How To Keep Him From Cheating

I truly believe in the appreciation rule. Men thrive when they succeed in providing and creating security of all levels around them. If the wife or significant other doesn't see or acknowledge these accomplishments then the man feels like why bother! I also agree that cheating for men isn't just about sex. Usually the sex with the wife or other was good, is good and will be good......when she invites it and shows that she still wants to just as much as he does. Initiation and emotional connection and stress relief can go a long way when an attempt is made..........once a week..:-)))))

I think this article is definetyl hitting the mark. I basically thinkt that it works both ways. You BOTH should always take an active part in keeping the relationship faithful. The old adage "couples that play together........." is totally right on. Also, being considerate and APPRECIATIVE on both sides is important. No Woman is going to appreciate her husband if she does not feel appreicated. So, this article just approaches how the woman keeps the man happy but it works both ways. Once the woman feels underappreciated she is NOT going to try and make him feel appreciated; the vicious cycle thing you know. But, if you are confident enough in yourself and PAY ATTENTION to your relationship via COMMUNICATION than I think you've got it made. Also, the relationship needs to be genuine; too many people rush into marriage when they're feeling insecure about themselves and this NEVER works. So, while your article does give clues to fixing ONE part of the equation people should know it's just that....one part of the equation. It is not a "fixall" explanation for the whole.

I WANTED TO COMMENT ON "25 YEARLOST. HE HAS BEEN YOUR HUSBAND FOR 25 YEARS. THEIR ARE SO MANY WAYS YOU CAN LOOK AT THIS. FIRST OF ALL, HE KNOWS YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THERE THROUGH GOOD AND BAD. THE THING IS HE TAKES YOU FORGRANTED. WHEN YOU ARE CHEATED ON IT MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE THEY HAVE A POWER OVER YOU, LIKE THEY ARE BETTER LOOKING THEN YOU. AND EVERY WOMAN IS BETTER LOOKING THEN YOU. IT TAKES YOUR SELF ESTEEM FROM YOU. THE TRUTH IS HE IS NOT AND THE WOMEN ARE NOT BETTER THEN YOU. I KNOW IT SEEMS LIKE IF YOU ARENT TOGETHER THE WORLD IS OVER, AND I BET IT WILL HURT LIKE HELL. BUT YOU NEED TO SHOW HIM A DIFFERENT SIDE OF YOU. YOU NEED TO SHOW HIM THST YOU ARE THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO HIM AND HE IS A FOOL FOR EVEN SECOND GUESSING YOUR RELATIONSHIP. YOU NEED TO PICK YOURSELF UP AND SEPARATE FOR AWHILE. NOT BY HIS DECISION BUT FROM YOUR DECISION. THAT WILL SHOCK HIM . EVEN AT 53 YOU HAVE TO PLAY THESE GAMES WITH MEN. IN MY OPINION THIS DEMINSTRATION OF STRENGH, WILL MAKE HIM THINK HOW MUCH HE IS LOOSING. IT MAY NOT BE RIGHT AWAY. BUT HE WILL FIGURE IT OUT. YOU CANT BE SO EASY TO EXCEPT HIM. YOU NEED TO LET HIM KNOW HOW MUCH HE HURT YOU. THATS THE ONLY WAY YOU BOTH CAN GET PAST THIS. FIND COMMEN INTERESTS THAT YOU MAY GROW TOGETHER. ALL MARRAGES HAVE BAD TIMES, YOU CANT SACRIFICE 25 YEARS OF GOOD TIMES FOR 2 YEARS OF BAD. IF THAT DOESNT WORK GET A LAWYER TO FIGURE OUT THE RETIREMENT ISSUE.

I see it as very simple. As I guy, I'm looking for respect from my spouse. I want her to appreciate me for who I am and for what I offer whether it comes out right or not. When I make a gesture of good-will and love, I mean it even if the end result fails (burnt breakfast in bed for example). As a wife, she needs to see the heart of her husband. No one is perfect - see the intentions. That goes for words said too. See the intention, the heart of it. If a man says you look ok when you're worried about how you look - he means you look FANTASTIC - don't get hung up on the word OK. Know your husband's way of speaking.

This the is the often forgotten part of the equation - men need to LOVE their wives like they would die for them. This mean emotionally too sometimes. Die to the self and give up the me me me. You're one when you're married and when she hurts, you hurt, when she's happy, you're happy.

