Struggling School-Age Boys

JC0101 has the complete & right point that we should be challenging our children in school. We are testing our schools to death w/ the cookie cutter standardized testing. And the word "standard" is key here. Is that all we expect for a children in this global society is "standard"? "Basic'? How about "Higher"? We all need to take a greater look at our western idealogies and take the time to place our children first. We need to demand it of the system & our governing officials. We work to long, take to few vacations days, rape our schools of higher education benefits & then blame it on systematic, democratic & parental problems. All are true but no one is listening. If we are to succeed in the next decade we need to revamp & rethink our processes that are antiquated. Nurture our children, build schools that inspire, have programs that are progress & innovative. We should be the upper echalon on this plant but we fall very short. We can invest money rebuilding foriegn countries that we have bomb the hell out of but we ignore and neglect ther very esscence of ourselves. We should be teaching arts, sciences , mathmatics & languages to a far greater depth. There should not be 27 to 30 children in a class room. Our teachers should be paid far more & that would attract a better base of people to want to be in the education system. Business, community and yourself should be just as involved in what happens in the class room as our students are. I know I am, I am very involved with what happens to my children & their education. Not to mention what happens before and after schoo, let alone with in the home. We need to reinvent that stay at home parent again & help make that work for all of us. I am all for a better family unit, a better community, a better government and education system, not to mention a better world.

This article is just a tip of the iceberg on this subject. I have an ADHD son and it has been extremely difficult to get "help" in the public school. I think our lives have evolved but the way our children our being taught hasn't changed much over the past 10 to 15 years. Our children deserve so much more than what they are getting in the public school system and unfortunately I can't afford private.

problem is, we are now in a society in which everyone sais "Don't pressure him, don't hurt his feelings" men are becoming demasculinized as we are moving into a more feminin culture. Young boys don't have men to look up to, instead (with the divorce rate ever increasing) they have single mothers who's prime goal is to listen to their feelings and their thoughts. I hate and love to say this, but God has given MEN the leadership role within the family and everytime Oprah or some other fanatical feminist tells a women she "CAN" do without him...this is the end result. No doubt in my mind should a woman never be in an abusive relationship...but come on...women are now more in "control" then men are, so your son's are a direct result of the parenting or parent they are receiving...my .02

Several items come to mind after reading this article. Boys are losing. There has been a big push for girls to succeed, and the boys have been left behind. Take for example reading lists. Huckaberry Finn and other classics that emphasize boys are out. Star Girl and Traveling Pants are in. Boys enjoy military history yet schools do not teach ancient historical wars. My son is in 7th grade and has yet to learn about Greek and Roman Empires, English and French Monarchies etc. A best seller this year was called "The Dangerous Book For Boys". What was included was how to build things and "play" that boys traditionally use to do on their own. Gone are the days where boys would go outside and just "play". Everything has either become very structured or playing video games. Pre-School, Pre- K and Kindergarten are now "school". The expectations for early learning have gotten out of hand. The physiology of the development of children shows that boys are delayed in fine motor skills. This has not changed the emphasis on writing, in these early classes. Frustration builds immediately when those who are normal lack in these skills are expected to perform . This sets the child up for behavior problems from day 1. So once again, the boys are at a disadvantage when it comes to early grades. This starts the path that so many boys follow. Teach the little boys the math for building a fort and you will be amazed at the math and science that they intuitively know! Boys are concrete thinkers. Our education system today believes learning the concept is more important than the correct answer. Tell that to your surgeon the next time you have surgery. State tests such as the TAKS ask such ambivalent questions. This exam is such a ridiculous test. This test exams how to read questions, not coming up with the correct answers. This is why the schools teach to the test. If the test asked for the answer to specific problems then the students would know what is asked of them. Once again, the student is not asked for the correct answer but how to arrive at the correct answer. To me this is absurd! This is another example of reading between the lines which favors female thinking. The latest craze in the educational movement is "Critical Thinking". A student needs to know specifics before they are able to use "Critical Thinking". How can a student use "Critical Thinking" without having the basic fundamentals. Children are asked to perform tasks that they are not ready for. To solve some of these problems we need to go back to basics. Recess 2 times a day for elementary students, art, music, reading stories that are adventurous like Gary Paulsen, let children go outside and have unstructured play, and have more male teachers so that boys have role models. Let us stop reinventing the wheel and go back to what worked in education. There are too many "experts" with all their ideas, yet our st

problem is, we are now in a society in which everyone sais "Don't pressure him, don't hurt his feelings" men are becoming demasculinized as we are moving into a more feminin culture. Young boys don't have men to look up to, instead (with the divorce rate ever increasing) they have single mothers who's prime goal is to listen to their feelings and their thoughts. I hate and love to say this, but God has given MEN the leadership role within the family and everytime Oprah or some other fanatical feminist tells a women she "CAN" do without him...this is the end result. No doubt in my mind should a woman never be in an abusive relationship...but come on...women are now more in "control" then men are, so your son's are a direct result of the parenting or parent they are receiving...my .02

