Struggling School-Age Boys

You are not going to find a simple answer to this problem. There are many factors to take into consideration. For example, broken homes, children raising children, and the lack of patience for children. I have seen many parents destroying their kids. I believe it is the parents who need more education. Children are capable of a lot, but they are still children who care more about playing and having fun. Try walking in their shoes.

Hi!!!!!!!!!!
I am hispanic, my english is not perfect, but I was in the internet and I found this article really interesting, I have a boy myself and I am trying to help him to grow in the rigth way, I don"t think that physically punishment is rigth nor for girls or boys, they are complete different and there is not rules that apply to both of them, I think we as parents need to really give time for our children, our world is so busy making money that we forget what is really important. Parents rigth now don't know what their kids are doing, they don't care because there is no time, or they are to tired to care, I know that life is difficult, there is always an excuse to make things look rigth when we know there not. Rigth now how many parent know what really is happening in the schools??? when children come home parents are working or busy, so the children watch tv or play games or go out with friends....Do they know who their friends really are??? let's be real!!!! parents are the mayor role in the life of a child and schools are the helpers, but they can't do their job rigth if we don't do it rigth. Probably I sound to rude, but I'm coming from a different culture and the true I feel really sad when I see what is happening, I'm glad that I have excellent parents that care about me, not just physically but mentally too. If we care more things will change and this type of situation about our children won't happen.

I am the mother of three sons ages 14 to 7. Until this year I home schooled all three boys. There have been some upsides to enrolling them and all there (three weeks in are doing very well). But I am APPALLED at the the amount of homework assigned to my 5th and 8th grade sons that requires drawing and coloring. I know had I been assigned this stuff, I would have LOVED it. But my sons have never liked to color or draw. And for goodness sakes they are 11 and 14. These projects constitute 40% of their grades in classes like Science and History.

The mention of raising our boys in a way that respects their natural developement is key. Boys and Girls ARE different and they thrive in different areas and with different learning styles. Girls learn well in a controlled sit down and learn environment while boys respond better in that hands on moving and experiencing mode. Yes, i agree that girls are suffering at the loss of recess as well but I see the need for restructuring our education system for the sake of our boys because the statistics show that what we have now is not working.

Boys are no longer physically punished for their misdeeds. When I was growing up, I was paddled often for misbehavior. My behavior improved slowly but surely. Girls were rarely paddled because they rarely misbehaved. Modern boys are ineffectively sent to the principal's office to sit for hours instead of being corrected on the spot. Boys require a heavy hand and physical pain provides a straight shot to the brain and memory. To think that boys do not require corporal punishment to keep them on track is to ignore fundamental characteristics of a boy's brain. Paddle our boys and resume teaching. There is no other answer. I have three children, and I know what it takes to get their attention and keep it.

Granted, children need to play. It's a part of life and it's definately important for their sanity. But at the same time I don't think that it is a crime to expect things from our children. I believe that by expecting more from them they will rise to the occasion. If you want a real argument about why boys are struggling in school how about taking a look at what is being shown on TV? How about taking a look at the growing technology and how texting and video games are taking us into virtual worlds of 'pretend' relationships and fantasies. If anything, parents are finding that instead of actually spending time with their children and helping them learn they can just shove them in front of a TV screen and let some video do the teaching for them. I believe that despite the great conveniences technology has provided us with it is taking the place of real relationships and it has put itself in the way of the benefits of real classroom learning.

uhh what about daughters? Aren't THEY receiving a major disservice as well??? Girls are expected to compete with boys when they get older (scholarships, sports, university, jobs, etc) and they are hardly being properly prepped either. It isn't only BOYS who may get no recess, or go undiagnosed for psychological, emotional, or medical disorders (not to mention adult females, but that is another story)....

As the mother of a boy diagnosed with ADHD & ODD, I couldn't agree more! Most of the issues my son has is a direct result of being a boy. Nothing more! But the school insisted something else was going on. While we did find that there were some legitamite issue. But the major concerns the school had weren't the issues he was diagnosed with. They wouldn't let him be a boy.. His school has ONE 10 minute break in the morning & then lunch in the afternoon. That's it. No more breaks! Why? These are kids. Their attention spans are 1 minute per year of life. Which means HIS attention span is 8 minutes. That's it! The school askes WAY too much of them & we as parents need to take back the control!

