Struggling School-Age Boys

I read a book titled Real Boys by William Pollack which significantly impacted the way we raise our 7-year old son. This book covers everything from how society impacts the way we raise our sons; the power of mothers and our seemingly failing education system and its impact on educating our sons.

Fantastic book!

I agree, what are we going to do about this, if so many of us agree. There are alomost over 100 post here already say I say we stand up and do something. posting messages on these site are not going to help. the next time a teacher tells you to take your kid to ther doctor, you need to tell him/her that you kid is just fine and that he is just being what God made him, "a Boy"

I agree with the posts. I have 2 young boys, one who just started kindergarten and has already been in trouble for "hugging" another child. My question is...If there are so many of us out there that agree, shouldn't there be something that we can do about it?

My husband is a high school teacher. This year he has 179 students. Tell me, HOW is that a GOOD thing for either a boy or a girl??? When a parent considers the task put before the teacher, grading 179 papers a day, teaching 179 students each day, answering 30 - 80 parent emails a day (school has a mandatory 24 hour return reply rule!), following some of the students special education plans, lesson planning for 179 students, making sure they teach to the test the school will use to evaluate the teacher, etc., how on earth can you expect better results? Most teachers - like my sister, husband, brother-in-law, and nieces - all have to hold second jobs just to pay the bills. That means--- no staying after school to help those who struggle in the classroom. It isn't that the teacher doesn't WANT to be there to help. Many teachers go into school 1.5 hours before the day has begun to provide help for struggling kids - but a single parent teacher wouldn't be able to do this if she had to wait for the daycare to open! Every teacher I have talked to HATES that we over-medicate our boys. If anyone sees the over-medication of our children, it is your child's classroom teacher. They do not want to teach a zombie-like child, but how can you expect them to try to handle a child's out-of-line behavior when there are 179 of them in a school day and no recess or break time to blow off steam?! Let's be realistic about what we are asking our schools and children to do! If we want change for our children, real change not dependent on their gender (or ability to sit still) then let's address the overcrowding of our schools, removal of vocational trades classes for the skill-inclined students, lack of a living wage for teachers, lack of parental support of teachers, and put to task those professionals who keep suggesting medication over longer PE and Recess times and vocational-track classes. Get real! Our kids need to play AND learn, and we need to respect that we are not all cookie cutter replicas of each other! Some of us will never do well at a desk. That's why we have TRADES like auto mechanics, carpenters, construction workers, etc.

I would have to agree with the author more than the global warming and pollutants jive. Alot of is the current rote system, kids are taught a test and not the subject matter-therefore; they lose interest, the NEA and their overwhelming political pressure on schools, political correctness where boys are no longer allowed to be boys. Kids are not allowed to have real heroes anymore such as; Jesus Christ, God, George Patton, Wild Bill Hickock, George Washington---why? Racism and Political Correctness and the angry white Eurpoean Male Oppressors theroy?

My son had the same problems and those problems have followed myself and him into adulthood. Hopefully this article will get more attention to help this overlooked situation. I've never heard the author's name before but I am happy someone has noticed this enigma.

My son had the same problems and those problems have followed myself and him into adulthood. Hopefully this article will get more attention to help this overlooked situation. I've never heard the author's name before but I am happy someone has noticed this enigma.

The other day, my 6 year old son came home from school, very excited about Art class. He told me he learned about an Artist. When I asked who, he said he didn't remeber his name, but he did cut off his ear and shot himself to death. How is this pertinent to a 1st grader? How unappropriate is that? What ever happened to cutting, coloring and painting in Art class?

I agree with the posts. I have 2 small boys, one who just started kindergarten and has already been in trouble for "hugging" another child. My question is...Since there are so many parents that agree, what are we going to do about it?

School is run by women for the benefit of girls and to the detriment of boys. My son is now 16, and I have been seeing this since pre-school, and saying so. I was branded a kook. Many of these teachers are feminists who hate men and take it out on the little boys. The female teachers that are divorced have an ax to grind against men too, and it often comes out in the classroom. I have seen this with my own two eyes, and I know I am not wrong. TV showing dorky fathers and sons and savvy mothers and daughters doesn't help either for boys and society at large to have a good image of them. Curriculums have been feminized,
especially the reading material. What boy wants to read a "girl" book? It would also help to have men in the schools at the lower grades. I personally advocate single sex schools where boys can learn to be men and
gitls can learn to be women without the distraction of the opposite sex. It has been proven over and over that boys learn differently from girls, so why should one group be shown preference over the other? What is going on today is just wrong., and something needs to be done and soon!! These boys don't need medication and therapy. They need a level-playing field. Sound familiar?

Great article! What is with the medicating our boys, what so they can be sombies? Let them play and yes do some physical work, not sit in front of the TV, computer and yes playing video games all day. What happened to the teachers teaching?? Arithmetic, reading, writing, spelling, english, hello any one out there??
I loved school back in the days where PE was manditory and recess, WOW! we use to look forward to just running around in the fresh air. It's sad how our schools have to be politically correct. Discipline is another thing unheard of. And what is wrong with the language these kids use nowadays? Very young children using obscene words, and where do they learn it from? Parents need to look at home, give some attention and discipline with love.

