Struggling School-Age Boys

Boys tend be more rambunctious than girls. When we 40+ year olds were kids we WALKED to school to burn off some of that youthful energy. At noon, we would have recess or WALK home and back for lunch. Then, we would WALK home and be calm enough to do home work. Are boys no longer WALKING and they are rambunctious and fat???

AMEN!!! I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one who feels kids are pushed way too hard and no longer allowed to be "kids". It's a sad shame and will only get worse if we allow it to continue. Perhaps taking the Ten Commandments and discipline out of the schools wasn't such a bright idea either. Kids need rules and boundaries as well as time to play and be kids.

I have to agree with the study. We have taken childhood out of children. I started to notice in in the early 70's and now it has grown to epidemic proportions. This is all in the name of competition and success. Well will God questions how successful you are on that day that you meet your maker, or will he question how you treated your fellow man. It's too late to turn back now, we vested way too much in the advancement of technology and ensuring that our children are capable of maintaining the value and increasing it's importance in society. No one is interested in slowing things down and allowing individuals to develop at their own pace/rate. If you can't keep up, then you are a proble. All of it is a damn shame, and we as adults in society should be very ashamed.

The way that I see it is that our parents generation and our parents' parents generations had good hard work for their children, male and female, to do. Children played hard and worked hard. Now we work hard behind a school desk and come home and play video games, or have well organized play dates in padded rooms. Does no one else see the connection?

Now we are seeing the ramifications of prayer being removed from the schools. When we eliminate God from our schools (and our culture), we have no better place to go than "crazy". No God? No morals. No God? No order. No God? No peace. No God? No more blessings on what we once called the nation "under God".

I have 4 boys and one girl. My 3rd son has been the victim of this mentality of zero tolerance and other policies. I have pulled him partially out of school this year so that he only takes the courses I do not have the resources to teach at home. He is so much happier. Even though he looks to be 16, he is only 13. He has been at the brunt of systematic bullying for years from staff and students. The staff have him pegged as a "bad" kid, thanks to a zealot principal the first year we moved here. That record goes with you everywhere and people think they know you before they even meet you. With the kids, it's chronic under the radar crap. Not enough for them to get into trouble. He took the proper channels, talked to staff, etc. Nothing is done. HE finally can't take any more, retaliates and gets hammered. Because we all know sweet little Suzy would never do anything like he accused her of. So many of our current discipline policies have nothing to do with reality. They are reactionary so the schools cover their butts in case of a lawsuit. My husband is a juvenile corrections officer, we could write a hundred page paper on all of the things that our society is doing to screw up our kids. Parents need to take back control and quit letting the schools, governments and so-called experts tell us what is best for our children.

Agree completely and would go one step further. Concurrent with the reduction or elimination in many cases of recess and free play, and in addition to escalating curriculum over the last 15 years, there was a distinct refocusing of curriculum and classroom instruction towards empowering girls. More focus on reading and written/verbal communication type learning through better female oriented coarse materials rather then hands on or analytical learning. The goal being to readress the balance for the decades of male focused education. The objective was valid but over done. Of course their are boys and girls who have ADHD, but an epidemic? There is no sudden epidemic of boy speciific ADHD. What has become epidemic is our national acceptance of the ADHD labeling of normal boys who by nature are physically acitive and tactical thinkers. As a parent, we must consider the "experts" opinions but ulitimately we are the experts about our children. The responsiblity to change this situation lies first and formost with us, If we are concerned then we need to advocate for our sons and make our voices heard at the school and government level, just as concerned parents did for there daughters previously.

Aaron does not have behavior problems. He just can't stay focused. And that alone enables him to learn. I do not like him taking this pill, But i want him to learn. Aaronsmommy baytown tx.

I am a mother of two boys. One just graduated and the other is in Elementary school. My oldest struggled all through school. He was never a behavior problem according to his teachers but, he just could not stay focused. He did do very well in hands on areas. By middle school this got worse. We new something was wrong but, uncertain just what it was. All of his Teachers thought they knew what was wrong; have him tested for ADHD and some even said he just needs Ritalin. Well they were so wrong,yet so eager to place him into this ADHD box. By the time High school rolled around, I started recieving phone calls from all his teachers informing us our son could not stay awake in class,any class. We started searching for answers and found that he has Narcolepsy. Narcoplepsy is a sleeping disorder with different levels/degrees. Narcolepsy in children manifests itself as ADHD and is usually misdiagnosed. At the end of my sons junior year, he was properly diagnosed (this is a very long process) and put on a stimulant to keep him awake.
On that day, he expressed to us, "if only I could have had this medication sooner,I could have done better in school. So, my is point is, not every child that struggles in school or has problems concentrating should be catergorized as ADHD and not every child can learn the same way. The Public School System needs to stop placing these kids in that box and labeling them.They are individuals with individual needs, problems, challenges,learning abilities.
We are now in the (long) process of having our younger son tested for Narcolepsy.

