Modern Maternity

I am divorced ~8 yrs, have 2 children ages 9 and 11, will be 40 this August. I am very healthy and exercise about 5-6 days/week. Still I do not know if I can even have a child and it seems daunting to even think about it. I am basically a single-parent - he just writes the check. Yet I've met someone who wants his own. How do I proceed? Say 'no' from the outset - or take a chance? Such a hard decision because most guys do want their own.

You just can't plan when you are going to meet the right person to marry. Time flies! I was 27 when I met my husband, and was 29 when we got married. Due to a medicial issue with my husband, we had to wait a few years before trying to start a family. Before I knew it, I was 35 when we finally started trying. People look at me like I'm crazy when I mention my amnio and genetic testing, but I guess it's because I look younger than my age. Anyway, I've been a health nut my whole life and had no problem getting pregnant. I can't help but think that maintaining a healthy weight, exercising, eating right, and never smoking or taking drugs can certainly help in conceiving later in life. I did not "put off" getting married for the sake of some high-powered career, but sometimes life just doesn't go the way you planned, right?

I had my first at age 35, and my second at age 42, both the old fashioned way. However in both cases I had gestational diabetes...probably age related, because I was always normal weight. It was a total shock the first time. But this has been a blessing in disguise because from the experience, I'm now eating and exercising much more intelligently, and stand an excellent chance to live a long life. If I didn't have the experience, I might have continued eating lots of carbs and being semi-sedentary for another decade until permanent type 2 diabetes symptoms appeared. But the point is, I think a lot of females are never given enough education about how their bodies work...beginning in middle school with where babies come from, and how to plan them, plus good nutrition and portion size, then later in life, what realistically happens to your system, and how to make intelligent risk-benefit life choices? As for being an older Mom, it's never been an issue except with having the age-related preg complications. Yes, all my children's peer's parents look pretty youngish (young enough to be my own bio children) but we all get along great. I like to listen to their point of view, and in turn I enjoy playing the role of the sage old (mostly quiet) crone of the parent group.

I became a first time mom one month shy of my 42nd birthday - also my first preganacy. I had colon surgery approx 3 yr prior (not cancer, but a life or death situtation) and the surgeon told me that he saw signs of endometriosis. We got pregnant the old fashion way and can't think of our lives without our son. He is a happy, heaalthy little guy who fills our life with so much joy and runs us ragged but we love every minute of it Science has helped many older couples have children who despriately want them, but for some, as in our case, there seems to be a higher power that must have a sense of humor and compassion when giving us "older" moms a child.

Lots of older family members were born when their moms were over 40. They are healthy and reached old age.
Maybe many women who have problems at a later age would have had problems also earlier on. In some cases maybe some people age different and have more problems. Then others are healthy and able to conceive, give birth and be an active parent (going to the gym and also like to catch a ball)

Doesn't male sperm reduce potency after 40? Probably or maybe not. But nobody talks about it. Or it doesn't matter...

I work with handicapped people. Most of them were born to parents in their 20's. And they were born 25, 30 or more years ago, when science didn't sort out just yet who should stay and who should go!!!!!

Lifestyle must have an inpact. Thats for sure. Maybe is something in the food?. Although it seems that women with much less in third world countries become pregant a lot with mostly healthy babies (being adopted by fertile and infertile in the west)

A lot of this so called "objective information" concerning pregnancy after 35 or 40 is more political "based on statistics" than the real life individual women are living today in this society.

When you smoke you know it is a hazard to your health. When your body can get pregnant when it can, either at 35, 40, 45..., it is not a hazard. It is life, not a statistic. Life is always a risk.

