A Recipe For a Family Fight

This article makes me grateful that my family is so accommodating. I am the only vegan (or vegetarian) in the family, yet my mom has tinkered all of her recipes so the only non-vegan things on the table are the turkey and the stuffing from the bird. No one even notices the substitutions of soymilk and margarine. I make myself a separate "main dish" that usually gets eaten by everyone. Aside from the lack of turkey, my plate is pretty much the same as everyone else's.

I quit eating meat and poultry 31 years ago -- seafood -- 16. I cook turkey with all the fixings for my husband and 3 boys every Thanksgiving AND Christmas. It is tradition and they LOVE it! I do the stuffing outside the bird and can eat everything but the bird and gravy.

Finally, after about 15 years of being a vegetarian, my family has stopped making me feel like an outcast for not even trying "just a little bite" of the turkey, the gravy or the stuffing. My mom now even makes me my own stuffing-cooked outside the bird without sausage or any kind of chicken broth added and she makes LOTS of vegetable side dishes now. My advice, stick with it, be content eating your veggie burger or whatever you choose (tofurky is kind of gross) and eventually your family and friends will know you are for real and will come to admire you for your passion and dedication to a healthy lifestyle.

The variety of Thanksgiving vegetables is huge. I will be preparing one or maybe two meat dishes for my gathering, but probably 10 different kinds of vegetables, and plenty of them. Most were grown in my own garden. Why focus conflict on the bird, or whatever the meat du jour is? There are so many ways of preparing the vegetables that maybe the challenge for vegans should be to find good-tasting non-meat dishes to introduce to family members.
There are many positive resolutions to this problem.
Be thankful everybody!

If you think it is tough being a vegetarian during Thanksgiving, try sticking to a low carb way of eating!!!
Other than the turkey, there really is damn little on that table that is fit to eat and that allows a person to stay under 20 grams for the day.
I've already informed my family that I will not be attending this year.

To Curryjm; You're absolutlely right! Just reading over the comments on why you should be a vegetarian... oh wait...

To Curryjm; You're absolutlely right! Just reading over the comments on why you should be a vegetarian... oh wait...

My wife and I have been vegans for 5 years now and we have always had Thanksgiving for our family and friends for 30 years. We ;just continue cooking a turkey that the other 30 or so people enjoy and there has never been any uncomfortable feeling from anyone.

This is so silly - eat what makes you happy, be it vegetarian or non-veggie. It's not about what you eat. It's about being grateful that you have something to eat in the first place.

At least you folks in the States HAVE Thanksgiving. I now live in England with my British husband and two half-British children. I've tried for years to interest them in our unique American celebration, with little success (doesn't help that it's on a Thursday when the kids are at school and hubby is at work all day). Next week, when all of you are enjoying your turkey dinner - or not, as the case may be - it will be just another day of the week for me. All of you should relax and enjoy the day; what's on the menu is secondary to what the occasion represents.

I wish I could be back home for the holiday. Instead, I'll be trying to find a website streaming the Macy's parade. Get a little perspective, folks.

If this is indicative of the seriousness of your problems, you are blessed in ways most dream about. I've never even heard of a family raising a fuss about someone's vegetarianism/veganism at a holiday meal, as we were taught that lifestyle differences are to be viewed as respectfully as they would someone's different religion. I even know vegetarians who, on this one day, join in eating the turkey with everyone else. The comments of those in the examples cited above seems to be reflective of their narrowmindedness, not the vegetarian's "upsetting" of "tradition".

After my Dad died my Mom announced she was switching to pizza for Thanksgiving because the idea of making turkey without my Dad around to carve it was too emotional. (Big relief since my husband and I were struggling how to explain the dead bird to our newborn when he got old enough to recognize what it was). The Chicago Style pizza was such a hit that we now have homemade from scratch macaroni and cheese for Christmas, grilled cheese (with high quality cheese and bread) for New Years, and taco potluck for Easter. That's what happens when you ask kids what they want to eat, but none of us would go back to the hours of cooking and cleanup to eat foods we don't like. My kids tell me the kids at school ask if they can come to our house for those meals since they are things they like rather than eating the traditional foods.

After my Dad died my Mom switched to pizza for Thanksgiving (yes pizza) and everyone including the meat eaters are much happier. We have most of the side dishes, but none of the mess or hassle of a turkey. Less time in the kitchen and more time enjoying each other. That is what Thanksgiving is supposed to be about, not food. We ditched the oyster stew at Christmas for macaroni and cheese and the Easter ham for Mexican potluck because the pizza was such a hit! The kids tell me all the other kids at school are envious that we get things we like instead of the "traditional" meals. (although pizza is now a HUGE tradition with us)

How about just eating eating? Too much whining!!!!!!!

With so many tensions and REAL problems in our lives and world, what a silly thing to worry about. As far as Thanksgiving goes, everybody just needs to eat what they want and leave everyone else alone. But for the Vegans out there, if you are going to dinner where the traditional feast is prepared and offered, then just eat what you can and don't make a big deal about it. If you are a traditionalist, then eat veggies there and your turkey at home. Peace on earth begins with you.

bio ms, I'm with you. I don't like Tofurky, at least not the fake turkey. I do love the Tofurkey brand italian sausage, but that's a different subject. I love the Quorn Turk'y Roast, as well as most of their other products. In my opinion, it's better than turkey (before I became a vegetarian, turkey was my favorite), and a whole lot faster to prepare.

I managed to convince my parents and brother to become vegetarian, so I don't have to deal with the awkward family meal, but I still have to deal with other people I'm around everyday. In the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving, I get all the questions from neighbors and co-workers about what I'm going to do about Thanksgiving. They won't try the foods I eat themselves, but will make fun of me for it, and say that nothing compares to their wonderful turkey dinner. No matter how many times I tell them I don't even like salad, they seem to assume this is all I eat.

Depending on how detailed a vegetarian you are, Thanksgiving meals can be tricky, unless you prepared it yourself. Even a well-intending person can easily make something that they though was vegetarian, but isn't. Looking in the grocery store, it's difficult to find stuffing mix, or mashed potatoes that don't contain some sort of chicken stock or chicken fat. You have to actually read labels to look for those that are truly vegetarian. I've had people get upset when they offered me a jello salad, and I turned it down because vegetarians don't eat gelatin (it's made from animal bones and tissue). I try to avoid the Thanksgiving "dinners" at work, and I'm just glad I don't have to deal with a non-vegetarian Thanksgiving at home.

I've been veggie for >15 years and generally find Thanksgiving pretty easy. There are so many sides to choose from! I'll often bring a dish that I like to make sure that there's something veggie available when I'm not certain. Thanksgiving isn't the day to make arguments about the ethics of our diets, just enjoy the food you like and the company you get to spend the day with.