How about empowering yourself to raise the kids you created into decent human beings? How about you stop worry about your McMansion, designer clothes and other non-essentials and teach your children what they need to know in this world. Let them see that YOUR priority is them. Volunteer at school, get involved in their life, let them have tons of freeplay, encourage them to be who they are, make them feel proud of themselves, hug and encourage them when they need it, and let them know you enjoy being with them and raising them everyday. Nannies and daycares do not care about raising your children into decent human beings. They are an adult body that wants to get paid, Period. As a previous nanny while attending college and graduate school, I saw and still see parents who both work until 6pm or longer everyday rushing home scrambling for dinner and getting any chores and homework done in a limited amount of time, exhausted and ready for bed before their kids even are. The kids are out of control come 8pm because they could barely let off any steam all day with their "structured" day and they melt before their parents eyes to receive whatever attention they can get from them in the short time they see them. Then the parents are frustrated which leads to the lack of discipline and the "friend not parent" issues. Then the kids feed off of this and do worse things for attention which leads to medication and doctors which then makes the child believe something is wrong with them. No one is to blame but the selfish parents who prefer keeping up with the Jones's instead of raising their kids. Case closed...
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Posted By: Khagerman @ 01/05/2009 2:25:10 PM
That sounds so great to dump everything on the working parent and lump us all into one. The only reason we are really working is have our McMansion and designer clothes? What world do you live in? Wouldn't we love to be able to stay home and take care of everything that needs to be taken care of instead of trying to cram a week into two days on the weekend. I don't work so that I can have a McMansion and designer clothes. I work so that I can put a roof (apartment) over my childrens head and put food on the table and hopefully some clothes on their back. And no that would not be designer clothes, that would be what we can afford from Goodwill.
Do you really believe that us mommies that HAVE to run off to work everyday to provide for our children are really interested in the feeling of empowerment? My priority is my children. The fact that I was not born with a silver spoon in my hand and that I actually have to go out and work in order to provide for them does not leave me feeling empowered.
It is obvious that you are one of the stone throwers with such a closed mind that you can't see past your nose.
Not all of us working parents are out there everyday because it give us a good feeling. Most would love to stay home with the kids. Someone has to pay for their neccessities. Then there is the whole other topic of college. DId your parents work in order to send you to college or was the money just there. Let me guess, you worked your way thru college and graduate school all on your own without any help? The case is far from closed when we have such closed minded people such as yourself that want to drop blame on one particular group. How about the values children get from watching their parents go off to work everyday and realizing that things are not free in life and that if you want something you have to work for it.
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Posted By: ganna @ 09/11/2008 10:13:39 PM
I have been saying this for years. The way to let a boy be a boy is to LET the BOY BE a BOY! We start them in school at 4 here where I live, this year he is 4 and goes all day to school. Fortunately I have wise children who let their kids get dirty and dig and play, and yes, have swords and guns (they are NOT allowed to shoot at each other, only THINGS). My gorgeous grand-daughter is allowed the same lee-way---get dirty----it will wash off. By the 5th grade here recess is no longer available. When will we figure out it doesn't matter HOW smart you are----if you don't know how to play well together in the sandbox, you are doomed to be cut out of the picture. Kudos to you!
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Posted By: johnsonshoe @ 09/11/2008 10:06:47 PM
Actually Susiejose, you're right and wrong. There is nothing in either gender that inherently make one better. Because better itself in evaluating an individual, without specific criteria, is subjective. While you may be correct in stating the "femminixation" of society isn't to blame, you miss the equally critical point the "imasculating" of society is the problem. There is a difference.
Inequity for girls is somehow the results of a male dominated culture. Inequity for boys is well, because of of the boys.
For years countless millions dollars have been spent trying to "level the playing field" between the genders in schools. Initially the focus was on middle school aged girls who couldn't measure up mathematically to boys. Then it became funding in sports. While these measures in many respects were (and are) admirable, they have lead us down a slope where girls can do anything boys can, but boys can not do anything girls can..
Smart policy could improve the conditions for boys. But unfortunately for the past two generations and quite a few to come, the dye has been cast.
Normal male activity is deemed disruptive and medication is the solution. Schools no longer subscribe to the adage "boys will be boys" It's amazing for their testicles have the courage to drop. -
Posted By: crazydude25 @ 09/11/2008 9:56:17 PM
i agree with this article completely. i remember when i was in elementary and middle school i watched recess slowly disapear as the years passed. until finally mid year my second year of middle it was cut due to test prep. that was about 6 years ago. i think the best thing you can let your young son do is play outside, get dirty, and build forts or play with sticks stones and dirt like my friends did.
