Struggling School-Age Boys

As a parent, I cannot agree more with this alarming trend. As parents we must stop programming our children and trying to fill their every waking moment with so-called "enriching," sometimes artificial, stimuli all in the name of a well-rounded education. They need time to play, to figure things out, to explore the world around them - and to settle their own problems on the playground, to find their own fun, and to learn from their own mistakes.

As a teacher, I would also like to challenge our society to take a look at what you are asking your schools to do. "No Child Left Behind" sounds like a great idea - until you try to actually do it. Society wants to see great test scores, but schools have a finite schoolday, and there are serious repercussions for not making Adequate Yearly Progress. Something has to give. Unfortunately, it is our students caught in this crossfire. In the name of academic progress, we have to give up things like recess, art, music, and ironically, physical education.

As a society, if we want to see our children grow up to be responsible, productive citizens, we need to back off on these artificial demands. The reality is that not every child can be "proficient" in math and reading - but we can help them to do the best that they can do. It is time to take education away from the politicians, and put it back where it belongs: in the hands of parents, teachers, and schools.

God forbid that we allow our children a little free time to express there true nature. I am a single dad with two boys, and have had the privilege of raising them since birth. One thing I know for sure is that society in America has misplaced many of the values we built our great country on. Government control is overwhelming the parents control and destabilizing families. Constant nurturing, observing and discipline from the family would be a good start. That requires parents to be involved. To refocus there goals from a money driven , jones syndrome 10 to 12 hour work day attitude. Stop expecting school and activity schedules to raise our children. Government legislations and regulations that discipline our children. And drive home our family values. Oh, by the way, most state legislatures do not believe a man should raise young children. I BEG TO DIFFER.

Thank you! Thank you!
First this makes me feel a lot better about how my son relates in school and how he feels when things are too structured. When he is not allowed to express himself the way he was born to. Second, how do we get our schools on board??? Anymore, the schools have taken the fun of recess off of the playground. For example, the types of things they can play are very limited, they are lucky to have some swings on the playground. Another thing that gets to me is every night he is sent home with so much homework it makes me wonder what the heck they do in school all day? How can he enjoy his childhood and have unstructured play time if he has to spend so much time doing homework every night? We have struggled with this ever since he started school and this is the first article I have read that says this. I definitely want to settle myself down with this as well, in our home life ... it leads me to question if I am doing these same things??? I hope more people read this :)

I am at wits end with our Texas public school! Having two girls and one boy in the school system, and working there as a sub I have realized just how awful the system is! For the two girls in 2nd and 4th all you hear is TAKs TAKs TAKs..... Every school year the teachers start telling you how the kids have to pass the TAKs test Blah Blah.. The teachers are forced to cram TAKs down our childrens throats all year till time for the test! After the test the teachers can then begin to teach the other things that they feel is important for that age child to learn. The girls haven't had any problem, my son on the other hand is DIFFERENT! He is 5 in kindergarten, and went to Pre K last year he is always in trouble! This year he has been put on meds for ADHD, not sure if that is going to help or not! But my point is that in his Kindergarten class the school has taken away the naps that our school has always had in Kindergarten! At 5 I think that a nap is still important! The other thing is that from 11:25 until 3:31 the kids are stuck in the class room for learning time. Before 11:25 the kids have recess, PE, and lunch...Is 4 hours straight in a class room for a 5 year old crazy or what! The teacher has said that most discipline problems are happening during that time...... Should that not be a clue to the school that maybe they are asking for too much!!

This article really supports paying attention to gender in education. This new style of teaching to the test is not suited for biys. Males and females see and hear differently and it affects the way a child should be taught. I am a teacher and mother of a son and daughter. I see how different they are and how they respond to different assignments. We as educators need to speak up and the system needs to change to teach in a style suited for each gender. Most boys do not need medication, they are acting the way they are supposed to act and just because it is hard to create different activities for girls and boys does not mean we should not do it.

