Dear Mr. Milroy,
I am a student at high school in the 10th grade. I have an assignment given by my English teacher to find an article that interest me and when found I have to write a letter to the editor or writer of the article. When I was looking for stories to reflect on I really didn???t find anything but when I read yours I was very interested in your life story. Although I don???t have a story related to yours in any way but I???ve always wondered how it would be if I could just do what ever I pleased for once. I could just imagine the crazy things I would do if I knew I wouldn???t have any consequences, my parents yelling at me or nagging me, or even worse to go to a juvenile facility. But in reality all those things would happen, however knowing all of this I still always wanted a taste of it. Now that I read your story I realized that, although I don???t have an adventures life but I should be happy for the things I do have. I have a great family that loves me and great friends that are always their for me. I just can???t imagine how I would feel not having these things, which are the most important thing in life. So I would like to thank you for making me realize what I had is the best thing any person could have. I wish you the best and God bless.
Sincerely
Chris K.
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A Son Finds His Way
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After my discharge four years later, I spent the next 20 years raising a family and living a fairly typical, semi-successful life as a sales rep. The trouble was, all during this time I had self-esteem issues and acted out with bizarre behavior to get the attention I so desired. I bragged about education, wealth and self-confidence that I didn't have. If it weren't for certain people at my workplace who liked and understood me, I surely would have been fired.
As the years went by, I acknowledged and explained away my behavior, because I was convinced it wasn't my fault and didn't recognize I was seeking attention to boost my self-confidence. I blamed everything on my parents' drinking and didn't accept any personal responsibility.
When I was in my late 30s I heard about an organization called Adult Children of Alcoholic Parents. I attended a few meetings and found that the other ACAP members' personalities almost exactly paralleled my own. All of them desired attention, and each one had an overwhelming need to please. It reinforced my belief that my parents were to blame.
It was only after they died a few years later that I began to change my way of thinking. My sister asked me to pick out and have inscribed the marker that would be placed at their grave site. After a considerable amount of thought and soul-searching, I had it inscribed THEY DID THEIR VERY BEST. I finally forgave them and came to the belief that most parents do indeed try their best when raising their children, but many times it doesn't measure up to what is required to raise a confident, capable, well-rounded human being.
The grave marker is in place today and is a constant reminder to me that we all must be responsible for our own behavior, because no matter how many demons we may have faced, it is our responsibility to get on with life.
Milroy lives in Lakeside, Calif.
© 2008
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