Struggling School-Age Boys

Not only are children not allowed to be children, boys are not allowed to be boys. I am the mother of five children and three are boys, ages 19, 16, and 15. They are all well adjusted, smart kids, and they are able to control themselves. We did allow them to be boys, however, by letting them have active, physical playtime, wrestle with eachother without beating eachother up, if they turned a stick into a gun, so what. They aren't going to kill anybody. That is what boys do. With the way our culture has been feminized, our poor boys don't know what to do with themselves. Let your children play for a while when they get home from school. They just returned from 8 or more hours of structure. A snack and a few minutes to run around isn't going to affect their intellectual development. Stop overscheduling them with a thousand activities. They wind up quitting everything when they have too much on their plate. The answers are really quite simple and require a little common sense on our part as parents.

I guess it's got nothing at all to do with the politically correct spineless liberals and their emasculation of our entire society. You can be whatever you want to be in this country as long as you suck at it, and manage to not offend anyones' delicate sensibilities along the way...

Well put. My son 7 years old and one of these boys with difficulties. He is on medication twice a day, once in the morning to get him through the day and a much smaller dose after school to get him through homework. I hate that I have to give him the medication but since he entered Kindergarten two years ago, he has been behavioral problem......for the school and teachers that is. Yes, my son talks a lot and has ample amounts of energy at any given time but when I set aside the time for him to play or just do what he wants, he appears to be like any other 7 year old......happy! Just the other day he came home from school and it was a very nice day outside. He couldn't wait to go play outside. I told him not until his homework was done. He and I sat for 3 hours doing his homework. He had four different assignments to complete and all I wanted to do was give him the answers so he could play. He is in the second grade for heaven's sake and this is how much homework he brings home EVERY day. I didn't give him the answers but he ended up getting to play outside for about 30 minutes before he had to eat dinner, shower and go to bed. He gets so upset about it and then the next morning he tells me that he hates school and doesn't want to go. I really don't blame him. Kids are pushed way too much these days and are not provided enough opportunity to just be kids.

just the other day while doing my daily exercise I heard someone in the yard playing...it actually caught me off gaurd to hear voices...funny huh...NOONE is ever outside to Just Play. It seems unless there is exercise to be done or time to go to the park (or something secheduled like on memorial day) when does anyone get outside... my daughter and I play frizby, bball pretty regularly, but it didn't hit me till the other day.... where's everybody else? Like llamalover37 said, "better have an extension cord to the Playstation"..... it's too bad that Morally the world is n such a decline as well. Just the other day when my daughter and I were walking (she was on her bike) & ONLY 13 some guys &OLD @ THAT started glaring @ her. I was so repulsed....I didn't know to holla "She's only 13 perverts" or just leave it alone. In this sick world we live in I thought I'd leave it alone see'n how I walk alone sometimes u know. Anyway... if you look @ the prophesies in the Bible, THEY ARE ALL COMING TRUE. The nxt time someone "knocks on your door"... ask questions and look for answers in the Bible... and Listen.

This article is a bit disappointing. The cause for the difficulties facing children are due to the education system and the way members of the system uphold education. Teaching to the test is merely a method the education system uses to make it appear as if the population is getting smarter. Of course you'll get better results if you devote all the students' education towards a series of tests used to determine a person's potential. The entire teaching staff would have to be mentally inadequate to fail such a simple goal and method. But that's the fault in the education system. In strictly enforcing test-preparation, the education system cuts out the extracurricular activities possible for students. America will lose much of its potential ingenuity; and thus, scientific power, because students are not taught to (cliche as it is) "think outside the box"; the students will only be taught information deemed important in their examinations. The education system forces to students to think that their series of tests are the only things that matter. There's a whole slew of things that should take higher priority in life than preparing for a test. Teachers that have taught pupils important life lessons and have given students life-changing advice will be replaced by mass-produced lower quality teachers that will only care about the statistical academic performance of their students. Of course, not all teachers will only care about academic performance, but that is what the education system is encouraging. In only teaching students relative to tests that will be given to them in the future, we deny our future the enrichment needed by any person that has shaped America for the better.