I totally agree that school is becoming harder for our kids. My son just started kindergarten this year. he did not go t opreschool but stayed home with me and his younger brother. His day is very long and very structured. He begins school at 9:00am and gets out at 3:30. They have only a half hour recess with no other breaks throughout the day. There is no morning recess or nap time. The tachers have already prepared me that kindergarten is now the new first grade. Why can they not just let kids be kids,. I am also a teacher (but am choosing to stay home with my children) and when I was employed it was a lot of teaching to the test and it was vert strict. I taught grade 6 and there were no recesses school was 7 hours long. The students would get in line to to lunch and the restroom for 25 minutes tehn right back to class. They had no recess or free time. They wen t to PE 2-3 times a week for 1/2 hour. No wonder our kids are over active and have a hard time paying attention sometimes. I think their are to many kids on drugs maybe some activity in their day may do them some good.

I agree with this study completely, my kids have been bringing home homework since preschool, and by first grade homework and reading could easily take an hour a night. Four times a year they are given tests to see if they are moving along at a pace that will allow them to pass the high school exit exam...starting in 1st grade!!!! Everthing they are taught must serve some sort of testing goal, my son is in 5th grade and he can do basic algebra, but has not studied geography (not even learning the names of the 50 states), history (american or world), basic economics or finance. These are things that matter, knowing how to add money is great, bot understanding how its earned and spent is more important, unless a career as a cashier is the goal, our kids need more than reading and math. And do you remember the days when the class clown or kid who did not listen was simply a touble maker, got detention or saturday school and life went on. Now a kid acts up and the school puts together a "study team" to review the situation and advise solutions (medication). And then there is the fear after school shootings that is blown WAY out of proportion. When my son was six years old and did not want to listen to his teacher he said he was 'gonna blow up the school', they called the police, a school counselor, me and the superintendent down to decide what to do (he was expelled)...all that attention, wonder why he said it several more times whle in kindergarten? I understand the need to take threats seriously, but should they not at least be remotely credible threats?

Thank you! Thank you!
First this makes me feel a lot better about how my son relates in school and how he feels when things are too structured. When he is not allowed to express himself the way he was born to. Second, how do we get our schools on board??? Anymore, the schools have taken the fun of recess off of the playground. For example, the types of things they can play are very limited, they are lucky to have some swings on the playground. Another thing that gets to me is every night he is sent home with so much homework it makes me wonder what the heck they do in school all day? How can he enjoy his childhood and have unstructured play time if he has to spend so much time doing homework every night? We have struggled with this ever since he started school and this is the first article I have read that says this. I definitely want to settle myself down with this as well, in our home life ... it leads me to question if I am doing these same things??? I hope more people read this :)

I don't buy the argument that boys need to be more active than girls. I am a woman, and was very much a tomboy growing up - I was quiet and shy but I loved sports. I have also heard 'boys are just louder than girls' tru in my case because I was so shy, but I know of so many girls who are plenty loud - just proves the point that we shouldn't expect to be so cut and dried on our gender sterotypes. Being active helps everyone to have more energy and bring oxygen to the brain. Obviously, focusing on the gender has not worked. We need to realize that kids regardless of their gender, are different, some are readily good a 'academic' skills which translates into good students while others are more athletic, artsy, musical, etc. and so we need to remember that this is OK - adults are also just as varied. 'Grown-ups' have jobs that fit all of those categories so it shouldn't come as a surprise that kids might excel in different ways. We should vary the lessons and the school day so it incorporates more activity and allows for integration of the different skills and interests. I have seen where boys and girls are made to read boring books trying to make them better readers but since they have no interest they are not motivated to get into it. In that case they should be able to read about anything - you can read about every subject! Of course, sometimes you have to read about subjects that don't interest you as part of a well rounded education - that's life. I also see problems with our school system - no discipline and no allowance for teachers to do so, and parents get angry if their kid is the subject of discipline because their angel couldn't possibly need any, right? Also, terrible nutrition in terms of the food - shall I say artificial colors, flavors, sugars, preservatives and over-processed, low quality - not to mention allergies - this does not help in being able to concentrate? Also, the kids are not learning basic life skills - of course they should learn it from their parents but for whatever reason, many are not, for example money management, living within a budget, cooking, parenting skills, work ethic, healthy lifestyle... I could go on... I worry about both genders and also my peers becasue so many apparently have not learned these things themselves. We need to take responsibility for our selves and be accountable we need to teach our kids that. In light of the prevalence of single-parent (mother) households we need to also encourage men to go into teaching because both boys and girls need to see what to expect of a good man - boys for the role models and girls so they can not go off looking for male approval in inappropriate, self-destructive ways. There is nothing wrong with recognizing our differences but we should be so rigid in categorizing people as being in one group or another.