This has nothing to do with god, sorry, it has to do with how involved you want to be as a parent. I see so many of my friends putting thier kids in before care, after care, weekend care, endless summer camps. If you want to have kids then make time to parent not stuff thier schedules with school and activities. Half the boys don't have ADHD they have food aleriges or need free time but parents find that too hard to cope and just medicate. Try sports for one, try home school for two. Why do think I will never send my kids to school? Becasue most people don't really want to make time for their kids and blame having to work - then you had too many - duh. Look at yourself ,not at the school as the problem, help your child by not sending them to school. Schools are trying to cope but if you really want to help educate and bring up healthy children do it yourself not some over tired underpaid teacher . Not trying to offend teacaher but really do you care for my child more than I do - NO. Most teachers could care less and want your boy to shut up, sit down, do as your told and learn what they have no interest in. Try UNSCHOOLING and just see how much they thrive - case in point my kid. New child now that he is at home, learning when and what he wants, now studying ahead of his grade. Just try it! Only you know best, well at least most of us do. Schools haven't changed since I went, cater to the average. Take charge of your childs education and don't just medicate because some shrink told you to, they only practice medicine, it is there job help people stay sick otherwise they wouldn't have a job - think about it. Try taking your kid off wheat and sugar - sacrifice for the health of your children. If you can"t help yourself you probably won't help your children. Hope my kids don't marry yours. Oh, and I'm not religious just a seriously devoted unschooling parent who has made scarifices to stay home. Try it, it may changer your life and your childs, you only have them for 18 years before they leave take care of them.

Maverick7 I have read and re-read your comment. I seriously am trying to understand where you are coming from. Although teachers are primarily female, Principals are primarily men. Does this not reinforce the whole misoginistic premis of your "manual"? Going all the way back to Eve! I am not trying to offend you it seriously bothers me that while a study like this aims to help whomever needs help the most, it just provokes blame. I want to ask you to explain to me what an impact a male teacher could have verses a female teacher. Please. This had piqued my interest you see, I am a single, female, liberal, youngish mother of a boy who is seven and a girl who is eight. I delight every day in their differences, and try really hard not to push gender bias into their lives. I must admit though it is hard since "history is wrought with this very gender bias, I mean look at the word( his story) why isnt it her story? Why historically are male female relationships male dominant and female subserviant. Male leader female follower? Just a few examples:
Pilot: Stewardess
Principal: teacher
CEO: secratary.
Jesus and Mary
God has been conceived as a male diety.
Have you met a male maid?
I am not going going to jump on the female discrimination bandwagon! Actually quite the opposite. I feel that society throughout the ages has accepted man as stronger smarter better. The pressure on a young man to suceed or live up to history must be tremendous. Maybe if we didnt as a community bring to light the differences between male and female as a weakness, we would accept that each others weaknessness are our counterparts strenghths. Like I said Maverick I dont want to offend you I personnally have relied on my mother's strengh and have not ever had a strong male role model. My children's dad left after my son was born. So i am honestly curious to learn what he will be missing. Thank you!

I just don't get this crap! We all too often want to grade people collectively instead of individually. We don't all develop at the same rate/pace, so we should not expect people to learn and grow at the same rate. All of this is being done to stay competitive in the name of keeping your country on top of the success list. When you meet your maker, I don't think he's going to ask what you did to support the progression of technology among other things. I believe he'll want to know how did you tengage, treat and support your fellow man! It's too late though, it is expected that each child learn as much as possible at whatever cost. So many parents need to take their child to visit the therapis to to get prozac and other psychotropic medicine to make sure he/she can get over their issues and get back to supporting advancement. and be competitive It's really sad to see and I see it everyday. Kids are suffering.

what the article fails to disclose is what the parents allow the boys to do after school. Do the parents allow the boys to play 4-5 hours on the computer, game consoles, watch tv or, do the parents actually make the boys play outside. And what do parents make the boys do on weekends to help burn off their energy?

