Struggling School-Age Boys

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!! First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn' t get tested for diabetes.
Then after that trauma, we w ere put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking As infants &children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags.. Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat. We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this. We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank Kool-aid made with sugar, but we weren't overweight because, WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O. K.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem. We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or chat rooms....... WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.
We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.
We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.
We rode bikes or walked t O a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!
Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!
These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!
The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!
If YOU are one of them CONGRATULATIONS!

The schools I went to in the 60's and 70's were FAR more "sit in your desk and behave yourself" than my experience with schools today. (And don't think I went to a "bad" school! It was top-rated in the nation with a 95% rate of college attendance, and public too. ) I'm in the classroom a great deal and the amount of activity, hands on opportunities, and variety is astounding! What I wouldn't have given to have that! And they still have 30 minutes recess everyday and a PE class twice a week. There is still music, art and drama. What I observe should be a boys' dream, based on the over-extended stereotypes. And the vast majority of them are engaged, eager to learn, and not acting out. The girls too, who seem to enjoy the opportunity to let loose their creativity, show their independence, and have the opportunity to lead as much as boys do. They aren't a bunch of submissive little beauties by any stretch of the imagination!

Solution strategies: (1) If you are male, volunteer in the classroom. Show boys that education is important to men. (2) If you are male, become a teacher, particularly consider it at the younger grades....don't go into administration. (3) Turn off the video games and the TV, for yourself and your kids. These two things are probably the biggest reasons for kids not getting outside and getting their ya-ya's out. (Hmmmm, people make money from these....not much profit in kids running around outside. Wait! Organize the sports, make them buy equipment, and uniforms, arrange tournaments out-of-town, and then towns will have hotel rooms filled, and restaurants frequented during those tournaments!!!! ....Oh, it's already been done.)

Standardized testing has received so much emphasis in the last decade to "evaluate" schools. (Are we getting what we're paying for?!) Standardized testing is the least expensive way of doing that. If you want to know whether schools are effective and you want those schools to be individualized and innovative, you better be willing to pay for evaluations that test just that. That means classroom observations, evaluating kid projects, and whole lot of other more diverse methods than paper-and-pencil (or computer-based) tests. That kind of evaluation is much more expensive. What is measured and rewarded is what gets done.

Folks, WE are society. You want it to change, then you have to figure out where *you* can start the change. Be solution-focused. (I'm going to go play with my kids now. Too late, they're in bed...maybe tomorrow. Darn computer, why did the bulletin board lure me in that way?! Bad computer!)

As an educator and Elementary School pirncipal i would like to say it can't all be blamed on the schools as much as you would like to. For the most part girls are as pushed and over programmed as boys are as the enter and attend school. No doubt our boys are having a harder time in school, but i don't think we can blame schools. We started an extended day kindergarten this year, of the 100 kindergarten children we tested to see who might need extra help, 4 were girls and 20 were boys. Look some where else in your fault finding,.Schools are doing the best they can, we find the children who do the best are the ones where parents take a personal interest in the education of their children and help with home work and review problems they are having to help them understand.

I cannot agree more about losing recess and my son only learning what is on the state standardized test. He comes home with so much homework there isn't time to play with friends outside. Each year passes and he is told one more thing he can't do at recess. THe boys can't play starwars, they can't play tag, they can't play fight, they can't wrestle, they can't play football, they can't pretend they have any kind of weapon whether it be a light saber or a sword. If you have never raised you boy you will never know that they will turn anything into a weapon and there are always "Good Guys and Bad Guys". It's just in their blood. They CAN jump rope or play wall ball. He learned his multiplication facts and division at home. The teacher let us know there just wasn't enough time to teach the basics at school. The focus was on the Standardized test. There isn't time for art. He hasn't made anything at school for a Holiday in years. Oh my goodness if you celebrate something. I am the mother of 2 boys. I came from a family of 3 girls. Boys are definitely different as they should be.

Thank you, TIER. I would like to add that 70% of school teachers (maybe more) are women! Seeing the connection, people???

Consider the downplay of a spiritual basis in society and a moral guide such as the Bible which has increasiningly been removed from school and culture in the name of political correctness and conflict avoidance. The statistics from such sources as Gallup and Barna show a consistent downward trend in children's behavior - especially boys - in direct relation to distance from Christian experience and absolute moral guide. I have a son. He is a great kid and I am thankful that because I have kept his focus balanced physically, mentally, and spiritually with real fundamental biblical foundations, he is emerging as a bright, gifted, well-balanced, and well-behaved young man. I am not a perfect parent, but I have a great support system through faith and moral tradition. He doesn't need medication or psychotherapy, he has a relationship with God and a value for biblical foundation in every area of his life. Wake up America, and look at the big picture and maybe we will still have a chance to rescue this young generation before it collapses beneath us! Medication and counseling are not the solution. Books that point out the problem are interesting, but writing that gives valid and real answers are what people need.

So glad these problems are finally getting attention! It's not easy homeschooling, but this article just reminded me of some of the huge pluses of being able to let me kids learn at home. My boys are well above average in their testing but one in particular could never survive sitting in a desk for hours on end. I thank God and America for the freedoms we have here to make these sorts of choices. Wish I had a better idea for how to help the boys in school who don't have the opportunity to homeschool.

Posted By: Redgreen @ 09/10/2008 6:13:48 PM
Comment: I am teacher and have taught both elementary and high school.I had two brothers and I have son and two daughters. The answer to the question is simple: Boys are not allowed to be boys anymore.They have been de-guyed. This started with the feminists of the 60's.They are not allowed to play as boys do. They are expected to sit like precious little girls in their chairs at school all day. Many have no fathers in the home.
To be a man you have to be around other men. Decent men. Boys need role models. They are surrounded by women at school and at home.BOYS ARE NOT GIRLS, Yet the culture has been brainwashed into believing that boys and girls are NOT different. BALONEY!! Boys have had their identity stripped from them, They don't know who they are or what their role is anymore. They need responsible men in their life. They need an intiation into manhood. It isn't a school problem, although it carries into the school. For a good read about the subject try "How to Hold on to Your Guy Card (In a Chick's World) by B.J. Bradley