A Very Brady Confession

Despite finding support and guidance through the church, I still felt disconnected and depressed. My husband and I were on the outs, and I would just cry every day. I didn't want to leave my house; I didn't want to get out of bed. I screamed and yelled and blamed everything on him. I was hating myself. I was angry and had this deep, deep sadness that I thought would never go away. Really, I thought I was insane.

Then one day when my daughter Natalie was around 10, I was sitting on the porch with my friend, pouring my heart out. I said I didn't want to participate in life because I was so sad. Basically, I didn't want to live. My friend, who's a doctor, suggested antidepressants. I was totally resistant and did not want to go on another drug because I have such an addictive personality. My husband was also against me going on Prozac. We went to every bookstore we could find and read every book on Prozac, depression and being bi-polar. I was crying while I was reading all this stuff and thinking, "Oh, my God, this is me!" I finally gave in and said I have to try it because I have tried everything else and nothing has worked.

I started taking antidepressants more than a decade ago, and that's when my whole world really changed. I started to feel like a normal person for the first time in my life. My husband will tell you that he thought the difference was night and day. At the risk of sounding like one of those TV ads, I can honestly say that antidepressants changed my life.

Now I've been sober for 27 years, and I'm going on 24 years of marriage with the most wonderful man in the entire world. For the first time in my life, I feel like it's OK to be imperfect and it's OK to tell my story.

I decided to write a book because I felt I had to talk about what I've been through and stop hiding. This is what life is all about: sharing our stories and mistakes, learning from each other and helping each other to get better. It's great to finally be just me.

McCormick is on tour promoting her new book, “Here’s the Story: Surviving Marcia Brady and Finding My True Voice.”

© 2008