How To Keep Him From Cheating

This article isn't about religion, so let's not go there. I am a 35 year old female, single, but in a committed relationship. My significant other and I have discussed this very topic. There are people who value honesty, comittment and loyalty. I am one of them. I have never cheated while in a relationship, nor do I believe I ever will. I've been cheated on and I learned that cheating is a choice, you either do or don't regardless of how happy or satisfied you are in your relationship, life, job, self-esteem, etc...... Women have the potential to cheat just the same as men because we all have the ability to make a choice. We also have ability to discuss with our significant others why we are tempted to stray. What are the thoughts and feelings behind those desires? How can we make changes so those desires are tucked away. It is normal to be attracted to others physically, mentally, spiritually, intellectually, sexually and so on. Whether or not you act on those attractions and why is up to the individual to figure out and resolve. Perhaps it is time to consider if there is something missing in the relationship that can be brought back or maybe it is time to leave the relationship. Either way, it's about choice and if you value yourself and the other person enough to be fair before straying and causing harm to your significant other. concerned............

Correction: whiny.Addtion: I was married with a aman I loved ore than myslef, literally- i worshipped him, and breathed through him. I lavished him with love and attention, sex was never out of question, even throughout both of my pregnancies it was at least once a day( on a non-pregnant occasion always 2ce). Bu I would also speak up if he'd do something inappropriate, like flirt with the bartender( I'd keep my cool until she'd give her number, or put her hand on him, since I believe flitring is healthy and as long as its playful it boosts ago, and helps in monogamous relationship). he always asked me to do things his way, I'd compromise- and he'd ask for more! Offer a hand, bite off an arm sorta man. After all the love and loving guadance I gave him( which he saw as "control: and "bitching" he left me for someone he didn;t have to be a better man with. His argument? You have to love me the way I am, you fell in love with me that way." Newsflash: Noone loves anyone just the way they are. There's always rom for improvenment, and scpace to compromise. When you discover things after moving in together, you got to express your dislikes. And the other party has to modify to a sane extend. And vice versa. Now, i was always compromising, he was alays unhappy. I think its because he couldn;t( didnt) want to work as hard on himself as I did. The woman he left me for( while I was 3 months pregnant with the 2nd child) agrees with every immoral chioce he makes, just so he feels loved and adored. As someone here mentioned, its a proverbial btch type, homewrecker who waits for weak men and offers them " reassurance". While actually the same type woman don't give a damn about the man. When you love someone, you want them to be a better person, better for themselves in the long term. just as you teach a child not to control it, but to assure its prosperity in life. Some men never learned, because hey were spoilt by their own parents, or ex partners. Then women like me do all the wOrk, teaching them how to handle a relationship properly .because i care! as opposed to simply sucking up to him, he isnt perfect, he can't be NOONE IS! a relationship is give and ake. Both have the right to express their dissatisfaction, and both sould consider bending a bit for harmonious existence. Men like my ex don't wn tto compromise, so they cheat and then leave their fmily, covering up with lame BS excuses this article offers.

What about those of us who do appreciate our spouse, and even when the job isn't perfect tell him that it looks wonderful. Thank him for everything that he does and go above and beyond the call of duty to show him that I do love him and that he is a great man. And he still wants to cheat. Is the course dry and am I wasting my time? I need help I am lost and don't know what to do anymore. We have had these issues and I almost feel like a stalker when I randomly check cell phone records and look up the numbers to see who he is calling. Am I wasting my time, I want to trust him, but he is so flirtatious!! I am not ugly by any means, and I work overtime to make sure I keep him happy. I do it all, read the books, have the intellictual conversations, when he is interested in something I google it, so when we talk I have knowledge about the subject. I feel like I am turning my wheels. We have been together 4 years and I feel like it has all been a battle. I am to the point that I don't know what to do anymore. I guess I need advice from a man. HELP!!

I think the reson men cheat just as well as the reason some woman cheat is Because there needs to be some Balance in thier lives. " THEY NEED JESUS" I'm not saying that in the history of man kind that no christian has ever cheated; But I am a married woman, me and my husband are both saved and have a relationship with God and he is the Glue of our relationship. That does not make us exempt from temptation but it does give us Balance, Our Love for god, and fear of his wrath as well as our reverence for him keep us forever stable. And in the Comment seen below by the older gentlmen altough perverted and somewhat untrue some men do cheat out of their wives site, in hopes that because its out of town she'll never find out but what goes on in dark must come out to light. No wrong deed goes unpunished. But If a man or Woman has the reverence, love and fear of the lord it provoke restraint in times of temptation and disloyalty. And that's truth whether anyone believes it or not; even if this doesn't get posted.

The article has certainly revealed how much people are hurtng in thier relationships; the fears,anxeties and deep needs for help in marriages. The heart is like a resorvior which stores hurts, pains, excitements, morals and things learnt over time. What comes out in our speech, actions and even thoughts are replicas of our characters and state of mind. Temptations come to all and our response will be based not on who our spouse is but who we are. there is absolutely no one to blame for any form of cheating but we need to deal with who we have become over the years of hearing things, seeinf things tasting things, touching things, smelling things and going to certain places. Let us begin to train our minds by first renewing what influences our decisions. and what feeds our :hearts".

deepthings

I think many women are misunderstanding this article. This article is not an excuse as to why men are cheating. It's just an explanation, to help women understand why something like this happens/could happen. Many women are so proud as to think that it couldn't happen to them. Well, get over it! Temptation happens to even good men, and even good men can slip up. "Jesus" has nothing to do with it. Even men of "Jesus" make mistakes. Men are responsible for their own behaviors. But just because you don't intend to get into an accident, doens't mean you shouldn't wear a seatbelt in other words, take precautions. This article simply states that in the world of men and women, if women want to increase the odds of it not happening to them, they'll consider the suggestions. For that matter, the article could be titled, "How to keep Women from cheating". Men and women aren't so different when it comes to wanting appreciation. In fact, I think women need more appreciation than men. If I don't tell my wife on a daily basis how much I love her or how pretty she is, she tends to get her feelings hurt. I'm not faulting her for that, that's just how it is! It's part of the package. And I have no problems with it!

Ok so now we have to kiss men's butts and worship them like a god or they will cheat?? This is wrong on so many levels. Of course a man would have written this book. You know what, you can suck up all they want and make them feel "appreciated" and guess what....That's right, he will still cheat!! Women can't win either way. Men are born that way, and will always cheat especially if they can get away with it! The only ones that don't (which are very few) must have been raised with morals or very good self control. 99.9% of men have neither of those things....

This is in response to afrocouscous: your posting was excellent advice; God Bless you, your wife and your marriage we need more true love and responsibility shown in situaions such as these. And more testimony to Greatness of god and the effect he has in a marriage. :)

GET OVER IT! We are`wives, not babysitters. Start taking responsibility for your own actions and quit blaming your partners ( This goes for both genders). Men cheat. Period. And the ones who don't think about it. But it is not their partner's job to "change" and keep them from cheating. The man makes a conscious decision to cheat and blames the partner........this is to justify their actions without taking responsibility for it. We all know the excuses, it's a long list. GROW UP. Take a good look at yourself , the reason is within yourself (low self esteem, poor impulse control, boredom , ego, etc, etc. ) Then FIX it. Stop blaming your partners for your short comings, your partner can't fix them, you can. Nobody can be held responsible for someone elses actions. After all......we have FREE WILL.