Struggling School-Age Boys

I am at wits end with our Texas public school! Having two girls and one boy in the school system, and working there as a sub I have realized just how awful the system is! For the two girls in 2nd and 4th all you hear is TAKs TAKs TAKs..... Every school year the teachers start telling you how the kids have to pass the TAKs test Blah Blah.. The teachers are forced to cram TAKs down our childrens throats all year till time for the test! After the test the teachers can then begin to teach the other things that they feel is important for that age child to learn. The girls haven't had any problem, my son on the other hand is DIFFERENT! He is 5 in kindergarten, and went to Pre K last year he is always in trouble! This year he has been put on meds for ADHD, not sure if that is going to help or not! But my point is that in his Kindergarten class the school has taken away the naps that our school has always had in Kindergarten! At 5 I think that a nap is still important! The other thing is that from 11:25 until 3:31 the kids are stuck in the class room for learning time. Before 11:25 the kids have recess, PE, and lunch...Is 4 hours straight in a class room for a 5 year old crazy or what! The teacher has said that most discipline problems are happening during that time...... Should that not be a clue to the school that maybe they are asking for too much!!

I did not put my children in every activity that was available mainly because the co$t, we didn't have the money. My children are basically addicted to technology and guess who's to blame ...ME! I bought some alternative (ha) games and hope we can spend some family time together(horseshoes, ring toss and tether ball. I'm going to try and strike a balance and really that's what we all need to aim for. Ten hours of sleep can make a world of difference in a childs behavior at least it makes a difference in my son.

As a parent of one boy and three girls and having them so many years apart. I do see a difference in my two younger children. I think that we live in a much more stressful world today and our children pick up on the stress we have as well as their own day to day problems. I try to make sure that all my kids know that they are loved and most importantly I think they have to have structure and security. As a matter of fact I think the lack of security as well as the fear of the unknown in this crazy, scary world we live in is most of the cancer that is destrying us as a society, that and the decline of the morals that most of our elders were raised with.

This is the first year I enrolled my children in a catholic school, we live in California and well there is not a whole lot of options out there for schools. My children are already overwhelmed with two hours of homework a night and expected to catch up with the school sytstem, I question my choice not for religous purposes but for how very difficult it is for them already. They do not have a second for anything else during the week. My older son is trying to fit in and wanted to join footbal that practices everynight until 5:00, we tried he was so overwhelmed we had to stop. He feels like an outcast and it is very hard for him to make any friends, I explained it will take time however he feel depressed, he is in sixth grade, tough times but I embrace him and am there for him every step of the way. I do not think it is enough for him I cannot fix the problem, he has to just get through it. What happened to free time after school, freedom period, when did we start shoving such a heavy workload on kids. I went private because I thought my kids were going to have a safe and smaller classrom education, however it is our jobs as parents to balance school and down time and I am having a difficult time doing that.

I think our society tends to overschedule our kids. They need downtime to be kids and have nothing expected of them. Lord knows we will gain plenty of responsibility as adults. I believe scheduling multiple activities at once overstimulates and stresses our kids. In our household, we purposely keep Sundays open to be a "free" day to do whatever we want; even if that means doing nothing but sitting around the house and just hanging out for the day. I am a mother of two boys.

What I wouldn't give sometimes to be a child again is what I sometimes say to my children. Or do I, espeicailly when they have to know so much at an early age and don't get time to just "be a kid". There is a lot of pressure through education, society for our kids to know so much. I have 5 children. THe oldest two(12-girl and 16-boy) are step children. Both have learning disabilities. More my 16 year old stepson. However, he appears to have symptoms of Asperger's. He is not able to socially engage with people, especially peers. I have a soon to be one year old son. Should I be worried. I don't know. But times are definitely different for kids now than they were for us. Whenever my kids come home with homework, I struggle to even assist them because they have learned completely different ways to even add two numbers. I am sometimes confused and don't want to use a diferent method than they have benn taught in order to not confuse them. Well, what do we do. I guess that I should buy my 10 year old daughter a three piece suit and a briefcase and prepare her for the real world.

I am a mother of 4 children. My youngest son had a speech delay which we recognized and sought treatment through our school system here in NY. However, because my son's birthday is in late November and his delay we decide to hold him back from Kindergarten. When we told the school that is what we were doing, we were told that there is currently legislation circulating among NY state school administrators to not allow parents the right of holding their children back. I guess I am looking for an explanation as to why a school system/state agency feels that they know what is best for a child's long term development better than a child's parent?