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Posted By: littleokmommy @ 09/11/2008 9:14:51 PM
Although I'm sure that there are real cases of ADHD, I believe that most cases are simply a result of trying to unnaturally force a child to be still and concentrated for 8 hours straight at an age when they should be playing around and being creative. I know grown men who cant stand to stay in one place for more than a couple of hours, so how on earth can you expect little children to do so, every single day, and continue to do so for twelve years straight.
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Posted By: TCTCTCTC @ 09/11/2008 8:59:14 PM
To Susisjose
Male and female minds work differently. This is a scientifically proven fact. It is also a fact that the female psyche is more organized and orderly than the male. So while yes, this doesn't make women inferior, it does still make sense to nurture boys and girls differently; and it does make sense to conduct scientific studies with gender based differences.-
Posted By: Susiejose @ 09/11/2008 9:23:14 PM
I know there are differences and not once did i say the study was flawed! My long response was in opposition to the posters that said feminizing society is to blame for the children's struggles. I openly admitted that I do not know how to fix what is happening in our school system! What i am saying is that one gender is not better than the other! And that our own weaknesses are eachother's strenghths. That because a male is stronger does not make him better. I know we are different but that does not mean we arent intelectually
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Posted By: grandma10 @ 09/11/2008 8:57:06 PM
I have 10 grandkids and I am firm in my thought that children should NOT go to school until they are 7. They need to be home with their mom, or in some cases grandmothers. They need those years to grow. I talked to a teacher a couple of weeks ago and she agreed with me; saying that boys especially should be at home until they are 7. As a teacher she has seen that boys are not as mature as girls and they want to play with the toys, while the girls are wanting to do their school work. What is the matter with our system allowing children to get on a bus at 4 years old and travel an hour to and from school...better yet, what is the matter with the parent putting them on that bus. They are babies! They belong at home with mom! Things are only going to get worse! Just watch...you will see!
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Posted By: otcheryl @ 09/11/2008 8:53:57 PM
Thank you, thank you, thank you!! As a pediatric occupational therapist, I am seeing a large increase in the number of children (not just boys) who are being diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety, depression, and other emotional/behavioral disorders. I believe that the reasons the author listed are true, but we also have done our children a disservice by taking away playground equipment (like the merry-go-round, seesaws), discouraging tree climbing and other "risky" play behaviors, and by stepping in to solve problems (instead of allowing a child to accept the repercussions of not doing his/her homework or forgetting something). I know parents who actually do the child's homework for them because they want their child's project to look as good as the other children in the class (whose parents have also completed their projects for them).
What is curious to me is the fact that the people who are making these changes are the same people who grew up with me, in same public school system that I attended. My public school education (which I earned on my own as my single mother was working and didn't have time to do my homework for me- thank God!) allowed me to attend a prestigious liberal arts school, earn a second bachelor's degree and a master's degree, and have a positive impact on my community and my work environment.
The current education plan leaves all children behind - we need to understand where our children are psychologically and physiologically! A 1st grader is not able to think in abstracts, yet this is what the current education plan calls for on the standardized tests. A kindergartner's hand muscles aren't ready to hold a thin pencil and write on a flat surface - yet this is what our current education plan is asking them to do. We do not have a place in our current education plan to teach basic penmanship, yet we expect a first grader to write paragraphs that are legible. And when they can't do so, they are sent to me (and other occupational therapists) to "correct" their poor handwriting! The system is very broken. -
Posted By: agniyo @ 09/11/2008 8:53:34 PM
I teach at a high school that belongs to the Coalition of Essential Schools. One of the tenets of the coalition is "less is more" which, as much as anything, compels us to be aware that overstuffed curricula can seriously diminish what a kid learns. Kind of like in billiards: if a bunch of balls are aimed at the pocket at once, there's a good chance NONE of them will go in. We graduate kids to A-list colleges, but kids who are not typical academic superstars can grow and thrive, too, with self-respect. I certainly don???t see the necessity of hyper-accelerated elementary school programs. I seriously question their value, too, if they don???t let kids be kids. (Sometimes, I think that elementary school should be lightly academic, but then for middle school kids should just go out into the woods for three years...)
Also, though, I think it???s TREMENDOUSLY important to view the whole situation in the larger context of our society. My sense is that people are not at peace. They are not calm, and where they are it???s sometimes the result of a chilly nest of compromises. In public places, we jostle past and ignore each other. We???ve spent a decade being reds and blues and there???s been lots of screaming. There???s seemingly endless corruption revealed in powerful institutions -- even ones that are explicitly supposed to look out for the public good. Also, there is just so much TV, and movies, that not only panders to the lowest in us, but makes it seem self-justifying.
