Struggling School-Age Boys

I think another reason may be the changing family structure. No dad in the home leaving boys to having no male role model along with a lack of discipline contributes to a kind of confused, spoiled child. Which is not their fault. They need to know their role as a child. Be free to learn, and have fun and be a kid without other distracting factors. The family needs to come back together for the sake of these kids.

We can't discipline our children or bring them up the way our parents did when we were growing up. Get with the program OpenYoureyes77. Our rights as parents have been taken away. Jail time doesn't work for me. That's the way the government paved our way to bringing up our kids nowadays. KIDS have all the rights, jail time for those who break the rules. GET IT?

I have two boys (one 19 years old and 1 16 years old) and I have noticed that without my husband and I pushing our school and even some what our community our sons would not be in the best place. Boys are now often over looked for advanced classes in school because we now are pushing to excel girls. When did it become about what gender you are instead of are you capable of doing the work. When our sons attended preschools that did not work with acedemics, but with social skills and just plain fun. I think they are better for that, because when they started kindergarten they concentrated on learning and not social skills. Also just to mention that both of my children were July babies and went to school shortly after turning 5 (not waiting until they were 6) and my July 5th child was 3rd in his class and is now receiving 4.0 at RIT in Engineering and my July 28th son is in the to 10 of his class and plans to attend college in 2 years. Neither of my sons have anger issues or social problems. I think we need to go back to treating children like children, making parents responsible for being a parent and not making learning institutions responsible for everything, let them do what they are supposed to be and that is learning intitutions.

Well Said Mel-Vet

It's the medications, too many female teachers, it's the environment, it's the feminist movement, it's the food they're eating nowadays....we blame everything else and everyone else except the fathers and mothers who chose not to discipline their boy children. Then the same boys with no discipline get older, they walk into classrooms, malls and other public places and take the lives of other innocent civilians. Maybe even the lives of their parents too. Teachers have an easier time teaching our children when we discipline them. Period. We have a surplus of female teachers, because teachers are not paid very well and are overworked. How many men are willing to be underpaid and overworked? The more men who are willing to do so, hats off to them- right there your lack of male role models will be provided for. Bottom line- Discipline Your Boys!

As a husband and a father of two boys and two girls I agree with this article. I look around at playgrounds and parks durring the summer and there are rarely kids out playing. I only see organized sports and very few children just playing together. Organized sports are starting at a younger age now and they don't allow kids to have freedom and to learn on their own. I love sports and my son plays on organized sports teams. I just think boys need free time to learn, enjoy, and experience thing using their own ideas relate to their friends. Every boy's favorite part of elementry school is recess which is being reduced or eliminated from schools everywhere. I remember my elementry years. I couldn't wait for recess and lunch breaks. Now kids are in school longer with less breaks and come home with more homework. I rarely had homework until jr. high and highschool. Durring the summer and after school it was typicall for the neighboorhood kids to go to the local park and play tag, baseball, football, or any other game we could come up with. My mom had a hard time getting us to come in to eat. I think our society has changed greatly with kids being sent off to daycare, preschool, and after hours programs. Then some to sports and summer camps. I was a boy once and did not come from a perfect family but I wouldn't like that done to me. A boy has strong feelings of belonging and love towards thier families. I think boys are having dificulty because they don't feel respected by their families and are always being told what to do by teachers, coaches, daycare providers and their babysitters. And if that wasn't bad enough they don't get much time to be themselves. I'm not saying everything was perfect 20+ years ago or we shouldn't change some things but anyone must acknowlege this country's educational system and family structure of the past has built the one of the greatest nations of all time. Thanks for reading.

In regards to Hellen73's comments: I don't believe we have a generation of "weak Parents." What we have is a generation of self rightous people that seem to think that they know how to raise a child. With that being said...what has now happened is that parents are AFRAID to disipline their children for fear of being ACCUSED of child abuse. Whether or not the accusation is founded is irrelevant, and so is the fact of the lack of evidence and charges being dropped or not filed. The accustaion HAS BEEN made and sadly that is enough for some people.

