Wanted: A Bundle of Joy

Not sure where / how the last two lines appeared in my previous post. I did not put them there.

My point is know the law. Once the adoption is finalized it doesn't matter if the birthparent "changes his / her mind", the law states you are the parent.

Also, why is everyone so afraid of birthparents? I met my son's birthmother, bgrandmother and bgreatgrandmother. Birthparent truly love their children and want the best for them - and that is why they give up their rights. (I cannt comment on those parents whose rights were terminated by law enforcement)

To clarify some misstatements regarding domestic adoption.

We are blessed with parenthood by domestic adoption. Once birth parents terminate their parental rights - with respect to newborns, in some states it is at least 72 hours after the birth. Once parental rights are terminated and the prospective adoptive parents has custody of the child that is a major milestone. The next step is to finalize the adoption, which typically can be done within a year of the childs birth. There are post-placement visits by social workers and other legalities that must take place. Once the adoption is finalized, that's it. There is no court that will reunite the child with it's birthparent - nor remove the child from its home to an agency - unless there was fraud involved - just because the birthparent changed its mind. However, if during the period of the termination of parental rights and the finalization takes place, there is the rare occurance of a birth parent changing its mind. Keep in mind, the child is not automatically returned. There are laws to protect everyone and the judge will look out for the best interest of the child - which may or may not be the birthparent.

With respect to costs, it all depends on how you go about it. There are government agencies, adoption agencies, and we chose private adoption. I recommend working with an attorney who specializes in adoption to clear the way for you and let you focus on becoming a parent. Cost can be minimal - less than $1,000 to the extreme numbers some people posted here. Adoption web sites will tell you the typical cost for a domestic adoption runs from $10,000 - $15,000.

If you want to be a parent, and are considering adoption you will be a parent. There are children from all over the world of all ages who want and need a loving home.

that can cause major heartaches later and some (like my wife and I) didn't want the risk of said heartache later when the birth parents get their lives back together and want their kid bac

As an adult, domestic adoptee who has a biological child and an internationally adopted child, I can't pass up this opportunity to comment. The only issue here is that there are children of all races and nationalities that don't have food to eat, a roof over their head, clothing on their back, and most importantly the love of parents and family. You've all argued your points correctly on both sides for domestic vs. international adoption, but does it really matter where the child was born? Should we not all be given the same treatment of food, clothing, shelter, and love? My domestic adoption was a private adoption many years ago when adoption laws were quite different, and we chose an international adoption because we didn't want to run the risk of a parent coming back looking to reclaim their child. Domestic vs. international is as personal a decision as the decision to adopt, and neither decision is wrong.

Please look past the location of these children and acknowledge that we, as a society, need to do more for children everywhere. If you can't adopt, please explore the option of supporting those who do adopt or sponsoring children so they can have food, clothing, and shelter. It's the least you can do, plus it will make you think twice before you condemn someone else's decision of how they choose to support the children of our world.

my wife and I have considered adoption, but I had no idea that it was so expensive. I know two collegues who happily adopted infants, but they did it domestically from teen mothers. Maybe that's the way to go, since our teens certainly aren't going to get less frisky any time soon.

There are THOUSANDS of children in America who 'belong' to the government and are living in foster homes, group homes and correctional facilities! They aren't even 'bad kids'- we just don't have enough homes for them- whether it be foster homes or adoptive families. In Maine, it costs $100 to adopt a foster child and that's for your finger printing. Their healthcare is covered until they are 18. In most cases where the child is 'ready for adoption', their parents rights have long since been taken away and there is never a question of whether or not they can come back and 'take them'.
I really wish people looked more into foster care/adoption. These kids are just waiting for homes and they have done nothing wrong.
I have nothing against foreign adoptions- every child should have a loving and safe home. But, when I know there's a child right down the street who doesn't have a forever family... I'm not sure how I could justify spending tens of thousands of dollars to deal with governmental B.S. and adopt from overseas. That is just my personal opinion. We have a 3 year old adopted daughter and are in the process of adopting our 2nd child, through the foster care system. They been the most rewarding experiences of our lives.
God Bless ANYONE who adopts of fosters a child, no matter what country they may be from!

A child is a child is a child...no matter where they were born.

A child is a child is a child...no matter where they were born.

It is incredibly unfair for people to pass judgment on anyone's choice to adopt children either domestically or internationally. Each family weighs the pros and cons and makes decisions best suited to for them. Much has been reported about potentially corrupt systems in foreign countries. However, the United States is by no means without its flaws. There is plenty of corruption to go around not to mention the incredibly difficult bureaucracy which exists in the U.S. Many families have chosen to go outside of the U.S. because of the bureaucracy in the U.S. and because of the push by many U.S. agencies to maintain contact/ties/rights to birth families in domestic adoption cases. If that system works for some, then great. However, if it does not, then international adoption might be the appropriate choice for others. Also, let's not use the few highly publicized cases of certain celebrities as examples of typical international adoption cases. Whether it is the bureaucracy in the U.S. or the complications with the Hague accreditation or interference by other international agencies, such as UNICEF, abandoned or orphaned children are the ones who lose. Both domestic and international adoptions are impeded by the bureaucracy and politics of governments. Many adoptable children, here and abroad, will not find families because of these impediments.