I think we desperately need to get back in touch with ourselves -- as individuals, as communities and -- since we???re talking about the our nation???s children, I???ll say it -- as a nation, too. We need to re-humanize -- cooperatively, intelligently -- with no group bawling for a monopoly on the truth. Our kids, I think, are the canaries in our coal mine, and always will be. What do they tell us, now?but there's room in our school, too-
Posted By: Bertie Russell @ 09/12/2008 4:47:06 PM
While I mostly agree with you, I do think that there should be the option of "hyper-accelerated elementary school programs". While most kids might want to play at that age and not focus as much on academics (which, as you said, is perfectly fine), there are still some who thrive on academic rigor. I know that when I was in elementary school, I was bored out of my mind with the standard classes, and would have loved an accelerated program. I finally have been able to skip two grades and get into the high school A.P. classes, and I don't know what I would do without the extra level of material. You shouldn't just assume that all kids just want to "be kids"...although a lot has been said on this forum about stereotyping genders and being sexist, there has been little criticism of the equally rampant ageism. Without any pressure at all from my parents or my school, I enjoyed advanced schoolwork. Such programs should still be an option for those who want it, without being forced down the throats of those who don't.
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Posted By: Susiejose @ 09/11/2008 8:48:35 PM
My comment was too long and got cut off! Here is the end!
Please dont forget that your children are individuals! These kids are having an incredibly hard time figuring out who they are. They want more than anything to be accepted by their peers! But the one thing they crave more than that is to be ACCEPTABLE to their moms and dads! GOOD LUCK!!! -
Posted By: Susiejose @ 09/11/2008 8:42:05 PM
I am getting irritated by the idea that feminizing society is somehow responsible for these children's problems. What a backwards way to exist! Yesterday I commented that for all of history males were SOLD BY THE FABRICATORS OF ORGANIZED RELIGION the idea that they were better because the are physically stronger. They had to be the leaders, the providers, the disciplinarians, the smartest, etc...
Humans are flawed because for thousands of years this tripe has been distributed as so much truth.
Women did not help because they were taught that they werent as good as men because of a mistake some fake person named eve made a billion light years ago. These women in turn taught their daughters to bow their heads, dont disrespect men, thank your heavenly father for the food that I cooked. Since the beginning of time fathers have been telling their sons to be tough act with force dont cry grow up and on and on until we have millions of pressure filled little boys who feel as if they have to fit into a mold, be more manly. This is terrible for ones self esteem. In the last century humans are catching on, we dont all have to be the same! If a woman has the chutzpa to enlist in the Citadel and get her ass kicked every day then let her, do you honestly think that because a woman walks those halls a six year olds manliness is threatened? That is just warped! Or what about a man who is compelled by every fiber of his being to dance and sing on Broadway. Is this challenging our second graders idenentity as young men? The answer is a resounding NO!!
The idea of the feminist movement was to gain the freedom to co-exist as equals. To be treated with respect and recognized as capable human beings. The way we are built is not an accident it is a design. Women know there are some things that they cannot physically do like pee standing up or get a prostate exam. Men know they cant give birth or use a tampon. These trivialities are superficial and it is time to embrace that we should exist in tandem, accept our differences and help eachother instead of letting our insecurities stand in the way. I read this artical and I find it terribly sad I admitted yesterday that i do not have the answer to it, but i do think that if we could stop labeling and defining our children by their gender then we can discover what the problem is. I challenge each and everyone of you to talk to your kids gain their TRUST find out what is going on in their lives. And men if your son is having an issue with the way he is feeling his self image or he wants to be a ballerina work it out! Dont call your sons weenies because of your own insecurities. Think about the courage it would require to have that conversation with your father! Moms you should ditch the dishes and go roll around in the mud with your sons! Take your daughters too!!! Please dont forget that your children are individuals! These kids are having an incredibly hard time figuring out who they are. They want more th-
Posted By: Chipsnsoda73 @ 09/11/2008 9:23:04 PM
I think I am having problems posting this comment but I guess I will try again. THANK YOU!!!! you took the words out of my mouth. It feels good to know that there is acutally someone in here using their mind. For a second there I thought I was on my own. Again THANK YOU!
