Struggling School-Age Boys

I'm a woman, single mom and I totally agree with WDNetherton, but only to a certain degree. Yes there is too much emphasis on "girl power", but society has forgotten our boys. And that is the sad truth.

EVERYONE PLEASE PLEASE check yourselves. Is drugging your child really the answer!!!! I work for a Pharmaceutical company SO I KNOW THE IN???S AND OUTS and side effects OF the ADHD/ADD MEDICATIONS and HOW HARMFUL the side effects can happen to a child in the future. I have a child who is 9 years old who is a BOY and yes I was also asked to place my child on medication because they ???suspected??? ADHD (hyper activity) with him although he is a (A) plus student but gets bored in class after he completes his assignments and started to act hyper. I suggested to the school teacher and principal to give my child something in class to do (like some extra work or cleaning the black bored or helping the teacher) to grasp his attention when he gets bored to not to distract other students (I do this at home and it works). Understand that ALL of the medication that is being poked into the children IS NOT A CURE and even as the child gets older they will NOT BE CURED so you???re WASTING YOUR MONEY. The ADHD/ADD medication is just like a street drug and the children are only getting a fix until the next day and the day after and so on and so on. Basically you are giving your children medication as a quick few hour fix just to behave or pay attention in school when they only need attention or extra help from the teachers. Some teachers are NOT willing to help because they just want the kids to be like zombies or a robot. If the child really has an issue according to your health care physician then try the medication but just know and understand THERE IS NO CURE FOR ADHD/ADD. Don???t believe me ask your health care physician THIS IS A FACT.

Gyanni: Girls develop in a more cerebral and academic way, which is why it is easier for them to sit at a desk and attend to the task, while boys develop in a more mechanical and physical way, which is why they need more physical and hands-on activities and less "structure". This explains why boys struggle more in the classroom environment, especially with the tendency now to "teach to the test" which is the norm.

EVERYONE PLEASE PLEASE check yourselves. Is drugging your child really the answer!!!! I work for a Pharmaceutical company SO I KNOW THE IN???S AND OUTS and side effects OF the ADHD/ADD MEDICATIONS and HOW HARMFUL the side effects can happen to a child in the future. I have a child who is 9 years old who is a BOY and yes I was also asked to place my child on medication because they ???suspected??? ADHD (hyper activity) with him although he is a (A) plus student but gets bored in class after he completes his assignments and started to act hyper. I suggested to the school teacher and principal to give my child something in class to do (like some extra work or cleaning the black bored or helping the teacher) to grasp his attention when he gets bored to not to distract other students (I do this at home and it works). Understand that ALL of the medication that is being poked into the children IS NOT A CURE and even as the child gets older they will NOT BE CURED so you???re WASTING YOUR MONEY. The ADHD/ADD medication is just like a street drug and the children are only getting a fix until the next day and the day after and so on and so on. Basically you are giving your children medication as a quick few hour fix just to behave or pay attention in school when they only need attention or extra help from the teachers. Some teachers are NOT willing to help because they just want the kids to be like zombies or a robot. If the child really has an issue according to your health care physician then try the medication but just know and understand THERE IS NO CURE FOR ADHD/ADD. Don???t believe me ask your health care physician THIS IS A FACT.

EVERYONE PLEASE PLEASE check yourseleves. Is drugging your child really the answer!!!! I work for a Pharmaceutical company and yes I do have a child who is 9 years old who is a BOY and yes I was asked to place my child on medication because they suspected ADHD because he is a A plus student but got bored in class and started to act it out. There is a simple solution that MOST TEACHERS dont want to do and it is to give the child something that grasps there attention to do in class to not to distract other students. Understand that ALL of the medication that is being poked into the children IS NOT A CURE and even as the child gets older they will NOT BE CURED so your WASTING YOUR MONEY. The ADHD medication is just like a drug actic getting a fix until they can get the next hit so basically you are giving your children medication as a quick few hour fix just to behave in school when they only need attention in certain area's which teachers are NOT willing to do. If the child really has an issue according to your health care physician then try the medication but just know and understand THERE IS NO CURE FOR ADHD.