It is incredibly unfair for people to pass judgment on anyone's choice to adopt children either domestically or internationally. Each family weighs the pros and cons and makes decisions best suited to for them. Much has been reported about potentially corrupt systems in foreign countries. However, the United States is by no means without its flaws. There is plenty of corruption to go around not to mention the incredibly difficult bureaucracy which exists in the U.S. Many families have chosen to go outside of the U.S. because of the bureaucracy in the U.S. and because of the push by many U.S. agencies to maintain contact/ties/rights to birth families in domestic adoption cases. If that system works for some, then great. However, if it does not, then international adoption might be the appropriate choice for others. Also, let's not use the few highly publicized cases of certain celebrities as examples of typical international adoption cases. Whether it is the bureaucracy in the U.S. or the complications with the Hague accreditation or interference by other international agencies, such as UNICEF, abandoned or orphaned children are the ones who lose. Both domestic and international adoptions are impeded by the bureaucracy and politics of governments. Many adoptable children, here and abroad, will not find families because of these impediments.

While there may be thousands of kids available for adoption in the US, there are too many rights and opportunities for the birth parents to come back and "retrieve" their child should they desire to do so. In China, the (mostly) girls are abandoned - as males are preferred to carry on the family name - and China still has a 1 child law (taxing the family if they want have more children). We adopted a little girl from China in 2006 and couldn't feel more blessed. My husband is of Chinese decent - his parents were born in China, so this little girl IS retaining her heritage. I guess BillsCatz doesn't know many adoptive families nor has he/she researched our reasons for doing so. I had a friend lose her son - the mother came back to get him after 90 days. That's 90 days of raising a child as your own, loving him unconditionally, only to have the him yanked from your arms - and you can't do a damn thing about it because the mother has "rights." I can't imagine the pain and suffering and the emotional rollercoaster they endured - especially since they were unable to have their own child in the first place. I didn't want to go through that and chose to separate my family from the birth parents by a big ocean.

By the way, the US is corrrupt also - baby brokers, etc... don't think the US is above the fray...

I agree -- and I hope everyone here does -- that we ought not to go around calling one another unkind names. At the same time, the rest of us are tired of people who go bananas whenever they feel insulted and even more tired of people who escalate matters by returning perceived insult for insult. Several of you have done that. The individual who encouraged people to turn away from international adoption to domestic adoption was stating a valid opinion, albeit one I do not share. When (s)he referred to "other country's rejects" (s)he placed a finger on the heartbreaking reality of children who for various reasons are abandoned or disowned. My wife and I thank God to be adoptive parents of two happy and thriving rejects aged 9 and 10, one domestic and one import.

I agree -- and I hope everyone here does -- that we ought not to go around calling one another unkind names. At the same time, the rest of us are tired of people who go bananas whenever they feel insulted and even more tired of people who escalate matters by returning perceived insult for insult. Several of you have done that. The individual who encouraged people to turn away from international adoption to domestic adoption was stating a valid opinion, albeit one I do not share. When (s)he referred to "other country's rejects" (s)he placed a finger on the heartbreaking reality of children who for various reasons are abandoned or disowned. My wife and I thank God to be adoptive parents of two happy and thriving rejects aged 9 and 10, one domestic and one import.

Both our children are adopted - our son is from Russia and our daughter from Guatemala. We are saddened by the changes that are resulting in fewer adoptions from these countries - or the halt of adoptions from these countries. Our children are wonderul! There are so many more children that needs homes and I shutter to think what will happen to these children. I think to blame a country for corruptions is wrong - I was never told to place money in a glove compartment. Perhaps that has more to do with the agency than the country. My husband and I are blessed by our children each and every day and I wouldn't do one thing different and I would adopt again internationally in a heartbeat.

Both our children are adopted - our son is from Russia and our daughter from Guatemala. We are saddened by the changes that are resulting in fewer adoptions from these countries - or the halt of adoptions from these countries. Our children are wonderul! There are so many more children that needs homes and I shutter to think what will happen to these children. I think to blame a country for corruptions is wrong - I was never told to place money in a glove compartment. Perhaps that has more to do with the agency than the country. My husband and I are blessed by our children each and every day and I wouldn't do one thing different and I would adopt again internationally in a heartbeat.

While I can't speak for anyone's actual motivations, my experiences with foreign adoption are that the providing countries are corrupt while the domestic providers are answering to a higher calling. While out of the country, I and another father-to-be were taken to a bank where most the money we had earlier provided was wired to us. When we returned to the car, the driver instructed us to put the cash into the glove compartment. It was "legit", as we had our kids 24 hours later. When my family later had issues, though, it was obvious that the agency believed that it's role was to "rescue" as many kids as possible, not to help parents with post-adoption issues.