Lessons From the Front Lines

Carla Christofferson, Attorney and Co-Owner, L.A. Sparks
Sometimes we get locked into things we know how to do or that our parents are doing. Doing something strange or unusual or entrepreneurial may seem more frightening. To me, everything was equally odd. I grew up on a sheep farm. No one in my family had graduated from college. I didn't know any lawyers. And so to me, buying the basketball team was no more difficult or strange than going to law school. My advice is to be fearless. I've failed at a lot of things, and it didn't kill me. Sometimes it's embarrassing, but I really got used to people saying no, and getting up, pretending it didn't happen and trying something else.

When you're looking at a big problem or task, break it down into small, manageable parts. Then, if one or two things don't work, it's easy to try something else. Don't let the overwhelming nature of the entire burden that you're trying to carry or the entire improvement stop you from taking the first few steps. Even if you think there's no way you're going to get to the end, it doesn't matter. You have to take the first steps.

I think it's important for young women to understand that there will be days when they just cannot believe how unfair the world is and they cannot believe how hard it is, and they really want to lie in bed and pull the covers over their head. That's normal. What's important is that you get up the next day—or a couple days later—and continue down the path. There are still days when I want to pull the covers over my head. But I get up anyway.

Julie Hembrock Daum, Practice Leader, Spencer Stuart
Even today, there are times when a woman might find herself the only woman in a room. In all situations, but particularly then, it is important to be present in the room and to make sure you are a part of the conversation. Women have a tendency to hang back a bit in a group and think that they shouldn't speak unless they have something that is either absolutely 100 percent correct or astonishingly brilliant. In fact, if you don't speak up, if you're waiting for that opportunity and it never comes, people just assume you had no ideas and will write you off. In a meeting or gathering, you should try to be one of the first handful of people to speak even if it is only to ask a question. If you don't, it will become harder and harder to enter the conversation.

I think women also have a tendency, myself included, to couch things in a way that's easy for people to hear. So we will say, "Well, I am not sure if this is right, but I was thinking that perhaps we could do this, or we should think about doing that," when what they really mean is "It seems so obvious we should be doing this." Unfortunately, women have a tendency to speak with hesitation and, it appears, without strength in their conviction. They may be afraid of making a mistake—and you will make mistakes. But many times they are also trying to make it easy for people to accept the idea. However, if you do that, within 10 seconds a man will take the idea and say, "You know, I've been thinking, we should do x." And you're sitting there going, "Oh my God! I just said that." But nobody heard you say that. This has happened to every woman I know. You need to be bold, be willing to make statements affirmatively and take ownership of your ideas.

Life is so fulfilling if you can have a family and a meaningful career. I love my daughters and have a very close relationship with each. But I have always loved my job and think it is important to have something that is mine—something I am good at and that I take pride in. I also think it is important to know that I can take care of myself. This is all-important to me right now because my last child just left home. I don't know what I would do if I were just looking at their empty bedrooms. But I have my work, and I find it intellectually engaging. I want young women to know that it's wonderful to be able to do both, though I would have liked to have more time to exercise and occasionally have a manicure.

© 2008