My Mother’s Case of ‘Pleasant Dementia’

Enjoyed your article! Thank you! I say to close friends that I've had 3 moms (in one body). The first one was social, a great friend, lousy mother (my perspective), and often nervous. The second one (predementia) was hostile and very nervous and the third one (obvious dementia) is sweet, appreciative and occasionally nervous. I wonder how much of the pre-dementia phase was actually beginning dementia. I also wonder how much of the sweet dementia is actually a medicated state e.g. effexor. Finally, II wonder whether we should have been giving her Effexor with the pre-dementia phase. I tthink we took the hostility too long, I suppose because we thought she was a full functioning adult. I've witnessed another family membr die of Alzheimers. I'm convinced the decline begins much earlier than identified.

In the late 70;s I spent a very pleasant , peaceful afternoon on a porch swing in Kentucky, with a woman in her late 90's.Every five or ten minutes, she would say, with a gentle smile, "It sure is a beautiful day, isn't it?" At first I tried to extend the conversation, but quickly realized that she wasn't going to respond to anything. So I'd reply, "Yes, ma'am, it sure is." And on we would go rocking slowly, gently, quietly. Five or ten minutes later she'd say, "It sure is a beautiful day, isn't it?" "Yes, ma'am," I'd reply. "It sure is." The funny thing is, I don't think she was so far out there. She just had nothing left to say, to teach. I learned a lot from her that day.

Sara,
I have met your mom at the Hawaii care facility. She is truly a woman of grace and love. She is next door to another woman who has lived her life to the fullest. to both of these woman, I tip my hat. Demntia is hard for the daughters. You lose your mom a little at a time. Hang in there and know that you are providing a priceless gift to her of your time and care.

Fantastic article. Very similar to the experience I am having with my mother. She is happier and more pleasant now than she has ever been and she is in her 11th year of dementia. I recently had an article published about her in a Chicken Soup for the Soul book. The article is called The Beauty of Alzheimer's.
Sara, thank you so much for this great article.
Best regards,
Betsy S. Franz

THANK YOU for your article. No one ever had an answer wheen I mentioned my husband's unexpectedly extremely pleasant demeanor after being diagnosed as having Alzheimer's disease. I had been told a few years before his diagnosis that he had probably suffered a slight stroke in his frontal lobeus due to severe lowereing of blood pressure from internal bleeding--a little like a bobotomy--the neurologist said. This possiblity was negated by an examing physician at the NYU Aging and Dementia Center after viewing films of his brain.
Dr. Sack's explanation, however, seems to corroborate what I was initally told. Thank you again for shining a new light on this matter as not knowing has always bothere me. PPo24@aol.com

Thank you for this article. It confirms what I have thought all along about my mother's dementia. I was criticized (only child) when I had to place my mother in a nursing home. Before she was there, she was violently angry and after I placed her, she was amazingly "pleasant". I actually enjoyed her company. She seemed content and I was so grateful to God for that.

If the frontal lobes control emotion, and patients are going to lose their memory anyway, wouldn't it be more humane to incapacitate that area of the brain? I don't know if "lobotomize" is the correct term, but isn't there some procedure that could take away anger, bitterness, and aggresive behavior?

In light of this phenomenon, wouldn't it be better to lobotomize those patients who show aggression and violence? If the frontal lobes control emotion, and the person is going to lose their memory anyway, wouldn't it be the compassionate thing to do?

A very interesting subject; it's unfortunate that me and my siblings believe we are suffering the same situation with our mom who is now eighty and can't remember if she loves her own children from time to time and is afraid of everything, even to go outside; what do we look forward to?

I DON'T BELIEVE ANYONE REALIZES HOW DEBILITATING IT IS TO SEE A LOVED ONE SLIP OUT OF THE
LIMELIGHT OF THEIR LIFE INTO A SIDE THAT FEW OFTEN ARE ABLE TO BEAR. I'M SO GLAD THAT THEIR
ARE PEOPLE ABLE TO TALK ABOUT IT. THANKS.

Thanks a lot, Sara. Something very positive and uplifting.

Thanks Sara, Very thought provoking. I am sevevtyfour and at times I think I see my ship comming in. I hope the weather will be .....pleasant.