When Rusty50 says our culture has been feminized and boys are being raise by women and taught by women, he is underscoring the problem with this country when men don't want to meet their responsibilities and be there for their children. Boys are being raised by women because women recognize their responsibilities to their children. Men just want to continue to be boys and "play" and have fun. They are good at making the children but then once the children are around, too many men take off and run in the opposite direction. Wake up men - you are the ones stunting the growth of our boys - not the women.

I totally agree with the articles point of view. It seems that answers now a days are always found in medication. Rather than fixing the problem people just want to fix the side effects with medication. I think that re-evaluating how children spend their time at school and at home is essential. Kids are being forced to grow up too fast and for what? It's obvioulsy not doing anyone any good and hurting future generations. The fact that it's affecting boys more than girls could prove to damage society in a way we haven't even begun to see. Kid's should study and work hard but they should also enjoy playing, making friends, and learning how to be social.

the problem goes way deeper than any add or some superficial answer.People especially educated people refuse to be believe that we were created by a great creator God who made men and women differently for special roles.As long as we ignore that God all our problems are only going to get worse but we can thank Him that He will intervene shortly and straighten the mess we have made

what the article fails to disclose is what the parents allow the boys to do after school. Do the parents allow the boys to play 4-5 hours on the computer, game consoles, watch tv or, do the parents actually make the boys play outside. And what do parents make the boys do on weekends to help burn off their energy?

thank you for this article. I am the father of four school age boys. I have done everything by the book - giving kisses and hugs; informing them of the importance of an education; spending time with them; reading to them daily; being active in their school; having opened communication with their teachers....

Still my boys are having difficulty with learning. They do not have a genetic learning problem. They do have difficulty understanding the concept of the new math. They don't have recess in their school. They are not allowed to leave the building for lunch. The school has banned having parties for special occasions. Their excitement towards school is not what mine was when growing up. I couldn't wait to get to school. It was a place to have fun, meet friends, and learn about places that i had never been. This is not what is going on in the schools today. They are all about the grades! If your child is not making A's, you are a failure. When will learn that happiness needs to play an important factor in the upbringing of our children?

Oh and as for the people bemoaning the removal of God from schools, how do explain the success of schools in Asia or Europe, where the students routinely outperform American students on test. Most of Asia isn't Christina and Europe is much more secular than the U.S., and neither one injects God where he doesn't belong.

Does anyone find it strange that this problem only seems to exists in the US. I don't think the Europeans or Asians use different plastic products or have less pollution than we do, but we are the only one that seem to have these far out ideas of what is going on. I have a 4 year old daughter and sometimes she is very hyper and sometimes she isn't, that's just the way kids are. When I was a boy growing up, I was expected to study hard and make good grades, no exception and no excuses. While I agree that taking recess away is a bit extreme, I see no problem in having high educational standards and expectation for my daughter. I think it would be worse for her if I had no expectations at all.

Everything is moving too quickly in our society. Kids can't be kids anymore which is really sad. They are growing up too fast. They are getting involved in sex and drugs too early. There is not enough supervision and support to guide them through difficult times. They are left to fend for themselves. I say this as a parent who has witnessed it in her own children. I really wished I would have spent more time with my older 2 adult children and less time working. Because in the end it got us nowhere fast and left my children to fend for themselves and make their own choices. Not that it isn't good for them to learn to make their own choices but I should have been there more to guide them. I don't intend to let that happen with my younger 5 year old. I definitely intend to be there to take her to school & pick her up and spend quality time with her.

Boys are not allowed to be boys anymore. Our culture has been feminized to the point of male behavior being eliminated. The boys are raised by women, taught by women, and society is being driven by women. The boys are in the no man zone. Boys learn differently, need different stimulus and need a bit of rough housing on a daily basis. To put it bluntly the schools are turning the boys into pussies and the boys are in a position of having to be passive to succeed or be a boy and fail.

Boys tend be more rambunctious than girls. When we 40+ year olds were kids we WALKED to school to burn off some of that youthful energy. At noon, we would have recess or WALK home and back for lunch. Then, we would WALK home and be calm enough to do home work. Are boys no longer WALKING and they are rambunctious and fat???