Struggling School-Age Boys

I have been saying pretty much the same thing for years. Kids need time to be a kid. They need to play alone at times and learn to play with others also. Filling every waking moment with computers and games along with every activity in town doesn't allow them to use their imagination. I think one day a month video games, cell phones, computers should be off limits.

DUH! Children need to be children - what is a child to do with all the energy they have without recess, 'free play' (fomerly called playing when we were children). So if we are now expecting so much more from our children from an educational standpoint why are we trying to cram it into the same number of hours and days that we had 20-30 years ago when we still had time for recess in our days? One answer - teachers. They have a powerful union that represents their interests, not the interests of the children. If I die with a regret it will be that my daughters went to government schools where the unions ruled and common sense was non-existent.

blackdeath needs to be in prison its is people like her thatthat are ruining our country GO to HELL

I too have a son who struggles in school. He has had a difficult time reading and writing and comprehending. A teacher of his suggested vision therapy. We reasearched it and found a Doctor and went through 36 sessions. Best money I ever spent. He is now an A-B student and is much more focused. Please consider an evaluation before you consider medication.

As a public school teacher, nasha.mercer, believe me when I say that we do indeed see childhood being eroded at an earlier and earlier age, for both boys AND girls. However, this is not because the school systems are not "allowing them to be kids", but rather because of the ridiculous pressures and, quite frankly, the unrealistic and unattainable goals set forth in No Child Left Behind facing by every school system in the nation. Thank (blame?) your government.








As a public school teacher, trust me, nasha.mercer it's not the school systems that are preventing kids from having fun.

I agree with Betsy Ross OUR society has been catering to the female gender for to long. Every tv show has the man as a incompetent bungler that without a woman guiding them they would be lucky to survive. Boys should have equal treatment in schools if women were as just as they say they are instead of some of being driven by a percieved inferiority complex we would all be better off also quit feminizing our boys it is not natural,

part 2.. Now I have to tell you I am fortunate as my kids have a good relationship with me and I pay attention but it has still been extremely hard. While they are both good, students and they are learning good values my job, as a parent is to look beyond that because the social aspect is important as well. Additionally I have seen what it does to their friends and the impact of what their friends go through on them. Then we look at schools. Many kids and few teachers that pay attention so add that to parent???s lack of attention and you have a bigger social problem. I believe if you want to fix this issue, every teacher has to have Psychology classes in order to pick up patterns of behavior and I believe counselors should have degrees. I believe that parents need to give their kids some structure that is sound such as a time for homework a time for play and free and no texting when they are with other people. We as parents should do the same as the kids see us on blackberries and calls in the middle of dinner or activities. We need to get back to the basics of enjoying a TV night or going to a movie with the kids or just a scheduled dinnertime. We give our kids pressure on goals but no structure or guidance on how to obtain it. We do not give guidance on how to act with others and kids are not mentally mature enough to handle social pressures or even other pressures. Kids turn to each other for guidance because parents are just not there or are too tired to pay attention and when they do, the kids turn away because it is not a constant.

Believe this is not just a boy issue. We are in a day and age that both parents work and nanny???s tot the kids to a ton of after school activities. Parents are not as patient as both are working. Our kids have computers, cell phones and video games. At night parents will send there kid to watch TV or other things so they can cook or work or do the many things they need to get done. I am a mother of two teens but I have to say I saw the issues crop up more in middle school forward.. While the pressure on the kids is greater with all the after school activities there is very little homework and in high school, many study halls to do it. . I work but spend a ton of time with my children. I have seen with my now 18-year-old daughter who is in college that the computer and texting took over hers and her friend???s lives for communication. They will be out with their friends and text everyone else. Then they text intimate conversations to other friends and have tons of issues. They check face book on their phones and socializing as a norm is out the window. Additionally parents work, kids are left to their own means after school with limited structure other then all the tons of sports we add on their backs. They have responsibilities but then they have a ton of freedom at the same time and their minds cannot handle all the social issues so they are given Zoloft or other pills to help them get through pressures. I have a son who is shy so he socializes through computer games and face book. He has sports as do his friends and they never get to spend time just hanging out because of all the activities so they all communicate at night through computers. While I have curbed his sports so he has down time his friends are still as pressured. Part 2 to follow

Yes I agree with the comments in this article, but I would even go further. It is not just the schools that have gone wrong, that just continues the blame game. The core definition of what it means to be a family is gone. Everyone knows how foolishly high the divorce rate in this country is, add to this the extremly high two income family and you have a recipe for trouble. With these two things, we raise boys without father figures in the home to teach them sports, to rough house, wrestle, and how to shift gears from learning in school to learning the value of something as simple and physically satisfying as mowing the lawn, or some other manual chore. Instead with our two income families (that we claim we need) we hire out the lawn mowing, we hire out the raising of our kids with day care, nannies, etc. And then we buy an X-box/Playstation/Wii with games made to simulate action and adventure and usually much more violent. I am not discounting the value of a mother either, I am just saying that in my opinion it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it does take a loving mother and father. My advice - do all you can to keep your marriage happy and strong, decide which one of you can earn a better living and make do with only one income, stay involved in your kids lives, and finally let them be kids.

It may sound wrong to alot of people but once a month i take my son out of school for one day & we do whatever he wants to do..(provided mommy has enough $ with today's economy) some days a picnic at the park somedays we stay home & play with remote controls cars. come on people i loved playing as a child & i think having my son gives me a reason to play as a child some days too!! whats wrong with playing with our kids the way we played as kids? cops & robbers, cowboys & indians,..etc. If we play hookie once in a blue moon, why can't they? my son says i make him feel special when it's just me & him on those days. If he can't express himself anywhere else he should be able to express himself to me. Even if i am his mother...he has 5 uncles who love him & talk to him any time he feels weird talking to me! :) Boys need outlets WAY MORE than girls. Parents just need to be more involved in their kids than themselves. Well gotta go to work.. hope ya'll can make somebody listen!! GOOD DAY!!!