I would dare to argue that we may want to look at how parenting trends have changed in recent years. With the push for equal rights for separated parents, there has come an increasing abscence of nurturing and stability. So many kids are living part of every week with one parent and the rest of the week with another parent. They have to split holidays every year, not just once in a while. It is really no wonder that kids are confused. This also results in the kids themselves trying to please their parents by doing what makes each parent happy- not what makes them happy. The push for Father's rights has taken the focus off of the child and put it on dad. I agree that Father's need to be involved, but to what extent. There are many good father's out there, and many may be the "better parent". I just don't like that it has become the assumption in the legal system that dad's rights must be enforced at all costs, and mother's rights are often not taken seriously, or ignored all together. All of this is having a negative effect on the relationship between the mother and the child, which is also of core importance in a child's life.

Yes, boys (& girls) are in trouble. They NEED to play, go to <http://speakingoffaith.publicradio.org/programs/play/> for the interview of Dr. Brown about Character & Spirit. They NEED to be outdoors, get a copy of "LAST CHILD IN THE WOODS: Saving Our Children from Nature-Deficit Disorder" by Richard Louv. Boys (& men) will benefit from mentoring, learn about the award winning documentary: "Journeymen" at www.mirrormanfilms.org

Yes, boys (& girls) are in trouble. They NEED to play see <http://speakingoffaith.publicradio.org/programs/play/> for the interview of Dr. Brown about Character & Spirit. They NEED to be outdoors, get a copy of "LAST CHILD IN THE WOODS: Saving Our Children from Nature-Deficit Disorder".  by Richard Louv. Boys (& men) will benefit from mentoring, learn about the award winning documentary: "Journeymen" at www.mirrormanfilms.org

WOW... playing cops and robbers, cowboys and indians, and tag are all pretty much a natural thing for boys until some adult comes along and says playing guns is a bad thing for them. Recess is necessary, tag is necessary and FUN is necessary along with interaction and involvment from parents with their sons. Medication is not always the cure for ADHD sometimes probably most of the time it is just good old fashioned spending TIME with kids and letting them be kids. And education is more than just teaching for the test. One day these boys are going to grow up and they will be the ones who will be police officers and soldiers but if society frowns on playing guns and the natural agressive/competitiveness of boys then when they do grow up they will still be boys in mens bodies and totally unprepared for anything that is trully dangerous such as a firefighter charging into a buring building to save someone or a police officer in the line of fire or a soldier on the field of battle being brave enough to fight.

I taught high school girls biology for 2 years in LA...Many girls were put on meds...I fought with the counselor many tiimes against advising parents to seek out meds for the girls "ADHD". These girls were in rich and in homes with high expectations and what I would consider poor parenting. Most of them really just needed strong discipline and guidance. They were forced to over achieve and compete. There was no time for fun. Mix all that with a POOR diet, filled with processed junk foods and no wonder we have this issues. I would see girls eating chips and candy for lunch all year long, chased down with a coke.

I am sure it's the same with boys. There have been canadian nutritional studies (ignored here by AMA and JAMA) that many behavioral issues are vastly improved with the removal of processed foods (too many processed sugars and carbohydrates). The children were lacking in basic building blocks that control hormones, emotions, development, etc. They were not getting healthy fats, or proteins their bodies need.

I think the current nutritonal state of kids prevents them from dealing with these others pressures effectively. I would say nutrition is one of the key factors that should be addressed. Praying, taking more tests and punishing teachers is not going to change anything...

I was a girl who spent a lot of time with my guy friends growing up. Through adolescence I saw, even in my most ambitious and "with-it" male friends, some kind of deep internal struggle that I just didn't see with myself or other girls. So many of them had haunting thoughts of suicide in the back (or front) of their minds, they struggled to find themselves, to fit in, to live up to their expectations...and through it all they were (as boys) not encouraged to show emotion???sign of weakness. Whenever I would have deep talks with my friends I saw that on the inside of that seemingly happy exterior they put on...they were confused, sad and emotional...just like adolescent girls, only we expressed it. It's important to be there for boys as they grow up, to listen and sympathize and really try to understand what they are feeling. They need support and don't often find it as easily as girls do.

I am amazed. Having such a power in intelligenceand resources, some psychologist, educators, and simple people alike have learned to blame ADHD or some thing or some one else for our irresponsibility and love for individualism. I tend to agree with you. Our children in "Struggling School-Age Boys" may be a result of lack of healthy time with the family, positive father modeling, family values, and absense of God in our society. American are powerful in many ways, but at the same time so blinded by our own arrogance at the point of preventing seeing our own self-destructiveness. edgar