I think it's ignorant and naive for anyone to act as if boys are the only behavior problems in schools. Boys are more conspicous with their behavior than girls. We've all experienced some form of bullying whether we are boys or girls. Most of the time, the boys got the "book thrown at them" and the girls "got away with murder". I think it goes back to the perception that girls are sweet and gentle and that boys are rough and undisciplined. I am a married woman of three. I have three boys to be exact and they are totally different from the way that I was as a child. I look at the differences between how my husband and I look at their behavior. It doesn't bother my husband to see them rough-housing, running around in circles, or going up and down the stairs for no reason at all. To me, it's annoying. I think they should sit quietly and read a book. I think they should color. I think that should do something "constructive". But is constructive activity constrictive for them? I think schools need to recognize the differences between boys and girls and not to make them conform but be more flexible and dynamic in their approach. Teachers, administrators, and parents need to realize that children learn in different ways and it doesn't matter what sex they are. To teach a biology lesson, some children would rather be in a creek looking for tadpoles or frogs rather than reading about them in a book inside of a classroom. I think we should all be willing to do what it takes to make sure that our children test well, but that they also develop a sense of discovery and life-long learning.

I have 3 fifth graders in the same school. Different things are expected of each and grading for the same test or homework is done differently. It is hard for me to know how to accept this. They are all learning geometry and algebra which I did not even touch on until sixth or seventh grade. They were learning this last year. One of my sons has been labeled a "daydreamer" and even though he is extremely intelligent, he struggles to make a's and b's even with medication. His sister gets straight a's without cracking a book. They are each made to do a science project that is equivalent to a senior project, and 5 indepth reading projects on top of their other homework, so we have little time for much else in our home. This has made for tense children and no time to enhance family relations.I want to know where the government gets off tring to make college grads out of our elementary school children. My 4 year old has to essentially be a rocket scientist just to start school. School was not as stressful for me as a senior in high school as it is for my poor fifth graders. I am frustrated and disgusted with the entire system!!!! Don't even get me started on "teaching for the tests" because that is all their entire year revolves around for 13 years of school!

Wow..My son thought he was stupid, because he was "labeled" stupid. Who would have thought my son who aced all of his class work, aced every exam, attended school every single day, would not receive a diploma because of sub-standard homework turned in. That's right! He couldn't graduate because of his sub-standard HOMEWORK!! Hows that for a Hoot? Shame, shame and more shame......

Comment: I know that we as parents and teachers should work together as a whole . Our kids are suffering from lack of structure and love that first starts from home. This is the foundation (key). Parents have to strat taking more time out to spend with the children to be able to know what on there minds and how they are feeling on a daily basis about some of the things that may take place in school and out of school. We as parents have to standd up and take full responsibitiy as of to whast is required to make sure that our children get the best education possible and that take some sacrificing . Kids are a product of there environment and that 's what you as a parent instill in them. It's not the teachers job to ensure that the child is discipline that's our jobs as parents. Teachers you should come to school to do above and beyond the call of duty because after all you polay a very important role as well. This world would be a better place if there was more teachers that was dedicated to there job which menas taking out the time to recognize when there is a student that may need extra help and coming up with resoulutions to assist. Stop assuming b/c a child distracts the class they need to be introduced to medicine, that isn't the answer to days society and parents stop allowing the teacher to tell you that . As

I have three sons and none of them attended preschool. I was shocked when they entered Kindergarden and were expected to read. My oldest son adjusted with tutoring, but my middle son had and is having trouble. He repeated Kindergarden and is still not really up to par. I received multiple calls from the teacher and even the principle, they thought he had a learning disabilty. I had him tested and the conculsion was that boys mature differently then girls and he would eventually catch on. I did some research and found out that years ago teaching was geared toward boys and girls fell behind. Teaching techniques were changed and geared more toward girls so now boys fall behind. I agree whole heartedly with this article and we need a solution to this problem before more of our sons fall through the cracks.

I totally understand what is being talked about here. i live in a very small country community. our teachers have been made to drop very important subjects to focus on only things that are tested by our goverment on. So what if they get behind on these other lessons we still will have goverment funding so the teacher lounge will be nice! They have even taken away P.E. of all things . The nation has an epidemic of obesity and they take away the only exercise they all are getting. I feel if something isn't done about how hard our children are being pushed we will see the damages in the very near future with more Columbine like tragedy.

As a special education teacher I'm aware of how the brain learns. The official voice of American Pediatritions has spoken. TV is bad for the first two years and even three years of a child's life. Movement in the early years develops the neurons in the brain, connects the brain hemispheres, and creates strategies to assemble new information. Pretending, dress up, role playing helps the child through age 6-7 to integrate how the world works. Kindergarten use to be guided play: songs, movement, pretend, stimulated the senses such as touch/eye-hand coordination with finger painting -- now the children are expected to sit, write, memorize two deminsional information. In California the kindergarteners are expected to be reading no matter the maturity level. Standardized testing begins in the 2nd grade (7 years old). The government should make sure schools have adquate facilities, equipment, and good administration -- not punish us.
Lana