Enjoyed your article! Thank you! I say to close friends that I've had 3 moms (in one body). The first one was social, a great friend, lousy mother (my perspective), and often nervous. The second one (predementia) was hostile and very nervous and the third one (obvious dementia) is sweet, appreciative and occasionally nervous. I wonder how much of the pre-dementia phase was actually beginning dementia. I also wonder how much of the sweet dementia is actually a medicated state e.g. effexor. Finally, II wonder whether we should have been giving her Effexor with the pre-dementia phase. I tthink we took the hostility too long, I suppose because we thought she was a full functioning adult. I've witnessed another family membr die of Alzheimers. I'm convinced the decline begins much earlier than identified.
My Mother’s Case of ‘Pleasant Dementia’
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"Well, they should," Sacks replied. "I think this whole area is unexplored. And these are very deep waters."
I don't wish to romanticize the state or suggest that anyone aspire to it, because the pleasantly demented aren't functional. My mother doesn't remember where her clothes are or what day it is. Yet her equanimity and cheer seem preferable to the acute physical suffering I've witnessed in other endgames. Sacks said in our interview: "At 75, I sort of wonder what the future has in store. If I am going to lose it, I would prefer to lose it in an Emersonian way."
That way was conveyed in Emerson's poem "Terminus," which he wrote at 63 when he felt his mind slipping from him:
Lowly faithful, banish fear,
Right onward drive unharmed;
The port, well worth the cruise, is near,
And every wave is charmed.
What a sanguine injunction, I thought, not only for my mother but for those of us who may follow on that ship. May we sail without fear and may the weather be … pleasant.
Davidson is the author of “Leap! What Will We Do With the Rest of Our Lives?” and “Loose Change.” She can be reached at saradavidson.com.
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