I agree with " J TEXAS". The schools in baytown treat our six yr olds like they are in military custody. That is ridiculous. DON'T WALK DON'T TALK DON'T SNEEZE. And they want to medicate our children for any little problem that our kids have. My Son came home with a " CONTRACT ", We both had to sign. "CLASSROOM RULES". Listen to this, Aaron was diagnosed in kindergarten with ADD. He only takes 4miligrams a day only on school days. After a "PARENT TEACHER CONFRENCE". I informed the school that he was now on the meds and IMMEDIAETLY the teacher said she saw a change in Aaron. I did not see a change in him except for constant sleeping. Already this school year, the special ed teacher has hinted that he needs to be on meds. I told her he would start re taking the meds on thursday, Can you believe she sent me a note home saying that Aaron has greatly improved. Guess what? I hadn't even started his meds until tuesday. So I sent her a note saying " that's funny", Aaron hadn't even started back on his meds, So the improvements he's made has been on his own. Then she sends a note saying Aaron is still having problems staying focused. I do agree that he has an issue but to medicate him for it, His father and I don't like the meds. Some mothers say the school gets paid by the state for all the children on meds for ADD and ADHD. What happened to the good ole days when we could be kids and enjoyed going to school? i HATE THE FACT THAT MY SON THINKS A " PILL", will make him smart and remember how to sound out the word cat. Any ideas on dealing with this issue? I believe strongly that the "teacher", doesn't have enough patience for these children, so hey, let's medicate them. And another issue i have is, Why keep pushing new things on him, when he hasn't even learned most of his pre k assignments. Aaron's Mommy. Baytown, TX

A not to Susiejosie's comment about "no child left behind" - I agree with most of your comments there. My son was tested and received a report from them this year, in first grade. He tested at the 99% range in 7 out of 8 areas this fall 9as in one week into first grade), and as a result the class is left with a higher bell curve to meet later in the term. I know my son is above average in reading and math etc, but I don't want that to have a negative affect on other students. That is just absurd.

I have a 6 1/2 yr old son and boy/girl twins who are 4. I have struggled with my older son's behavior at school since pre-school and although it has gotten SO MUCH better since I removed the toxins from my daily household products I will always worry that his "reputation" for being hyper will brand him throughout his school career. My younger son had some similar trouble and was the reason we looked into what toxins in our laundry, cleaners and overall household supplies were doing. It's been pretty amazing, the change. And making sure that I take time each morning to show my kids how they will have a great day and how well they will focus, ect has had a great impact as well, according to the three teachers I am currently working with. Do the research and get information. www.livetotalwellness.com/terrilynn

Wow...I have 2 boys that are now 27 months and 9 months. My older son has so much energy that I'm always looking for outlets for him to spend that energy. My second is just now crawling and he also looks like a baby full of energy. Being raised in a houseful of girls (I have 4 younger sisters), I can tell you that boys are a lot different. Before I had the two boys, I spent 5 years teaching high school and middle school. Boys, definitely are different than girls, but what about the boys that were much better than girls? I'd have to say, as a teacher, the problem I saw were that the boys who were my problem students had parents or caregivers that gave no attention to their sons. The parents were either not there, were very bad role models, or they stuck their kids in sports and test prep classes afterschool and wasn't paying attention to what their kids were doing in those activities. Bottom line, we, as parents, MUST do our jobs as parents. We cannot be lazy, we cannot be naive - we must be active in our children's lives and really care about what is going on around them. We chose to have kids, so BE RESPONSIBLE!

I have got to say that "No Child Left Behind" is one of the worst things happening in our school system today! The stigma of this so called progressive measure has collapsed the already delicate infrastructure. This law places strict guide lines that center around reading and math. The standardized tests are being started in third grade. THIRD GRADE!!!!!!! The name is misleading. The administration is using this law to measure not a student's progress but instead a school's. When a school doesn't measure up it is punished! These are not light punishments either,they are severe! My children's school did not make the grade. Now every parent of every child attending their school has the right to pull their child from that school and send them to another regardless of zoning laws. Our school is also loosing critical funding as punishment! Thiws isn't right, this stupid law has nothing to with the children and everything to do with the budget. Now the teachers are so scared that their students aren't learning they are forcing the cirriculum down the childs throat. I DO NOT BLAME THE TEACHERS! I do not know what the answer is to the gender issue but I know if we could go back to individualized teaching where the kids that are struggling would get more time with their teacher and the children that excel could tutor or lend their time to help the other students things should even out a bit. We are not raising robots! When we were children we learned that we are all different. Not only in appearance but our development is different too! everymorning my children wake up they are worried about the tests they have to take. They are in second and third grade! How sad to put that kind of pressure on children male or female! SOMETHING HAS TO CHANGE!

Yes,we should care for children.AND,we could find more ways to slove many more diffcult probems.I believe we can.THANK YOU!The author is great. http://blog.sina.com.cn/520zhanghong
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And yet another factor that has not been addressed is that boys and girls learn differently. Teaching methods that are ideal ofr one gender may not work for the other. Plus, there is a broad spectrum of learning needs; at one extreme is the child that needs extensive one-on-one tutoring, while at the other is the child that can grasp an abstract concept without teacher involvement. When teaching methods focus narrowly on one end of this spectrum or the other, and with the idea that the focus is on 'typical' students, those students whose learning needs fall outside the focus fall behind in peer-group learning. To make matters worse, such children are mis-labelled as 'special needs' students, when the only special need thet have is to be taught to their learning skills (instead of how thy're "supposed" to learn). Not everyone learns the same way, and this 'gap' is especially significant when boys' and girls' learning is compared. Formerly, boys outpaced girls in math, science, and other college-preparatory subjects because teachers taught to the boys' particular learning needs. Now that girls' learning needs have been addressed for a decade or more, this is considered the new 'norm' in education, and boys are being labelled as 'abnormal.'