I think it is a lot more than just the schools. We overstimulate our boys by video games or television, instead of getting outside and spending time with them. We have single parents were so many boys are losing the father figure to lead by example. My son lost his father to a car accident and he went to therapy and it has helped a lot. They have also wanted to drug my son for ADHD, but instead I had him run around the block or do the treadmill in the morning before school to calm him. I think is parents who need to step up and quit blaming the schools. The world today is two income families and the family structure has changed so much. We feed them McD's or other processed foods because we are in a hurry. My son ahas outlets so he can focus in school. We have our problems, but I help him with his homework. Talk to him bout his feelings. I take the time to find out what is going on in his head. The schools are underfunded and are not babysitters. My son knew if he acted up in class there would be consequences when he came home. I would tell the teacher in front of my son that if he was disrespectful or acted up to let me know and he would be punished. Most of the time that was all it took. It takes a village to raise a child and boys are being left behind in many areas, but the times of Mayberry are definitely over. This is the technological age and schools are a lot harder than when I was a child, but I also couldn't spend hours creating scenerios on a video game. Kids are a lot smarter and instead of boys working with their dads like the good ole days, boys have no responsibility or don't have that outlet of working on a farm or playing kick the can, or riding their bike, or getting out and enjoying the outdoors as much as we did. It is up to the parents to step up and not want to drug their boys because it is easier to deal with. I am not opposed to drug, because I knew there are boys out there that really do need it. Just use that as a last resort.

There is just too much pressure placed on children in the current generation. Of my three children two were good students, not the same two were very athletic. You go with what your kids are good at. By the way my non studius student is doing just fine. But all my kids live in a world where there are kids in summer school taking extra math or studying for the SAT. Kids they know are visiting Stanford, Harvard and Vanderbilt. As a parent, you seek to find your children's strengths and you teach them to love who they are 'warts and all'.

Ms. Tyre I believe is on to something here. As an advocate for Single Parents I have witnessed this parental concern regarding our sons. We as Parents & Educators must make changes for our sons sake's. We must not turn to medications as the only way to deal with this problem. I believe medication and therapy is good in its place. We need to make fundamental changes in educating and parenting ours boys to encourage their developement into well adjusted productive members of an adult society. My husband is a teacher for 7th grade kids as well as a football and baseball coach. He can tell you for a fact we need to make changes to allow our boys to development physically and emotionally. As more and more confused boys grow into angry young men and even angrier adult men this is one report we can must certainly not ignore.

I think we should participate at schools.Many allow their children to do whatever they want at home then they send them to school where there is more structure although not enough on the playground where most of the negative occurances happen and then carry over into classrooms.Boys and girls are human beings.All should be treated with emathy,diplomacy and kindness. The word macho is such a prehistoric word.It masks insecurity so why feed it to our youth!

I will not get on my own soapbox here, but will recommend one book in particular for anyone who is genuinely concerned about this epidemic. In his book, Last Child In The Woods-Saving Our Children From Nature-Deficit Disorder, Richard Louv states that "the real disorder...is in the imposed, artificial environment...To take nature and natural play away from children may be tantamount to withholding oxygen."

What ever happened to the days of free time to play and interact with our little friends. There is something missing in our lives today. One camp says structure a childs time and tell them what to do throughout their day. Another camp says parents have failed due to no involvement with their children.

Both are correct but both are wrong as well. There is little balance. There is no school for parenting except the school of experience by on the job training. Parents are being whipped around by all the different professionals. Its almost like going to a proctologist for brain surgery. No on has all the answers and well intending parnets listen to well intending professionals.

We were never designed as humans to be driven by computers to do three time more work than a human can do with out a computer. Society originally was based in a life style of hard work where families worked together on farms to grow their food and herd their goats, cows, pigs etc...

Today we are all driven to do as much as possible to increase productivity to maintain our position in the internatiinally competitive world of business. Kids are being driven to excell in education so this can happen. My question is: should you child be the chess piece being used for our country to be competitive? Should your child have this responsibility foisted upon them.

Kids should be allowed to be just one thing. Kids. They should be allowed to PLAY while they can and in that play learn to be socially interactive in fun and healthy ways.

Lets not drive our kids crazy by listening to the systematic indoctrination of our kids into a crazy world of competition.Remember who is driving you kids crazy. Its a government, our government, trying to do with our kids what they can't do with all their deal making.

And on that point, the real change being made in this election is that an average everyday citizen who attended a state college has finally been recognized as a real possibility to govern this country rather than some Ivy league educated silver spoon fed fool who has no business being a leader.

I love our country. My son and I have served with pride and my son has come back from battle with a 70% disability. We want America safe but not at the expense of our children. Let boys and girls play and be children.

Every young man sees mend bein degraded in advertisements. We are made to look like idiots while the gals are made to look like wise knowing and pittying souls sorry for their poor dumb husbands.

You want to talk about what is happening to boys? Consider that not only do they learn violence from TV and video games they also learn that they are lessor beings than lofty ladies who are now the fastest growing segment of TV type heros being MARKETED .

Just a humble opinion by a 54 year old guy who has been around long enough to recognize the facts.

wmc

I think too many parents are overscheduling their children. They are kids and we need to let them have downtime and time to just be kids - no expectations. We work hard in our household to not overschedule and keep Sundays open as a day to do whatever we feel like doing, even if it's nothing.