I agree with much of what the author wrote and some of the comments. However, I disagree that boys are disproportionately affected. Boys tend to act out while girls tend to externalize (note: these are trends, not absolutes). So boys therefore are seen as more disruptive and their distress is more likely to come to the attention of adults. Girls are feeling it in other ways. I have to agree that much of these changes has to do with how schools are structured/. But I also agree with the poster who pointed to the changes in TV, music, multimedia, etc. We all know the saying "It takes a village to raise a child." Well as we expand in terms of who comes into our lives via TV, music, the internet, so does our village expand. Too many ne'er-do-wells populate our villages now. That needs to stop.

To the mom from Switzerland: My husband and I both work and it is NOT to have 3 cars. It is to keep a roof over our head and our lights on! In NYC, it is virtually impossible for a family of 4 to get by on one salary even if you've crossed 6 figures!

I also agree!!!There is no time at all to use there imagination or have a game of baseball in the empty lot across the street!! Unless you can run an extention cord for the playstation!!! To many T.v. channels to much organization!!! Kids boys and girls alike are no allowed to be kids anymore!!!! And don,t evrn get me going on playing and fooling around with siblings!!! That also seems to be a thing of the past!!! We are putting our family lives in second place for the ALL MIGHTY DOLLAR is what it al;l comes down too!!! It is all in family time !!!

i m rom switzerland and its almost the same here, only we dont have prescool starts with the age 6 month, please what can a 6 month are leraning and all the prescool or learningcenter are a ecscuse for the parents its nothing else than a care center, parents work so they can have 3 cars , a bog house etc...but more importend is having a mother at home who cockes playes with the kids, and the kids have to play outside put all the energie they have in playing with dirt( oh no dirt..) yea getting dirty, fight a little boy fight in the sand, hide and seek...etc. education is not everything, look at our world..more suecide, drugs than vere bevor...wonder why?? the world is sick and the world needs a goodly structur..i live in america since 3 years and im shocked about all the way kids grow up here all the activitys...its to much let the kids be kids...and they will be healthy...silvi labovitz pittsburgh

Personally I feel the problem is not just in the U S, but can be seen and felt worldwide. I really was disappointed in the article because I thought the author was really about to go somewhere when she stated "Look at the way things have been going or changed over the past 10 years"; yeah that's true, but it doesn't have a thing to do with education. THE WHOLE WORLD IS IN DECLINE! Sure they did a survey here or boys, but even the girls report should raise some eyebrows, but seeing how everything else is in such a decline I guess she decided to go with the worse report of the two. Between TV,Movies, and Video games and the lack of moral guidance to choose what is truly healthy for ourselves, let alone our children, this is exactly what you're going to get. Boys are just by nature more aggressive, but add sex,drugs, and all the violence that they are exposed along with the steady decline of parents being good examples for moral guiders, teachers, instructors, and this is the type of report you will continue to get and nevermind it's in the United States; I'm sure all over the world there are similar studies to match.

I was really disappointed in this articlel; when she said "look @ the society and how it's changed over the last 10yrs" I thought she was about to come at an angle that was pertinent....like LOOK AT THE WHOLE WORLD & the Degradation of Society as a whole. There's no way you can just say that the United States in the only place 'our boys" are being affected. Both genders being 1out of 10 girls should even raise eyebrows but with everything seeming to decline simultaniously I guess she just chose to take the worse of the 2evils. Television, movies, VIDEO GAMES, AND THE LIKE along with the STEADY decline in morals worldwide are becoming more and more evident. Boys may be on the higher# end just because the overall makeup of males is more aggressive and ususally one must admit are more prone to Video games,( which by the way are ALL violence, sex, drugs, etc..) the ones the kids like to play anyway, that just feeds into the already declining social, world problems