JC0101 has the complete & right point that we should be challenging our children in school. We are testing our schools to death w/ the cookie cutter standardized testing. And the word "standard" is key here. Is that all we expect for a children in this global society is "standard"? "Basic'? How about "Higher"? We all need to take a greater look at our western idealogies and take the time to place our children first. We need to demand it of the system & our governing officials. We work to long, take to few vacations days, rape our schools of higher education benefits & then blame it on systematic, democratic & parental problems. All are true but no one is listening. If we are to succeed in the next decade we need to revamp & rethink our processes that are antiquated. Nurture our children, build schools that inspire, have programs that are progress & innovative. We should be the upper echalon on this plant but we fall very short. We can invest money rebuilding foriegn countries that we have bomb the hell out of but we ignore and neglect ther very esscence of ourselves. We should be teaching arts, sciences , mathmatics & languages to a far greater depth. There should not be 27 to 30 children in a class room. Our teachers should be paid far more & that would attract a better base of people to want to be in the education system. Business, community and yourself should be just as involved in what happens in the class room as our students are. I know I am, I am very involved with what happens to my children & their education. Not to mention what happens before and after schoo, let alone with in the home. We need to reinvent that stay at home parent again & help make that work for all of us. I am all for a better family unit, a better community, a better government and education system, not to mention a better world.

Part 2: The final problem is an abundant lack of discipline at school and at home. Parents are frequently afraid to discipline children because Child Protective Services is always lurking around the corner. There is a widespread misunderstanding about what classifies 'abuse'. This misunderstanding is not only with parents, but with children as well. Children have been given too much power. Children believe that if they are spanked that they are being abused. My 6 year old recently told me that he was going to call the police because I would not open the garage door for him. When I offered to drive him to the police station, he changed his mind. I have also been accused of abusing my child by a man in a parking lot because my son, angry at the time for not getting a candy, threw himself back into his car seat when I was putting him in the car. After I calmly told the man where he could place his opinion, I got in the car and started second guessing myself. Logically, I knew I didn't abuse my children, but was my opinion on abuse wrong? Was it abusive to leave the store and put him in the car when he behaved like he did? I don't think so, but someone did. While most parents realize that CPS would not have much to say about the subject, they are required to visit the home, and that can be a terrifying situation. At the very least a huge hassle. These government officials have the power to take our children away, even if just for a night, based on personal opinion on child rearing. My closing statement is that these problems not only affect boys, but girls as well. Boys are just historically and genetically (stereotypically anyway) more rambunctious than girls.

Part 1: In my opinion there are many factors that affect the way boys are behaving today. Some are not all that different from before and others have changed dramatically. First I will say that I am a mother of three boys, ages 14, 11, and 6. Two of which are developmentally disabled; one with Autism and the other with Asperger's. One reason is simple. Boys learn differently than girls. Studies have shown a significant difference in brain activity between boys and girls in the same situation. Schools today, as well as in the past, are catered more towards the way a girl learns. Boys would do better with simple changes such as standing while learning. This allows them to focus the parts of the brain used to learn on learning while the other parts are distracted with simple movement. Another problem is today's society's concern with self-image. I, of course, believe that self-image is important, but this is not achieved through allowing our children to believe that he or she is good at everything. We all have weaknesses, which is a word that has been banned from all human service fields. The politically correct term is 'area for improvement'. What children are infrequently being taught today is that no matter how good we are at something, someone is always better. Where is the need to constantly strive to do better? We are raising a generation of children who strive for mediocrity. We reward our children for completing basic tasks like cleaning their rooms??? that is if we even require that. Another problem is video games. On top of the increasing lack of social skill learned through peer contact, there is another problem...Games today create a need for instant gratification. Think about it, when many of us were kids, video games were scarce, but when we did find them we were given 3 lives and had to work like hell to get a fourth. When the lives were gone the game was over. We started from the beginning. Today kids are given three lives, 30 more in the first level, but what does it really matter? When the lives are lost the game asks them if they would like to continue where they left off. Simple situations like this, as well as many other situations, cause an overall feeling of a lack of consequences. If they mess up, all they have to do is request a 'do over'.