Most importantly, be the better person FIRST! Put the pride aside. If you want to have a "10" marriage and your partner is acting like a "2"... be an "8" - it may take time but they will have to notice at some point that it's them that causing the problem. This doesn't mean, be a doormat - it means hold the person accountable but still give the love or respect that should be given. Remember, you are one and if one is sick then the other must take up the slack.

The best advice - read what the Bible has to say about love & respect and the different roles and needs of men and women - believe it or not, God knows us better than we know ourselves and His advice is the best advice. My wife and I are working at living life His way, and I can tell you - His way works. My wife is not a doormat and I am not an overbearing neanderthal. Those that say that is the message of the Bible do NOT understand what it says. Don't be fooled by those who are ignorant. I live it and it's the ultimate in honoring EACH OTHER for who the other is. When there's an argument, it's either my pride or her's that gets in the way.

OK I HAVE SAID ENOUGH, I MEAN THIS REALLY IS GOING NOWEHERE.
SOME OF THESE PEOPLE HAVE JUST RESOLVED TO CONTINUE THEIR EXCUSES AND DISHONESTY.
SO HEY...PLAY BALL...I HOPE YOU
"WIN BIG"

This article is right on the money. I've read most of the comments that have been made, and I am shocked to find that there are so many women who are willing to be doormats for cheating spouses. Maybe we need to start teaching self-esteem classes in high school because that is one quality many of these people seem to be lacking. Respect youself enough to expect the best from yourself and your partner. Be honest. Communicate. Don't jump into marriage. Give 110% and expect 110% in return. Have date nights even after you have kids. The best gift you can give your children is a healthy, loving relationship between their parents. Have your own opinions and interests that differ from your husband's and express them. Don't settle for less than you deserve. Marry the man that calls you beautiful instead of hot. Never become so dependent on a man that you can't imagine your life without him. If you think there's a problem, there IS a problem - whether he's cheating yet or not. Give of yourself and expect a lot in return. Use common sense, ladies! If you don't do these things, don't be surprised when he cheats. It's not rocket science!

so, heres my take on things. you love your spouse. you married them, right? settling into comfort and a lower intensity should come natural. maybe an intense momet now and again, but still with the comfort of knowing each loves the other one. insecurity DOES take its toll. so, what are you left with? rationally, its should be a give and take, 50/50 sort of deal where you show your husband that you appreciate them, even if its for simply making the money to pay the morgage, and he shows he appreciates you, even if its just a 'thanks for cooking tonight' comment. this isnt the way of things though. i know that i can pour out comments of "oh, darling, that was a very innovative idea" and "thank you for taking the time to call me today on your lunch break" and so on...rewarding him for even the slightest show of thought process that isnt self involved. is this sort of attention returned? what do you think? so, i start with small little reminders: what do you think of your favorite meal that i cooked you, dear? response: "its okay". move on to a little sterner hint: "it makes me feel really loved when you notice what i do for you" response: "youve got a nice ass" start removing the nice things i do, no more lunches made to take to work, no more sex if im not in the mood, dinstancing because I am the one that goes unappreciated. he notices then, let me tell you. not in a good way, either. jealousy insues when i find something rewarding, that gives me satisfaction. jealous of reading, you say? yes. i would almost welcome an affair so he would leave me alone with my activities that HAVE been fulfilling to me. dont get me wrong, i have tried to be the bigger person and restart the nice communication, but to no avail. i become the nag. so, i give up, and live in an empty shell of a marriage, where neither of us are happy. so, you can promote a womans responsiblity all you want. like i said, i believe it is half her burden, but if its not met, even in the 75/25 realm, you can kiss the idea of a content life goodbye.