Hi. I am 47 with a ten year old and an 18 month old. My ex husband and I suffered through three years of male factor infertility and went though three cycles of ICSI to have our son. I had a miscarriage, a failed attempt, then a premature birth 10 weeks early. Luckily our son is fine now. Unfortunately my ex and I divorced. My current partner is 51 and the father of my 18 month old. We were amazed and thrilled to have a pregnancy the traditional way. Unfortunately my high blood pressure was much worse and I delivered 15 weeks early. Our baby nearly died, and he is a miracle. The whole thing is a miracle, conceiving at 45 and delivering days before my 46th birthday. After a 6 month NICU stay, our baby went home on oxygen and 12 medications. He is now doing beautifully. The clincher is I am an OB/GYN and am painfully aware of the risks, but my time was running out and there was my chance. During my pregnancy I delivered a 48 year old woman and thought if she could do it so could I. Well I barely squeaked by and this is the end of the line for me. But I am grateful I was never talked out of it or judged by my doctors. They were wonderful and put up with a lot - it is true that doctors make the worst patients.

I am a 21 year old that got pregnant easily. I wish that all women who want to have children at any age should be allowed to try.

The worst thing that I can imagine is being alone and pregnant and being ridiculed because of your age. Many older women that I am close friends to have had children alone. They were the subjects of the most unsually cruel comments. What I don't understand is why women who are older, alone or not are catching as much if not more flack than young 18-, 19-, 20-somethings who got pregnant and left the father.

I only wish that is were cheaper for women to try and concieve than it is.

I got pregnant naturally, on the first try, at age 41. Don't believe all the gloom and doom statistics.

My mother was 42 when she gave birth to me in 1961, my father was 49. My oldest sibling was 20 with two more inbetween us. Yes, I was unplanned, but never felt unwanted. Years later my mother said she was worried through her entire pregnancy that I wouldn't be born healthy. Back then they didn't have the screening and know how to diagnose issue in the womb. Thankfully I was born healthy. As a child my parents were
always the age of my friends grandparents. I always wanted the cool looking hip mom. I remember constantly being worried that something would happen to my parents because I deemed them so old. Little did I know they would both live to be almost 90. Was it hard to watch my parents age when I was still relatively young? Yes. Did I get mad when I'd go out with mom and people would call her my grandmother? Yes. But you know what? I wouldn't trade having older parents for anything in the world. When I look at young mother's today, I'm thankful that I had an older mother who was unflappable because there wasn't anything she hadn't seen that could shock her. There wasn't anything I couldn't tell her, because she didn't judge, only offered advice and an ear and a hug. So for any woman out there who says to herself but I'll be 65 when they start college. Yes, you will be. And when you're sitting at graduation some smart alecky graduate will tell your son and daughter how nice it was your grandmother could make it to graduation. And you know what? You'll just sit there and be proud and pleased you made it to graduation. Next stop grandchildren. Being an older parent, gives you purpose and something to live for. After all, Mom and Dad were almost 90. Not bad considering they had four chidlren in three different decades, 40's, 50's & 60's.

I hate the tone of articles like this that imply most women who waited did so for career or chose to marry later in life! The reality is that most college educated men are fairly anti-commitment until their 30's, and then want to enjoy married life for a while before having kids. Not that I blame them for their preferences, but this is today's cultural reality which is delaying the onset of when many women can try to get pregnant. This article makes it sound like its completely the women's choice to delay maternity when many women I know or knew would have loved to start earlier. It takes two.

I got pregnant and gave birth at 40. Super easy preganacy and delivery. Maybe I am lucky, but it was a piece of cake and I'd love to do it again.

I got pregnant at 41 on literally the first try. A friend of mine had her first baby unassisted at 49. I am tired of the view that women should shrivel up and die once 40. Who knows how many woman post-40 could have babies if they actually tried? We're people not statistics.

I am now 52 with a daughter who just turned 11 and my son who just turned 8....I did it all in my 40's with no fertility. I am the hottest 52 year old mom to hit the elementary school system. The ONLY thing I have trouble adjusting to is the 30 something year old whiny mothers.

Its a risk and rewards of becoming a mother after 40 years old.

=======
cadeburton
<a href="http://www.legalx.net">California DUI</a>