boys needs are different than girls but the schools want all girl there easy to teach, boys do thing differently
they learn differently than girls every one is so head strong about making there schools stronger , well the more they have done that the more boys grades have declined but god forbid the school are doing some thing wrong it just has to be a hole generation of male children have become stupid . I hope some one see this and it help them sorry about the grammer and spelling i am just a locksmith

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

At last, the 'experts' have figured out what I've been saying for years! But then, I'm just a parent. My input is irrelevant. The school system has insisted that children act like adults from age 6, or there's something wrong with them. They implement more and more and more 'structure,' and have completely eliminated any opportunities for a kid to just be a kid. This goes for boys AND girls, and ALL ages.

My kids are 20 (son, who opted for a GED) and 16 (daughter, still in High School), so I have been arguing this issue for years! In High School, they have 5 minutes between classes. Even that isn't enough time in a large school. There are no breaks during the school day. And they wonder why kids socialize in class!

Kids are naturally playful creatures! Teenagers are naturally social creatures! Yet schools demand that they deny that nature, and act like robots, sitting quietly and absorbing hours of instruction in a format the school system deems appropriate, with no regard for the interests or learning preferences of the students. They try desperately to eliminate any individuality a child might demonstrate.

And then, they expect kids to know what their career goals are by the time they reach High School! Trust me! The average 14-year-old doesn't know what they want to do next week, much less should they be held responsible for knowing what they want to do for the rest of their lives! And if they do have a goal in mind, it had better be a 'respectable' one, or they'll get no help whatsoever.

I feel that very, very few of the children on medication these days really need it. As a parent, I try to foster good self-esteem in my children by accepting them for who they are. I don't compare them to each other, or other kids, or myself. They are very different from each other, and very different from me. I'm fine with that. I RESPECT their right to be themselves. Yes. That's right. I RESPECT my children! Wow! What a concept! And you know what? They respect me in return!

Instead of respecting the differences in children, the school system insists that they all be the same, recommending counseling and little magic 'robot pills' for those who dare to be kids! And parents who don't comply may find themselves answering to Social Services, with the full backing of the court system!

Perhaps if the school system, and society in general, had more respect for individuality, there wouldn't be such a large portion of the country seeking treatment for mental health issues. Instead, there's constant pressure from every direction to be just like everybody else. No wonder people are miserable! They're doing all the things that society says they're supposed to do, and have all the things that society says they're supposed to want, but it just doesn't feel right. GET THIS! IT'S OKAY TO BE YOU!

I agree with the author that the problem stems from greater expectations at a younger age than development allows. This is only the tip of the iceberg. Changes need to be made, not more studies. We've been to our share of "Professionals" as well, only to have been told that at my then aged 10 year old needs to be put on valium and that he needs to enter therapy, although the doctor prefaced the prescription by stating "I don't know if therapy will help, I don't want to waste your money, I don't think he will open up. So when do you want to schedule the appointments, I'm fillng up pretty fast". Our children are too medicated to dicover their voice.

We live in a highly regarded school district, but all I've witnessed so far are many overscheduled, stressed children who are not involved in activities for thier passions but for their resumes. And after all this, less than one percent of children who are pressured into this way of thinking to get into their goal top ivy league schools.

All children need to find their voice, and most find it later than their childhood, adolescence or teens. Just look at most of our figureheads who have made an impact on society, science and research; many of whom we labeled "incapable", "distracted" , "unfocused" and without direction. But Einstein, Darwin, Linclon and so many others turned out OK.

The question is ..... what do we do with the school system that just will not see our point of view??? Seriously If I could afford private school that is what i would do, but that is not possible! It seems that we have to just take it as it is because there is nothing that we can do!