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Posted By: Chipsnsoda73 @ 09/11/2008 9:17:54 PM
You took the words right out of my mouth!!! Thank you thank you!!. It is soooo hard to find someone with a brain now a days. I am sooooo glad to find someone who actually is using her brain for a while there I thought I was alone ;)
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Posted By: Sub_vetran674 @ 09/11/2008 8:39:27 PM
Teachers and public officials don't make boys into men. It is every father's God ordained duty to teach their sons how to be productive, patriotic and responsible men. I agree that the education system is better structured for girls to be successful however, boys who are recieving enough of their father's attention and encouragement can be just as good. Dad's need to play with their sons, teach them to love God and their nieghbors and how to be respectful to women. Dad's need to be involved in their son's interests and support them in their endeavors. My father took my brother and I camping, hunting and fishing all the time. He taught us how to fix stuff on the car and around the house. Most importantly, he told us he was proud of us when we were successful and encouraged us when we were not.
We both finished school with good grades, served in the Navy and are productive in our communities and churches. We are both raising our own sons to do the same. -
Posted By: Sub_vetran674 @ 09/11/2008 8:21:47 PM
Men aren't made by teachers, they're ultimately made by their fathers. Sure teachers have an effect on a boy's perception of manhood but, it is a father's duty to ensure his boy's are raised to be proper men.
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Posted By: GordonEFinleyPhD @ 09/11/2008 8:13:38 PM
Gender Politics and the Boy/Man Crisis in Education
So, political candidates at all levels, when are you going to face reality, ignor radical feminists, and finally do something about the boy crisis in education and the man crisis both in higher and graduate/professional education?-
Posted By: Susiejose @ 09/11/2008 8:57:50 PM
Mr. Finley did you write your thesis on radical misoginists and *** who perpetrate lies?
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Posted By: GordonEFinleyPhD @ 09/11/2008 8:10:34 PM
Politics and The Boy Crisis in Education
So, candidates for public office at all levels, which of you are going to face reality, face radical feminists, and finally get around to doing something about the boy and man crisis in education? Gordon E. Finley, Ph.D.
Gordon E. Finley, Ph.D.
G -
Posted By: meljn @ 09/11/2008 8:07:30 PM
I think this hypothesis is ridiculous on not based on any real evidence whatsoever. Are you seriously suggesting that American education is too stringent? In a time when most students test well below their grade level? What country are you living in?? Do you really think children do math and learn mandarin in preschool? That's not what mine was like. And are you not aware that most Americans only speak English? I think maybe lack of parenting and the need for both parents to work in a struggling economy may be more to bblame. Why boys and not girls is an interesting question I definitely don't think you have the insight to answer.
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Posted By: Big papa @ 09/11/2008 7:33:25 PM
Hardly!
My wife does a preschool in our home. The things mentioned in the article as "what is not happening in preschool" is exactly what is happening. Infact today the preschool played duck duck goose, played along with other children outside, read stories, used crayons ect. I think preschool helps children focus. I think the article was trying to say "Our children need to avoid focussing so that they are less 'ADHD' ". I understand that we should not shove curriculum at our children in place of good old fashion playtime. Although, I think alot of this "ADHD" generation comes from the fact of constant stimulation from t.v. and movies and the lack of quiet foussing time such as reading stories.
The fact is we do live in a different time. We do have fears of school shootings such as Columbine. But we should not look to school as a substitute for learning and play time that should happen in the home. The fact is too many parents both work outside the home. This forces our young ones to gain most of their influences, education, and playtime at school and day care. We need spend quality time with our offfspring so that we can make up for whatever the school system doesn't. I see too many parents who complain to teachers "you are not challenging my kid enough" . Well in a class of 30 students it is hard to give individualized attention. It has to be more of a general curricculum. Again, that is where the parent who has a complaint must take action to give the child privtae tutoring or by simply teaching the child theirself.
Study shows us that boys mainly have trouble in school because the learning atmosphere is designed for girls. Boys do better learnig hands on. For girls, however, taking notes, doing worksheets while sitting in their seats has been proven effective. So there has been an unfair advatage for girls to do well in school. We need to provide more opportunities for boys to do hands on work, whether this happens in the home or at school, hopefully it happens at both.
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Posted By: DavidAlbert @ 09/11/2008 7:32:58 PM
Add to this the fact that it is completely unnatural for a young boy or girl to sit in a chair for six hours a day. At my son's school the kids are not allowed to run on the playground even during recess. The school system is insane to insist that kids be deprived of physical activity for six hours straight, and then they wonder why kids have ADD or ADHD, and/or obesity problems!
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Posted By: mumoftwo @ 09/11/2008 7:28:16 PM
I totally agree. My son has suffered due
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