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Facts About the Aging Lesbian and Gay Community

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  • Posted By: MichaelJohnG @ 09/20/2008 6:32:55 PM

    Be safe, Be smart, and try to life a long and happy life together and hopefully your family won't take the gold-digging, grim-reapering plot and plan, and will just allow whatever your WILL is together is exactly THAT, and there will be no friction with the surviving partner and the deceased one's family and its many memebers who THEN in fact come out of nowhere! Heck, they even come out of closets, just to try to get something out of you that isn't theirs and was never meant to be for some strong back-boned reasoning or another... e-mail: mjgruity@gmail.com which is me and give me your thoughts on this issue or if you'd like more advice, I'd be happy to help the best I can to my ability and time-wise. "The secret to life is Happiness; whatever it is that makes you this way- strive for it, embrace it, fight for it, and never let it go....." - Me, Michael John

  • Posted By: MichaelJohnG @ 09/20/2008 6:30:46 PM

    Then, when the demise comes to the passing of your partner, that same "mother-in-law" or whomever in the opposite side of the family starts to pry into assets whether they be shared or titled jointly, even bank accounts and annuities as such, etc.... The opposing family seems to only want you to pay for the funeral and take charge of the incurred debt and outstanding loans. They will want to have possession of anything and everything they can by challenging your WILL or any other legal document and produce any evidence they have of the 2 or your arguing or whatever a court will allow. So, long story short; make certain you live in a friendly as possible state and make certain you have a very Tight WILL stating that the two of you are of sane mind and not influenced in any way shape or form and make certain you have as many witnesses as possible of high society and respect in the state or community so choose to reside and plan on spending your last days. There are so many more issues that come into play with this, but for now, this is all I want to comment about at this time. As for the Caddy and House comments; please please listen to what I stated about having both your names on the titles and insurance, same thing with the deed or mortgage or the house, and more importantly get that WILL done ASAP no matter how old or young you are at the time. As far as the WILL is concerned make certain that each one of you is VERY specific on not just the funeral arrangements, but also if you want something SPECIFIC all the way down to a serial number if it's a TV or whatnot.... and to whom specifically it is to be given and you can even say what age it should be given or when, where, how, and whatnot. Maybe you want to give your nephew a certain outfit or piece of jewlery; make certain the brand name, dimensions, etc., etc., are stated and if it's jewely make a reference to some inventory or model number on the bill of sale and or certificate of authenticity, elsewise they're going to want the whole wardrobe in all the closets, and all the jewelry including what the corpse is wearing and the widow's! It happens all the time to us, it's not easy being gay, alive or even DEAD, but do the best you can to protect yourself from walking down the street, to the maintenance of your body, all the way down to the WILL arrangements and what Plot you will be buried in and also that there's still that one empty plot for your surviving half and that a family member or members don't or haven't try and sell the Plot too.

  • Posted By: MichaelJohnG @ 09/20/2008 6:28:01 PM

    Alot of evil games and cons can come into play with that, along with the general anxiety of being a parent or parents. To address the earlier comments / issues about the Cadillac and the Home... Do what my lover and I do; put the house in both names, and all of our cars are in both of our names, while we have auto, and several other insurance policies in both or our names. Also, anyone will tell you that no matter how young your partner and you are; a WILL is VERY important. Both sides of both families, whether the accept you and your partner or not, you MUST state how you want your estate to be handled. It's amazing that how much your quote-unquote mother-in-law loves you so much while you are alive and around you, but who knows what she says to your partner behind your back let alone other people in or out of the family.

  • Posted By: MichaelJohnG @ 09/20/2008 6:24:15 PM

    Just the sheer anxiety and tasking to have a child whether via adoption or artificial insemination by a friend or someone you have paid and signed a Witnessed and Notarized Contract with. Now, let's say you are
    like most of us gays, as couples or singles don't have kids; why oh why do we have to pay the provision of the Tax Bill for SCHOOLING, and School Debts, etc., etd., while the state you live in doesn't recocnize you as a citizen, insurable, and whatnot, but they are more than happy to take your $$$ for a part of life you cannot legally enjoy. As a huam on this planet and in this FREE Country, shouldn't we be able to have kids to? It's as almost as if it's being thrown in your face and making your pay for it, not just financially but emotionally, and or mentally.

  • Posted By: MichaelJohnG @ 09/20/2008 6:11:19 PM

    I'm 38 and my partner of 11 years going forward is 43. We look around the same age when we are out, but some say I look alot younger than 25 or 20 and he younger than 30 or 25. Not that this matters, but what does matter is that when we approach the retirement / Social Insecurity Issue; will there be back up by the US Government? Aterall, we ALL, gay, bi, trans, or straight pay taxes, inwhich they are happy to accept. And when you are a single gay person or even partnered, if your state doesn't allow adoption or artificial insimination agreements and arrangements, then why in the world on our (GLBT) tax bills do we pay for children's schooling? We should NOT have to pay that tax or any School Debts, or any other additional Taxes or levy that is imposed when we don't have any rights to have kids and even if we do have them, our kids are more likely harrased and more likely to be questioned by teachers and other figures of authority in society. (*continued...*)

  • Posted By: drcheryl @ 09/18/2008 4:16:18 PM

    The facts here are so important, and I'm glad to see them brought to light. The good news is there are resources out there for aging gay and lesbians and their caregivers. Check out www.AgingPro.com for access to housing, legal, health, and internet resources specifically for gay and lesbians. You don't have to be alone, or in the closet as you age!

  • Posted By: drcheryl @ 09/18/2008 4:14:44 PM

    These facts are very important for us to consider, I'm glad they are brought to light here. There are resources available to assist aging gay and lesbians and their caregivers. They are all brought together in one place at www.AgingPro.com - with resources for housing, health, legal and internet resources. It's important to have the information and resources we need, before we really need them.

  • Posted By: masscraft @ 09/18/2008 1:59:54 PM

    I live alone and don't have any kids. I was concerned about who would care for me if I got sick or hurt and didn't want to rely on government programs. I found a site at http://www.disabilityinsuranceadvisor.com/ and had an agent call me who took me through the options on long term care insurance. She sent policies from several companies to compare. I went with an affordable policy that ensures I'll be able to get the help I need.

  • Posted By: masscraft @ 09/18/2008 1:58:40 PM

    I live alone and don't have any kids. I was concerned about who would care for me if I got sick or hurt and didn't want to rely on government programs. I found a site at http://www.disabilityinsuranceadvisor.com/ and had an agent call me who took me through the options on long term care insurance. She sent policies from several companies to compare. I went with an affordable policy that ensures I'll be able to get the help I need.

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