How To Keep Him From Cheating

I forgot to mention that both men and women need to admit it their mistakes. If you want to be treated as an adult act like one. That is what I do to get respect. And remember the Golden Rule "do on to others as you would have them do on to you." Basically treat others how you want to be treated. By the way I am just 18 years old and have lived by this saying since I was about 5.

Hmmm, Where to begin. Well, I, as a man, have been cheated on by both of my wives. The first one with in a year of marriage... I divorced her in less than 30 days. The second one with in one and a half years of marriage. I couldn';t make myself leave then, but over the course of a year I did every thing the article spoke of... Spent less time at home, emotionally separated myself from her, and stopped having sex with her PERIOD. During that time I had several affairs. No one nighters, just allowed myself to love other women. These women knew I was married (they were too) but would frequently talk about the day when we would be together... I honestly loved them (I felt appreciated, cared for, and loved). I knew it was wrong, and yet couldn't make myself stop. After 1 and 1/2 years of begging myself to stay with my wife and end my affairs, I finally talked myself into staying and working it out. Now, 1 year latter, I still feel empty (my wife is a good person, but I know how green the other side of the fence is). Marriage counseling is just a friendly hobby, and I have accidently aquired a new girlfriend. I swear that this was not my intention, but it is like a drug. It doesn't seem to matter how many times I tell the new girlfriend this wont work, she still hears wedding bells and I am back to being the evil person. She speaks my love language and tells me how much she appreciates me and when she does it, it means so much more than when my wife does it to me. So hear is what I suggest: NEVER try the other side of the fence, when you go into another farmers field you just might love his pasture more and when you know what your missing, you'll never know what you missed. You see, I will now never know what it is like to look at my bride of 60 years and look into her eyes and tell her that she has been and will always be the only one. There have been and will probably for me always be others.... Ashamed and unproud.... D

I'm a man and I tend to agree with this some women I have been with twist things in to a you, you, you game, and I have one question to that how does that help? Also I don't they realize the effects that has on a man perspective of the relationship. Therefore turning it into an ???I can't win situation??? for their husband/ male companion. For example, if every day you asked your husband how you looked, and everyday it was the same response "your ugly"(=-1) (just follow along you will understand this whole books point in about 30 minute), and it to effect how you feel(=-1) so take then attached number to the statements and add assume you feelings are a level are 0 because your unsure about how you look okay so (x) is the relations of the predicted out come of these statements added together x=0+(-1)+(-1), (x)=-2 I???m not going to go in to much detail about it but really x went from 0 to -9 from this one situation so with that one example in mind your on level -2 with him right so you go out to the store with the clothes he told you look ugly in and meet someone that???s really attached to you in those close and comments to you on them(+1) and then shows you he???s intelligent too (+1) back to math -2=1+1 really it went to like 5 and exchanged numbers my point to this is this and this is exactly what this book is talking about I bet money on it and this math related as well (x) is you (y)is your husband (z) is your relationship value together, x and y relate to how one views they???re relationship this equation can get really complex in a matter minutes if your upset with your husband all the time chances are he???s not happy either and if some one comes in that makes him feel good about himself he will jump on like white on rice over a long period of time the happier you are in the recognition of your husband efforts into making you happy the happier he will be with you and the more he will do for you to try to make you happy and this works for a husbands side too but the women is usually the gets things going into the negative side because men usually don???t hold on to things that happen as long as women do a women will bring something up from weeks ago that she is pissed off about and the man just is like ***, *** it I can win I hate this women. Lol we all know this stuff I don???t understand why million are still struggling with marriage oh that???s right there a bunch of morons like the last poster just trying to get his wife to give it up to him every second of every day lol, and then they have kids Americas if you want to destroy your relationship be hatful be bitter bitch a lot about everything, and don???t recognize the efforts if you want a happy one be happy about who your with and be happy about the efforts and recognize the things that he does and he will do more to make you happy. And the next time the same effort is made he will make a harder effort towards doing it right if has half a brain.

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I dont feel this places a burden up on teh women shoulder at all. This is no different than what women say when they cheat, which is VERY often then laed to believe. They say..he doesnt respect or appreciated what I do at home, he doesnt talk to me or share his feeling with me....I think women have a hard time realizing the fact they , sometimes , arent giving what their're expecting from their men. I tell me lady all the time treat me how you want to be treat, think how you would feel if I did the same to you..this changes the perspective, her , quicker than you would think. I feel both the man & woman needs to maintain the interest level in a relationship by staying in shape, finding a common interest , step outside you own comford zone....man except shopping....I hate this with a passion ....allow her one in exchange not to enjoy with you...lol....you all be good

