Struggling School-Age Boys

It's the feminization of our boys and our American culture that is hurting our boys. This must stop or our culture is in big trouble.

Although I agree with the author's basic premise- namely, that the school system's failure to accommodate inherent behavioral differences between genders is what causes boys to fail more often than girls- I really resented the author's assertion that boys "...can't handle..." today's higher expectations as well as girls can. If anything, males can handle the expectations better, as is evidenced by the male's consistent ability over women (in general) to pioneer, to set higher standards of intensity, and to be maverick leaders. Any semi-intelligent person can clearly see that it is always males who are the disobedient ones in school. Meanwhile, females are more often submissive to the teacher's every instruction. This is why male students fail to succeed as well as female students. Since I think we can all agree that disobedience, no matter how malign the individual exercising it, is synonymous with having an independent mind, let me say this: In general, males think more independently than do females. And the tendency toward independent thought is largely discouraged by the educational system. More specifically, the educational system is designed in such a way as to promote the building of industry soldiers, so that a child with an obedient (and therefore soldier-like) mind is well suited to excel within the educational system's rigid structure, and thus have greater chances for "success" within the industry thereafter. On the other hand, a disobedient (independent) mind is met with order, rules, and little room for creativity, all of which act as barriers that prevent such a mind from reaching its full potential.
The change that needs to take place in the educational system is this: Creativity, originality, free expression, and other such joys for the independent mind must become the primary focus over all other methods of instruction (right now it is the exact opposite, with the foregoing qualities subordinated to bland, rigid structure). If schools were to make the change I'm proposing, males would start to excel. And by the way, as an added note, I find it repulsive that some parents respond to their child's "behavioral disorder" by giving she/he medication. Such an approach is a quintessential example of how our society is unquestionably moving toward a 1984/Brave New World-type society. To try and change a child's behavior for the sake of the continued mobilization of our industrial system is to say, "If you can't fall in line, then we'll literally change your brain chemistry so that you become an obedient soldier."

The reason boys are struggling is that for the last 30 years males in general have been told they should be ashamed of themselves and that all the world's problems are their fault. Plus just look at most commericals the males are portrayed as idiots in most cases. The only way that true equality will happen is if we all work together. Come folks its time to wake up!!!!

As a former elementary teacher I saw this beginning about 15 years ago. Children today don't know how to play without direction. As we green America, we need to have the children playing hide and seek in the woods and rolling down the hills.

You know, I'm going to weed out the people who will assume me stupid for this, I have no children in fact, I'm only 22. But here is something that I have learned in my short time here. Oh, also I'm a guy... People like to point fingers "Why are our kids fat and lazy?" "Well back in my day...." This is all nonsense in my opinion. I would like for many of you to take a look at yourself. I know that when I was younger I played outside because that is where my parents were. We would be outside doing stuff. Life in general has become stressful but how often do you come home and just sit and watch tv all night and then reprimand your child for playing video games? Ironically I went to school to develop video games, and I play them pretty regularly. But you know... I still go outside and do stuff because that is what I grew up doing. I imagine that people seem to be looking for an easy out and a big problem I have today is that everyone is looking to be offended.

Think about recess.. How many of you were outside playing tag, running into each other? Did you fall and get bumped up a bit? Sure you did, but you lived and I lived and I'm not afraid to do things because it might hurt me. It just seems like everyone (keep in mind that is a blanket statement you don't have to tell me how you are different and whatnot... If that is your thought keep in mind "You are unique, just like everyone else :)") wants to pass the buck of what the problem is to something else. What does this lead to? Well, lets ban dodgeball, tag, and tell the 9 year old he can't pitch because he pitches too fast. I think the major problem that is causing many of these side problems is people like to be offended... They feed on reasons to be offended.

There are a lot of problems with this study; first, what exactly were they measuring? 1 out of 5 parents have boys who truely have behavioral problems, etc. or are parents less equipted to parent boys nowadays b/c they are so frazzled? Maybe today's parents expectations are different? Boys and girls ARE NOT THE SAME - parents may report higher levels for boys b/c they are socialized very differently then girls. I totally agree with the comments that our kids are too scheduled. I would also comment that videogames and free access to everything technology related limits social interaction thus kids are not practicing what they are supposed to be learning. I don't think there is an epidemic of naughty boys - there are many factors to consider that the writer of this article missed, he just wanted to senationalize the topic.

"Education " means nothing if we raise a neurotic, maladjusted, immature person . It is amazing how many parents, teachers et al value scores above all else . Its like kids aren't even allowed to be real anymore .I'm seeing alot of angsty children out there, that can't even get their normal "ya ya's " out . I feel for them and their lack of freedom .