All interesting viewpoints; however, we cannot discount that the issue here is probably a combination of environment, gender integration, family life, and how the school districts are in competition with each other for bragging rights of the highest test scores, possibly overlooking the stress it places on the students, regardless of gender.. And teachers are the ones with the toughest jobs, since our children spend the majority of the day with them, so the pressure is on the teachers from both a school administration and student standpoint. I can't imagine having the wherewithall to stand in front of a classroom of 20+ kids 5 days a week keeping them engaged in learning. We as parents need to realize that we are setting an example for our children - too much TV leaves kids wide open to a constant barrage of advertising so that our lives are filled with "stuff" - no substance! We're all (in varying degrees) guilty of consumerism. We all (parents, teachers, grandparents, caretakers, etc) need to think about how this affects our children (regardless of gender) 10 years down the line. It's a question we need to ask ourselves in every decision we make in the interest of our children - will this hurt or help them in the future? Every adult involved in our childrens' lives needs to think about this - we won't have an opportunity to do it over...

AMEN, this is a much needed topic that needs to be brought up more in public, I had to put my child into a private school to be able to keep him off the medication and out of trouble. My son is just a boy and we all know that boys will be boys. So Kudos to the writer of this article you have my attention and i hope you grab alot more, you deserve it...........I also agree with the person that left a comment about schools teaching kids things they may never use but they cant even go out and balance a checking account or get a loan because they were never shown how....Schools depend way to much on parents these days and if we as parents are going to have to teach are kids these things then why the hell are we sending them to school?

It seems as though our culture as a whole has changed over the last decade. We grew up with chores. We got presents at Christmas and birthdays, not every time we went to the store with our mother. Video games did not exist, nor did computers. Discipline has certainly changed. I was afraid of "the paddle", which kept me in line at school, and "the belt" at home.

As for the schools, I don't remember homework until I was in 5th grade, and that was only for a school project. I have a kindergartener who has homework every night. Are they programming them or burning them out? In high school, students who are not in "honors" classes but get straight A's will not qualify for an Ivy League school, and yet half of the honor students are socially inept because they have had to bury their entire life into schoolwork.

Not to say that environmental factors do not have an impact on children. I think they do, but we've let too many things slide like discipline, social and physical activities, and family life, which I think has an even larger influence.

This might come as a shock to everyone, but we humans (male and female) were not designed for our modern times. Hence, males have been re-programed to be anything other than their original design. We are trying to cope with the rules set down by lawmakers and are hopelessly loosing a battle we can't fight. It comes down to the almighty dollar.

I have 4 boys, 8, 10, 11, & 12. The older 3 were adopted from orphanages overseas. The cleaning products used in orphanages are the same type used in public schools: INDUSTRIAL STRENGTH
Our youngest however was born in Montana, clean air and lots of running around in the mountains. The 3 older boys health has improved so much by cleaning our house with eco-friendly products, vitamins and organic foods and that good old recreation outside that they are nearly as healthy as our biological son. I am talking about reversing the 7-10 year effects in 12 months! Plus we parents are vegetarians so the kids all eat a ton of raw veggies. Diet and exercise is not the priority at school. They cut recess and send homework to make the school day longer not realizing that the kids can't do all the work because they haven't had a good meal or any time to "get the wiggles out"