as a guyi find this interesting, a little funny, but all in all true. i read 1 comment by hward8634, that if she even suspect hes cheating she would get up iand leave because you know what, there are plenty of men who would want me.lol i laugh so hard at that. just leave now. the number 1 thing i hate is when u make a vow to be with someone, the last thing that should be in ur head is that he would cheat, and whats more interesting, uve all ready come to turns that if he did something of that calibur u already know what u would do... its to easyto see youve been in a harmful relationship in the past, and this guy u say u love and would never give up for nything, uve come to terms that you would leave him in a sniffy. but thats not the biggest ordal, its saying that you KNOW there are other men who i can get because, omg ur the hottest thing on the block today. that i think is whats gonna leave and has led to many broken reltionships. as a guy the last thing i would want my wife thinking is that she could get another guy. when a thief robs a house, its the theifs fault but its primary the owners fault for not going through every neccasary precation to avoid that. youve given per pretty much gave your self the oppurtunity by saying that u can have ny gui u choose. ur thinking about urself and not him. i cant really see my words on this thing so its hard to type, but im sure people will get my point. but as for the artical. i think its awesome. i think when ur bfriend and gfriend, maybe u shouldnt give adamn about how to stop him or her from cheating, to many people out there to train someone why cheating is bad. nbut when u tell someone you love them and want to marry them, u should be willing to do everything in you power to make it happen. ask you self a question. how many guys out there, everyday goes on the internet or rent some book on how to make your girlfriend a littlemore happy. would it be that hard for females like u to put your priode down for 1 second and make your husband that little extra more special?

Personally I think agree with some aspects of this but what about saying if a man feels "unappreciated" he should talk to his significant other. I mean seriously it seems like it falls on the woman to go above and beyond to keep a man faithful and the effort required doesn't seem to be equal. I agree feeling unappreciated ( for a man or a woman) is a huge let down in a relationship but there is NO good excuse for cheating on the one you supposedly love. Good man or woman aside I believe it all comes down to communication and it think it's articles like this that give people the excuse to cheat.

This is lame. Don't waste your time on anyone who cheats or who you fear will cheat. 1. If you're scared your man will cheat, he probably will, or you need to work on your self confidence by being ALONE. 2. Once you find a GOOD man who really loves you, you won't think twice about him cheating, because this type of man (and they are out there), just plain out won't! DUH!

This is lame. Don't waste your time on anyone who cheats or who you fear will cheat. 1. If you're scared your man will cheat, he probably will, or you need to work on your self confidence by being ALONE. 2. Once you find a GOOD man who really loves you, you won't think twice about him cheating, because this type of man (and they are out there), just plain out won't! DUH!

This article makes some since to me. However, in the real world, it???s the cheater with a plan that wins. Ex. if a man or a woman cheats, it is best not to tell. Some comedian said ???Dumber partners make a relationship last???. As bad as it sounds it???s true. There is less evidence for a partner that told and continued the relation ship. And the tracking and checking phone is not a good idea unless the person that is doing it is an expert. Most of us fumble because we get more emotional. Good luck

The one thing I have to say is that if you suspect your spouse of cheating for good reason not because they came home 5 min later than usual ( I say spouse because not only men are cheaters) more than likely they are. You should never have to stoop to the level of going through their phone or putting GPS on they car that's crazy. I tell myself if my husband ever cheats on me I am gone because I will not ever put myself through the questions of what did I do wrong? I am a great wife and any man would be lucky to have me and if he cant see that there are plenty of men who would love to have me. That is what every person needs to tell themself because its more often than not the truth. I don't think being harsh and calling people pathetic is needed because its like you say its just another form of abuse and if you know what its like to be abused than you would know that the abuser breaks you down and convinces you that you are nothing and nobody wants you. So be strong and know you are wanted and they are not all there is.

seems like a lot of people are saying that a cheater is a cheater and can't change. This is the same thing as saying that a drug addict will never quit taking drugs or a mean person will always be a mean person. I know tons of people who have changed for the better and are still working daily to improve their quality of life. I was in a similar situation once with my wife where we weren't getting along to the point where I moved out. I had numerous chances to cheat on her (as we were still married) and I was able to keep my head and not do so, though it came close I never did the deed. It didn't feel right. I also think that people are taking what the book writer says too literally. The moral of the story is both parties need to feel appreciated, communication, communication, communication! In the event that one does not feel appreciated they need to communicate this to the other one and in a proper manner not just accusations. When my wife and I decided that we wanted to work it out, it took awhile and wasn't easy but it was done and BOTH of us changed for the better. We both make sure to let the other know how much we notice what they do. "hey babe, thanks a lot for doing the dishes and cleaning the house. It was really nice to come home to this. I'll make dinner" I have been with my wife since high school (I am 34 now so I'm not exactly new to being married) so we have a bit of a different set up than most. There are no gender roles in this family. Everyone cooks, cleans, mows the lawn and works. It is my opinion that the little things in life will keep you married. A few simple gestures will go a LONG way. word

Yello, I see alot of people saying that a cheater is a cheater and won't change etc..... this is the same thing as saying a drug addict will always do drugs and a mean person will always be mean. People can change, I have countless amounts of friends who have changed for the better and are still working on improving their lives. Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying you should stay with somebody if they cheat on you but this situation is always on a per situation basis.

I think alot of you are taking what the book writer said too literally. The moral of the story is that both parties need to feel appreciated. If one side is not displaying that enough then it needs to be talked about and ultimately will need to be brought up by the person who feels under appreciated. I have been with my wife since high school and we change all the time. (never have gone the route of cheating but we have split up and I had numerous chances to do so but I kept my head and never did go thru with it) communication, communication, communication! We both make it a huge point to make sure the other knows we are happy with them. Even the stupid stuff like "hey thanks for mowing the lawn or doing the dishes" it seems trivial but in my opinion it's the little things that are the key to your marriage. I am very happy to have discovered this in my 30's and didn't go the way of so many others who blow it in their 40's or above.