IBelieve this is not just a boy issue. We are in a day and age that both parents work and nanny???s tot the kids to a ton of after school activities. Parents are not as patient as both are working. Our kids have computers, cell phones and video games. At night parents will send there kid to watch TV or other things so they can cook or work or do the many things they need to get done. I am a mother of two teens but I have to say I saw the issues crop up more in middle school forward.. While the pressure on the kids is greater with all the after school activities there is very little homework and in high school, many study halls to do it. . I work but spend a ton of time with my children. I have seen with my now 18-year-old daughter who is in college that the computer and texting took over hers and her friend???s lives for communication. They will be out with their friends and text everyone else. Then they text intimate conversations to other friends and have tons of issues. They check face book on their phones and socializing as a norm is out the window. Additionally parents work, kids are left to their own means after school with limited structure other then all the tons of sports we add on their backs. They have responsibilities but then they have a ton of freedom at the same time and their minds cannot handle all the social issues so they are given Zoloft or other pills to help them get through pressures. I have a son who is shy so he socializes through computer games and face book. He has sports as do his friends and they never get to spend time just hanging out because of all the activities so they all communicate at night through computers. While I have curbed his sports so he has down time his friends are still as pressured.....part 2 on next......

Parenting has definitely changed. I see a big lack of discipline in kids of all ages. Little kids are allowed to run around public places and establishments with few controls, older kids are allowed to dominate adult interactions, and young adults are completely uninterested in applying themselves to difficult or challenging situations, even when the long-term benefits are at stake. As a supervisor, it's very frustrating to have so many young people, some of them very smart, who are unwilling to take chances or work hard in order to gain experiences that they'll have for the rest of their lives. They just don't recognize the truth of "no pain, no gain". A lot of times you have to struggle and fail and struggle again before you get better. It seems that kids are pushed to succeed at the cost of being really challenged, rather than being allowed to fail and try again. Let them go outside and deal with the challenges of getting along with neighbor kids, inventing new games, setting up teams for an afternoon of pick-up games, skinning knees, and falling off bicycles. That is what kids should be learning as children.

I can surley see what this study is talking about!!! I am a school teacher and have a straight A student who now in the 6th grade is struggling!!! I also feel like the peer pressure is out of control and is contributing to school issues. What teachers expect from these kids is over whelming. Great study thanks for the article and letting me vent!!!

Well duh! Every child, male or female needs to be a child - not regulated to schedules constantly by parents who either expect too much. It's just common sense.

What has been the mantra for years about how adults are supposed to handle stress and frustrations of daily life for years? EXERCISE! What have we cut out of our children's lives in the name of academic achievement ? Answer: exercise and 'free play' including wrestling on the grass, tag, dodge ball, pick up ball games.

Little boys need to be little boys, they aren't the same as girls, yet another DUH moment. We as a society are trying to neutralize our natural differences in gender and this is where it has gotten us.

I DEFINATELY agree!!!! I am a mother of three children and the school systems these days don't allow them to be kids...and also, it seems as though they don't do much in school. My 1st grader last year had more homework every night than I think I had in 8th-9th grade. It is getting rediculous and out of hand, but what do we do about it??? I DO NOT believe that ADHD is a factor...I think it is ALL because these children are being expected to do way tooooooo much and not be able to be children!!! If only the schools would see this. There is way too much homework and testing!! Think back to when our generation was in school....we did not have homework until 7th-8th grade...NEVER did I EVER have a test until at least 4th grade...It is just getting OUT OF HAND!!!

When my son was in third grade his teacher called me in for a meeting, she proceded to tell me my son was adhd and out of control in her class. I then asked her if he is this bad then why has he not been sent to the princiaples office, she then said well it's not that bad. What? I then procedde to tell her that if she felt he needed to be tested I would be happy to agree to it but would not medicate my son because she can't control her classroom. my son was tested and did not have ADHD he has a comprehensine problem which required him to get some additional reading help. I am sick of everyone seeing a child act like a kid and automatically decide they are ADHD. We need to step up as a society get our kids off medications that now cause life long effects and go back to the old days and take control of our children again.

It might actually be helpful to segregate boys and girls in school from kindergarten through high school. Even though the ???gender gap??? is being used to support middle school segregation; the fact is that boys and girls do learn differently???not just in middle school???but throughout their educational experience. Gender segregation does not have to mean separate schools (as it often did in private schools of the past), but rather just separate classes, where the educational needs of the different genders can be catered to.
I would go even further in changing attitudes toward the sexes in the classroom. A child???s attitude of high or low self-estimation is often created by teachers who instill their own attitudes in their students through their daily actions. I would propose that all teachers with hostile attitudes toward masculine or feminine behaviors be banned from educating our children. Unless we want all future women to be men-hating feminists and all future men to be self-deprecating and sexually unsure, we will stop this trend in its tracks. It is not healthy for a society to allow its youth to be unduly influenced by self-destructive attitudes. Unfortunately, the youth are exposed to these attitudes in schools on a daily basis all over our country.

I fully agree with this article. The fun has been taken away from our children. Our children are expected to be adults by the time they reach kindergarden. Helping my 5th grader with homework was things I learned in high school. Now our high school children are starting college in the 9th grade. When they graduate they will have a degree. Where do they find time to have fun? Why do you think so many kids are ending up in trouble before they are 16? Both parents have to work now, so they can't put in the time to spend with their children. I sure remember having fun as a child. No worries. Played outside from dawn til dusk. I didn't turn out to bad. I beleive we emphasis to much on education.