on a side note, men cannot claim 'man dumb', or not understanding what is expected of them, when it is very clearly defined for them every time the subject arises. if you are capable of discussing existensial philosophy to the point of mildly confusing me, you are capable of understanding a very black and white issue. you dont think with your penises because you have to, you do it because its just way easier. (when in reality if you would use just a small portion of that energy using your mind to try to understand your wife, maybe, just maybe, your other brain might be accomodated a little more regularly)

so, heres my take on things. you love your spouse. you married them, right? settling into comfort and a lower intensity should come natural. maybe an intense momet now and again, but still with the comfort of knowing each loves the other one. insecurity DOES take its toll. so, what are you left with? rationally, its should be a give and take, 50/50 sort of deal where you show your husband that you appreciate them, even if its for simply making the money to pay the morgage, and he shows he appreciates you, even if its just a 'thanks for cooking tonight' comment. this isnt the way of things though. i know that i can pour out comments of "oh, darling, that was a very innovative idea" and "thank you for taking the time to call me today on your lunch break" and so on...rewarding him for even the slightest show of thought process that isnt self involved. is this sort of attention returned? what do you think? so, i start with small little reminders: what do you think of your favorite meal that i cooked you, dear? response: "its okay". move on to a little sterner hint: "it makes me feel really loved when you notice what i do for you" response: "youve got a nice ass" start removing the nice things i do, no more lunches made to take to work, no more sex if im not in the mood, dinstancing because I am the one that goes unappreciated. he notices then, let me tell you. not in a good way, either. jealousy insues when i find something rewarding, that gives me satisfaction. jealous of reading, you say? yes. i would almost welcome an affair so he would leave me alone with my activities that HAVE been fulfilling to me. dont get me wrong, i have tried to be the bigger person and restart the nice communication, but to no avail. i become the nag. so, i give up, and live in an empty shell of a marriage, where neither of us are happy. so, you can promote a womans responsiblity all you want. like i said, i believe it is half her burden, but if its not met, even in the 75/25 realm, you can kiss the idea of a content life goodbye.

on a side note, men cannot claim 'man dumb', or not understanding what is expected of them, when it is very clearly defined for them every time the subject arises. if you are capable of discussing existensial philosophy to the point of mildly confusing me, you are capable of understanding a very black and white issue. you dont think with your penises because you have to, you do it because its just way easier. (when in reality if you would use just a small portion of that energy using your mind to try to understand your wife, maybe, just maybe, your other brain might be accomodated a little more regularly)

My husband of 25 years has complained for 2 years he is not quite happy and something is missing. I've tried it all to get him satisfied with his awesome life. But after marriage counseling started he tells me he "sortof" cheated 2 years ago. So I said the "something missing" is your commitment to this marriage! He needed to get it all out on the table so now it is and when I think of him touching another women ( who by the way was 'very attractive' according to him) I just think how betrayed I feel.. He says he wants to to work it out one day and the next says he thinks we have grown apart. ANd by the way I did NOT "let myself go" I was at the gym and excercising and doing all the right things along with him He looks incredible for 53 yrs old adn he knows it. I i=on the other hand am feeling the menopause and loss of my youthful attributes that no amount of doctors can restore. He was supposed to love me forever and he used to be so romantic now he wishes for the yougeer me. I am so depressed nad feeling so hopeless. We put all our eggs in one basket for retirement and it isi in HIS pension. I lost my job this yr and have been on unempoyment for 7 months. Now what? 53 yrs old no job no retirement a college degree I finished and is useless and student loans!

Checking cell-phone records and email shows a lack of trust and this causes as many problems as infidelity. GPS tracking...R U kidding!?!?! Practice these techniques and you WILL find yourself alone. Who writes this stuff?

Life nowadays is very fast paced, so fast paced that we forget the main and most important role we play, it is the family it is all about creating a solid base with morals, forgiveness, acceptance, but most important LOVE, all of this is achieved throu respect coming first from the parents the couple the seed from which the tree will grow strong and straight, if there is not respect wether is from the man or the woman, there is nothing, therefore there is no point on wasting years of trying to make it work, at the end it will not. I have been married twice, my first husband cheated, what he did not appreciate, loved and respect about me my second husband has, and that is why I have a great relationship were I feel worth it, were I have become, Wife, Mother, Best Friend and Lover, his RESPECT is what makes me want to be the best that I can for him, so you see is not woman the one that needs to keep the marriage from failing it is as much the mans responsibility, if he wants to feel he is winning then he needs to play a fair game and not give up to start a new game that will probably end the same way. Husbands bring some flowers tonight and tell her how much you love her with the best kiss you have ever given her, wifes don't argue just for today and let him kiss you, you will find yourselves not only wondering but will want more and look forward to it. The fire will burn forever we just need to make sure to keep it burning, both husband and wife