Well I just wanted tomake one last comment There was another study done several years ago that I read and it general said this. girls will interact socially verbally while boys interact socially with activities. I thik that learnig is te same for them. It was commented earlier that schoold can refuse to educate if parents don't medicate and the parents may not have a choice. i'm not saying that it some cases meds are needed but i am against them if at all possible. The parents always have a choice. They can as one here has said educate the education system or home school or even chanmge to a different school. You need tobe bold enough to stand up an let them know that they arw wrong. That brinbgs up my last point is that we all seem to agree for the most partt on this articla and it is good to discuss it with each other but we also need to educate and let our voices be heard by those who don't understand what we all seem to understand. With the exception of a few. So always speak out against what you think is wrong tothose who we feel are doiong it wrong and have the ability to chanmge it. maybe then slowly it can get bettter. Bythe way my son has spilled something on my keyboard so it is very hard to type on it. I'm really not this bad at typing. LOL

I totally agree with the comment by Sallygirl. As a mother and single parent raising my son who is 15. I have seen this in the public schools here in Arizona and in California. It started before my daughter was born. I worked for a pediatrician at the time and he said we were pushing the kids to hard to fast. Since my husband passed away less than two years ago. It is harder and harder to raise a child as a single parent, yet I would not give it up for the world the pros outway the cons. My son graduated at the very top of his 8th grade class. He had attended the same school since Kindergarten. We were told to medicate him countless times by some idiot teacher's. He has dyslexia and is hyperactive(not disruptive) We had to educate the educators. He carries a 4.5 grade average and is an exceptional student. Thank God for our pediatrician's who agreed with our own diagnosis and taught us how to teach the teachers to teach him. Without the physical activity and the learning about anything he wants( he is a super sponge) so we fill him up with knowledge. He would be a failure in the school systems. But gifted kids are under the same federal laws that protect handicap kids. They have to teach at their level. I have been tempted to go back to work but my son needs me. I have never regretted being a stay at home mom. You get alot of grief from other parents tough. I would rather go without impressing the Jones to finish the job I was given being a mother first and taking a active role in raising my children. It must be working. My daughter is going to college and had a 4.0 all on her own merit. Gifted kids are hard to raise. The same with dyslexic Kids but it can be done. You just never get to rest. We also have always volunteered in their schools and in the community the payoffs are tremendous. I appreciated every teacher who said thank you for being involved in your child's life. I feel why should I not be. I will always be so proud to be their mom. Their dad was proud of being their dad. Thanks for letting me put my two cents in. We need to be involved in their lives and with what they are being taught and be a advocate for them when they cannot be one for themselves. They need us now more than ever.

Gender or role the parent has should have little to do with this issue. The main concern is not the child's confusion. The issue is that children are not allowed to be children. There is a large press to have control over kids these days and frankly, parents are blowing things way out of proportion. Rather than letting kids be kids we are medicating them for nothing. We are suppressing their human nature, what their body and minds need. why is it then that we wonder why kids are depressed or misunderstood?

It is very interesting to read comments from parents who I will say agree that all starts with good parenting.
I am a teacher and have been dealing with children for 8 years. I have to say i'm exhausted, mainly because I am trying to teach a child the things he/she should learn at school and also what they should learn at home.
Parents can't expect us teachers to do all the work, we can't do it, we are burnt out. We need responsible adults to take care of their children and help us educate them. The Government also has to change al the non-sense with the testing and implement a law or something where children are not expected to do all the math-reading-writing, etc. until at least Kindergarten. I started 1st grade at 5 and was never in Kinderg. My mom stayed home until I went to 4th grade. I went to public school and grew up in a US territory. I have a MA from NYU and have never complained about my education. I thanked my parents, teachers and community, all them contributed to my well being. Values and moral were taught at an early age and faith was the base of my family. We all are responsible for educating and nourishing our kids, with more good parenting, faith and a different school system we can change our children and make them whole. No drugs, no testing at early age, more love, more parenting!!!

just the subtitle to this article is an example of how disgusting our society has become... a new study says parents are right to worry about their sons. is a study really necessary!? i think parents know their children much more then a "new study" does. put the opposite way... a new study says parents are WRONG to worry about their sons. both of the statements hold the same meaning... its more statistical garbage. a previous comment was posted that said, "are you (teacher) going to do a project over the summer? then neither is my child!" the greeks had it right... the key is in moderation.