You know, I'm going to weed out the people who will assume me stupid for this, I have no children in fact, I'm only 22. But here is something that I have learned in my short time here. Oh, also I'm a guy... People like to point fingers "Why are our kids fat and lazy?" "Well back in my day...." This is all nonsense in my opinion. I would like for many of you to take a look at yourself. I know that when I was younger I played outside because that is where my parents were. We would be outside doing stuff. Life in general has become stressful but how often do you come home and just sit and watch tv all night and then reprimand your child for playing video games? Ironically I went to school to develop video games, and I play them pretty regularly. But you know... I still go outside and do stuff because that is what I grew up doing. I imagine that people seem to be looking for an easy out and a big problem I have today is that everyone is looking to be offended.

Think about recess.. How many of you were outside playing tag, running into each other? Did you fall and get bumped up a bit? Sure you did, but you lived and I lived and I'm not afraid to do things because it might hurt me. It just seems like everyone (keep in mind that is a blanket statement you don't have to tell me how you are different and whatnot... If that is your thought keep in mind "You are unique, just like everyone else :)") wants to pass the buck of what the problem is to something else. What does this lead to? Well, lets ban dodgeball, tag, and tell the 9 year old he can't pitch because he pitches too fast. I think the major problem that is causing many of these side problems is people like to be offended... They feed on reasons to be offended.

I sooooo agree with eakamouse. Boys will be boys. I am the mother of 4 boys ranging in age from 5 to 15. All 4 of them enjoy different things. But one of my rules are only one sport or club etc.... at a time. They need to choose the one that is most important to them. That way they still have time to not only be boys but to be KIDS! All children regardless of gender need to learn how to control themselves. Have it be their temper or their manners. On a side note all of my children have a 3.8 gpa or higher. School is VERY important but so is being a kid. Over scheduling them does not teach them anything but how to be an adult faster then is needed. They will become an adult soon enough!!!!

Let's put the focus on who it should be on. Of course schools are focused on "'No Child Left Behind", it controls funding and many other aspects of school. Instead of attacking schools for doing what they are forced by law to do, shift the blame to the ones who made the crazy law to begin with and tied it to funding. Time is so difficult to regulate with all the laws and requirements of legislation that people in the school, who actually are there to work with the children, have very little control over what is taught or done throughout the day. Yes the system is flawed, but worry about those "quick fixes" that seem to sound like a wonderful idea but in reality only hurts those who need help the most.

I think this article is very true. Too many schools are now focused on this "No Child Left Behind" garbage and not allowing kids to be kids. Two and three year olds are being taught their names, addresses, colors, weather, numbers and simple wiriting skills. In kindergarten kids are now learning to read and do math calculations instead of just learning basic human interaction with other people. Parents are also to blame by trying to potty train kids at earlier and earlier ages. For some of the children that are "lagging" behind, they are simply just at their appropriate age level of learning. They just aren't meeting the ridiculous standards that the government has set up for them. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for ann education but when you have 2nd graders reading 15 chaptered books, I think that it has gotten a bit out of control. I think if sometimes we put less pressure on these children then maybe they would excel a little better. Some children just aren't meant to be doing calculus at 9!

im srry but even if kids are studying a lot ever since they are like 4yrs old, they still have to compete with other children from other countries. even if children are learning 2nd/3rd stuff (from 15 years ago) in first grade, it makes you wonder how far behind america's education was 15 years ago compared to other countries.

I am one of those parents who sought out help for our son from our health care providers. When I realized that it wasn't him, my son, it was us who had the problem, he was miraculously "cured". The old adage "boys will be boys" was never a truer statement when I simply let him be one without trying to make him into something he is not. I accept the fact that he may not be the neatest, most polite, self-controlled little man on the block. It was like I was squeezing dough tighter and tighter, but the dough was escaping through my fingers unwilling to be shaped by my fruitless efforts. Now that I accept him for who he is, life couldn't be sweeter! And yes, boys will be boys!

Amen kw0905!!!!!!

Maybe more parents are asking their drs about their boys because we are a more worrisome society. Fifty years ago the parents didn't have the media to worry them like we do. I am obviously not the only one who clicked on this article wondering if something could with my sons! The media loves to SCARE!

I have my degree in Child Development and I am currently a pre-school teacher. I have taught of and on for the last 20 years . I know the academic pressures on our children first hand. I have a 14 year old daughter, my boys are 12, 9 and 7. Boys learn through their physical enviroment, girls tend to develop socially sooner. Pre-K children are already writing, parents are pressuring their 3 yr. olds to write their name. Kindergartener's are required to start reading. Kids will be too burned out by the time they graduate high school. It has been my experience that children learn and retain information through science ,art , creative expression, and play. Children should be allowed to be children, "No Child Left Behind" misses the point. Education should not be about the numbers.

Amen kw0905!!!!!!

My wife sees the truth of this every single day in her kindergarten class! The question is, how do we change the status quo? When charter schools like Boys Latin in Philadelphia are fought tooth and nail by the ACLU and women's groups? When will taking into account the needs of boys not be seen as discriminating against girls? Stop shoving curriculum down kids throats at earlier and earlier ages!
down their throats