A Recipe For a Family Fight

To Shizz-brenda: I'm a Mexican mom, I've been here 39 years, one of my three daughters converted to veganism for 4 months now, before being a vegetarian for 4 years. I try to be understanding and I highly simpathize with vegetarianism and veganism, we eat a lot of vegetables in our home. Be patient with your parents/family, that''s one of the ways to stand your beliefs, which are good. Stand your ground. Take courage, you're doing something good.

Samowski, I completely agree. Well said!

Im not quiet sure what to do this thanksgiving.
My family is freaking latino! (notTryingToOffenceive) I've been a vegetarian since i
was 9, im 13. If i dont eat meat this thanksgiving im dead, my parents already hate me
being vegetarian and i dont think i can stand anymore Interrogations from my family.
Any advice? :/

As an untalented chef and carnivore, I can't imagine trying to make a meat-free main dish aside from rice and beans with mushrooms and corn. I haven't the heart and skill to try something beyond this. I feel for the vegans and vegetarians, and on some level admire then for their political and health morals, but I just know I wouldn't be the most thoughtful host for my veggie and vegan friends.

Thank you for all your thoughtful comments on this out-of-the-way subject. Enjoy the holiday!

Whenever anyone finds out that I'm a vegetarian, that person either starts regaling me with an explanation of how much meat they do or do not eat, gives me the third degree, or starts to explain in detail to ME what MY motivation is. All this while I just stand there, waiting for them to stop. For example: I'm in a restaurant waiting for a table, and the lady next to me asks if the steak there is any good. "I don't know, I've never had their steak." "Really, are you a vegetarian?" "Yes, I am." Now I get to listen to her go on and on for 5 minutes while she makes excuses for herself. I never confronted her; I didn't use a "tone" when I said "Yes, I am;" but I still get to listen to her going on. This type of thing happens all the time.

We don't eat Thanksgiving dinner with one side of our family any more because they won't let us just eat and enjoy their company. I am not offended that they serve turkey, but they are offended that we don't eat it.
They've been offended by this for 20 years.

(On another note--Sarah Kliff, you and your editor missed the difference between their and they're.)

Being a strict vegan, my family's always been accomidating. Cooking for a vegan/ vegetarian isn't as difficult as many would think. A good solution to this problem are substitutes. For instance, The brand name Tofurky make, not only vegan roasts, but kits that include stuffing, dumplings, mushroom based gravy as well as the roast. You can also use vegan based margarines or butters (i.e. Fleischmen's, Earth Balance) within the potatos, squash, sweet potato, etc.(most people can't tell the difference anyway). You can find many of these products in major grocery stores or health food stores.

Samowski...my sister and all her little friends are vegetarians. My mom does everything to accomodate them and their tastes. No one makes jokes about their tastes and they still complain and whine, I think they should love the attention of saying " Yup I AM a Vegetarian. I just agree with most of the posters here...if this is the biggest things you are fighting about. then life is good.

I was an adamant non-vegetarian after years of "at least" trying different items UNTIL I tasted a client's veggi pattie at a birthday party for her husband who is a vegetarian. I was so amazed and addicted after one that I talked her in to taking them to market and guess what - now I am a "Flexitarian" and her VP of Marketing and Sales for her Chez Gourmet vege patties and she has moved from a 1600SF kitchen to a 12,000SF kitchen and going across the country. So much for not being a "vegetarian."

Who cares. let them eat cake! Oh by the way, Merry Christmas to all. And I do mean Merry Christmas!!

I've been a vegetarian for 9 years, and never really liked Thanksgiving food anyway. My mom came up with the idea to order take out from my favorite Mexican restaurant (which the rest of the family doesn't like). Unorthodox perhaps, but I eat what I like while the family eats the traditional meal, and it all works out great. I won't even be with them this year, but I'm still planning on getting Mexican take out to continue my tradition.

I didnt know it was such a big deal. I have been a vegetarian for a year and nobody cares! my family eats meat, all of them! I am bringing tofurkey to my thanksgiving dinner next week. We are spending thanksgiving with friends and family and I feel comfortable enough to bring tofurkey if I want to. I dont see whats the big deal. Most of the time, when I bring veggie burgers or fake chicken nuggets to BBQs people ask me to try them, they say: Huh! who would've thunk it! It does taste like chicken! and go back to eating their rare 12 oz. steak.

Like I said before, maybe my family is that awesome, but they have never said anything about me switching, there is no heckling, no picking on me, they didnt think I could do it (I used to be a meat lover) but now that I have stuck to it, they are super understanding, and I wouldnt expect less of them.

Be thankful for the food on your table, eat what you like to eat, don't eat what you don't like to eat. Accept those who eat meat, accept those who do not. Nothing in life is black and white and the best we can do is to all peacefully coexist.

to respond to Cuban Pete's comment: I think some people who are Vegetarians think too much of themselves. Noboby really cares if you eat the turkey or not...just don't give me the speech about how the birds are raised and slaughtered.

I can assure you that 99.9999% of the time it is not the vegetarians giving a speech. We just want to eat what we want without all of the questions and jokes. SERIOUSLY!!! Its not that crazy. I have had to explain myself soooooo many more times than I have ever (if ever) given someone a "lecture" about eating meat. So we aren't "thinking too much of ourselves!"

I've never had this sort of problem at Thanksgiving Dinner. My family embraced my vegetarianism from day one and now my dad is the only one in the immediate family who eats meat, so HE'S the minority! And we still have 30 people to Thanksgiving dinner and 3 turkeys but everything else served is vegan, and we have so much fun experimenting with new dishes each year, as well as vegan-izing the old favorites. Usually our guests don't have any idea they're eating vegan mashed potatoes or pumpkin pie!

This is hysterical! I work with a lady that's a near-vegan vegitarian, and we've had many discussions on the subject. For the record, I am not now, nor will I ever be, a vegetarian, and I don't know if it would be Thanksgiving without the turkey, but that's just me. If a vegetarian came over to my house on Thanksgiving, there would still be plenty of non-meat items to eat (though a vegan might have some trouble). On the other hand, if I went to a vegetarian's house for Thanksgiving, I would not expect them to make a special turkey just for me. I would eat whatever they serve, and hopefully be gracious about it. In fact, IF I have any problem with Thanksgiving, it is the belief that, since someone went through all the trouble to make a dish, that it would only be polite to try some - even if it's something I don't like. My sister always brings pecan pie because she likes it, and I hate pecans. Oh, well.

"While working at a series of Aviagen factory farms in West Virginia, PETA's investigator documented that workers tortured, mutilated, and maliciously killed turkeys." If that statement is still worthy of "heckling," a jovial jab in the ribs, or a giggle and wink, I guess like you could sort of possibly maybe make a funny aside about seeing a person lynched or gang-raped... then see the video for yourself.
You can find the authentic footage here: http://getactive.peta.org/campaign/turkey_investigation
Maybe turkeys cannot write novels and treatises about innate dignity, but they can feel pain and terror, huh? They are after all sentient beings.