How To Keep Him From Cheating

My wife and I both agree that a cheater is a cheater and that the women who stick with cheaters are just as blind and pathetic for choosing to stay (it is just as bad as abuse). We also agree that both people in the relationship need to have enough confidence to prevent the behavior spoken about above. I would also like to add however, that my wife is my special other, not my mother. The methods of "prevention" described above are ones that describe how a woman treats her child.

Unfortunatly I am currently going thru this issue right now. Been married for 18yrs and I admit that I let my attention for my husband fall by the wayside. Forgot what and why I loved my husband. I ignored all the signs because I thought he would never cheat on me. Well I was wrong and there are feelings involved for the other woman and myself. We are trying to heal and move forward because before I even knew that he was having an affair I had realized that I loved this man with all my heart and soul. I hope that we can move forward and put this pai behind us, I actually think this may have saved our marraige.. It helped me see alot of my own faults and issues and feel the pain that my husband felt during the time that I pushed him away. I will never take one minute of his love for granted again.

We need to take a closer look at the word good the word good means: high-quality , first-class, first-rate fine ,excellent, decent, respectable, moral ,upright, virtuous, noble, worthy, blameless.
There is no way anyone on this planet can be good he or she makes a choice to cheat.
The bible teaches that the man is to love his wife like Christ loved the church with our the women relying on some kind of trick or just the right words. I am not saying that the women just do nothing. They should submit one to another. But if men would do just do one thing no matter what and that is to love your wife the same way Jesus Loves us and things will work out. And the women must do the same no matter what. You may say what about abuse, what about it. If we all just do what we are told most marriages will be ok. I see you have one more question, you say what is it that we should do. Though you would never ask. Eph 4:29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
Eph 4:30 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.
Eph 4:31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
Eph 4:32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
If you need to contact me for more help on marriage e-mail revjad@msn.com

Hmm. Following our appetites regardless of how it hurts or affects others, or the consequences. Isn't that sociopathic behavior, the extreme being Ted Bundys, and child molestors and torturers? Don't we want to evolve beyond that? Isn't it called moral responsibility in the individual? We don't look for excuses, but work to grow beyond our faults and ourselves? It depends on us and no one else?

The stupid question is what a woman can do to stop a man from cheating. Nothing. Bad men cheat. You can do nothing. Good men do not. Hard to find them.

Allow me to add another 2 cents from my reality; people dont' cheat b/c they don't care. Honestly there is no 'one' reason. I do not ascribe to monogamy. It is not to my liking. I love my spouse but I also like variety. Not in a sense that I sleep around with everyone that I get a chance to but the reality is that most of the men that I know do cheat (if not all). But in most cases they treat their spouses well and with respect. Science has shown that many men (& some women) are just not wired biologically to be monogamous. Truth of the matter is that we just aren't honest with ourselves and much less each other. I am not a monogamist and don't apologize for it. I have some hard advise; if you know your man is cheating and lying to you, you may want to consider inviting that modified type of relationship. At least from this perspective you get out of the "victim status" which is perpertrated on to girls and women as well as by them. Take control and deal with your situation like an intelligent adult instead of a selfish child-like brat. Don't mince my message either. I mean for men as well... If we as a group stop lying about our "monogamous" status then we don't just give women the choice of the best liars but the choice of the best man for them. TO ALL WOMEN; Heterosexual guys love women. It is on our nature. Even the man who has not cheated has a desire for other women that he may or may not admit to. It is an ingredient to temptation. You are not tempted by what you do not want. Lets be honest and put this out on the table.
I have three daughters and I teach my girls about this perspective to empower them to be able to control their lives for their own happiness. I don't tell them to accept or reject as I teach them how to think and not "what to think." But what I refuse to do is show them how to be a "victim."

I was married for 16 years and faithful for all 16. There are so many reasons WHY a person will cheat but there is truly only one decision point and that is the person who is going to cheat saying either "yes" or "no." Yes, being unappreciated is ONE of the many reasons one could blame for cheating but again, It boils down to the man (or woman) saying, "I'm going to cheat." There is no gun being held to their head and they fully understand the consequences of their action. They are not being forced!! A man can remain faithful if HE decides he will remain faithful, just as one would decide to decide to finish college, a project, remain a good and active parent, even after a divorce or making the decision to stay in shape, eat right and exercise on a regular basis. I didn't feel appreciated in my marriage, I liked to cuddle, but she didn't, we only had sex a few times a year (if that), wife didn't work (her decision), I cooked, cleaned, did EVERYTHING with my 2 sons and in the midst of all that, wrote a book, got a masters degree, but still found time to massage my wife, provide thoughtful gifts and stayed motivated, so I had MANY, MANY reasons to cheat but "I" decided I wouldn't cheat and guess what? I didn't!

On another note, a woman can show all the appreciation in the world to a man, but if he has decided to sleep with another woman then, that is what he will do. I've watched my relatives and dear friends do exactly that even with a very appreciative spouse. One friend's wife complained to me that her husband didn't like to have sex with her. My friend complained to me that his wife wanted to have sex too much!!! Guess what? He cheated on her. Why, because he had made a decision that he was going to cheat; it's that simple.

I will say this though. My faithfulness didn't get me more respect during my marriage or a discount on my divorce. In my opinion, a man's faithfulness (in most cases) looks different than a woman's faithfulness. We don't cheat; that's a man's faithfulness. If, as a man, I begin to have faith that my wife never wants to have sex with me or doesn't want my love then, I can honestly say I will not be faithful again, because in my eyes, she isn't faithful with me. Faithfulness is a two way street...PERIOD! (this again is my opinion from my experience).

Bottom line: Each and every man decides, in his own mind, whether he will be faithful to his spouse regardless of his circumstance. Once the decision is made, one way or another, that is what will come true.