The experts discussed toxins in the environment such as plastic but they failed to include the many chemicals that have introduced into the children's bodies through food. Growth hormones, steroids and many others that are inadvertently passed through the food we eat. Poor diet, lack of sleep, poor parenting and yes, poor educators who cannot cope can also contribute to the "bloom" of bad behavior. The entire system needs to be revamped and there are no quick fixes, but I agree it does need to begin at home and follow the child into the school. As an innner city teacher, I witness the lack of parental involvement on the daily basis. Some of it is intentional but others simply have to work 2-4 jobs in order to support their families. Many of my students fall into the "ADD/ADHD" realm. I, myself, am ADHD - not on meds. I can control myself, I'm an adult who has learned self disciplined AND I have a military background. That makes a HUGE difference. I lead by example, I set a timer to help keep ALL of us on track and I ask that the kids helped out the space cadet in charge when I misplace the room keys and we're waiting to leave for the day. Yes, some days take their toll because they have a bad day usually when I'm having one. We take a quick music break or math kickball break and "keep stepping". We work together as a team and if someone is off their meds, we deal with it. We have developed a game plan from day one to become "AN ARMY OF ONE" :) BTW, you can usually tell which students have no discipline at home by the way they talk to an adult.

Seriously! - schools for girls run by women. Um not sure when you went to school, but I didn't have a male teacher until I reached highschool and I can bettcha that many others never even had one. Neither female teachers nor the schools are the cause of today's problems or de-manitizing these boys, it is the parents coddeling, lack of discipline and pointing the finger in all the wrong places that is the problem.

I agree that schools have gone overboard in banning recess and physical education class, along with focusing too much on "tests". Kids need to regularly get their energies out and recess is a great way to do it. I am all for bringing back free-play in elementary school, along with p.e. classes every day. Parents need to get involved with their children's teacher/schools and express their opinions. In my son's school the parent/teacher conferences run at 10%- only 1 in 10 parents take the time to meet with the teacher to discuss their child's school issues. This is terrible! We have to invest more time with our kids.

Parents also need to let their kids play out in the backyard, instead of heading to "enrichment" after-school activities. We don't want a generation of stressed-out kids! Childhood is so short these days- let's encourage our kids to play the way we did growing up. TV was not on all day, we actually dug in the dirt to make mud pies, we watched clouds and made up stories with our army men.

I think medicating our children is absolutely the wrong approach. It can be abused as an "easy" way out of dealing with kids but the damage it can do to a child is far-reaching. This is a problem in need of mutliple actions to help our school-age boys (and girls).

Part 1: In my opinion there are many factors that effect the way boys are behaving today. Some are not all that different from before and others have changed dramatically. First I will say that I am a mother of three boys, ages 14, 11, and 6. Two of which are develpmentally disabled; one with Autism and the other with Asperger's. One reason is simple. Boys learn differently than girls. Studies have shown a significant difference in brain activity between boys and girls in the same situation. Schools today, as well as in the past, are catered more towards the way a girls learns. Boys would do better with simple changes such as standing while learning. This allows them to focus the parts of the brain used to learn on learning while the other parts are distracted with simple movement. Another problem is today's society's concern with self-image. I, of course, believe that self-image is important, but this is not acheived through allowing our children to believe that he or she is good at everything. We all have weaknesses, which is a word that has been banned from all human service fields. The politically corrent term is 'area for improvement'. What children are infrequently being taught today is that no matter how good we are at something, someone is always better. Where is the need to constantly strive to do better? We are raising a generation of children who strive for mediocrity. We reward our children for completing basic tasks like cleaning their rooms, that is if we even require that. Another problem is video games. On top of the increasing lack of social skill learned through peer contact, there is another problem...Games today create a need for instant gratification. Think about it, when many of us were kids, video games were scarce, but when we did find them we were given 3 lives and had to work like hell to get a fourth. When the lives were gone the game was over. We started from the beginning. Today kids are given three lives, 30 more in the first level, but what does it really matter? When the lives are lost the game asks them if they would like to continue where they left off. Simple situations like this, as well as many other situations, cause a overall feeling of a lack of consequences. If they mess up, all they have to do is request a 'do over'.