The problem is lack of personal interaction, everything is through computers, pda's, and cellphones with texting, there is no real face to face interaction anymore. Society as a whole is going down, we need person to person live intereraction. When I was growning up, there were no cell phones, video games, or computers, if I wanted to communicate something to someone I went up to that person and communicated it. If I wanted to play, I actually went outside and yelled out to my friends accross the street or up the block and we played, real games like; freeze tag, hop scotch, kickball, we didnt sit in our bedrooms or livingroooms in front of a pc or television and chatted with them online. We need more person to person face to face interaction.

Many households include kids that participate in many activities (sports/clubs) beyond school hours, but the "mandarin in kindergarten" crowd would include elite and private schools at best. The amajority of kids are in schools where yes, they have cut down or eliminated recess but have also cut out fine arts and foreign language. My concerns regarding the behavior of many boys is not related to overscheduling, but underparenting. Having two teenage sons, I see not only what shapes their behavior, but that of their friends. To me the single stongest factor is the time they spend NOT INTERACTING.. We are looking at the outcome of kids, boys in particular, who spend hours in front of a television -either watching mindless programming or playing video games - or surfing the internet. In moderation this is completely acceptable. HOWEVER - when you begin to prefer activity that is isolating, then what happens? You don't pay attention when someone is talking to you - you don't maintain eye contact - you don't foster relationships. I recognize ADHD as a concern and don't diminish it's existence or relevance to the conversation. But I DO NOT believe it is as epidemic as implied. I believe that too many parents find it easier to turn on the TV or allow hours of video games than to engage their kids. I won't make a pariah of working parents or single parent homes either - but if you are looking for some of the causes of these behaviors, there are other plausible reasons than ADHD. The focus needs to be on solutions rather than medication in more of these circumstances.

While all the issues discussed in this article are factual, the author seems, in my opinion to be leaning towards schools putting too much 'pressure' on our children, especially our sons, as the reason for which they are struggling. I think not, children spend way too many hours in front of the television, have no responsibilities and complain about going to school. Children need some semblance of structure. Work and play need to be diversified throughout a child's life and a childs mind can easily pick up new languages.
Children in other countries learn to be multi-lingual and understand basic concepts of language, science and maths without injury at a young age. U.S. children have the shortest school year out of all the developed countries. Maybe if schools weren't so overcrowded, or parents spent more time with their children, playing or learning, or both, some of the issues that plauge our children, boys and girls would not exist.

For those discerning individuals who believe that this is a real issue in our society and not just a flash in the pan story on national level- please read Dr. Leonard Sax "Boys Adrift". Whether we agree completely with the Dr. diagnoses or not, he elevates our understanding on this extremely important subject. This book I regard as a must read for parents of boys.

Children today are treated as if they are mini adults. It is unnatural for a child to sit for eight hours a day, not being able to talk or play. Children understand so much more by hands on learing. If you can feel five apples, or jump five times you will remember the number five. If you can go outside and dig in the dirt you can actually see and feel what is in the soil. But to make our children sit in a classroom with no recess and forcing their little bodies to be still and quiet, we are taking away the very part of them that makes our children so wonderful.

I have three boy's and each are very different. However I agree that the schools are looking to make both boy's and girl's into testing machines. Each year I go to the open houses and all I hear about is how well our districted score and how they are adding more english and math classes and pushing aside P.E. and other classes that help kids blow off steam, but team them social and team skills. For those of you that may say well have them play sports outside of school, well I do or at least try. However this year my 6th grader, has on average 4-5 hours of homework per night! I'm sorry but that is a hell of a lot of homework for a 6th grader. He has no time to blow off steam except for the 45 min. of PE which isn't enough time in my opinion. He play's football, but he can't go to practice cause of the amount of homework he has. Like one of the posters said it's not up to the school to raise children and I don't want them to. However they are using them to get a plaque on the wall and a district recognition, at the expense of thier over all development.

I think maybe we need to have recess for the children, they naturally have alot of energy and the school system is quick to "label" your child with some disability because they won't "behave" in the classroom. If you have a child like this try putting them in private school!!! I would have if I could have afforded it, and I recommend it. What happens is they end up losing all they're self esteem and eventually quit school because the school system gets to make all the decisions regarding your childs education.