Like Parent, Like Child

Awareness is the first step in healing, both individually and nationally. The epidemics of obesity and diabetes affect children throughout the country. As you may have heard by now, these epidemics may cause our children's generation to be the first to have a shorter lifespan than their parents. It has also become clear that diseases affecting adults often begin in childhood. According to Dr. Gerald Berenson, founder of the Bogalusa Heart Study, a continuing 30-year study of 14,000 children and young adults, "The message of the study is that coronary artery disease, atherosclerosis, hypertension and heart disease all begin in childhood. There is a window of opportunity where parents can have a significant impact."

And it's not just what may happen to our kids in the future—it's what's happening to them right now. In the Bogalusa study, researchers found early signs of heart disease much sooner than was previously believed. Children as young as 3 often had grossly visible fatty streaks in their aortas; by age 10 it was apparent in some kids' coronary arteries. A recent study showed that 70 percent of 12-year-olds already have fatty streaks, which are the beginning of hardening of the arteries. Last week, a new study, presented at the American Heart Association's recent scientific sessions, reported that overweight kids with elevated cholesterol and triglyceride levels, had the arteries of someone at least 30 years older.

I've learned that whether they're 6 or 60, even more than feeling healthy, most people want to feel free and in control. If I tell someone, "Eat this and don't eat that" or "Don't smoke," they immediately want to do the opposite. Even my son, Lucas, doesn't like to be treated like a child. When he was 2 years old, I said to him, "No one can tell you what to eat, not even me. You're in control of your own body. You don't ever have to eat anything you don't want." But I do explain why we serve mostly healthful foods in our home and how different foods affect how we feel.

As a result, he feels empowered and in control. He also feels regarded and respected, and free to make healthful choices that are sustainable. He understands the reasons for eating this way rather than my telling him, "Because I said so!" And, like his dad, he enjoys a little chocolate most days. If he wants a treat, or some dessert, and he's eaten his meal, then he gets it. But since there isn't a charge around it, it's not a "forbidden fruit," so he doesn't feel compelled to pig out. For example:

"Can I have some dessert?"

"Sure, what would you like?"

"Some M&M's."

"OK, how many?"

"Five."

So he has five M&M's and feels very happy. He doesn't feel the need to eat the whole package because it's not forbidden. "Eat the apple" doesn't work any better than God's injunction "don't eat the apple."

Sustainable choices come from joy and openness, not from a place of command, fear and restriction. When we understand what a powerful influence our lifestyle choices have on our children, then we can reframe these choices from being a sacrifice to an act of love. Love made manifest.

© 2008